Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category

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Hail the Mighty Thor!

May 10, 2011

 – – There’s something strangely cool about dressing up in Viking gear and then going to dine in a fine restaurant or attending the opening of Thor so attired;  besides, who am I to judge, since I am, after all, a furry…whatever floats your boat!

Anyways, the Norse Hollywood Dining Vikings did exactly that, attending a screening of the movie in Glendale, California in a variety of chain mail and horned helmet regalia.  They usually do a restaurant gig, but a little change kinda keeps things fresh, and besides, what could be more appropriate?  Tony Swatton, de facto leader of the Dining Vikings, is a master blacksmith who designs custom-made weapons, armor, and props for television and film, including Thor.

So what if they look like they just made a Capital One credit card commercial?–I say may their cup of mead be always full!

Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, humor, movies, strange, strange happenings, weird
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Comments: 2 Comments

Advance Auto Parts Speed Training…

May 6, 2011

 – – Failure is not an option for those participating in Advance Auto Parts Speed Training, at least not if you value your backside!  Imagine sprinting briskly across the African plain while hoisting a muffler to your shoulder…no picnic that, but it gets worse when you’re wearing a meat suit of raw steaks around your waist, and being pursued by a pack of at least five lions very interested in a luncheon!  That ought to get the employees to beat feet!  The performance of the guy first depicted is apparently at least adequate; he lives to draw salary another day, and earns a “not bad” comment from his boss waiting to pick him up in a jeep.  We are not shown the fate of the girl who follows next, a garland of meat around her neck…hope she ran track and field!

In a related commercial, we are shown battery installations practiced while free-falling from a plane; it’s almost as brutal as the performance reviews I used to undergo.   One suspects that Advance has a really interesting retirement plan…


Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 4 Comments

Goldfish Racing…

April 24, 2011

 – – Not to be confused with cat juggling, dwarf bowling, or submarine races, goldfish racing is one of those strange pseudo-sports activities that bars seem to be host to, alcohol making such things just that much more amusing.

In goldfish racing, cheap “feeder”-type goldfish normally sold to be fed to other pets are guided and encouraged by bar patrons to swim down water troughs the length and general width of plastic gutters with bottles and water guns.  This practice has brought complaints from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, who contend that the loud noises and bright lights used during the practice scare the bejesus out of the fish.  In addition, some fish have reportedly been impaled with soda straws or even swallowed alive by the same notorious bar patrons.

PETA’s protests have caused one Tacoma, Washington bar to cancel its weekly goldfish races, while other similar establishments are still having fish start their engines…

Categories: absurdities, animal rights, animals, deplorable practices, scalies, strange happenings, things humans do
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Comments: 3 Comments

Ram-bo and Gum Gimmicks…

March 21, 2011

– – Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in the Aliens series forever set the bar high for me on what a strong, take-charge woman should be, someone who can hold her own with space marines and even prevail against a ferocious mother alien in mortal combat.  None too shabby either is a young female we are treated to in the latest Stride Spark gum commercial who when charged by a ram, wrestles the sucker to the ground, and uses the power of oomph to intimidate and deter him from additional aggression.

Now we’ve seen ram-tactics successfully employed before by shadowy gum agents, those frightening secret operatives determined to retrieve the long-lasting gum from users in order to compel them to buy more gum; commercialism ain’t pretty.   In an earlier spot for Stride,  a ram is successfully deployed to strike a poor male chewer crossing a street, causing the gum to fly out of his mouth where it can be retrieved.  These same secret operatives are not above using wrestlers or even German ethnic dancers to achieve their objectives.   Probably in the future, the History Channel will link them to Freemasonry or some dark alien agenda.

I fear the gum agents and their unspeakable objectives, and like the truth, I know that they are out there…

Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
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Comments: 2 Comments

DIRECTV Mini Giraffe Commercials…

March 16, 2011

– – He looks, sounds,  and acts like a James Bond villain, and I guess not all Russians have suffered since the breakup of the former Soviet Union;  at least one, Epic Win, lives in opulence that would put the Czars to shame, surrounds himself with beautiful young women, has associates who lift massive weights apparently made of gold, and in what I am most interested in, has an affectionate mini giraffe as a pet, one who even has his own treadmill in the latest commercial!

