Archive for the ‘commercials’ category
July 10, 2019
The iconic KFC founder and spokesman Colonel Sanders has enjoyed a lively if bizarre post-mortem career, melding into Robocop, being portrayed by Reba McEntire, and even tripping the light fantastic with Mrs.Butterworth. Now the Colonel has morphed once again to be portrayed by Chester Cheetah, retaining the original’s trademark white suit, beard, and tie. Frankly, this spokes-cat wears the garb well!
And so it comes to pass that Cheetos mascot Chester Cheetah becomes Colonel Chester to mark the launch of a new Cheetos Sandwich, even skateboarding in his commercial outing. The popular anthropomorphic mascot is but the latest in a kind of rotating spokesperson concept for the franchise. Time will tell if he continues to be “dangerously cheesy…“
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, twisted reality
Tags: KFC's Colonel Chester
Comments: 9 Comments
July 4, 2019
This is truly bizarre; cool and creepy at the same time, like some fiendish device created by Skynet to work towards the extermination of the human race. We’ve all heard of Centaurs, those fusions of man and horse, and we know about Minotaurs, those hybrids of bull and man. Cyborgs are a fusion of man and machine, and apparently if we make the inorganic components those of a motorcycle, we’ve got ourselves a Motaur…word play intentional.
The Progressive commercial plays off of the close linkage between a biker and their machine, and the Motaur (played by Terrence Terrell) is literally fused to his, although in conversation with bikers he reveals that he sometimes wishes for legs with his machine components on top. “For those who love to ride, there’s Progressive,” we are told by the announcer, leaving us to wonder if an ailing Motaur sees a physician or a mechanic…and how many miles per gallon does he get?!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anomalies, biomechanical, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, Questionably creepy, television, twisted reality
Tags: Progressive's Motaur
Comments: 5 Comments
June 9, 2019
In our most recent Chantix commercial, we get to venture inside of the Turkey’s home, and it’s an immaculate, spacious place…certainly nicer than my den! Now it’s cold inside his home, symbolic of the old “cold turkey” approach to smoking cessation, so the turkey turns off his window air conditioner, and dons a colorful sweater vest…this is the “slow turkey” method, after all…
Our feathered friend does all kinds of things at home, like tending to his aquarium, moving some sea shell souvenirs, mixing up what appears to be lemonade, and getting his flip-flops out of the closet. I really don’t know how they will fit on his turkey feet, but he somehow managed to wear hiking boots when we saw him camping. Yes, it would appear that our boy may be planning a visit to the beach! I envy him…
Perhaps our next episode will be subtitled, Bird at the Beach, or perhaps more simply, Living With A Turkey. I’m sure that’s a title that many of us could identify with! Here are a few other suggested segments:
– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Beach Blanket Bingo!”
– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Fowl Play!”
– – “The Chantix Turkey Meets Rocket Raccoon!”
– – “The Chantix Turkey in “Feathered Fiends!”
– – “Turkey in the White House!” (- -nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
(…the possibilities are unlimited, folks!)
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, the plant kingdom, twisted reality
Tags: Chantix turkey, Chantix Turkey in Cold Turkey
Comments: 7 Comments
June 3, 2019
Most of the great ones are here…the most iconic Geico spokesmen, that is, in a recent commercial set in their makeup trailer! We briefly see the Gecko, the squirrels, the sloth, the Caveman (“Let’s do the eyebrows first”), and the contest winner, Kathleen. But where is the Camel, it’s asked?
“Mr. Big Shot’s got his own trailer,” bitterly answers the Caveman, and we cut to that location, where we see the Camel in the lap of luxury, receiving the ministrations of two makeup artists while he sips on a lemonade and Alonzo Vasquez’s Rollout tune pumps. Even Joe Camel of cigarette fame never had it this good! – – Ahh, being Number One has its privileges!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Best of Geico commercial, Geico's camel in makeup
Comments: 7 Comments
June 1, 2019
It’s good to see The Slowskys again, especially with Bill Jr. growing up so fast! Parents Bill and Karolyn continue to live life in the slow lane, loving drip coffee, lay-overs, and being put on hold; heck, they even get snail mail, delivered by an authentic snail! With today’s posting comes the message that they’ve been invited to a Y2K party, to which Bill Jr. quips, “Wasn’t that like 20 years ago?”
“Oh look, Karolyn, we’ve got a mathematician on our hands,” grouses the father turtle in the Xfinity commercial.- – Ahh, the impetuousness of youth! Young Bill Jr. is a modern, with-it kinda reptile, however, sporting his headphones and backwards-turned ball cap and tapping away on his Xfinity powered cell phone. This is a turtle of today’s generation who’s on the move, and headed to the future…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: The Slowskys snail mail
Comments: 2 Comments
May 2, 2019
Our Sierra Trading Post commercial begins with two chubby squirrels with human faces sitting on a rock presumably in a park, one of them holding a nut, and city skyscrapers visible in the background. Two human joggers go past them, and they pause to admire their outfits, which it’s speculated were bought at Sierra. The male squirrel remarks that he used to jog, and the female chortles, “You never jogged!” The male persists that he did, but had to stop when his Uncle Scruff apparently had a less than favorable encounter with a vehicle. “I’m going to go across the street today,” ventures the male. They both scream in a shrill fashion…
“Scruff had no sense of direction,” remarks the female squirrel. ” Too soon!,” replies the male. Epic brands…vast selection…Teeny-tiny prices, like our squirrels…Sierra! RIP, Uncle Scruff…
(tip o’ the pen to Cary Comic for alerting me to this one!)
