Archive for the ‘insects’ category

Cybernetic Roaches…

September 12, 2012

– – I, for one, would be freaked to find a remotely-controlled Madagascar hissing cockroach at large in my domicile.  One would wonder what kind of sinister intelligence would be behind it, and such a creation would represent an unnatural perversion of the already repugnant.

Scientists at the North Carolina State University have already created such a fun toy, however, by taking a lightweight chip with a wireless receiver and transmitter, and attaching it to a cockroach like a tiny backpack.  Madagascar hissing cockroaches are the roach of choice as they are large, heavy-duty, and already carry a significant gross-out factor.  With a microcontroller connected to the roach’s antennae and cerci (rear sensory organs), small electrical charges from the wires to the cerci trick the roach into moving in response to a perceived threat.  Charges sent to the antennae make the roach think that it’s bumped into something.  By utilizing both inputs, it’s possible to basically steer the cockroach.

Now what, you might ask, would you use a biobot roach for?  Well, they could be sent into tight spaces to search for survivors after disasters…but would you want to be found by such a rescue party?- -aieee!   Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, right?  Perhaps they might additionally tie small casks of brandy around the roach’s head…

Steerable roaches…that’s something new!  I think I want one for Xmas, too! 

Along Came A Spider…

August 10, 2012

– – If you are an arachnophobe, this tale is not for you!  It seems that a woman went to China’s Changsa Central Hospital complaining of itching in the left side of her face.–Well, it turned out that the source of her irritation was a spider which had been residing inside the woman’s ear canal for five days!  It had probably set up housekeeping.   The picture shows the actual spider before its removal…

Doctors used a saline solution to flush the spider out in order to avoid having it bite the woman, or burrow deeper into her ear!  Fortunately, the flushing technique was successful.  Speculation was that the spider crept into the woman’s ear as she slept,  brought in while her house was undergoing renovations.  Spiders can be quite the opportunists…

Spiders and insects are appearing in greater numbers this summer due to the warm weather and drought conditions across much of the United States.  As cold-blooded creatures, insects develop faster in heat conditions, producing more generations in a shorter time.   The Orkin folks and other exterminators ought to be able to get some memorable commercials out of this one!  And you thought the giant talking ants were creepy…

Waiter, There’s a Fly…

August 12, 2011

 – – People are forever finding flies and other repulsive foreign objects in their food, in some cases putting such objects in the food item themselves in the hopes of pursuing profitable litigation or at least getting a free meal.  I’ve found hair in restaurant food on numerous occasions.  Well, along these lines a woman in China recently bought some yogurt, ate half of it in the morning, and put the remainder in her refrigerator, returning that afternoon to consume the rest of it.  When the afternoon’s yogurt tasted funny, the woman spat it out to find…a dead fly!

 

We hope you weren’t eating, gentle readers.  Anyways, when the woman complained to the yogurt manufacturer, Bright Dairy & Food Co., company officials didn’t apologize or offer the customer a refund.  Rather, they asked her to autopsy the fly to make sure that it had gotten into the yogurt before she had opened it.  This rather put an end to the matter, as there aren’t many medical examiners offering fly autopsies.

Instances of food adulteration like this have given rise to use of the term mealbreaker to refer to a nasty, non-edible surprise found in food while it is being eaten.   Examples might include the bloody bandage reportedly found baked into a pizza, and of course the overalls found in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder…


Magnificent Mentos Spider!

February 9, 2011

– – Short of Peter Parker, you aren’t going to find an arachnid as breathtaking as the Mentos Rainbow pack spider! The commercial introduces us to a young couple sitting in their living room when suddenly the female goes ballistic, shrieking and recoiling on their couch.  The view shifts to the carpet, where we are shown…a spider!- –What is it with chicks and spiders, anyhow?!

Anyways, the guy responds by dutifully going to deal with the spider, extending a finger, possibly to crush the inoffensive creature.  The extended digit is all our eight-legged hero needs, however, to demonstrate his profound mastery of Jujutsu or perhaps Aikido, grasping the human’s finger and throwing him like a rag doll across the room no less than three times! A shelving unit and coffee table are splintered in the fracas!  The wrath of the spider is awesome, and the human is hopelessly outclassed!

In the closing images, we see the grounded human’s body dragged forcefully across the floor presumably by the amazing arachnid as the announcer intones, “It’s better to know what’s coming next!” It’s not revealed what fate awaits the human female, but I doubt things will go well for her, either…

…Bravo, I say!  Long may this arachnid martial arts master live and prosper!


Great Gonads!

