Mummified Corpse Housing Wildlife…

Posted September 12, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: bizarre, Cabinet of Curiosities, environmental, events involving animals, strange
Tags: ,


Gentle readers, the following post falls into the category of morbidly fascinating grossness.  It may accordingly not be suitable for the young, the overly-sensitive, or those who are eating.  Please consider yourselves duly warned…

…now that I’ve peaked your interest, welcome to Vulpes’ Cabinet of Curiosities, ahahahaha!  As the eerie harpsichord music begins to play, let’s stroll to where a mummified human corpse was found hanging from a tree in a forest in southwestern Poland.  Said corpse was of the seasoned, vintage variety, with the deceased estimated to have been, well, hanging around for approximately 13 years.  The body was fairly intact due to its suspended elevation and the relative absence of scavengers there, plus the fact that it was clad in two pairs of trousers, which kind of held things together. 

Now in the thirteen years that our fellow had been kept hanging, his body had become home to bees, wasps, and even a squirrel! First discovered in 2016 and reported last month in the journal Forensic Science International, researchers said the discovery illustrates the “unbridled resourcefulness of wildlife,” namely that such creatures exploit even the most unlikely spaces to thrive.  “Human bodies, if they meet the requirements of organisms, can be a home for them,” noted study author Marcin Kadej from the Institute of Environmental Biology, University of Wroclaw, Poland, in a statement.

All of this begs the question, would you want your body to hang from the trees and be a home for the bees? – – No, I wouldn’t either…but join us for our next creepy crawl into the Cabinet of Curiosities, if you dare…

Comments: 2 Comments

The Grim Reaper of Home Appliances…

Posted September 8, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, horror, humor, strange, television
Tags: ,

I, for one, fear the Grim Reaper of home appliances. My grief was great when he came for my hot water heater, leaving me $800 in the hole for plumber bills and heater replacement. Death, there is thy sting, right in the wallet!  Oh, the suffering budget, the anguish, the gnashing of teeth!  It was not a pretty sight…

…and so I can appreciate the trials of the poor woman in the American Home Shield commercial who answers her door to find the Grim Reaper paying a call, the icon hovering complete in smoldering black cowl.  As the dreaded black specter advances, our housewife understandably freaks out.  “No, it can’t be!  I’m not ready!  I do spin class!,” she protests, sinking to her knees in supplication.  But the Reaper advances further, his bony finger extending to indicate that his target is not the woman herself, but rather her large stainless steel refrigerator/freezer!  Now understanding, the woman protests “What? The refrigerator! – – Oh come on!  Do you know how much it cost me?  You’re killing me!”  Then the lady decides to rephrase her unfortunate choice of words, but death is implacable.  As the refrigerator shakes in his otherworldly powers, the announcer tells us how all of our appliances will eventually die, but their plan will see to their replacement.  For good measure, the Reaper decides to take out our hapless lady’s home central air system too.  It was a full day’s harvesting, apparently…

When the Reaper comes for me, I’m going to say “Oh happy day!”  No wait…that’s what I’m going to tell the aliens…

 

Comments: 4 Comments

Giant Purple Blobs Invading SF Bay!

Posted September 7, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: aquatic, Invertebrates, noteworthy, strange
Tags: ,

Vintage science fiction movies cautioned us to “Watch the skies!,” but perhaps they better could have advised us to watch the seas, because you never know what’s gonna wash up.  Submitted for your approval is one such example, a large purple blob of the type that has washed ashore along California, even in San Francisco Bay.  

Sadly it’s not alien, but is only a harmless sea slug, measuring up to 30 inches long and weighing up to fifteen pounds, although most are about the size of a fist. Still living stranded specimens can even pulsate a bit, which led one observer to call 911, thinking that they had found a human heart.  They do have an internal organ-like quality to them.  Normally found off the Mexican coast and the Baja California coast, the large purple slugs are also called sea hares, because their extended antennae are thought to resemble rabbit ears.  They’re just not as cuddly and pet-worthy, but I’m showing a mammalian bias here…

…and isn’t Invasion of the Giant Purple Sea Hares a SyFy Channel movie that begs to be made?!

