Hail, Caesar Salad!

Posted March 3, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, television

 

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— Don’t you just hate it when this happens to you?  You order soup at a restaurant, but get the Caesar salad instead, complete with Julius Caesar?!  

In a recent Geico commercial, we are treated to this very scene at a serene and nice looking Italian restaurant.  Four dinners are about to enjoy their repast, but there stands Julius Caesar on the table, complete in period costume. He’s a right proper Shakespearean, too, complete with passionate oratory about how cowards die many times before their deaths, but the valiant only taste of death once.

“Waiter, I ordered the soup!,” complains a proper-looking sweet old lady to the staff.  The waiter apologizes profusely, and then guides Caesar from the table.  I don’t blame the older lady for complaining.  I wouldn’t want Caesar’s sandal-clad foot near my salad either.–  Hygiene, please, how about it?!

So Caesar is led off, a fish out of water, or salad as the case may be.  This time his conversation centers about getting his parking ticket validated.  And as for valor, we foxes know that discretion is the greater part of it…

Churchill and the Aliens…

Posted February 16, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, controversial, discoveries, sci fi, science, space, speculation

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Now this is kinda cool, especially if you’re a bit of a history buff as many nerds like myself are.  The history and science fiction nexus gets thick at times over World War II, what with the insane speculation that Nazi Germany was scientifically advanced due to alien “assistance.”  So it really floats my boat to hear that a lost essay has been discovered by none less than Winston Churchill in which he supports the existence of alien life…

…I swear that I am not making this up!  The unpublished essay from 1939 by Churchill was discovered in of all places a Missouri museum to which the paper had been donated and then forgotten.  Now Winnie was a remarkable guy; a politician, statesman, writer, and even a friend of the sciences who while prime minister of England appointed a science adviser, and regularly met with scientists.  Radar was developed during his watch, and may have kept England afloat when the Nazis came calling.  Anyways, Churchill in this essay ponders the timeless question of alien life, and concludes that we are not alone

…remarkably, Churchill’s reasoning even from over seventy years ago mirrors scientific thought even today, proving that the cigar-smoker was both broad-minded and a man ahead of his time.  Churchill and Carl Sagan probably would have liked each other.  The best politicians are scientifically friendly; if only such could be said of Mr. Trump…

Deer Motorists…

Posted February 2, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animal behavior, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

Tags: ,

 

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It’s an all-too-familiar scenario; out driving late at night, when suddenly deer appear on the road, blundering into the way with negative consequences to both the deer and the vehicle.  Since turnabout is fair play, we are shown a reverse case safety promo where two deer are motoring when a clueless human walks onto the road, totally absorbed in his texting.  The deer are forced to brake sharply, and honk their horn.  The clueless human looks up from his texting, startled, and hastens to finish his transit across the road.  The deer couple look at one another, and shake their heads.  A moment later, a trio of texting humans perform the same stunt before the now-stopped vehicle. They often travel in groups, you know…

“Don’t text while on the road,” the public service announcer then intones.  “It’s bad for deer, and for humans”.  Some humans are every bit as self-absorbed, location inappropriate, and clueless as those portrayed, too…

Ram-Tough Vikings…

Posted January 29, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, television

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I like surreal and anachronistic humor, so commercials featuring the History Channel’s “Vikings” hawking Dodge Ram trucks are right up my alley.  In one commercial spot airing during the “Vikings” series, the burly warriors are hauling one of their longboats with a truck, the topper being that they are singing a variation of “The Wheels On The Bus” kiddie song classic lustily at the top of their lungs as they do so.  

Complete with their weapons and authentic period clothing, we are treated to several spirited choruses of the kid favorite by the Vikings, who probably would have been even more vexing to the Saxons on their raids of England had they driven pickup trucks onto the battlefields…



Lactaid “Balloons” Commercial…

Posted December 10, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television

Tags: ,

She’s baaack, and becoming a bit crude…the Lactaid “Annoying Milk” cow, that is!  Sitting in a respectable-looking kitchen with a woman, the Lactose Cow makes inquiry about how that lady’s cafe au lait is, and then sits there with inflated balloons (first red, then yellow) making flatulent noises.  After the first balloon is deflated, the Cow appears contrite, asks seriously how the woman’s coffee is, then produces another balloon, continues her show, and laughs maniacally! I guess we’ve got to expect this kind of thing, what with the Trump presidency looming and all…

but not to worry!  The very proper and demure Lactaid Cow appears, propels her ill-mannered sister roughly to the side, and launches into a subdued conversation with the woman about how that milk was really messing with her.  You see, Lactaid is real milk that won’t mess with you.  For entertainment value, however, I continue to prefer the Annoying Milk cow, who wears red lipstick and appears slightly demented but very capable of doing a manic stand-up comedy routine… no use crying over a little spilled milk, right?


