Archive for the ‘twisted reality’ category
September 27, 2019
The Masked Singer is back for a second season on Fox, that show which plays like American Idol on psychotropic drugs. Contestants wear full body costumes head to toe which totally conceal their identity, and perform popular musical numbers for which they are judged over intervening weeks in an elimination contest. The show is hosted by Nick Cannon, and also features celebrity panelists including Robin Thicke and Dr. Ken Jeong. Shamelessly weird, the show also incorporates “security personnel” who dress like the Men in Black attired in black suits and ties and wearing sunglasses at all times. I’m OK with all of this, as I prefer my fantasy worlds to reality, anyways…weird is good, and works for me!
Episode 1 for the second season commenced with a contestant called Butterfly performing Bang, Bang in competition with Egg who performed Just Dance. The costume worn by Butterfly was suitably dazzling and iridescent, and coupled with a good set of pipes enabled her to emerge victorious over Egg, who was later unmasked to reveal Johnny Weir. In a second matchup, Thingamajig (don’t ask) performing I’m Easy defeated Skeleton who performed Rappers Delight. A third pairing pitted Ladybug who sang Holding Out for a Hero against Rottweiler, who won with Maneater performed against a chain link fence that also appropriately housed a fire hydrant, which thankfully he didn’t use during the performance. Rottweiler was my furry fave for the night, working with backup dancers who wore canine masks and featured a rather sensuous and lithe female worth howling over. This was one fine bitch, and I’m not using the word in the pejorative sense!
The final pairing was even more surreal, with a contestant Tree dressed as a Xmas Tree performing High Hopes and defeating Ice Cream who sang Old Town Road. Ice Cream was unmasked as Tyler “Ninja” Bleving following a second chance “smackdown” defeat by Ladybug, who appropriately won singing Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
With two insect costumes and only one identifiable mammal, I was a little disappointed although an upcoming episode features a feline performer and one of personal interest called Mr. Fox, who appears to have steampunk stylings. Until we see their performances, I’m putting my paws up for Rottweiler…he’s such a good boy, even if he does remind me of Homer Simpson in an episode of The Simpsons where he voiced Poochie the dog…
Categories: anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: Rottweiler on Masked Singer, Season 2, The Masked Singer
Comments: 3 Comments
August 18, 2019
(Advisory: some mature content)
AMC’s show Preacher is one of the most over-the-top shows on television, outrageous yet compelling, and definitely not for children, those easily offended, or squeamish about blood and violence. The series is complex and twisted, and so I won’t begin to attempt to explain it here; it even has Hitler and a likable vampire as recurring characters! At any rate, in the Deviant episode of the current season (Season 4, Episode 3), central character Jesse Custer enters DeSade’s House of Entertainment to rescue a child, and winds up fighting and prevailing against a small army within that included furries, people costumed as anthropomorphic animals.
The fight scene was extended, epic, and spectacular, beginning with fists and progressing from there to blunt objects, then knives, and finally guns. Preacher Jesse was victorious, of course, because it is after all, his show! I’m not quite comfortable with the portrayal of furries on the episode and I’ve seen far better fursuits, but it was all intended to be outrageous in keeping with the general tone of the series, which has previously given us the divinity in a Dalmatian suit…
Categories: anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, strange, television, twisted reality
Tags: Preacher "Deviant" episode
Comments: 4 Comments
July 27, 2019
Well, everybody’s heard about the bird…the Chantix turkey, that is! And while I’m aware that the turkey is paddleboarding rather than surfing, they missed a great chance to use 1963’s Surfin’ Bird by the Trashmen as the sound track for this commercial!
Now there was foreshadowing for this commercial in the last one when we saw the turkey getting out his flip-flops, knocking them together, arranging seashells, and looking at beach scenes on his phone. We shoulda seen this coming, folks. And as I’ve said before, this turkey has a better life than I do. He even returns from his beach visit in the coolest little convertible vehicle that suits him perfectly!
