Roadkill Raps in Bosch Commercial!

Posted December 24, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, bizarre, furry, furry commercials, furry horror, strange, television
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It’s Michael Jackson’s Thriller meets the British show Mongrels in a dark and bizarre commercial spot for Bosch’s Icon wiper blades sponsored by the Humane Society called, “Don’t Be A Roadkill Car.”  

A quintet of road-slaughtered animals brings home the message that better wiper blades by facilitating your vision might have prevented their gruesome demise.  Meet Frank the Squirrel, who peels his flattened and protesting self off the road surface to demonstrate a still impressive set of vocal chords.  He is joined by Buck the Deer, Francesca Fox, Streetz the Skunk, and a tire-marked rabbit.  I found Francesca especially compelling in how she could extend up her severed head in her own paws.  They’ve all clearly seen much better days, but are doing their best undead service for Bosch blades and animal preservation.  It’s a gutsy commercial, literally and figuratively…

The commercial/public service announcement pushes the envelope, and is likely to shock if not revolt some viewers; their performance and their singing will, however, likely stick in your head!  As a year-round fan of Halloween and horror, these singing furry zombies with a message furnished me with a perfect antidote for the Xmas merchandising we’ve been relentlessly exposed to since October…I’d buy their album!

 

Comments: 2 Comments

Geico “Peter Pan” Commercial…

Posted November 23, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anomalies, television
Tags: ,

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By almost anyone’s standard, Peter Pan was rather a strange little dude.  His was a case of arrested development in that he was perpetually a fresh-faced boy who never aged beyond later childhood.  He hung out with a fairy called “Tinkerbelle,” was leader of a group of “lost boys,” and even boasted powers of flight.  As if that didn’t appear to violate laws of man and nature, Peter Pan’s mortal enemy was a pirate captain whose one hand had been lost to a crocodile and replaced with a hook.

You can imagine that the appearance of such a sprite at a reunion of the Class of 1965 would be likely to prove interesting, and a study in contrasts.  So it does in a recent Geico commercial where the forever young Peter Pan tells his classmates that they don’t look a day over 70, and hovers above the gathering, providing entertainment by singing the Sinatra standard, “You Make Me Feel So Young.”

What would make the commercial complete would be if the iconic Progressive insurance agent “Flo” appeared in the role of “Wendy,” the young mother-surrogate to Peter and the “Lost Boys.”  That would make the surreal commercial become even stranger fast as she tried to nag Peter to return to “Neverland,” perhaps appearing as “Tinkerbelle” as well…

Comments: 8 Comments

Honda Pioneer 1000 “It Exists” Ad…

Posted November 8, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, furry commercials, television, unidentified
Tags: ,

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 The Honda commercial begins with a breathtaking, pristine mountain wilderness. Then we hear the narrating voice of a young male, and see who we think the speaker is, moving along briskly in a Honda off-road vehicle…

“At first I thought I was just seeing things,” the youth relates. “But no, it was out there. Something was definitely out there. Whatever it is, it was big…and at one point I swear, we got so close that I could smell it.”

The scene then changes to…surprise!…a family of Bigfoot individuals, two adults and a juvenile who has been our narrator all along. With hand gestures and facial expressions, the juvenile Bigfoot continues; “But then, poof! It was gone!”

“Right,” says Bigfoot Dad with obvious sarcastic skepticism. The Bigfoot parents clearly don’t believe in such nonsense any more than many humans believe in Bigfoot. – – What has junior been smoking?!  It’s all a neat reversal, and these Bigfoot are not just grunting brutes. Turn-about, so they say, is fair play…

Comments: 2 Comments

Redd’s Wicked Apple Halloween Commercial!

Posted October 31, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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Halloween is a wonderful time to let your inner furry self out, and a Redd’s Wicked Apple Halloween commercial shows us a werewolf with his date about to be served a Bloody Mary at the bartender’s recommended “perfect temperature of 98.6.” From above then falls a can of Wicked Apple Ale. Refusing the Bloody Mary, the werewolf seizes the gift from on high, and tells the bartender, “Nah dawg, I’m good!, ” walking away with the brew.

There’s some fine touches in this brief commercial, such as the mounted human head on the wall.  “This party is dead,” declares the bartender, adding “I love it!” So do I, dawg…and a Happy Howloween to all of you!