Comments: 2 Comments

Enormous Sea Turtle Washes Up In UK…

Posted August 27, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal occurrences, aquatic, rare animal
Tags: ,

Continuing our series on disgusting dead things washing up on beaches, we present you with this image of a large leatherback turtle that washed up off the shore of Cornwall, England.  I’ve spared viewers a more graphic view taken frontally in light of the, err, decomposition. The sea turtle was said to be the size of a small boat, and was estimated to be perhaps 100 years old in light of its size.  

One might well ask, “What happens to large sea creatures when they die?”  Well, many of them sink to the depths where they provide a banquet for a variety of sea life both large and small; nature wastes nothing. Gases of decomposition can provide buoyancy to other deceased sea creatures, however, depositing some on our beaches.  

Now the tabloids might spin the story differently, something along the lines of “Zombie Sea Turtle Attacks Britain!”  I don’t think that it was Gamera.  I doubt that the rather classy gent in the picture poked the poor deceased turtle with a stick, although he is wearing striking if sensible blue rubber gloves, all the while demonstrating that older guys can still look good in shorts.  And the elemental landscape and brooding sky makes for a memorable picture…ahh, to be in England!

Comments: 4 Comments

Sea Creature Washes Up On Russian Beach!

Posted August 17, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, aquatic, bizarre, creature features, furry, strange, unidentified
Tags: , ,

We always get terribly excited here at Foxsylvania when any kind of globster washes up on any beach, anywhere. Set up some food stands and a good band, and you’ve really got something to break up the summer doldrums!



…the “sea monster” in question is described as being smelly and hairy, and at least three times the size of an average human. It washed up on the shore of the Bering Sea on the Pacific side of the Kamchatka Peninsula; from Russia with Love, Darlink! Although the unidentified thing appears to be from an animal with gray and white coloring, it lacks a defined head or other body parts other than a possible tail or tentacle. The creature is covered with tubular hair, which is hollow and similar to that found on a polar bear.

Some have speculated that the carcass could be the remains of a wooly mammoth that had washed up as glaciers thawed, while others suggest that it could be from an octopus or giant squid. The most likely theory, however, is that the carcass is indeed a globster, a term coined in 1962 to describe something that is not a complete animal, but rather the decaying parts of sea animals such as whales or sharks. Under the influence of time, the sea, and post-mortem predation, the remains of large sea animals often take on bizarre and unrecognizable forms.

So if you visit a beach and come upon a globster, resist the temptation to make a sandwich. It wouldn’t be good for you…

Comments: 7 Comments

Mysterious Creature Stalks Canadian Moose?

Posted August 5, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, creature features, cryptozoology, furry, speculation, strange happenings, unexplained
Tags:


Here we go again…another sighting of an alleged unknown creature, this one supposedly stalking a moose!  The encounter occurred July 29th in Gaspesie in the Quebec area of Canada.  As usual, only a blurry, indistinct, out-of-focus image of the creature (circled) is available for perusal.  It is said to resemble Tolkien’s Gollum or perhaps the Rake.  The thing spotted was said to have moved in an inhuman fashion, shaped like a hunched-over demon and about six feet in height.

Skeptics say that the thing was most likely a splat on the window of the vehicle from which the picture was taken, and it simply appears superimposed from there by the treeline.  It is not known if the moose suffered any ill fate from the encounter.  I for one would be more excited if the moose had appeared accompanied by a flying squirrel named Rocky who wore aviator goggles…

Comments: 5 Comments

Kayak TV Commercial “Shark…”

Posted July 22, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, aquatic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags:

 

Imagine performing dentistry on a Great White Shark…now that’s a toothy business!  This shark is reclining on a dental chair, too, although there’s no need to tell him to open wide…his maw gapes enormously, and is full of razor-sharp teeth.  In the Kayak commercial, you can even see the shark’s tail moving slightly.  The attending dentist doesn’t appear too worried about his unusual client, however, just going about business as usual.  An observing guy in the background comments that the dentist appears confident.  A woman also in the background agrees, but adds that he doesn’t appear Kayak confident as she is, with Kayak having searched hundreds of sites for her to find the best flight.  It’s “search one and done,” you see…

Now being offbeat, I fantasize about crossover commercials.  Picture one featuring the Kayak shark, and the Aspen Dental dentist.  “You really should take better care of your teeth,” the Aspen Dentist might lecture the Kayak shark, who perhaps deliberately in spite ate a whole box of Oreos before visiting the dentist.  “Cancel the rest of my appointments for this afternoon!,” our Aspen guy might add before settling undaunted into the task of cleaning the hundreds of teeth before him. Dentistry soldiers on…our unsung heroes.

