Archive for the ‘television’ category

We’re the Primitives…

April 30, 2010

– – British scientist Stephen Hawking in a new television series recently entertained the possibility that alien life may exist, but felt that contact with aliens could have devastating consequences.  “If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn’t turn out well for the Native Americans,” said Hawking in the series.

The program imagines a universe in which alien life forms in large spacecraft hunt for resources after draining their own planet of such, conquering and colonizing such planets as the can reach.  Perhaps if we were more fortunate, alien life might be observing a version of Star Trek’s “Prime Directive” in which indigenous life was not interfered with…

–Slacker Panda?

April 7, 2010

– – He’s a bit  of a slacker, but you gotta love the Wanchai Ferry panda featured in their commercials, even if he does seem to be a couch potato living off the human couple shown.- -Why not have Chinese food at home?- -He didn’t feel like going out, anyways!

While cute and a wonderful talking animal, it’s probably not a great idea to have a real panda wandering around your kitchen as they’re territorial and can be vicious…

Animal Ambassadors…

April 6, 2010

– – A furry-friendly commercial for GoRVing features several “Ambassadors of Affordability” that include a bison, bear, owl, rabbit, and fox.  While promoting RV vacations, they caper out to the tune of “Back in the Saddle Again” and verbalize. If you visit the website (www.gorving.com), you can click on each animal and hear a brief commentary.

Four such commercials are in the series, and  in one the bison and fox go on a romantic excursion and wind up toasting marshmallows under the stars.–The commercials are cute and well-done!

–Food Fight!

March 26, 2010

– – Now this is disturbing, not that the Burger King isn’t;   food which fights back as people attempt to eat it! The new Grey’s campaign for Tums features furious and funny food fights (– -Holy alliteration, Batman!) that are tamed only by the fast-acting antacid!  Talk about food coming back on you…

There are three spots, in one of which a spicy chicken wing whacks its would-be consumer repeatedly across the face, complete with kung fu movie sound effects!  The guy winds  up with his face liberally decorated with barbecue sauce…PETA would love this!   Another spot features tacos of terror…(of course, tacos and other foods have been known to come back for another round the next day!)

Tums, not surprisingly, takes the fight out of the pugilistic entrees.  (–Imagine a classic martial arts film on G4 or the like in which Bruce Lee enters a Kentucky Fried Chicken and challenges to take on any poultry wing in the place!- -Or perhaps,  Night of the Living Dead Shrimp!) This does, however, add new meaning to the warning to watch what you eat…be afraid, be very afraid!    😉

“America’s Wolfman” on MonsterQuest

March 25, 2010

– – The America’s Wolfman episode of MonsterQuest promised much but delivered little.   It was, at any rate, not another feral dogs or killer bees episode. Described as being a husky 7-7-1/2 feet tall with a large head, dark hair, and pointed ears, the American Wolfman seen in the midwest walks on his hind legs, has a foul odor, and uses his forepaws like hands.

Also known as the Michigan Dogman (similar but not to be confused with the Wisconsin Dogman),  the creature was supposedly revealed on the Gable Film acquired in 2006 with the backstory of having been originally made in the 1970’s and acquired at an estate sale.   The Gable Film was later revealed to be a hoax staged by a family.  A sequel, Gable 2, followed in 2008 and detailed a police investigation of the first film.

In its usual dutiful manner, MonsterQuest in this episode sent its team to the Manistee Forest area in Michigan where sightings have occurred, and camera traps were set revealing footage of deer and other animals suitable as a food source for a wolf and coyote population. Footprints were also found which were judged to be a member of the dog family, specifically a wolf.   Some experts regard the creature to be a misidentified timber wolf, or just an unusually big wolf…right!

Eyewitness accounts related included a fall of 1979 hunting encounter when a hunter discerned a large creature who moved when he did.  In another incident in 1987 in Michigan, claw and puncture marks as well as blood and slobber were found on a cabin with canine footprints in the area.  Other accounts are numerous, and date back to Native American folklore.

Does the Michigan Dogman exist?- -As the episode concluded, “Who’s to say?  It doesn’t want to be seen.” We’ve heard this all repeatedly before…

…but I still like the big guy!

