The Rogue Team Rises: Part 2

Posted April 18, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, controversial, speculation, television, weird

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As Part 1 of the confusing and muddied Rogue Team episode ended, team members Buck, Huck, and Jeff were roughly thrown into a van by the Rogue Team, winding up in Part 2 (S5/Ep2) in an interrogation room in a cabin deep in the woods.  Things became surreal when the masked head of a figure became visible through a window in that room, ordering the boys to capture “The Woman of the Woods,” a witch-like figure last encountered in Lee City, VA.  In return for doing this, the captor promised to deliver the identity of those who had killed “the Stonish Giant,” a Bigfoot variant.  When their captor had left, a boot knife was produced by which the trio freed themselves.  Buck threw a chair through the window where their host had appeared and found a decapitated hog’s head on a stake…eww!

Reunited with Willy and Wild Bill, the team went to team leader Trapper’ s house, and found it ransacked.  In a secure safe was found a note and cell phone video from Trapper, detailing that he was going by invitation to a cabin of the Rogue Team; GPS coordinates were found.  Going to this location the team failed to find Trapper, but rammed around the neighboring roads a bit until they found his truck.  Also finding blood in the area, police were summoned.  With a canine unit brought in, the trail led to another cabin where a bloodied Trapper was found inside.  The blood stemmed from a reopened surgical wound rather than foul play.  On the walls of the cabin were pictures of the AIMS team illustrating things that they had missed in their investigations.

Going back to the cabin where three of them had been held captive (pictured above), the gross hog’s head was examined, and coordinates were found secured in a shotgun casing found in the hog’s mouth; so glad that I wasn’t eating for this segment!  The coordinates were to a location in “The Dark Forest,” with team researcher Jeff sharing that he had gone alone to the Dark Forest, but didn’t know how he had arrived there: presumably the “Woman of the Woods ” was influencing Jeff from a prior encounter.

And what is to be found in “The Dark Forest?”- – Why, that’s where “The Black Wolf” lives, a creature to be revealed in an upcoming episode called, “Secrets of the Dark Forest.” – – Are you not entertained?!

“Mountain Monsters; The Rogue Team Rises, Part I”

Posted April 9, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: cryptozoology, television

Tags: ,

 

I’m not crazy about reviewing episodes of the Mountain Monsters series, but having gotten over two thousand views of my old reviews the day that the new season opened, will bow to the undeniable popularity of the series and continue to chronicle it, at least for a time.  The season opener featured not a single monster hunt, but rather picked up with the mysterious rivalry between the two teams of Bigfoot chasers that increasingly dominated and closed the previous season.  The mood was kind of like a low budget Spy vs. Spy mystery rather than a serious or directed cryptozoology show, but if you have interest in this strange series, read on.  If you’re not a follower of the series, the following will make little sense and may best be skipped.

With that disclaimer, the fourth season left us with a number of unanswered questions; would the AIMS team members ever lose weight, visit a barber, or catch up with their arch-rivals, the Rogue Team? – – Well, after a nine month hiatus, Episode 1 of the fifth season found the AIMS team reconvening minus team member Buck, who Huckleberry located and then went with to locate the truck that poachers had used to destroy one of their traps in a previous episode.  The suspicion was that the poachers were in league with their nemesis, The Rogue Team. They eventually located the truck, which had been stolen a year previously, but was now back in possession of its rightful owner, who gave Buck and Huck the name of a farm where the poachers were believed to hang out.  

Going to the referred Miller farm, Huck and Buck were given directions to the poachers’ camp.  Jeff  had by then united with them, and called team leader Trapper, who wasn’t happy that Buck had acted independently.  Team members Willy and Wild Bill then united with their associates, and they located the camp of the poachers, who said that they were hired to tear down the trap of the AIMS team, but had no connection with the Rogue Team.  

