Archive for the ‘television’ category
July 31, 2019
Well, most of us are familiar with the Trojan War, ended when the wily ancient Greeks rolled an enormous wooden horse secretly loaded with soldiers up to the impenetrable city gates of Troy. The Trojans, revering horses, thought that the gigantic horse was a gift from their defeated foe, and so rolled it inside of their city where after dark the advance Greek force descended, opening the gates and allowing the full Greek army to launch a devastating surprise nocturnal attack. It was then game over…
…now imagine that the Greeks had crafted a gigantic chicken for their attack device rather than a horse, and you have the premise of this IHOP (International House of Pancakes) commercial done in period costume. Possibly the Trojans would have doubled over with laughter, rendering them incapable of defending their fabled city (“Stop, you’re killing me!”). But no, the soldiers within the great chicken are wondering why they are sneaking into Troy rather than heading over to IHOP to enjoy some nice chicken and pancakes or waffles…make dinner, not war, you know…and pass the pancake syrup, please! A Trojan soldier even hears the Greek soldiers conversing within and questions the giant chicken, to which the Greek strike force leader replies in (-what else?) a chicken voice, complete with squawks! Then the great chicken reverses course and hastens to an IHOP, colliding with cars parked there, and totally out of time and space. That should make for interesting reading on the insurance claims, but I worry about a rift in the time-space continuum…
Brad Pitt as Achilles is nowhere present in this fractured version of the Trojan War, although if he chickened out it was probably at the IHOP, and certainly not the battlefield. Homer (not Simpson) sure didn’t write this Iliad…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, feathered friends, furry, television
Tags: IHOP Surprise Attack, Trojan chicken, Trojan Horse parody
Comments: 4 Comments
July 27, 2019
Well, everybody’s heard about the bird…the Chantix turkey, that is! And while I’m aware that the turkey is paddleboarding rather than surfing, they missed a great chance to use 1963’s Surfin’ Bird by the Trashmen as the sound track for this commercial!
Now there was foreshadowing for this commercial in the last one when we saw the turkey getting out his flip-flops, knocking them together, arranging seashells, and looking at beach scenes on his phone. We shoulda seen this coming, folks. And as I’ve said before, this turkey has a better life than I do. He even returns from his beach visit in the coolest little convertible vehicle that suits him perfectly!
In my twisted mind, I can see Peter Griffin from Family Guy either getting into a dance-off or perhaps a fistfight with the turkey. And like Peter Griffin, “I dream of an America where everybody knows that the bird is the word.” Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, avian, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, feathered friends, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: Chantix Paddleboard Turkey, Family Guy, Peter Griffin, Surfin' Bird, The Trashmen
Comments: 4 Comments
July 24, 2019
Some of you may remember those creepy but cool, coin-operated fortune-telling booths from years ago that featured a glass booth enclosing most often a stereotypic gypsy, witch, mystic, or psychic seer. You simply dropped a quarter into the booth’s coin slot, and the costumed character’s crystal ball lit up, he or she made a few robotic movements, and the booth spit out a slip of paper with your supposed fortune on it, usually something general enough that it would apply to almost anyone.
Well, in this Liberty Mutual commercial, we are shown such a fortune-telling booth in an unusual outdoor location overlooking the Statue of Liberty, undoubtedly symbolic of Liberty Mutual. Such booths were usually housed indoors in arcades. When a lady drops a coin into this fortune teller, the robotic seer, Zoltar, intones that great fortune will find the woman when she allows Liberty Mutual to customize her insurance, permitting her to pay for only what she needs. Grateful for this info, the woman asks Zoltar how she could ever thank him. Eerily, the mechanical seer swivels his head towards her, and mentions that maybe she could “Free Zoltar.” Well, there’s a convenient button for this purpose on the front of the booth which the woman depresses. Instantly the walls of the booth drop, revealing our seer clad in colorful shorts and seated atop a unicycle! He cries “Thanks lady!” and pedals away, a bag held in each hand, and calls for a taxi…
I love happy endings! Perhaps someday someone will free the fortune-telling Elvis that I’ve seen awaiting business out of a booth…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, Brilliant but twisted, strange, television
Tags: Liberty Mutual's Zoltar
Comments: 3 Comments
July 4, 2019
This is truly bizarre; cool and creepy at the same time, like some fiendish device created by Skynet to work towards the extermination of the human race. We’ve all heard of Centaurs, those fusions of man and horse, and we know about Minotaurs, those hybrids of bull and man. Cyborgs are a fusion of man and machine, and apparently if we make the inorganic components those of a motorcycle, we’ve got ourselves a Motaur…word play intentional.
The Progressive commercial plays off of the close linkage between a biker and their machine, and the Motaur (played by Terrence Terrell) is literally fused to his, although in conversation with bikers he reveals that he sometimes wishes for legs with his machine components on top. “For those who love to ride, there’s Progressive,” we are told by the announcer, leaving us to wonder if an ailing Motaur sees a physician or a mechanic…and how many miles per gallon does he get?!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anomalies, biomechanical, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, Questionably creepy, television, twisted reality
Tags: Progressive's Motaur
Comments: 5 Comments
June 21, 2019
Robotic fighters have long been a recurring theme in science fiction, and an object of fascination to males like myself who refused to grow up. From the Richard Matheson story to its adaptation in the Twilight Zone episode “Steel,” inspiration was drawn for the Hugh Jackman movie, “Real Steel.” As an enabling step towards realization of those fantasies, we also have airing on The Discovery Channel the BattleBots series, a place where the pugilistic arts meet high technology in an arena of mechanical mayhem.
