Archive for the ‘furry’ category

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Meat Ponchos!

October 3, 2012

– – In another of the Degree Chain of Adventure commercials, three average guys are equipped with “meat ponchos” and then have a pack of wolves released upon them!  “Sweat is like tasty gravy to a hungry wolf,” explains survival expert Bear Grylls.- –Well, only one of the three meat poncho wearers is still standing alive and dry at the end of the commercial, and it should come as no surprise that he’s the guy wearing Degree deodorant!  

I think we’ve all learned something here today…and while I’m glad the wolves got some fresh food, wouldn’t wearing a meat poncho be disgusting, to say nothing of costly?–And wouldn’t Meat Ponchos be a great name for a punk mariachi band?!

Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

Degree Commercial with Bear Grylls and Real Ursine

October 1, 2012

– – Bear Grylls is a British survival expert and adventurer who hosts the show Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel.  He also does a number of commercials for Degree deodorant, one of which shows us a poor subject pacing in a primitive “perpetual motion simulator,” which is really a large wheel set into motion by the movement of the guy walking inside it.  “Feelin’ fresh and dry!,” assures the hapless subject as he moves at a leisurely pace.  The deodorant’s protection is activated by movement, ‘ya see, so to kick things up a notch, the survival expert tosses the wheel walker a trout, and a bear is introduced in pursuit behind him!- –Now things are getting interesting!

“Help me!,” screams the subject with the bear in hot pursuit.  “Keep running!” is the only advice he is offered by the survival expert who calmly walks away…

Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

“Wayne the Werewolf” from “Hotel Transylvania”

September 29, 2012

– – I’m usually not much for family-friendly movie monsters as they tend to be overly sanitized, but Wayne the Werewolf from the upcoming movie Hotel Transylvania may be a redeeming grace, or at least a focal point for furry aficionados.

  Voiced by Steve Buscemi, Wayne is portrayed as a world-weary everyman kinda werewolf who is a data processor by day and a beleaguered father by night.  Wayne and his wife, Wanda, have produced litters of misbehaving pups, and his ball and chain is pregnant yet again; the poor guy’s once acute sense of smell has even been decimated from too many poopie diapers!  This is a poor guy who really needs a vacation at the Hotel Transylvania where a number of classic movie monsters including Dracula (voiced by Adam Sandler), the Invisible Man (David Spade), and Frankenstein (Kevin James) are free to be themselves…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, movies

Comments: 5 Comments

“Dirty, Old Egg-Sucking Dog” VW Commercial…

September 24, 2012

  – – I’m not a big fan of country music, although I am a fan of Volkswagens, owning a Jetta myself…and it just so happens that a currently-running VW commercial features a Jetta,  Johnny Cash’s music, and an English Bulldog! –Well, it seems that in the commercial the bulldog swallows his owner’s car keys, but fortunately the Jetta’s keyless technology system allows you to operate certain features of the car as long as you have the keys in your proximity.  So even with your keys in your pocket (or dog), sensors in the car will detect your arrival and unlock the door as you grab the handle.  Once inside the car, it can also be started without the keys in the ignition just by pushing the brake and then a button to start the car!

The Johnny Cash song used dates back to 1966 from the “Everybody Loves A Nut” album, with the first stanza as follows:
“Well he’s not very handsome to look at/Oh he’s shaggy and he eats like a hog/And he’s always killin’ my chickens/That dirty old egg-suckin’ dog.”

Beauty, it’s said,  is in the eyes of the beholder…and I’ve heard canines called far worse than “…dirty, old egg-suckin’ dog.”   To illustrate responsible pet ownership, the owner drives directly to the animal hospital, although he does use the dog again to lock the car and roll up the windows!  Surely the bulldog would approve, although not of being called “Shirley.”  Just don’t expect to hear country music coming from the windows of my Jetta!

Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television

Comments: 2 Comments

Rockin’ the House…

September 21, 2012

– – I’m glad to see that the Kia hamsters have developed a taste for the fine arts,  showing their trademark killer moves in an 18th-century opera house in their newest commercial for the Soul “party wagon!” 

The current campaign is called “Bringing Down the House,” and features a ballet performance and breakdancing to the Axwell remix of “In My Mind.”  It’s kind of an electronic dance rave type thing which is played to an audience of upper-crusty aristocratic types who seem to eventually tap into the energy and get into the groove…

The hamsters are good at what they do, BTW…sales of the Kia Soul are up 13% this year!

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

Comments: 2 Comments

Fluzone’s “Hedgehog”

September 18, 2012

– – If he were any cuter, people probably wouldn’t be able to stand him…the Fluzone Hedgehog, that is!  Now there aren’t really many vaccines that have their own animal mascots…no tetanus shot tarantulas, for example.  But this little guy makes sense, since you get a shot from a needle, and he’s covered with quills.  But you really won’t mind, because he’s even  going to a barber shop to get his quills trimmed…the idea is, ‘ya see, that Fluzone uses smaller intradermal needles!