In my twisted mind, I can see Peter Griffin from Family Guy either getting into a dance-off or perhaps a fistfight with the turkey. And like Peter Griffin, “I dream of an America where everybody knows that the bird is the word.” Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, avian, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, feathered friends, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: Chantix Paddleboard Turkey, Family Guy, Peter Griffin, Surfin' Bird, The Trashmen
Comments: 4 Comments
July 10, 2019
The iconic KFC founder and spokesman Colonel Sanders has enjoyed a lively if bizarre post-mortem career, melding into Robocop, being portrayed by Reba McEntire, and even tripping the light fantastic with Mrs.Butterworth. Now the Colonel has morphed once again to be portrayed by Chester Cheetah, retaining the original’s trademark white suit, beard, and tie. Frankly, this spokes-cat wears the garb well!
And so it comes to pass that Cheetos mascot Chester Cheetah becomes Colonel Chester to mark the launch of a new Cheetos Sandwich, even skateboarding in his commercial outing. The popular anthropomorphic mascot is but the latest in a kind of rotating spokesperson concept for the franchise. Time will tell if he continues to be “dangerously cheesy…“
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, twisted reality
Tags: KFC's Colonel Chester
Comments: 9 Comments
July 4, 2019
This is truly bizarre; cool and creepy at the same time, like some fiendish device created by Skynet to work towards the extermination of the human race. We’ve all heard of Centaurs, those fusions of man and horse, and we know about Minotaurs, those hybrids of bull and man. Cyborgs are a fusion of man and machine, and apparently if we make the inorganic components those of a motorcycle, we’ve got ourselves a Motaur…word play intentional.
The Progressive commercial plays off of the close linkage between a biker and their machine, and the Motaur (played by Terrence Terrell) is literally fused to his, although in conversation with bikers he reveals that he sometimes wishes for legs with his machine components on top. “For those who love to ride, there’s Progressive,” we are told by the announcer, leaving us to wonder if an ailing Motaur sees a physician or a mechanic…and how many miles per gallon does he get?!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anomalies, biomechanical, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, Questionably creepy, television, twisted reality
Tags: Progressive's Motaur
Comments: 5 Comments
June 9, 2019
In our most recent Chantix commercial, we get to venture inside of the Turkey’s home, and it’s an immaculate, spacious place…certainly nicer than my den! Now it’s cold inside his home, symbolic of the old “cold turkey” approach to smoking cessation, so the turkey turns off his window air conditioner, and dons a colorful sweater vest…this is the “slow turkey” method, after all…
Our feathered friend does all kinds of things at home, like tending to his aquarium, moving some sea shell souvenirs, mixing up what appears to be lemonade, and getting his flip-flops out of the closet. I really don’t know how they will fit on his turkey feet, but he somehow managed to wear hiking boots when we saw him camping. Yes, it would appear that our boy may be planning a visit to the beach! I envy him…
Perhaps our next episode will be subtitled, Bird at the Beach, or perhaps more simply, Living With A Turkey. I’m sure that’s a title that many of us could identify with! Here are a few other suggested segments:
– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Beach Blanket Bingo!”
– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Fowl Play!”
– – “The Chantix Turkey Meets Rocket Raccoon!”
– – “The Chantix Turkey in “Feathered Fiends!”
– – “Turkey in the White House!” (- -nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
(…the possibilities are unlimited, folks!)
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, the plant kingdom, twisted reality
Tags: Chantix turkey, Chantix Turkey in Cold Turkey
Comments: 7 Comments
June 3, 2019
Most of the great ones are here…the most iconic Geico spokesmen, that is, in a recent commercial set in their makeup trailer! We briefly see the Gecko, the squirrels, the sloth, the Caveman (“Let’s do the eyebrows first”), and the contest winner, Kathleen. But where is the Camel, it’s asked?