The production crew team had caught an image of the Rogue Team vehicle, indicating that they were still being watched.  A message was received to meet the Rogue Team at designated coordinates, which they elected to do despite being unable to reach Trapper.  At an after-dark meeting, the Rogue Team appeared, wearing hooded jackets and halloween-type masks.  With Willy and Wild Bill watching from concealed positions at some distance, the team members who directly met with the Rogue Team representatives had their hands zip tied, hoods placed over their heads, and were hustled into a truck to be taken to an undisclosed location.  Part II to be aired in a week will presumably detail their fate, together with that of team member Trapper, whom previews suggest went off to a meeting with the Rogue Team independently…

Nigel the Wise Owl…

Posted March 28, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, avian, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television

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Owls have long held our respect and are associated with wisdom, and they are increasingly being used as advertising icons.  Their presence in the Harry Potter movies further spiked their popularity to the extent that some misguided people sought them as pets…bad idea, at least for most people!  

Recently used memorably to sell eyewear for one company, owls have now entered the rather competitive allergy medication OTC market.  Enter then Nigel the Xyzal Wise Owl, pictured above.  This feathered guy has class; in one spot, he’s shown in a library with books, wearing a natty jacket, a monocle, and speaking with a British accent! Clearly, this guy is no flyweight, and knows his stuff; he appears to have the right credentials.

With many allergy medications having transitioned from prescription to over-the-counter status, recruiting a feathered sage with the voice of authority like Nigel might help carve out a niche for another product…

Kong:  Skull Island

Posted March 15, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, famous furries, furry, furry film classics, movies

Tags: ,

Magnificent, isn’t he? – – And that’s as it should be, because it’s hard to imagine an imaginary creature with the history and pedigree of King Kong.  This is not a “monster,” but rather royalty…and from his cinematic origins in the 1930’s original, Kong has spawned a variety of movies, such as the 1976 and 2005 versions.  Nothing breeds imitation like success…

While we aren’t going back to the world of 1933 in this version, it’s set in the era of 1973, and is part King Kong reboot and part homage to such Vietnam era movies as Apocalypse Now and Platoon, complete with period cultural references.  The movie runs almost two hours, and we’re introduced to the big guy after about half an hour. Most of the human characters are two dimensional stereotypes and are basically monster chow, although such notables as John Goodman appear as a “tinfoil hat” crazy theorist. There’s lots of good mayhem, with Kong not only taking on humans but also a giant octopus and Huey gunships, one of which he spikes like a volleyball.  We visit also a gigantic water buffalo and enormous ants; Kong isn’t even the baddest creature to inhabit this lost world.

Kong:  Skull Island is also a launching pad for a “MonsterVerse” of additional but related movies which will include the re-emergence of Godzilla, and of course the inevitable battle royal between these two cinematic icons.  It should be a fun ride, and it’s playing now in theaters…

 

Hail, Caesar Salad!

Posted March 3, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, television

 

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— Don’t you just hate it when this happens to you?  You order soup at a restaurant, but get the Caesar salad instead, complete with Julius Caesar?!  

In a recent Geico commercial, we are treated to this very scene at a serene and nice looking Italian restaurant.  Four dinners are about to enjoy their repast, but there stands Julius Caesar on the table, complete in period costume. He’s a right proper Shakespearean, too, complete with passionate oratory about how cowards die many times before their deaths, but the valiant only taste of death once.

“Waiter, I ordered the soup!,” complains a proper-looking sweet old lady to the staff.  The waiter apologizes profusely, and then guides Caesar from the table.  I don’t blame the older lady for complaining.  I wouldn’t want Caesar’s sandal-clad foot near my salad either.–  Hygiene, please, how about it?!

So Caesar is led off, a fish out of water, or salad as the case may be.  This time his conversation centers about getting his parking ticket validated.  And as for valor, we foxes know that discretion is the greater part of it…

Churchill and the Aliens…

Posted February 16, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, controversial, discoveries, sci fi, science, space, speculation

Tags: , , ,

Now this is kinda cool, especially if you’re a bit of a history buff as many nerds like myself are.  The history and science fiction nexus gets thick at times over World War II, what with the insane speculation that Nazi Germany was scientifically advanced due to alien “assistance.”  So it really floats my boat to hear that a lost essay has been discovered by none less than Winston Churchill in which he supports the existence of alien life…

…I swear that I am not making this up!  The unpublished essay from 1939 by Churchill was discovered in of all places a Missouri museum to which the paper had been donated and then forgotten.  Now Winnie was a remarkable guy; a politician, statesman, writer, and even a friend of the sciences who while prime minister of England appointed a science adviser, and regularly met with scientists.  Radar was developed during his watch, and may have kept England afloat when the Nazis came calling.  Anyways, Churchill in this essay ponders the timeless question of alien life, and concludes that we are not alone