Or imagine Progressive Insurance’s agent Flo trying to sell insurance to the shark, who would only listen so long before snapping at Flo in frustration.  Cobra-like, Flo would whip safely away before chiding the shark that he didn’t have to snap her head off.  Flo has impressive survival skills, you see, enduring being marooned on a desert island with only a “name your own price” tool in a commercial that recalls a Tom Hanks film…

Comments: 5 Comments

Stormy Daniels as “Little Red Riding Hood…” 

Posted July 18, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: furry, furry classics, furry music
Tags:

Adult entertainer Stormy Daniels (linked with The Orange Man) recently appeared in my home state, donning her Little Red Riding Hood outfit for one of her sets.  I have included the least revealing image of this outfit that I could find because we do try to run a semi-respectable blog here.  I understand that the hood along with other things is lowered at some point further into the performance.  This is not to say that I don’t like to see the classics promoted, ahem!

But Ms. Daniels aside, the thoughts which filled my head when I heard of this performance were of Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs 1966 classic, Li’l Red Riding Hood.  This song never gets old for me, and I love to revisit it occasionally.  As late as the year 2000 Sam the Sham was still performing the number, and his howl remained in fine shape.  It’s hard to hear the song without resisting the temptation to howl, and I fall prey to that temptation easier than most.

No, I did not see Ms. Daniels’ interpretation of Little Red, although when asked about it someone who was there offered his opinion that the performance wasn’t worth $140,000…Owwwl!

 

 

Comments: 2 Comments

“Frozen Aisle” Aspen Dental Commercial…

Posted July 4, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, humor, strange, television
Tags: ,


While visions of Hell usually emphasize a hot, burning place, horror can be found in many locations, and the image of a dentist emerging from a freezer case to snatch someone back into its unspeakable depths suffices nicely.  Like this dentist, the emissaries of the netherworld can also be charmingly seductive…

Our Aspen Dental commercial begins with a woman and her self-absorbed hubby prowling the aisles of a generic supermarket while she complains about having to pay for her dental services, whether or not she’s happy with them. “There has to be an easier way,” mutters hubby, his eyes never leaving his paper.

Thus summoned, the dentist rolls out of the adjoining freezer case, complete with frost and icicles on his body and dental chair…chilling!  While the woman gawks and hubby continues to read his paper, the dentist from a frozen hell begins his spiel.  “If you’re looking for easy, look no further,” he advises as he tells the woman of Aspen’s money-back policy on dentures.  Next the woman is happily in the frosty dental chair; “That’s pretty easy!,” giggles the woman. “Easy said, easy done!” agrees the dentist as they are retracted back into the freezer case which closes. – –Abandon all hope,  ye who enter here?

Clueless hubby finally looks up from his paper, obviously totally unaware of where his wife is or what has just gone on.  I’m sure that those of us who are in or once were in a relationship can relate…

Comments: 4 Comments

Tim Burton’s “Dumbo” is Coming!

Posted June 21, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry film classics
Tags: , , ,


I’ve always loved Tim Burton’s work for his dark, twisted, and even macabre take on things.  When Burton joins with Disney, we tend to get a less saccharine and darker vision of a great story with surreal, frequently animal elements, and so Tim Burton’s upcoming 2019 version of the Disney classic Dumbo promises to be a real treat.

We had last seen Dumbo as a two dimensional cartoon image in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, and his upcoming outing will be as a far more realistic CGI elephant that is flawlessly integrated with a stellar live-action cast that includes such diverse talent as Michael Keaton and Danny DeVito.  And yes, the hauntingly sad lullaby Baby Mine from the 1940’s classic will be incorporated, so get those tissues ready for when mother elephant is chained up and separated from her baby…

The flying baby elephant with the endearingly enormous ears will be soaring across a big top circus tent in your neighborhood around March 2019.  He works for peanuts, after all…

 

 

Comments: 3 Comments

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