“Mr. Big Shot’s got his own trailer,” bitterly answers the Caveman, and we cut to that location, where we see the Camel in the lap of luxury, receiving the ministrations of two makeup artists while he sips on a lemonade and Alonzo Vasquez’s Rollout tune pumps. Even Joe Camel of cigarette fame never had it this good! – – Ahh, being Number One has its privileges!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Best of Geico commercial, Geico's camel in makeup
Comments: 7 Comments
June 1, 2019
It’s good to see The Slowskys again, especially with Bill Jr. growing up so fast! Parents Bill and Karolyn continue to live life in the slow lane, loving drip coffee, lay-overs, and being put on hold; heck, they even get snail mail, delivered by an authentic snail! With today’s posting comes the message that they’ve been invited to a Y2K party, to which Bill Jr. quips, “Wasn’t that like 20 years ago?”
“Oh look, Karolyn, we’ve got a mathematician on our hands,” grouses the father turtle in the Xfinity commercial.- – Ahh, the impetuousness of youth! Young Bill Jr. is a modern, with-it kinda reptile, however, sporting his headphones and backwards-turned ball cap and tapping away on his Xfinity powered cell phone. This is a turtle of today’s generation who’s on the move, and headed to the future…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: The Slowskys snail mail
Comments: 2 Comments
May 24, 2019
I’ve often pondered whether I’d make a suitable henchman, since I have a dark side and would accordingly make a lousy sidekick for a hero. I have some unanswered questions, however, that would first need to be addressed. – – Does the job pay well?- – How about the benefits and the retirement plan? Are there stock options? I think that I’d like to work for Frank Gorshin’s The Riddler to feed off his manic energy, but I’d simply have to have a better set of duds than what his goons usually wear. Classic gangster henchmen have a good sense of fashion…
Like heroes, the best henchmen work alone, but in confrontations can never actually defeat the hero, or they threaten to usurp the villain’s status. This doesn’t mean that they can’t actually beat the snot out of the hero as did Oddjob to James Bond, at least until he figures out a way to defeat them. A henchman who defeats a hero has upgraded to the status of villain, which brings a whole new set of problems, including the recruitment of new henchmen, and all the labor relations issues that come with that. Heavy is the head that wears the crown…
Then there are those characters like the Seven Dwarves to Snow White who are neither sidekicks nor henchmen. They fall into the category of not otherwise specified (NOS) figures.
I guess that I’ll just continue to work alone, which seems most fitting to brood over the fate of a city, anyways…
Categories: iconic, strange, twisted reality
Tags: henchmen, sidekicks
Comments: 2 Comments
May 14, 2019
Things get stranger and stranger in the world of advertising, where weird means memorable which can equate to name recognition and subsequently business. Duncan the walrus is an unlikely representative of Geico insurance, but he certainly gets the job done, just as he completely fills the hockey goal, making it impossible for the opposing team to score in a recent Geico ad. Geico makes it easy to get help when you need it, you see, by having licensed agents available 24/7, and it’s not just Geico easy, it’s “having a walrus in the goal easy…”
Duncan is decked out in protective hockey gear, even though it’s ludicrously too small for him. We see in the commercial spot a hockey puck bounce off his shin guard, while a frustrated opposing team skater grouses that the walrus is “ridiculous.” The team coach off on the sidelines doesn’t think so, shouting “Way to go, Duncan!” as he throws the walrus a fish from a bucket that Duncan catches on the fly. The sidelined coach and team members then further show their appreciation of the goalie by making walrus sounds. Having had his fish and excitement, the walrus must then be admonished not to fall asleep on the ice. “Duncan, stay up! No sleepies!,” cries the coach in the closing.
One wonders if Duncan in his off hours doesn’t reflect upon the lyrics from the 1967 Beatles Magical Mystery Tour album, for he is the walrus…“goo goo j’goob.”
Categories: absurdities, advertising, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Duncan the walrus, Geico walrus goalie
Comments: 4 Comments
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