Geico’s “C’mon, Try It!” Raccoons…

Posted November 20, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television

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Raccoons have kind of come into their own lately, and they’re a rather alluring and likable lot.  Rocket Raccoon in “Guardians of the Galaxy” was pretty awesome, and now Geico is treating us to a trio of articulate anthropomorphic ones who are dumpster diving at night.  

Whoa!  This is awful…try it!,” says one, encountering a repugnant morsel.

Oh no…that looks gross! – – What is it?,” responds a second.

You gotta try it.  It’s terrible!,” counters the first.

I don’t wanna try it if it’s terrible,” reasons the second.

It’s like mango, chutney, and burnt hair,” describes the first raccoon.

No thank you,” refuses the second.  “I have a very sensitive palate.”

Just try it!,” insists the first.

Guys, I think we should hurry up,” interjects the third raccoon.  A dog is heard barking…

“When you taste something bad, you want someone else to try it.  It’s what you do.”  Likewise when you want to save 15% or more on car insurance, going to Geico is what you do…

I can’t get this taste out of my mouth!,” complains the first raccoon.

Shhdog!,” warns his compatriot.  

(And when we last see the raccoon trio, they are ambling away across the pavement, repeating “Dog…dog…dog!)

They’ll never be food critics, but you gotta love these guys!

“Werewolves in America…”

Posted November 5, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, furry, speculation, television, Uncategorized, unexplained

Tags: , , ,

 

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A recent episode of Werewolves in America airing on the Destination America network covered several classic werewolf tales, most of which we’ve heard and seen packaged elsewhere.  The Beast of Bray Road in Wisconsin has been seen more than 100 times, with a flurry of sightings in 1989 of upright wolf creatures.  In fall of 1989, for example, a local bar manager when driving home saw an animal on the road holding road kill.  It locked eyes with her, and she barely got her car restarted in time to escape the creature.  Animals have been reported found suspiciously dead and dismembered by the creature.  A sanitation worker reporting a sighting in 2006 described the creature as standing about 7′ tall, and looking like a wolf on top of a bear’s body.  

Slidell, Louisiana features the Cajun Werewolf, perceived as a person who’s been cursed.  Such creatures may be set forth by the swamp as a warning.  In Chauvin, Louisiana a 13-year-old boy went hunting on All Saint’s Day despite admonitions not to, encountering what he described as a dog shaped in human form which chased him. Werewolves have also been reported in Montegut, Louisiana where they are also seen as cursed souls.

The town of Holly near Detroit, Michigan reports “the Man-Dog of Holly,” also known as the Michigan Dogman. Described as a spirit-based creature rather than one of flesh and blood, over 500 sightings of the Dogman have been reported, including one reported in 2005 by a repo man seeking out a vehicle late one night.

Whether sighted in the old or new world, werewolves and their legends continue to fascinate and intrigue us…

 

 

“Life After Life” on Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved

Posted October 20, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: controversial, psychology, television, unexplained

Tags: , ,

 

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In another “mystery” episode, S1/Ep13 of “Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved” touched on the near death experiences of three individuals.  

One case was that of 19-year-old Christine Stine in Germany who when broadsided by a truck wound up near death in a hospital emergency room. Her heart stopped, and she later reported perceiving herself to be hovering near the ceiling, observing the medical team frantically working on her body below. Following this she perceived herself to be walking barefoot in a brightly colored and friendly heavenly realm where she was greeted by grandparents whom she had previously only seen in photographs. She also met happy and healthy appearing acquaintances who had also passed on. Her grandparents then kind of guided her back to life, where she was reunited with her body and survived. The woman remained very convinced of the reality of her experiences.

A second case involved that of Dr. Eben Alexander, a Virginia neurologist. Suffering bacterial meningitis, he went into seizures and wound up in deep coma. With even his pupils non-reactive to light his survival seemed questionable, but after five days his consciousness returned, and he recounted first having disturbing afterlife experiences, then being in a better place.

A third case was that of Anita Moorjani, a woman in Hong Kong who suffered from Hodgekin’s Disease.  One day in February of 2006, she didn’t wake up and appeared lifeless although she reported later that her mind was churning.  During this interval, she experienced vivid memories of seeing the afterlife, where she met a deceased friend.  She later came out of her coma, but claimed awareness during the comatose state.  Tumors associated with her condition vanished after about three weeks.

