— Ah, the stories, the wonderful fantastic tales that could be shared if Dorothy from “Oz” and Alice from “Wonderland” could sit down together, and compare notes on a pleasant summer afternoon! I’d surely pull up a chair to listen in to that conversation!
Alice could open by relating how she followed a white rabbit with a watch who seemed much preoccupied with the time, while Dorothy could share an encounter with a cowardly lion. Alice might speak of meeting a hookah-smoking caterpillar, while Dorothy could regale us with descriptions of flying monkeys. There would be reports of animal abuse, too, such as Alice’s description of a croquet game with flamingos used as mallets, and Dorothy’s account of a green-hued witch threatening her small dog.
Some of the strangest furry encounters in literature have been described or related by children, or by those with child-like, open minds. Weird shit, indeed, and oddly compelling…
– – While we’re certainly not in the business of promoting alcoholic beverages here, the Red Stag Breakaway commercial for Jim Beam bourbon is a dazzling display of a stag on steroids. The big red guy begins his dramatic run in a residential neighborhood, then takes a turn into the city…and talk about burning up the pavement! A trail of flame initially follows the stag and cobblestones crumble beneath his mighty hooves as the stag charges ahead, literally running up walls and on the side of buildings to reach his final lofty height. It’s kind of like The Flash on four legs; what a rush with this scarlet speedster!
– – Camels haven’t figured in commercials much since the days of tobacco pitchman Joe Camel, who was, it must be admitted, extremely cool. Now at last we have an anthropomorphic camel figuring in a Geico commercial, who parades around an office interrupting and distracting workers by happily asking them what day it is. The answer to the dromedary’s query is that it’s Wednesday, also known as hump day. Our two amiable musical hosts then appear, one asking us how happy people are that save hundreds of dollars on car insurance; the answer is that they’re happier than a camel on Wednesday…
– – The season finale of Monsters and Mysteries in America went off with a bang in their “Desert Wasteland” episode, treating us to tales (and tails) of thunderbirds, skinwalkers, nightstalkers, and not to be forgotten, aliens! The American Southwest may be a desert wasteland, but it’s rich in really cool folklore! Of course, I was hooked, and wouldn’t have been disturbed unless there was an earthquake or I was on fire.
– – Mysterious shadows, screams in the night, hairy hominids, and a hair-raising sense that something is watching me…these are a few of my favorite things! Few cryptic creatures are as laughably strange, however, as is the Sheepsquatch, a crossover between mutton and man reported throughout West Virginia and in the southwestern region of Virginia. 
– – Seldom are cryptids described as goat-like, but the “Goatman” of Western Kentucky is an exception. As characterized on the Discovery Channel’s show, Monsters and Mysteries in America, the Goatman is reputed to have hypnotic powers of a sort, to be able to imitate voices, and to entice people to climb the Pope Lick railroad trestle to lure them to their doom. 
– – Wouldn’t you like to have a hawk for a friend that obligingly drops off a cold drink when you’ve a hankering for one? The dude in the “No Man’s Land” commercial for Dr. Pepper 10 does, and also frolics with a bear in the wilderness, tears and chews bark right off a tree, and effortlessly carries a huge log with one arm! Such things are apparently possible when you partake of “The Manliest Low-Calorie Soda in the History of Mankind.” Welcome to the manly world of Dr. Pepper 10, so manly it’s packaged in gunmetal-gray cans.- -Would Hillary Clinton drink this?- –I think not!
– – Many of us like to hug kittens, but would you like to wear them?- -Not as skins, heaven forbid, but as living, moving creatures? It would be unnatural, and possibly a bit surreal if not creepy. Then you’d probably pick up a lot of cat hair, and what if one of them had to pee or poop? Many would be the problems of a kitten shirt, not to be confused with a hair shirt, worn in the Middle Ages to mortify the flesh, which is not an idea much in vogue in contemporary society…
– – He understands marketing completely, wears an electronic speech translation device around his neck, and occasionally eats his staff members…that’s Mr. Wolfdog, the marketing director brought in by Old Spice to promote their Wild Collection fragrance line. Wolfie knows his way around an office, and his is complete with devices like calculators, business awards, and desk toys like a Newton’s Cradle. Wolfdog is also a busy rascal, having made a series of banner ads, a number of videos posted on YouTube, animated GIFs, and even an album of inspirational business music called Night Business, with cover art featuring Wolfie in shades and a cool casual suit! His credentials include being Alpha Male for Deciduous Forest Pack #13588 in Woods, Montana.
FOXSYLVANIA 
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