Now the tone of these different sagas varies greatly, with Steel as shown on The Twilight Zone dark and dystopian, and set in the then-distant future world of…(gasp)…1974! Good ole Battling Maxo could no longer hold his own against the more advanced models then. Far more family-friendly was Real Steel, a movie more centered upon the relationship of a father and son than upon the robots themselves. The weekly BattleBots series is a strange spectacle featuring teams of bright people from around the world who at times don costumes and whoop and yell as they yet intently field weaponized remotely-controlled devices against one another in a containing area. Their creations, often resembling lawn mowers from hell, inflict damage upon their opponents until an adversary is unable to operate, or time for a match runs out. Although not choreographed, matches borrow from “over-the-top” traditions of professional wrestling, complete with a ring announcer, commentators, and a whipped-up audience waving signs…
…Now, it might be interesting to see some cross-over action on BattleBots, such as seeing those ‘bots versus a Cylon from Battlestar Galactica, or perhaps a Dalek from Dr. Who.- – That ought to drive up the old ratings!
Categories: anthropomorphic, movies, sci fi, science, technology, television
Tags: BattleBots, robot fighting
Comments: 7 Comments
June 3, 2019
Most of the great ones are here…the most iconic Geico spokesmen, that is, in a recent commercial set in their makeup trailer! We briefly see the Gecko, the squirrels, the sloth, the Caveman (“Let’s do the eyebrows first”), and the contest winner, Kathleen. But where is the Camel, it’s asked?
“Mr. Big Shot’s got his own trailer,” bitterly answers the Caveman, and we cut to that location, where we see the Camel in the lap of luxury, receiving the ministrations of two makeup artists while he sips on a lemonade and Alonzo Vasquez’s Rollout tune pumps. Even Joe Camel of cigarette fame never had it this good! – – Ahh, being Number One has its privileges!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Best of Geico commercial, Geico's camel in makeup
Comments: 7 Comments
June 1, 2019
It’s good to see The Slowskys again, especially with Bill Jr. growing up so fast! Parents Bill and Karolyn continue to live life in the slow lane, loving drip coffee, lay-overs, and being put on hold; heck, they even get snail mail, delivered by an authentic snail! With today’s posting comes the message that they’ve been invited to a Y2K party, to which Bill Jr. quips, “Wasn’t that like 20 years ago?”
“Oh look, Karolyn, we’ve got a mathematician on our hands,” grouses the father turtle in the Xfinity commercial.- – Ahh, the impetuousness of youth! Young Bill Jr. is a modern, with-it kinda reptile, however, sporting his headphones and backwards-turned ball cap and tapping away on his Xfinity powered cell phone. This is a turtle of today’s generation who’s on the move, and headed to the future…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: The Slowskys snail mail
Comments: 2 Comments
May 29, 2019
I, for one, have received entirely too much information about the condition of the youngest Charmin bear’s “heinie.” The bespectacled youngest brother bear whose name is Dylan, gleefully picks up his underwear from the floor in a commercial, dancing around with it unafraid because “(his) heinie’s clean.” While I’m sure we can all sleep better with this knowledge, it bears remembering that none of the ursines visibly wear any underwear in their commercials, or for that matter, clothing of any kind whatsoever. Yes, they are bear naked! That which is not worn remains pristine regardless of defecation, so Dylan’s boast is pointless…
So there, bear, with your underwear! Keep it there, and get out of my hair!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Charmin bears, clean bear heinies
Comments: 3 Comments
May 14, 2019
Things get stranger and stranger in the world of advertising, where weird means memorable which can equate to name recognition and subsequently business. Duncan the walrus is an unlikely representative of Geico insurance, but he certainly gets the job done, just as he completely fills the hockey goal, making it impossible for the opposing team to score in a recent Geico ad. Geico makes it easy to get help when you need it, you see, by having licensed agents available 24/7, and it’s not just Geico easy, it’s “having a walrus in the goal easy…”
Duncan is decked out in protective hockey gear, even though it’s ludicrously too small for him. We see in the commercial spot a hockey puck bounce off his shin guard, while a frustrated opposing team skater grouses that the walrus is “ridiculous.” The team coach off on the sidelines doesn’t think so, shouting “Way to go, Duncan!” as he throws the walrus a fish from a bucket that Duncan catches on the fly. The sidelined coach and team members then further show their appreciation of the goalie by making walrus sounds. Having had his fish and excitement, the walrus must then be admonished not to fall asleep on the ice. “Duncan, stay up! No sleepies!,” cries the coach in the closing.
One wonders if Duncan in his off hours doesn’t reflect upon the lyrics from the 1967 Beatles Magical Mystery Tour album, for he is the walrus…“goo goo j’goob.”
Categories: absurdities, advertising, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Duncan the walrus, Geico walrus goalie
Comments: 4 Comments
May 3, 2019
In this short advert, the Sierra Trading Post squirrel couple are up in a forest tree, mocking the “silly humans” camping below with their Sierra cooler. The male exuberantly brags that he buries his food “all over the place” for the excitement of never knowing whether he’s going to find it again, or starve to death. There’s something to be said, I suppose, for living life on the edge…
These squirrels exist somewhere in the nexus of where funny meets cool meets creepy. There’s something about their paws that I find disquieting, although the squirrels seem to be living life with gusto, whether it’s discussing being run over or starvation. There’s probably a lesson in here for us…
(…tip o’the pen to CaryComic!)
Categories: advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Sierra Squirrels "Exciting Life"
Comments: 3 Comments
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