Archive for July 2009

Unidentified Flying Humanoids!

July 30, 2009

UnidentifiedLook!–Up in the sky!–Is it a bird?–Is it a plane?–Is Sarah Palin killing wolves from aircraft?–No, it’s an unidentified flying humanoid, and they’ve been reported since the days of the early indigenous people of Mexico thousands of years ago.  Ancient petroglyphs from Mexico indicate having seen an aerial presence, although the stylized nature of the petroglyphs makes identification difficult.   Today, witnesses in North America tell of human-like creatures that float or hover in the skies and at times descend to attack; one cop shared such an attack experience.

MonsterQuest examined a shaky, poor resolution video taken in June 2005 of something seen over Mexico City; a law enforcement video analyst found that the video hadn’t been faked, and couldn’t be explained.  A 2004 video taken in Santa Monica, California suggested a flying humanoid about 7 feet in height and 3 to 4 feet wide.  It was described as being bulky and slate gray in color.  Speculations were that some sightings could be misidentified balloon clusters, although balloons  tend to sway or bob.  Eerily, witnesses described a feeling that the flying humanoids seemed aware of their presence!  A justifiable criticism of the episode is that MonsterQuest completely ignored the most likely explanation for the “flying humanoids;” namely, that they were indeed humans wearing  jet packs, an existing technology that has been around now for decades.–Remember the old black-and-white Rocketman serials?!

Humanoid corpseMore intriguing was the corpse of a immature creature (left) captured in 2007 and now mummified, but reported to have been alive and aggressive when captured; the connection was that perhaps this was an infantile form of a flying humanoid, some kind of previously-unknown species. Described as appearing between a rat and a monkey, this small corpse was at first thought to have been that of a skinned monkey, although it was later found to have rudimentary skin, fangs, and semi-human features including a double arch which is thought to have given the creature the capacity to stand.  Large eye orbits in the remains suggest that the beast had good vision.  A piece of the creature’s tail was taken for DNA analysis, and it was found to contain no identifiable material! In other words, they’re not sure what it is!   The creature appeared primate-like in appearance.

This Terror from the Sky episode was at least an improvement over the rather dreary and mundane wild dogs or rats episodes that MonsterQuest has aired in recent times…

The Nose Knows!

July 30, 2009

michael-jacksons-nose-missing-when-he-died— There is a matter of considerable importance of which you must be made aware:  Michael Jackson’s nose is MISSING!!!

Or so reports The Rolling Stone. You’re probably aware that decades of plastic surgery had destroyed Michael Jackson’s nose; he had to wear a prosthesis instead, with claims of a false nose supported by a former housekeeper to Jackson.  A witness who supposedly saw Michael’s body as it lay on the autopsy table in the morgue reportedly noted that said prosthetic nose was missing from the singer’s surgically mangled face, leaving behind a small, dark hole surrounded by bits of cartilage…Ewww!– As if removal of part of his brain hadn’t been enough…

The Michael Jackson saga keeps on getting more bizarre just as his doctor is the target of a manslaughter probe into the singer’s death.  The question remains of the nose’s whereabouts. — Someone out there knows of the nose! I would suggest that we round up the usual suspects. — Let’s visit underworld bars and begin hurting people!  One of them must know something…

What Cats Know…

July 29, 2009

Rorschach

If you like complex comic book heroes and dark story lines, you just might enjoy Watchmen, now available for purchase or rental.  Set in an alternate reality circa 1985 that’s teetering on the brink of nuclear war, Watchmen covers the exploits of half a dozen flawed superheroes as they investigate the murder of one of their number and uncover a sinister plot threatening the world.

While the avian-themed Nite Owl appears to be the only quasi-furry character in the movie, for me the heart and soul of the flick is Rorschach. Looking like some 1940’s gumshoe detective in a trench coat and a fedora, Rorschach also sports an enigmatic mask on which play constantly-changing inkblot images that give the character his name.  Rorschach also has the best dialogue in the flick, lines like:

“Felt dark planet turn under my feet and know what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.”