Now end of life experiences are not well-researched, but a critical care physician named Dr. Chawla was profiled who noted that EEG spikes of two to three minutes duration occur after clinical death when the blood pressure drops to zero.  Near death experiences would appear to occur during this time.  About 20% of people who suffer cardiac arrest describe near death experiences (NDE’s).  Death is a process, not a moment in time, and it would appear that some electrical activity occurs in the heart and brain even after blood pressure drops to zero.  During this time, we may draw upon deep memories and cultural conditioning to determine what visions we see.  In that the three cases portrayed were convinced that they had a glimpse of life after death, near death experiences may have real life effects…

“Psychic Powers” on Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved

Posted October 10, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: controversial, speculation, television, unexplained

 

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An episode on psychic powers is not really something I expect to see on a show like Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved, but then again, the earlier episode on ghosts didn’t really seem to fit the mold well, either.  This S1/Ep12 installment again ran far afield, focusing on several psychics, two of which have reportedly used their abilities to advance police investigations.

Psychic Laurie McQuary believes that she gained her psychic abilities following a fall from a horse at the age of 18. She assisted police in Wheeler City, Oregon in 1994 on the “case of the missing cowboy.”  The man in question left his ranch on horseback and failed to return, although his horse did.  The psychic believed that the cowboy was murdered, and sure enough his gunshot body was later discovered.  Holding a fragment of the bullet retrieved, the psychic received impressions from it, and felt that the murderer was female.  The case, however, remained unsolved.

A second psychic, Nany Orlean Weber, was also profiled.  She assisted police in New Jersey in the case of a missing girl, and was reported to intuitively perceive facts about the case that police didn’t disclose to her.  This psychic felt that she was born with her psychic abilities, and reports receiving her insights in visions.

In Dunstable, England, Chris Robinson is called the “dream psychic” or “dream detective.” He reportedly has dreams that foretell the future, most notably about large scale disasters such as the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

Most interesting to me was a segment on the “Stargate” project during the Cold War, when 20 million dollars were spent in a government project over a period of 25 years investigating “remote viewing,” a phenomena where people not physically present were thought to extend their consciousness to other locations via astral projection to perceive what was going on there.  However, tests revealed that psychics were not successful in discerning concealed information any more often than simple chance would indicate.  The study was abandoned when it was determined that no useful information came from it, and no “psychic spies” have ever been fielded; your tax dollars at work, folks…

Although neuro-scientist and psychiatrist Diane Powell has found some similarities between the brainwave activities of psychics and epileptics, the scientific community in general has taken a dim view of psychic powers. Professor and psychologist Chris French, for example, notes that there is simply no good or convincing evidence of psychic abilities, although he wishes that there were, as such people would be handy to have around in some applications…

Of Blood Rain and Star Jelly…

Posted October 6, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, anomalies, controversial, environmental, mysteries, television, unexplained

Tags: , ,

 

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Every day, about 100 metric tons of material rains down on Earth’ s surface.  Episode 11 of Season 1 of Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved ventured into the sticky, perhaps revolting question of what exactly was “star jelly” and “blood rain.”  Please be advised that frog spawn will probably be discussed in the post, so if this offends or disgusts you, read no further.– You have been duly warned!

Now references to star jelly and blood rain date back to medieval times, with an account presented as far back as the year 1176.  Modern references are numerous; in November of 2001, for example, a gelatinous blob was found in Manchester, England that emanated a smell of rotten eggs, and dissolved when touched.  In 1950 in southern Philadelphia, two police officers saw a “dissolving UFO” that gave off a purplish glow, and inspired the 1958 Steve McQueen movie, “The Blob.

In Oakville, Washington in 1994, a gelatinous rain fell during a meteor shower that covered tree branches and made some individuals sick.  Two bacteria were found in samples tested by the Washington Dept. of Health that were capable of causing urinary tract infections and septicemia.  Conspiracy theories then blossomed as black planes and helicopters were later seen over the area. – –  Was Oakville chosen as a military test site? – – Was Fox Mulder summoned?  Alas, the remaining samples disappeared, and department scientists reported being told not to say anything about it.  Fortunately, an area resident kept a sample in her refrigerator (“Don’t eat the jelly, Honey!“), and it was taken to an independent lab that found bacteria present and a eukaryotic cell.  This sample then also disintegrated.

Now in India in 2001, a blood red rain fell to Earth, freaking out the residents.  Originally told that the rain was colored red by dust, it was later disclosed that the rain contained biological cells that strangely matched no known DNA.  The question was raised if these unknown cells were possibly of extraterrestrial origin.

Now Scotland has had numerous reports logged of luminous jelly falling from the sky.  Clarkson University specialist Dr. Langen feels that many of these samples are of terrestrial origin, did not fall from the sky, but are in reality…frog spawn (remember, you were warned)!  Langen exposed frog spawn to freezing and heating, and found that it could dehydrate and rehydrate in a manner similar to “star jelly.” Other creatures such as tardigrades can also survive extreme conditions of heat, cold, and even the vacuum of space.

The panspermia theory holds that life originated someplace other than Earth, and was seeded here by meteorites and comets.  While some scientists and researchers believe that Earth was “pollinated” by outer space, others do not.  At any rate, should you find any star jelly lying around, don’t eat it…you don’t know where it’s been!