The aptly-named Russian was previously seen in a DIRECTV commercial pictured here named, Opulence, I Has It. While some people have actually posed the question,  there are no giraffes in reality of that size, with even newborn giraffes being much larger.  The wonderful creature pictured in the commercial moves very convincingly, and would presumably be the product of genetic engineering, which our fabulously wealthy Russian with all of those gold bars could indulge in…

…and check out the wealth of detail in the commercials as well; in the original, the obscenely-wealthy Russian has a Van Gogh, and poker-playing dogs appear briefly in the background (one is cheating)!   But  for one of the females to lift a tray of gold bars as if they were light as feathers is perhaps a reminder that we’re seeing an entertaining fantasy…

…Mini giraffes?–I wants it!

Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, strange, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

Geico “Cats and Dogs” Commercial…

March 14, 2011

– – In a wonderful nod to the classic car chase from the movie Bullitt as well as 1970’s detective shows (think “Starsky and Hutch”), the latest Geico “Cats and Dogs” commercial asks whether Geico can save you 15% with actor Mike McGlone answering himself,  “Do dogs chase cats?” Then we’re treated to an old-school car pursuit with a furry twist…

Cool at the wheel of an early 1970’s Mustang is an orange tabby (Jax the cat),  who doesn’t appear overly concerned about a hot pursuit by a boxer (Drake the dog) in a beat-up gas guzzler through mean city streets.  There’s even a  funky jazz fusion soundtrack to accompany the chase sequence!

While we’re not  shown the outcome of the chase, we do get a cool undercarriage shot as one of the cars vaults a rise in the road.   My money’s on the feline wheelman, who needs fear no boxer for torque art with him…


Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
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Comments: 5 Comments

Wrecking Bunny Ad…

February 4, 2011

We all know that it’s important to use the right tool for the right job, and H&R Block illustrates this fact in a recent commercial by showing us a demolition crew trying to take  down a brick building with a 16-foot-tall pink and white bunny…predictably, it doesn’t go too well.  Clearly, a plush bunny is not good for demolition, even a really big one.

In the “wrecking bunny” ad, people gathered at a demolition site “ooh” and “ahh” as the bunny is raised by a crane and swung toward the building.  There’s a muffled thump as the bunny impacts with the unyielding brick, crews wince, and spectators plod away with dejected looks on their faces as they realize that the plushy is not going to take the building out.

It’s an absurdist type thing, but I wind up feeling vaguely sorry for the bunny, wondering if they’re going to keep bashing him into the wall until his poor stuffing pops out; the plushy doesn’t seem to mind, however, and maintains his slight smile…what a trooper!- -Is this abuse of a plushy?- -Can’t someone rescue him?!  He just needs a good, loving home, admittedly one with a lot of space.

Perhaps in the future we’ll see other inappropriate tools used on the wall, like an enormous marshmallow or a gigantic cream-filled donut!

Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, plushies, strange, strange happenings
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Comments: 2 Comments

Fur Wars…

January 29, 2011

– – Even the Dark Lord of the Sith is no match for the Power of the Fur!


Categories: absurdities, animals, movies
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Comments: 2 Comments

Happy, Happy!

January 1, 2011

– – My mother used to eat pickled herring on New Year’s Eve, possibly thinking that if she did that, nothing worse would happen to her in the upcoming year.– -But whatever your tradition, may your 2011 be a healthy and happy year!

Categories: absurdities, humor, Off-topic
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Comments: 5 Comments

Warped and Wonderful!

December 4, 2010

– – If you enjoy the unexpectedly weird, you might like Regular Show, an offbeat cartoon on The Cartoon Network about a blue jay called Mordecai and a hyperactive raccoon named Rigby who work as groundskeepers at a large park, spending much of their time and effort avoiding work and seeking to entertain themselves.  They are essentially slacker-type twenty-somethings bossed by a living gumball machine who have a Yeti coworker.

In spite of these and other surreal characters, the Regular Show while bizarre is a kid’s animated series written for adults, and it works!

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, furry, television
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Comments: 1 Comment

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