Leprechauns on “Destination Truth”

March 19, 2010

– – Right on time for St. Paddy’s Day, Destination Truth opened its new season with episodes featuring paranormal activity at Masada and the possibility of leprechauns.

The Ghosts of Masada installment was handled far more seriously as befitted the historical occurrences at the site, and we won’t dwell on it here.  The attribution of sounds heard at the site to reverberations from the surrounding geography was logical, while the visual image captured of an apparent robed figure was striking, and not as readily explained.

When it came to the matter of leprechauns, Josh Gates and his team knew better than to take the matter seriously, and it was all done in good fun.  Downing a few pints at a local Irish pub in the name of “research” set the tone which continued with the presentation of a leprechaun “skeleton” at the pub (apparent chicken bones), and went so far as a spirited discussion on the components of Lucky Charms cereal.  There were also the bones extracted in the field which turned out to be those of a sheep.- –May all the saints preserve us!

Fun and games aside, the historical and cultural Celtic background of leprechauns was fascinating, and I prefer my leprechauns on the dark side rather than cutesy.  In earlier times, belief in fairies and woodland spirits paralleled current belief in UFO’s.

Sure wish we could find some leprechauns…competent cobblers are hard to find these days!  And we can always catch some Lucky Charms; they’re magically delicious!

The Sierra Nevada Sasquatch

March 18, 2010

– – In what may be the last episode of MonsterQuest ever, we were promised “aggressively territorial packs of Sasquatch,” and received, blobsquatch, a short,  low resolution May of 1991 video taken at Mono Lake that shows something east of the Sierra Nevada mountains.  Some contend that the creature depicted was a black bear, while others feel it was a genuine Bigfoot clone.  Enhancements of the footage revealed little in light of its poor quality, while whatever was depicted was calculated to be between six and eight feet high…

Perhaps more promising were the Jamie Avalos footprint casts suggesting smaller than average Sasquatch that may represent evidence of juvenile creatures; we all know how cute Sasquatch are at that age!  An adult Sasquatch print tends to run about 16″ long and show a flat foot.  MonsterQuest’s scientific team determined that the Sierra Nevada area (near the California-Nevada border) could support a group of large primates.

Lastly, there were the eyewitness reports, including a hunter who saw multiple creatures in 2005, and a motorist who had an encounter in 2006.  Such eyewitnesses appear credible, even if a bit shell-shocked.

If this is the last episode of MonsterQuest ever*, they have gone out with a whimper rather than a bang, and even Dr. Meldrum may not be enough to save the series.  At least we still have Destination Truth and possibly similar shows to come…

…and as for the Sasquatch, as one expert concluded on MonsterQuest, “They don’t want to  interact with human beings; if they do, they’ll let you know.”

(* I’ve since learned that another new episode of MonsterQuest is coming…America’s Wolfman, March 24th!)

Sock Monkey Mania!

March 16, 2010

– – Sock monkeys seem to be going through a renaissance lately.  I’ve always found sock monkeys vaguely unnerving, and I’m not sure that I entirely trust them, feeling that there’s more to them than meets the eye.  This impression has been heightened for me by the Kia Sorento “Joyride” commercial featuring a life-sized sock monkey together with his equally-unlikely companions that include a robot, a teddy bear, a knobby orange thing called “Muno,” and “Mr. X.”

Well, no good can come from this unholy alliance, and the strange crew goes on a road trip that includes stops at a bowling alley, a mountainside hot tub, a tattoo parlor, and even Las Vegas where they gamble and show off a few dance moves; what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas, often for good reason.

But suddenly, we flash back to reality, where the characters in this surreal little drama turn out to be toys in the back seat of a Sorento!  It’s kinda like A Toy Story on acid, or maybe a rejected Twilight Zone episode…

…and I’m still uneasy about sock monkeys!   Perhaps it’s because he’s shown driving the car, although from what I’ve seen some cars might be better driven by a sock monkey…at least he’s not texting!     😉

Billy the Exterminator!

March 13, 2010

– – You may not want to watch this show while eating, especially when he’s grappling with cockroaches, but otherwise Billy the Exterminator on the A & E network is a hoot!