November 18, 2010

(Warning:  Some Mature content)

– –We all know the appeal of big balls, although I’ve never had to use the ballroom dancing classes my parents required me to take.  The Fox Trot came quite naturally to me, although I’ve never been prevailed upon to do the Waltz or even the Cha Cha…but enough of my ballroom notoriety…

In the animal kingdom, a species of cricket, the tuberous bushcricket (Platycleis affinis)  has been found to have, as AC/DC might sing, “…the biggest balls of them all,” testes that amount to 13.8 percent of its body mass!  This would be the rough equivalent of a human male hauling around testicles that weigh 22 pounds!  I don’t know what this would translate to in foxes, but they’d probably be pretty impressive…

It is thought that the extra large testes in bushcrickets (also known in North America as katydids) allow males to mate repeatedly without their sperm reserves being exhausted…to say nothing of their bragging rights!

The research appears in “Biology Letters,” a journal of Britain’s Royal Society…(heh, and you thought they were stuffy!)

…and AC/DC rocks!–Woo!

Biggest Moth!

September 12, 2010

– – It’s not Mothra, but the world’s largest real specimen is the Atlas moth, named after their map-like wing patterns.  Boasting 12-inch wings and breathtaking colors, the Atlas moth lives a mere two-week life span owing to the fact that they have no stomachs and their mouths don’t form properly, preventing them from eating anything!

Native to the rain forests of Southeast Asia, the Atlas moth lives its brief life off the fat it accumulated as a caterpillar, and spends its adult life breeding other moths…a short life but a merry one, eh?

The Spider Dies Hard

September 2, 2010

– – Most spiders are beneficial creatures, but so many try to kill them, at times to their regret.  So was the case for one guy in Essex, England when summoned by his wife to deal with a spider she had seen scuttling behind their toilet bowl.- – Well, unable to reach the spider, the man attempted to spray it with an aerosol can, after which point he struck up his cigarette lighter to determine if he had been successful as the bathroom light had blown out.  You probably can see where this is going by now…

Yuppers, the lighter ignited the fumes and caused an explosion so strong that it lifted the man off his feet, threw him into his hallway, and lifted the loft door off of its hinges!  The man suffered flash burns to his head, legs, and torso and was rushed to the hospital.

The spider?–Well, there was no sign of it at the scene afterwards, so it may well have gotten away, probably with a great story to tell to its innumerable offspring…

Getting Bugged Lately?

July 14, 2010

– – Some people would say that you’re probably not eating enough bugs.  Now a word to the wise is sufficient, and if you’re eating a nice snack or are phobic towards insects, you may want to opt out of this post for now, but please come back for another!   That being said, let’s continue with entomophagy…eating insects as food!   You have been duly warned…

Now the idea of eating insects doesn’t fly well in the U.S.A. (- -heh heh!), but insects are commonly consumed in Asia, Latin America, and Africa.  Insects are not usually eaten in the European nations, the U.S., and Canada, where a psychological barrier exists to their consumption.  Insects are excellent sources of protein, but shouldn’t be eaten raw as some contain viruses, bacteria, or toxins used for defensive purposes.  For that matter, one shouldn’t eat chicken raw!

Western society tends to be removed from its food sources, and is reliant on “center of the animal” foods.  Insects additionally are not raised commercially in most western countries except as pet food or fish bait, and suffer the stigma of being considered “vermin.”

And I, too, will pass on the insect plate, at least while there’s pizza to be had!

Beware of Bug Thugs!

June 3, 2010

– – I, for one, am not really fond of gigantic insects, especially when they’re anthropomorphic, possessed of the power of speech, and even capable of driving cars.   These are so much more than the lumbering giant insects seen in such vintage B-flicks as the ant saga,  Themthe giant insectile creatures of Starship Troopers were a hoot, though!

…such are the awesome and disgusting ants and roaches of Orkin, appearing in televised ads right at your doorstep and even crashing your pool party!  These bugs are insidious and clever; they might be delivering a pizza that you didn’t order, or saying that they’re broken down, and need to use your telephone…in one of the latest ads, a giant cockroach shows up to leer at an amorous couple in a hot tub.  He (-it?) lets his towel drop to the floor, and asks in a wonderful voiceover if he can go “dipping skinny!”  When they are spurned and countered, the bugs peel out in a variety of cool and classic vehicles, including motorcycles!

At once both sinister and comical, these bugs are animatronic, and it reportedly takes seven guys to operate each one.  If they come to your house, don’t let ’em in…it would probably take more than a rolled-up newspaper to defeat them, and we value your readership!

Spaced-Out Spiders…

May 27, 2010

– -What happens when  poor, innocent spiders are given the active ingredient in marijuana, THC?–Well, they create a poorly-constructed minimalist web.  Since garden spiders typically build a new web every day, such impairment isn’t good.  In experiments, spiders have also been given such drugs as speed, LSD, and even caffeine.  On high doses of caffeine, for example, the regular design of the web disappears.  While on acid, the spider can’t complete his web at all…much like stoner humans who aren’t terribly productive, either…

…and nobody wants stoned spiders around their house, anyways!