– – Although I never cease to be amazed at the things which offend some people and cause them to go on the warpath, cute, cuddly Geico spokesman Maxwell the pig seems an unlikely target. He’s sweet, innocent, resourceful, and just trying to make his way in the world like the rest of us.
Nonetheless, this unlikely target has at least in some of his commercials drawn the ire of certain far right groups, including the conservative group One Million Moms, which reports having received numerous complaints over such ads as the one depicting Maxwell parked in a car on a date with a girl. The female in question appears, shall we say, to wish to advance their relationship to the next level. Maxwell, the hip but at times clueless innocent, occupies himself instead with a phone app game of “Fruit Ninja.” Not amused, the One Million Moms group sees the commercial as promoting bestiality, termed it repulsive and unnecessary, and wished to see it pulled from airing immediately.
Puh-leeze! While there’s some innuendo going on in the commercial, it’s light-hearted, and so ridiculous as to be more absurd than shocking. Humor when devoid of any satirical content fast becomes bland and meaningless. One might also argue that Maxwell in unintentionally or otherwise blocking his date’s advances has substituted a more “wholesome” activity, yet we do not see conservative watchdog groups marketing Maxwell chastity rings. The group in question also objected on similar grounds to a Skittles commercial featuring a girl and a walrus.
To paraphrase an old popular song, all we are saying…is give pigs a chance! And some people need to find better things to occupy their time as well…
– – The Monsters and Mysteries in America series on the Destination America channel has proven to be a substitute for those of us who miss such shows as MonsterQuest, and featured a segment on the Flathead Lake Monster, a cryptic creature reported to be living deep within Flathead Lake in the state of Montana in the United States. The life form is said to resemble the Loch Ness Monster, with reported sightings dating back to at least 1889. At that time, a steamboat operating on the lake spotted a “log” which later turned out to be a “whale-like” creature as they approached it. With a mentality common then as now, a passenger fired at the creature which wisely disappeared.
– – Hellhounds as profiled on Syfy’s “Haunted Highway” show in a 2012 episode are supposedly the spirits of vicious dogs that were once abused by miners in the El Dorado Canyon in Nevada; attributed to be horse-high and razor-fanged, they were sought by investigators Jack Osbourne and Dana Workman in the vicinity of the abandoned Knob Hill mine. 
– – I love the notion of accursed artifacts, articles from antiquity bearing some kind of spell, curse, or enchantment. Because of this, I think it’s totally cool that an ancient Egyptian statuette in the Manchester Museum in Great Britain is rotating seemingly on its own, and sensibly away from visiting tourists! This ten-inch high statue, an offering to Osiris the ancient Egyptian God of Death, dates back to about 1800 BC, and has been in the museum’s collection for about 80 years.
– – A new Terminix campaign visually supersizes termites and other household pests, making them visually repellent and a disgusting joy to watch. Rather than the small and largely unseen insects that termites actually are, these are giant, horrific hell-beasts that look fully capable of eating your house and probably anyone inside it as well. They are delivered to viewers complete with eerie horror-movie sounds and sinister voiceovers; Syfy original movie monsters should be half this good! One almost expects to see Ellen Ripley and a squadron of space marines appear to dispatch these loathsome and dangerous beasties, getting slaughtered in the process…the termites even have circular buzz-saw type jaws within jaws!
– – While we’re certainly not in the business of promoting alcoholic beverages here, the Red Stag Breakaway commercial for Jim Beam bourbon is a dazzling display of a stag on steroids. The big red guy begins his dramatic run in a residential neighborhood, then takes a turn into the city…and talk about burning up the pavement! A trail of flame initially follows the stag and cobblestones crumble beneath his mighty hooves as the stag charges ahead, literally running up walls and on the side of buildings to reach his final lofty height. It’s kind of like The Flash on four legs; what a rush with this scarlet speedster!
– – Hipster Maxwell the pig may have hail damage to his baby blue VW Cabriolet, but he’s so slick that he speedily gets an appointment through his Geico app with an insurance adjuster, and as fellow hail damage sufferer Ted struggles on hold with his insurance company, Maxwell even has time to steal Ted’s girlfriend away, and go boating with her! “Later, Ted!,” chortles the nameless fickle girl. –What is it with pigs, anyhow, that makes them “chick magnets?” Perhaps because they’re both farm animals…
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– – Camels haven’t figured in commercials much since the days of tobacco pitchman Joe Camel, who was, it must be admitted, extremely cool. Now at last we have an anthropomorphic camel figuring in a Geico commercial, who parades around an office interrupting and distracting workers by happily asking them what day it is. The answer to the dromedary’s query is that it’s Wednesday, also known as hump day. Our two amiable musical hosts then appear, one asking us how happy people are that save hundreds of dollars on car insurance; the answer is that they’re happier than a camel on Wednesday…
FOXSYLVANIA 
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