Now Louisiana has lots of critters needing removal, and Billy together with his brother, Ricky, and other members of his family run a small but effective operation that’s shared with you.   Billy himself looks like an over-aged punk rocker or goth, complete with spiked hair, black clothes,  spiked armband, and  an aura of cheerful insanity; such apparently helps in that business.   He seems like a really nice guy and knows his stuff, even if you wouldn’t want him to marry your sister…anyhow, ladies, he’s taken!   As far as exterminators go, Billy’s also refreshingly humane, and tends to be into relocation of most of the life forms he removes, except for the insects.- –Catch and Release, three words to live by!

Watch a few episodes, and you’ll see Billy remove poisonous snakes, raccoons, bats, beavers, and a variety of other mammals and invertebrates from sites where they’re not wanted.  In a recent surreal episode, the intrepid exterminator was called upon to remove a nasty, p.o.’d rattlesnake from the cremation area of a funeral parlor.  It’s not all the glory stuff, however…in an another episode, you crawl along with Billy as he goes underneath a building to remove the festering and rancid corpse of a bloated, decomposing cat that’s stinking to high heaven.–“Fluffy’s not so fluffy anymore,” jokes Billy, noting that bugs are crawling in and out of the late cat’s head.- -Sure am glad that I wasn’t snacking during that one!

So give Billy the Exterminator a look…he’s got an interesting if offbeat life, and you might find a new role model!


The Flatwoods Monster!

March 11, 2010

– – You can call him the Flatwoods Monster, or you can call him the Braxton County Monster, or you can call him the Phantom of Flatwoods…just don’t call him early in the morning or late for dinner, ’cause this nine or ten foot tall reptilian monster gets cranky, and just might emit some noxious fumes in your direction that could act like mustard gas, burn your respiratory tract, and ruin your whole day!

In a golden oldie incident going way back to September 12th of 1952, the Flatwoods Monster event was still cool, representing as it did a Close Encounter of the Third Kind! Back even before Elvis made it big, a large, pulsating ball of red light hovered above or rested on the ground in the town of Flatwoods in Braxton County, West Virginia.  The apparent pilot of this craft was described as being about ten feet tall but reptilian in aspect, with bulging red non-human eyes, a red face that glowed from within, and a green body clad with green, pleated skirt-like apparel that may have been a booster.   Some accounts describe the creature as having no visible arms, while others attribute short stubby arms ending in two claw-like fingers that protruded from the front of the body.  Clearly, this alien would have had a hard time finding a date on Saturday night, even in West Virginia.

When startled, the creature is reported to have emitted a series of sharp hisses and a thumping sound that emanated from within its body, ejecting for good measure a thick mist of noxious substance that irritated the eyes and noses of witnesses.   An oily residue of this substance was reportedly found on the faces of two of the witnesses after the encounter, another reportedly getting it on clothing.

Now MonsterQuest reports that other sightings of the Flatwoods Monster have occurred since ’52 and in other regions, although Flatwoods remains the epicenter.  Most recently, three such humanoid creatures were seen by a lone deer hunter who was understandably freaked out by the whole experience.  In their investigation of the sighting area, MonsterQuest investigators questioned whether a release of gases from the underground may have caused hallucinations and the reported  fireball associated with the appearance of the monster.  Their investigation found no sign of radiation or gas leaks.   Chemical investigations of a black plastic-like substance found indicated that it was a natural, organic material like wood.

In a tangent, the episode questioned whether the creature seen might have been a human-alien hybrid, and dragged out the Starchild skull, a freaky 800-some-year-old artifact that we’ve previously considered in an earlier post here.  The expert working with the Starchild skull found it to be that of a human child with modifications that were intentionally inflicted, very possibly as part of a cultural practice like cradle-boarding.

So what in the final analysis do we have?–As usual, not much of anything, but it was a fun trip, and it was good to have seen physicist Stanton Friedman again, who made a brief appearance on the episode!  It was also concluded that witnesses from the original and later sightings of the Flatwoods Monster were most likely seeing the same thing…and I’d rather meet with the grays than reptilian extraterrestrials, wouldn’t you?