He’s an anthropomorphic hedgehog, talking a little…and he even adjusts his little red tie!  He’s such a cute little dickens that you want to hug him, even if it hurts!  One just wonders why he goes to a hair salon rather than an animal groomers, but maybe he’s trying to make time with the stylist…and I’ll be surprised if we don’t now see more furry hedgehog avatars and stuffed hedgehogs out by Xmas.

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

Comments: 3 Comments

“Chipmunk Family Reunion” from Progressive’s “Good Night, Flo”

September 7, 2012

– – Be brave, and enter by commercial into the dream world of Progressive’s iconic “Flo,” an already otherworldly lady.  We are shown in the commercial the racing car bed that she sleeps in, and are witness to her dreams, appearing in a cartoon-like “thought bubble” appearing above her head.  Flo, perhaps not surprisingly, counts insurance discounts rather than sheep in her sleep state.

Then the parade of discounts is interrupted, and we are shown a dream deviation of a chipmunk family reunion!  They are as cute as the  dickens…but alas!  A dastardly squirrel steals the chipmunk’s nuts!  Despair not, however, for in Flo’s dream, the squirrel is apprehended, and winds up in “Squirrel Jail.”  Even in her dream state, Flo exults “Justice!,” and we are shown a victorious chipmunk holding aloft a liberated nut!   Wonder what a therapist would make of this one…

But don’t ‘ya just love happy endings, even though reunions tend to be nutty? 

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

Comments: 4 Comments

Strange Furry Cinema…

September 1, 2012

– – Nearing Labor Day as this blog reaches the 300,000 hits mark, we pause to thank our readers for making this possible.  And as we consider dubious achievements, we will also make mention of possibly the worst furry-themed movie ever made…Howard the Duck! 

Widely panned by critics as being one of the worst movies ever, Howard the Duck was actually produced by George Lucas, but wasn’t exactly, ahem, a feather in his cap.  The screenplay was originally intended to be an animated film based on the Marvel comic book of the same name, but contractual obligations required Lucas to provide his then-distributor with a live action film.  The satirical and surrealist strengths of the original source material were then abandoned with a script which altered the personality of the title character.  The uneven 1986 science fiction comedy film which resulted was largely too juvenile for adults but inappropriate for children, exposing us in one scene to anthropomorphic duck breasts; yes, you heard that right!  Some have commented that the scene mentioned has alone created legions of avian furry afficionados.

So whether Howard failed due to deviating from the source material, a poor script, or from featuring a title character presented by actors in a duck suit, one fact remains…at the box office, this turkey didn’t fly!  Daffy Duck would have been a far more compelling male lead…

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, feathered friends, furry, furry film classics, strange

Comments: 4 Comments

Bear Mauling Fatality

August 29, 2012

– – A lone hiker was mauled to death by a grizzly bear on Friday in Alaska’s Denali National Park.  It was the first fatality from a bear attack in the park’s nearly 100 year history. 

Forty-nine-year-old Richard White of San Diego had been photographing the bear from a distance of about 50-yards away for about eight minutes when he was killed; a grizzly running at full speed could cover that distance in a matter of seconds, according to the Park’s superintendent.  The regulation distance between a hiker and a bear is a quarter mile. 

Other hikers found the victim’s backpack and bloodied clothing, and alerted park rangers.  A wildlife trooper shot and killed the bear on Sunday, and rangers recovered Mr. White’s remains.  A portion of the Park was closed following the attack…

 

Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, furry

Comments: 2 Comments

Red Bull’s “Hunter” Commercial…

August 27, 2012

– – Man, the hunters hate this commercial with a passion, calling it anti-gun, anti-hunter, and even “sacrilegious.”  I could tell you other things they’ve called this ad, but we strive to be mostly family friendly here.  It’s the Red Bull “Hunter” commercial, alternately referred to as “Animal Killer!”  In the commercial, a hunter that could make Elmer Fudd look good goes into the woods, wearing a ludicrous outfit that includes a feathered cap, and whistling a tune.  There’s a bit of a commotion in the woods that we don’t see, but it undoubtedly involves a reversal of fortunes…

…next, the hunter is high-tailing it out of the woods, effortlessly pursued by a wild hog or boar.  It’s an easy chase; the buck-toothed hunter loses his gun then his pipe, and trips over a rock and falls flat, the boar not even breaking a sweat.  The hog, looking mildly amused, taps the prone hunter extracting his face from the ground on the back with his hoof.  “Hey, animal killer!,” says the hog, who continues to offer the hapless Nimrod a Red Bull energy drink.  “Then what?,” asks the clueless mighty hunter.  “Then run faster!,” patiently explains the victorious hog.- -Red Bull, you see, gives you wings!

I haven’t seen such a masterful rout and lambasting of a hunter since Bugs Bunny’s many humiliations of Elmer…  😉

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television

Comments: 4 Comments

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