(…from the journal of Rorschach as seen in the movie, Watchmen…)

While a sociopath as “crazy as a snake’s armpit,” Rorschach makes disturbing sense at times,  has a kind of tragic nobility to him, and is exceedingly tough and cool.  When locked up in a prison with fifty or so criminals he placed there, Rorschach re-frames the situation to consider the cons as locked up with him, not he with them…he is the alpha predator there, and he proves it!

Watchmen also features Ozymandias, the world’s smartest human, with his intriguing animal companion, lynx. There is also the blue-skinned Dr. Manhattan, yet another physicist given awesome powers to manipulate matter as a result of a terrible accident.   Nearly-omnipotent, Dr. Manhattan  spends much of the movie fully-exposed in the nude…(when you’re omnipotent, you can dress pretty much any darn way you want!)

The movie also has a wonderful historical perspective, going back to 1940 or so to chronicle the early history of these superheroes and their parents; you’ll even catch glimpses of President Kennedy and the legendary second gunman who assassinated him, and view Watchmen fighting on the American side in Vietnam.  There’s a Mothman in this group as well, but he’s not the cryptid and winds up in an asylum, possibly due to a cheesy costume.

You’ll probably either love or hate Watchmen, but I fell into the former group…guess I’m learning what cats know…





Hugs and Skritches…

July 28, 2009

379animal_avatar75—I appreciate you, my loyal, intelligent, and off-beat readers!–As of July 27th, we’ve had over 40,000 hits on this blog, reaching up to 769  hits on a single day!Foxsylvania has been listed as a growing blog and on lists of “better blogs” (whatever they are), and it’s all because of you!

When I started Foxsylvania and was getting three to seven hits a day, I almost packed it in…sure am  glad now that I didn’t!  Hope you’ll forgive me now if I indulge in something that we furry types do in moments of extremity every now and then…<GROUP HUG!!!–AARGH!!!>

‘Scuse me, I lost my mind for a minute…I’m sure I’m gonna be sore after that one, but it’s a good hurt, right?– All I wanted to say is, thank y’all for reading…and I’ll keep doing whatever it is I’m doing here if you keep on reading…Why be normal?!

…alrighty then, carry on, and try to look busy!

Chain Saw vs. Mountain Lion!

July 27, 2009

images— In an incident reported July 17th, a Colorado man used an 18″ chainsaw to successfully fight off a mountain lion that attacked him during a camping trip with his wife and two toddlers in northwest Wyoming!  The adult male lion was described as being emaciated and showing other signs of starvation when he pounced on the man, an ex-Marine…Semper Fi, Dude!

The camper met the lion head-on with his chainsaw running, inflicting a six- to eight-inch gash on the lion’s shoulder and suffering only a small puncture  wound on his forearm.  Knowing when it was outmatched, the lion ceased the attack.

The mountain lion was later killed by wildlife officials after it attacked a dog brought in to track it.  Rabies tests were negative on the mountain lion, although other diseases have not been ruled out and starvation seems likely to have contributed to his unusual behavior…

(…chainsaws:  good  for cutting wood and predators down to size!   And remember…when chainsaws are outlawed, only outlaws will have chainsaws!  <fires up a big Stihl chainsaw…BRAPPP!>  Bring it on, baby, yeah!)



Something Fishy Goin’ On?

July 25, 2009

Aquaman— Believe it or not, there appears to be a live-action Aquaman movie in the works, with the star yet undecided!  Aquaman has come a long way since his rather insipid portrayal as a whale-summoner in old ‘toon shows like SuperFriends; more recent incarnations have portrayed a superhero with an edge;  buff, wounded, and with some anger issues. The poor guy was one of the few without a secret identity; he was always Aquaman, 24/7!

Movies are also being planned for The Green Arrow, and even a Bizarro (Superman) flick! –And get this:  they’re trying to convince Cher to play Catwoman! She always did strike me as having feline qualities…

…it’s a great time to be alive, right?  😉

“In Search of the Real Cujo”

July 24, 2009

feral dogs— MonsterQuest seems to be straining a bit to come up with new material, and the new season opener was not a strong muchless a dazzling entry; we all know that there are feral dogs out there, some abandoned pets, others wild for generations.