Comments: 5 Comments

Maaco “Uh-Oh” Deer Commercial…

Posted October 18, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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It’s every motorist’s worst nightmare…an after-dark close encounter with a deer!  As the driver successfully brakes to a full halt just short of a front end impact and rejoices in his luck at avoiding this close call, the buck cops an attitude, and lowers his impressive rack to deliberately scratch up the dude’s bumper.  Yes, Bambi Bumps Bumper might be a subtitle…

…Uh oh!  Better get Maaco (auto body repair, that is)!  The out-takes on this commercial, viewable on Utube and elsewhere, are hilarious.  In one, you can see the head of the human posed in front of the car bumper to manipulate the phony deer head and antlers that you see in the close-ups…

Comments: 6 Comments

“Jersey Devil” Sighting!

Posted October 12, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, cryptozoology, furry, unexplained, unidentified
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The Jersey Devil is perhaps one of the strangest cryptic creatures commonly talked about, and one with a rich backstory.  Said to be the unwanted and accursed child of a witch who lived in the 1700’s, Mother Leeds, the creature is described as having hooves, a goat’s or horse’s head, bat wings, and a forked tail.  A Little Egg Harbor Township resident, Dave Black, recently snapped a picture of an unidentified life form while driving on Route 9 in Galloway, New Jersey.

Originally the observer thought that he was seeing a llama until the creature “spread out leathery wings and flew over the golf course.”  The observer took a picture, and describes what he saw as being a “large, flying mammal about the size of a deer.”  The photo appears to show something with dark brown fur, wings on its back, and cloven feet.  A video taken by a woman named Emily at about the same time also reportedly shows a reddish animal with a long neck and horns…delightful fare for this Halloween season!

Comments: 2 Comments

Yelp’s “Deer in Headlights” Commercial…

Posted September 27, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: , ,

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In rural parts of Pennsylvania, hitting a deer on the road is a very real possibility at this time of year.  They’re in rut, you see, and the herds are stirred up as the big guys try to get lucky.  Poor Charlie and his wife have just had such an encounter, and they need to find a good body shop fast!  We are shown their car ramped up on the rear of the deer-driven vehicle, an antlered buck behind the wheel.

“”You just came out of nowhere!,” contests the woman driving to the buck. The deer makes agitated noises and flails around. “Calm down!,” urges the woman. “No one shot your mother,” she presents in a Bambi reference. The deer vocalizes and thrashes around some more, apparently saying something uncomplimentary about the human driver and raising the ire of her husband, who is ready to take on the buck and is becoming verbally abusive himself.

Fortunately, a Yelp representative is there to recommend a five star body shop, and it’s suggested that the deer and humans all go in there together. They are then shown standing in front of said establishment, although the buck remains mouthy and the human male combative.  – – Why can’t we all just get along?!

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Comments: 4 Comments

Follow Your Instincts!

Posted September 20, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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It’s so hard to find a tasty and healthy snack on the African savanna!  Two lionesses in a Fiber One commercial would kill for something sweet, and are considering the available offerings. – – Flamingos? – – Nah, they’d have to eat about thirty of them.  One offers to split a hippopotamus with the other; too fat, also unacceptable.  The hippo appears to harrumph in surprise or indignation.

Fortunately, we humans don’t have to face such quandaries, with Fiber One providing sweet and healthy snacks at only 90 calories.  You don’t have to hunt and kill ’em, either…

 

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Comments: 1 Comment

Starbucks “Workhorse” Commercial…

Posted September 15, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

 

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Poor Elliot!  Although he’s in harness at work, it’s his co-worker Ned who gets noticed by their female boss, and called “a real workhorse.” When  Elliot spins around, neighs, and shakes his magnificent mane, his unappreciative boss only orders him back to work.  Typical office favoritism and partiality; sounds like this boss is a real nag!

It looks like Starbucks in this commercial is telling us that even an actual workhorse is no match for someone with a double shot coffee or such down the hatch.  Living on excessively high doses of caffeine, however, is no horse laugh, even if they do work you like one…been there, done that!

Comments: 3 Comments

Tums Hot Dog Campsite Attack!

Posted September 7, 2015 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, strange, television
Tags: ,

 

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They bay at the moon, and attack your campsite in a pack, like wolves…the creepy, four-limbed, human sized hot dogs in a recent Tums commercial, that is! Brandishing a burning stick in one hand and his Tums package like a cross before a vampire, our intrepid camper is able to drive the marauding processed meats off.  Such is life in the Twilight Zone of the food chain…(shudders)

Be afraid, be very afraid…Tums has lately alarmed us with tales of assaultive meat foods that have included chicken wings, a nightmarish headless barbecued chicken, sky-diving meatballs, and what appeared to be a very angry corned beef sandwich.  It’s enough to make me want to add additional countermeasures to my existing zombie defense network…

Comments: 2 Comments

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