Archive for the ‘unexplained’ category

Idaho Bigfoot?

June 1, 2012

– – A group of high school students on a class project in the Idaho wilderness captured a dark, mysterious creature on a short video taken near Mink Creek before the unknown creature retreated into the treeline.  The student who captured the video described the thing sighted as “big and bulky and black,” but not as appearing human-like and not looking like a bear or moose.  The footage of course is blurred and out of focus…

The students also climbed to where they saw the potential Bigfoot and photographed large footprints that it left in the dirt.   The video footage and image of the large footprint was taken by a local news station to Sasquatch expert Jeff Meldrum at Idaho State University, who said the large, dark figure portrayed bears resemblance to descriptions of Sasquatch.  Anatomist Trent Stephens said that the beast resembled that seen in the 1967 classic Patterson film taken in California. 

The Animal Planet show “Finding Bigfoot” will visit Pocatello, Idaho next month to investigate claims that Bigfoot could be in the area…

Female Lycanthropes…

December 9, 2011

 – -Males tend to dominate the werewolf world, but accounts of female werewolves do exist and are noteworthy!  One such tale takes place in the Fichtel Mountains of Germany, where in the 18th century a local shepherd hired a hunter to kill a strange, huge wolf which had been devouring lambs in his flock…

…well, the marksman supposedly located and fired upon the creature, and although at least one hit the predator head on, the bullets had no apparent effect!  The plot thickened when the shepherd the next day observed an old woman long suspected of practicing witchcraft hobbling down the street as if wounded!  The shepherd deduced that the witchy woman was a female werewolf who would transmogrify herself into a large wolf at night to attack his sheep.  The shepherd reported the woman to local authorities who arrested her and chained her to the floor of a prison cell, Miranda rights being unknown in the 18th century.  The resourceful werewolf had vanished, however, when authorities went to question her the next day!

Two nights later, the shepherd was again out in the woods with the hunter looking for the shapeshifting witch when she obligingly sprung at them!  Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on whose side you’re on, the hunter had in his possession a silver knife with which he slashed at the poor lycanthrope,  causing her great pain and to writhe on the ground in agony where she morphed into the human form of the old witch, proof positive that she had been a female werewolf!

Since such things seldom end well for those of the furry persuasion, the wolfy witchy was buried 20 feet deep (“that oughta hold her!”) in a grave topped with what is now called the Wolfstone cross, erected in the hopes of sanctifying the location and containing the evil…

…but to this day, locals claim that eerie phenomena such as spectral lights are seen near that accursed site…ahahahahaha!

The Agony of Da Feet…

November 13, 2011

 – – This one’s a real stumper:  British Columbia has been plagued by, err, dismembered human feet washing ashore, most of them still clad in footwear including boots and running shoes!–No, they were not Bigfeet!  At least nine feet have been discovered in British Columbia since 2007,  all except the most recent found in saltwater.  The hokey-pokey seems to have gone terribly wrong…

Medical examiners believe that the feet separated from dead bodies due to natural causes, with explanations ranging from displaced “body farm” subjects to tsunami victims to pranks…but something strange sounds afoot, and someone should give those investigators a hand…ahahahahaha!

Another Ogopogo Sighting?

November 11, 2011

 – – There are large, blurry, out-of-focus monsters out there stalking the landscape!  One is Ogopogo, Canada’s version of the Loch Ness Monster, sightings of which have been reported since at least the 19th century by thousands.- -Well, a man visiting British Columbia’s Lake Okanagan has recently filmed a 30-second video which shows…gasp!…two long ripples in the water in a seemingly deserted area of the lake!  The man making the video notes that what was shown in the footage was not a wave but was of a darker color, and that it did not move parallel with the waves.

Now Ogopogo is most commonly described as a 40- to 50-foot-long sea serpent, sometimes seen with humps, which is believed to have its origins in legends of native Canadian Indian folklore.  The name “ogopogo” originates from a 1924 English music hall song called, “The Ogo-Pogo:  The Funny Fox Trot,” an apparent disparaging reference to my dancing ability. Despite a number of high-tech searches of  Lake Okanagan by submarines and other underwater gadgets, no evidence of Ogopogo has ever been found.   Lake Okanagan does, however, have tens of thousands of  submerged logs floating just under its surface, and most sightings are attributed to misidentified logs or common animals such as otters.  So color me skeptical, but the notion of a residential monster is extremely cool…

Invasion Imminent?

October 27, 2011

 – – I wish to inform you of this in order that you might make proper preparations; a giant LEGO man has washed up on a beach in southern Florida!  This is not just some kid’s toy lost in the surf; no, this sucker is eight feet tall!  I regard this to be the advance vanguard of a possible invasion force, and accordingly it is something to be taken at least as seriously as a zombie apocalypse.  And just look at the expression on his face; LEGO man knows something, but he ain’t talkin’…and I doubt that you’ll be able to get the truth out of him!

Even more alarming is the fact that several years back, another giant LEGO man washed up in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort…the same figure also appeared at a Brighton beach in the United Kingdom.  The Assistant Brand Relations Manager at LEGO has declined to comment, but did say that the “stunt” was “in no way endorsed or sponsored by the LEGO group or its affiliates.” 


Of course not!  The League of Nefarious Intent may be involved…

Mystery Roadkill!