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Sierra Trading Post Squirrels
Comments: 4 Comments
April 22, 2019
Watching a commercial of the Chantix turkey camping, I wonder if the vest that he’s wearing is goose down filled, and if so whether the wearing of it isn’t some kind of crime against birds in general. Don’t get me wrong, he does look good in it, kind of like an avian Eddie Bauer. One almost expects to see Elmer Fudd emerge from those woods in the background in his ludicrous hunting outfit, toting a long gun and announcing, “I’m hunting wabbit…but you’ll do!” Then in my crossover fantasy, previous Chantix spokesman Ray Liotta emerges from those same woods, engaging Elmer in a firefight since one corporate spokesman might reasonably be expected to defend another. Ray would easily win the fight, having played tough guys in Mafia-inspired films. Elmer is hardly known as being a marksman…
Other questions lurk, too…since the Chantix turkey represents the slow turkey approach to smoking cessation, might we someday expect to see his cousin, cold turkey? That bird might be imagined as being cold to the point of chattering, and to have really jittery nerves. As we view the Chantix turkey hiking in the woods, we’re sorry that he’s mute. Perhaps in the future he could be given a voice, even singing the Happy Wanderer song as he hikes. With just a little refinement, this turkey could really take off. He even cooks over a campfire, and I’d toast marshmallows with him..we’re all forest friends here!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials
Tags: Chantix turkey camping
Comments: 9 Comments
March 29, 2019
I had thought that last November’s KFC commercial featuring a Colonel Sanders impersonator dancing with a human-sized bottle of Mrs. Butterworth syrup was a once-and-done thing, but in a companion piece commercial airing currently, the Colonel is back, complete with a misty, bedroom-eyes type expression as he meets Mrs. Butterworth in a marble hallway while a Celine Dion ballad plays. I know that they say “the South shall rise again,” but this is ridiculous!
Mrs. Butterworth appears to make the first move as the impossible couple stare into each other’s faces and the Colonel caresses her molded plastic cheek, probably thinking of all the syrupy goodness contained within…then the couple lean towards one another as a preliminary to a kiss which thankfully, we don’t get to see!
I don’t know what will happen next, and frankly prefer not to go there. Some things are best left to the imagination, and I cringe to think of a Sanders/Butterworth union. Perhaps in the aftermath, however, a horror writer could pen an installment called Children of the Syrup. It would not be suitable for children or sensitive individuals, and viewer discretion is advised…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, humor, television, twisted reality
Tags: Colonel Sanders and Mrs.Butterworth, The Most Delicious Union
Comments: 8 Comments
March 26, 2019
In a hokey but charmingly surreal commercial, Johnsonville Jeff is eating his breakfast sausage out in the deep woods when he is approached by a talking raccoon asking about his meal. In the shorter version of the ad, Jeff also interacts with a wolf and a turkey, whereas the longer version additionally adds a squirrel and a porcupine. Most notably the wolf asks the man in the longer version where he learned how to talk to animals. “Books,” replies Jeff in a deadpan fashion, as if there was really nothing remarkable about the encounter; he’s kind of like Dr. Doolittle in hunting garb. They all have a good laugh together at the end, with the wild turkey practically loosing control of himself…
Johnsonville Sausage incorporates employee input in all phases of their operation, including this commercial which was conceived and is starred in by an actual long-term company employee. Since without the animal presence this commercial would consist of ho-hum talk about sausage, we’ll listen to anything if an animal presents it!
Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Johnsonville forest animals, Johnsonville Jeff and Forest Friends
Comments: 1 Comment
March 18, 2019
For many years now, insurance companies like Geico and Progressive have been producing clever and memorable commercials to tout and lure us to their services. Arriving a bit late to the commercial fray, Liberty Mutual has now produced commercials that incorporate an animal representative in the rather unlikely character of an emu…
These ads invoke the “buddy cop” series of the 1970’s, exemplified by such shows as Starsky and Hutch; Robert Blake’s series Beretta even included a cockatoo as Beretta’s companion.
In the Liberty Mutual commercials, the bird becomes even more of an active partner, riding shotgun with his human partner Doug while wearing aviator sunglasses! Called the LiMu Emu, this bird rocks, although in the Reflections ad he does have a bit of a problem interacting with his own image in a window glass, showing those bobbing, weaving, and pecking behaviors that birds sometimes manifest when confronted with reflections that they consider to be another bird. Partner Doug explains that the LiMu Emu spends so much time time interacting with humans on insurance customization that he doesn’t know quite how to respond to another bird, but that he’ll “figure it out.”
Now I know how to distinguish my own reflection, but do confess to a weakness with distractions posed by shiny things. At any rate, we can rely on the new dynamic duo of the LiMu Emu and Doug, and as Beretta might have reminded us, “Keep your eye on the sparrow…”
Categories: advertising, animal elements, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Liberty Mutual emu, LiMu Emu
Comments: 5 Comments
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