The problem is a real and serious one, however, with significant wild dog populations reported in Detroit, Toledo, East St. Louis, and other cities in the midwest. Large packs of territorial predators prowl the streets, often disease-ridden and aggressive. This is not a breed-specific issue but rather one of human mismanagement; yep, ole homo sap botches things again!

In 2005, a map of canine DNA was established.  MonsterQuest drew blood from some feral dogs that they succeeded in caging, and found genetic traces of Pit Bull, German Shepherd, and Rotweiler lineage, as well as more remote traces of other breeds; mixing the genes of more aggressive breeds with feral dogs yields potentially undesirable behavioral traits.  MonsterQuest also used a camera on a collar or “collar-cam” to monitor the daily location and activities of wild dogs, finding that the packs tend to hang in wooded areas as well as abandoned homes; again, no great surprises.

As urban decay accelerates in the troubled economy and people flee the cities, the problems posed by feral dog packs are increasing.  An attack by a wild dog occurs nationally once every 40 seconds, some resulting in deaths…

Taco Bell Chihuahua Dies!

July 23, 2009

taco-bell-240— Jeez,  you  can hardly turn around these days without another beloved celebrity passing away…and so once again we mourn the passing of one of the truly great furry ones, Gidget, the former Taco Bell chihuahua, who died of a stroke Tuesday night at the age of 15.

Yes, Gidget was really a female playing a male dog who was voiced by Argentine-American actor Carlos Alazraqui!  The commercials featuring the chihuahua haven’t aired in nine years, essentially killed by a rash of political correctness.  In their peak in the late 1990’s, the canine actress traveled by limo and went first-class in planes.  Following her retirement, Gidget is said to have lived “like a queen.”

The hugely-popular commercials which immortalized the phrase, “Yo quiero Taco Bell” drew the ire of Hispanic watchdog groups which claimed that it promoted stereotypes, and demanded that the commercials be taken off the air.  I, for one, never saw the chihuahua as being anything but hip and cool, an articulate and bright furry spokescanine that could be appreciated on a variety of levels.

In one late commercial of the series lampooning a variety of fast-food spokesmen, I’ll always remember the chihuahua driving up in a tank, and saying, “Hey, look what I found!”  Rest in peace, Gidget…you were among the best!

Longest Eclipse!

July 22, 2009

eclipse— If you missed today’s solar eclipse that was visible across much of Asia, tough luck; there won’t be a longer one until 2132!  In parts of Asia, today’s eclipse lasted as long as 6 minutes and 39 seconds, the longest since July 11th, 1991; it will not be equaled again in this century.

A solar eclipse is a celestial event historically met with a mixture of awe, excitement, and fear; in Hindu mythology, an eclipse is caused when a dragon-demon swallows the sun.   More than one soon-to-be-boiled missionary in hack writing has been saved by conjuring up knowledge of an impending eclipse to intimidate a primitive native population…

Foxes in Detroit!

July 21, 2009

Detroit–My people are moving on in…to Detroit, that is.  That’s right, the Motor City!  ‘Ya see, Detroit had a population of 1.8 million hyoomans in 1950, and it’s down to 900,000 now.  With the big economic meltdown and GM goin’ belly-up, Detroit has an unemployment rate of 23%.  Bad for hyoomans, good for us foxies; we’re movin’ in, ‘ya see.  We figure we just might be able to do somethin’ wid da place…

…you can find my people now in untended lots, houses, and buildings.  Seek us in your weed-filled lots and in the shadows of long-abandoned factories.  The riverfront is good for us.  We kinda like it here, and plan on stayin’ indefinitely if the hunting is good and we can raise our young.

…of course, we just might re-tool your factories a bit to grind out lots and lots of Volkswagen Foxes, making improvements on the old design as we go.  The combination of German engineering and vulpine  stealth and cleverness just might make us ready to move into your other cities, too…the liberation just might be at hand, perhaps in 2012…Ahahahahaha!