August 24, 2011

 – – I, for one, can never get enough of mystery roadkill!  One such dead white mammal was found on a Douglas County road in Minnesota that boasts five claws, dark tufts of hair on its back and head, and long toenails.- -Well actually, it’s not boasting anything, such being one of the limitations of being dead…

While the head suggests a canine, the right front leg appears to have five toes, which is not typical for canines.  The long toenails are also not typical for an active canine.  While the creature is similar to a badger, the tail is much longer than usual for such.  Other guesses about the identity of the mystery carcass have ranged from a skunk to a wolverine to a wolf or, of course, the mythical chupacabra!   The usual rumors are also flying about secret government testing, without which I wouldn’t be here.

…while the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources has been unable to conclusively identify the carcass,  further testing is planned.  Meanwhile, guinea hens and cats in the area are missing, and burrowed holes from four to ten inches in size were spotted near where the animal was found.  The best guess on the identity of the deceased at this point is that it’s a badger with mangeor is it?!   Dramatic Fox

Waiter, There’s a Fly…

August 12, 2011

 – – People are forever finding flies and other repulsive foreign objects in their food, in some cases putting such objects in the food item themselves in the hopes of pursuing profitable litigation or at least getting a free meal.  I’ve found hair in restaurant food on numerous occasions.  Well, along these lines a woman in China recently bought some yogurt, ate half of it in the morning, and put the remainder in her refrigerator, returning that afternoon to consume the rest of it.  When the afternoon’s yogurt tasted funny, the woman spat it out to find…a dead fly!

 

We hope you weren’t eating, gentle readers.  Anyways, when the woman complained to the yogurt manufacturer, Bright Dairy & Food Co., company officials didn’t apologize or offer the customer a refund.  Rather, they asked her to autopsy the fly to make sure that it had gotten into the yogurt before she had opened it.  This rather put an end to the matter, as there aren’t many medical examiners offering fly autopsies.

Instances of food adulteration like this have given rise to use of the term mealbreaker to refer to a nasty, non-edible surprise found in food while it is being eaten.   Examples might include the bloody bandage reportedly found baked into a pizza, and of course the overalls found in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder…


Caddy, the Alaskan Nessie?

July 22, 2011

 – – There’s a monster in Alaska…and no, I do not speak of Sarah Palin!  I even dislike the term, “monster,” for its negative connotations.  But in the North Pacific a 2009 video captures a 20- to 30-foot long unknown creature.  The footage, black and white video, was taken by fishermen on a rainy day with (- -what else?) a shaky camera.  


One eyewitness, none less than Andy Hillstrand of the Deadliest Catch reality tv show, describes the creature as a “big, long white thing moving in the water.”  Spray came out of the creature’s head, and the fishermen chased it for twenty minutes.  Described as “definitely not a shark,” the cryptid was unlike anything that the men had seen before.  

This Nessie-like aquatic animal hails from the Cadboro Bay in British Columbia, and is accordingly called “Caddy” for short.  It is further described as having a long neck, a horse-like head, large eyes, and back bumps that stick out of the water.   No newcomer, reports of such a creature have circulated for 200 years.  In 1937, scientists thought that they might have uncovered physical evidence of  Caddy when what was thought to be a sea serpent was found inside the stomach of a whale. 


Alternative identities of the sightings have made mention of the Beluga whale, an oarfish, or a ribbon fish.  In any case, be wary of large, blurry monsters running rampant on the land and seas!  And would someone with a high-definition camera please get out there?!

Car Maulings in the Carolinas!

July 20, 2011

 – – Lizard Man is again running rampant in the Carolinas, and he’s rough on cars!  This bad boy has a nasty habit of biting, ripping, and pulling apart car fenders, hood ornaments, and radio antennas.- – Try calling bite marks in to your local insurance agent!

In an incident last week in a rural area of South Carolina, owners of a car discovered that their vehicle was riddled with what appeared to be teethmarks that went completely through the car’s fender.  Similar occurrences began in 1988 when a car mauling was reported, with the front fender on a car snapped in two and other pieces of chrome torn off.  Two years ago in a case similar to the original, a van was mauled by something biting through the metal and bending the fenders. 

A teenage eyewitness in 1988 reported an encounter with a creature about seven feet tall that had red eyes and three-fingered hands;  the young man came from a responsible, respectable family, and passed a polygraph test about the incident in which the scaly cryptid ran towards him following a tire change and jumped upon his moving car before being thrown off.   He has never changed his story…

Perhaps this car-biter is suffering from a serious deficiency of iron in his diet…and should we call in the Car Fox?

“Legend Quest” Coming on Syfy…

July 12, 2011

 – – For those of you interested in the kind of drek that I am, heaven help you…and you may want to give the upcoming Legend Quest series a look as it begins on the Syfy channel this July 13th at 10 P.M.  Billed as an action-adventure series, this Quest will follow Ashley Cowie, an archaeological explorer and expert in ancient symbols as he and his team travel the world in search of some of history’s greatest and most mysterious artifacts.  All of the elusive items are believed to hold hidden powers and mystical significance for ancient and modern cultures, and will include such items as King Arthur’s sword Excaliber and the Holy Grail.

Up first is a twin billing with the Ark of the Covenant and a Mayan Talking Cross featured…