Ram-bo and Gum Gimmicks…

– – Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in the Aliens series forever set the bar high for me on what a strong, take-charge woman should be, someone who can hold her own with space marines and even prevail against a ferocious mother alien in mortal combat.  None too shabby either is a young female we are treated to in the latest Stride Spark gum commercial who when charged by a ram, wrestles the sucker to the ground, and uses the power of oomph to intimidate and deter him from additional aggression.

Now we’ve seen ram-tactics successfully employed before by shadowy gum agents, those frightening secret operatives determined to retrieve the long-lasting gum from users in order to compel them to buy more gum; commercialism ain’t pretty.   In an earlier spot for Stride,  a ram is successfully deployed to strike a poor male chewer crossing a street, causing the gum to fly out of his mouth where it can be retrieved.  These same secret operatives are not above using wrestlers or even German ethnic dancers to achieve their objectives.   Probably in the future, the History Channel will link them to Freemasonry or some dark alien agenda.

I fear the gum agents and their unspeakable objectives, and like the truth, I know that they are out there…

Explore posts in the same categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television

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2 Comments on “Ram-bo and Gum Gimmicks…”

  1. carycomic Says:

    Oh, please! There’s no such thing as free masonry.*

    *The bill I got for my brick barbecue pit is proof of that!


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