…remarkably, Churchill’s reasoning even from over seventy years ago mirrors scientific thought even today, proving that the cigar-smoker was both broad-minded and a man ahead of his time.  Churchill and Carl Sagan probably would have liked each other.  The best politicians are scientifically friendly; if only such could be said of Mr. Trump…

Deer Motorists…

Posted February 2, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animal behavior, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

Tags: ,

 

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It’s an all-too-familiar scenario; out driving late at night, when suddenly deer appear on the road, blundering into the way with negative consequences to both the deer and the vehicle.  Since turnabout is fair play, we are shown a reverse case safety promo where two deer are motoring when a clueless human walks onto the road, totally absorbed in his texting.  The deer are forced to brake sharply, and honk their horn.  The clueless human looks up from his texting, startled, and hastens to finish his transit across the road.  The deer couple look at one another, and shake their heads.  A moment later, a trio of texting humans perform the same stunt before the now-stopped vehicle. They often travel in groups, you know…

“Don’t text while on the road,” the public service announcer then intones.  “It’s bad for deer, and for humans”.  Some humans are every bit as self-absorbed, location inappropriate, and clueless as those portrayed, too…

Ram-Tough Vikings…

Posted January 29, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, television

Tags:

I like surreal and anachronistic humor, so commercials featuring the History Channel’s “Vikings” hawking Dodge Ram trucks are right up my alley.  In one commercial spot airing during the “Vikings” series, the burly warriors are hauling one of their longboats with a truck, the topper being that they are singing a variation of “The Wheels On The Bus” kiddie song classic lustily at the top of their lungs as they do so.  

Complete with their weapons and authentic period clothing, we are treated to several spirited choruses of the kid favorite by the Vikings, who probably would have been even more vexing to the Saxons on their raids of England had they driven pickup trucks onto the battlefields…



Lactaid “Balloons” Commercial…

Posted December 10, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television

Tags: ,

She’s baaack, and becoming a bit crude…the Lactaid “Annoying Milk” cow, that is!  Sitting in a respectable-looking kitchen with a woman, the Lactose Cow makes inquiry about how that lady’s cafe au lait is, and then sits there with inflated balloons (first red, then yellow) making flatulent noises.  After the first balloon is deflated, the Cow appears contrite, asks seriously how the woman’s coffee is, then produces another balloon, continues her show, and laughs maniacally! I guess we’ve got to expect this kind of thing, what with the Trump presidency looming and all…

but not to worry!  The very proper and demure Lactaid Cow appears, propels her ill-mannered sister roughly to the side, and launches into a subdued conversation with the woman about how that milk was really messing with her.  You see, Lactaid is real milk that won’t mess with you.  For entertainment value, however, I continue to prefer the Annoying Milk cow, who wears red lipstick and appears slightly demented but very capable of doing a manic stand-up comedy routine… no use crying over a little spilled milk, right?


Geico’s “C’mon, Try It!” Raccoons…

Posted November 20, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television

Tags: ,

Raccoons have kind of come into their own lately, and they’re a rather alluring and likable lot.  Rocket Raccoon in “Guardians of the Galaxy” was pretty awesome, and now Geico is treating us to a trio of articulate anthropomorphic ones who are dumpster diving at night.  

Whoa!  This is awful…try it!,” says one, encountering a repugnant morsel.

Oh no…that looks gross! – – What is it?,” responds a second.

You gotta try it.  It’s terrible!,” counters the first.

I don’t wanna try it if it’s terrible,” reasons the second.

It’s like mango, chutney, and burnt hair,” describes the first raccoon.

No thank you,” refuses the second.  “I have a very sensitive palate.”

Just try it!,” insists the first.

Guys, I think we should hurry up,” interjects the third raccoon.  A dog is heard barking…

“When you taste something bad, you want someone else to try it.  It’s what you do.”  Likewise when you want to save 15% or more on car insurance, going to Geico is what you do…

I can’t get this taste out of my mouth!,” complains the first raccoon.

Shhdog!,” warns his compatriot.  

(And when we last see the raccoon trio, they are ambling away across the pavement, repeating “Dog…dog…dog!)

They’ll never be food critics, but you gotta love these guys!