Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category

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The Bear is Boarding!- -The Labatt Blue “Undomesticated” Commercial

February 19, 2014

labatt

– – One of the coolest anthropomorphic bears that I’ve seen in a long time appears in the Labatt Blue Big Game XLVIII commercial, “Undomesticated.”  We are shown breathtaking, pristine mountain scenery clothed in winter white down which erupts a snowboarding bear!  Truly a master of the snowboard, this bear makes it look easy as he travels down the slopes to the pulsating percussive electronic stylings of Dillon Francis’ Masta Blasta  (the Rebirth).  His impressive run ends with a leap at a ski lodge where fellow fanciers of winter sports cheer and toast his stellar performance over bottles of Labatt Blue…

…and yes, the bear  even gets the girls at the end, flanked on either side of a hot tub by scantily-clad lovelies!  We are told to get up, get out, and get Undomesticated!   I’ll never be fully domesticated, but I love my creature comforts…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, television
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AAA “Accident Rewind” Commercial With Beaver…

February 17, 2014

accident rewind

– –  Beavers are known for being industrious, and apparently at times they’re a bit evil as well!  In an AAA insurance commercial, we are shown a family of four riding along in a red SUV as birds chirp when they spy a beaver gnawing at a tree.  “Daddy, Daddy, look…a beaver!,” cries one girl from the back seat.  “Oh, he’s so cute!,” chimes in the mother, riding shotgun in the front seat.  “Oh, no no no no no!,” redundantly corrects the father.  

Father knows best, apparently.  We are given a close-up of the beaver, who emits a sound between a growl and a hiss, and drops the tree directly at the family’s SUV!  Fortunately, it’s technology to the rescue!  Dad hits a switch inside the vehicle, and the car is instantly protected by a surrounding, shimmering shield, like those deployed by Star Trek spacecraft against enemies.  The tree is halted harmlessly by the energy field!- – I’d give anything to have one of those!

Sadly, though, 24th century technology isn’t here yet.  “Until there’s an impenetrable force field to protect your car from woodland creatures, there’s the next best thing…insurance from AAA!,” declares the announcer.  I don’t understand why we woodland creatures are getting a bad rap here, but if I can’t get a force field, I’m willing to settle for a Jetson’s flying car.  The future is taking too long to get here…*sighs*

Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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Body Slammed By A Lowland Gorilla!

February 10, 2014

body slammed

– – In another of their memorable and comic commercials in which one event leads to another, DirecTV tells us the sad tale of someone who pays too much for cable, causing him to feel down.  When you feel down, you stay in bed…and when you stay in bed, they give your job (in this case, zoo keeper) to someone new.  When your job is given to someone new, that someone has a lot to learn…and when someone has a lot to learn, mistakes are made…like failing to secure a cage, which results in a gorilla escaping behind the new keeper’s back.  When mistakes are made, you get body slammed  by a lowland gorilla when you leave your bed to get the paper….a gorilla named “Jimbo!”

We are admonished not to be body slammed by a lowland gorilla, but rather get rid of cable, and upgrade to DirecTV.  Depression is a terrible thing, and so is being mowed down by a rampaging gorilla.  – -I’ll take their word for it!  One can, I am told, profit from the mistakes of others…

Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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Doritos Breakroom Ostrich…

February 4, 2014

doritos ostrich

The 2014 Superbowl was not especially memorable for either football or commercials, but the Doritos ad featuring an ostrich was cute.  The  short spot began with an office boss dressing down two employees for eating all of the Doritos in the breakroom, plus making an awful mess.  One of the two employees just so happens to be be a full-sized ostrich…

…the crime scene itself is then recreated, as we are shown the balding male employee scarfing down every Dorito in sight, and indeed making quite a mess in the process; he would seem from the wrappers to prefer the nacho flavor variety.  The ostrich appears in the doorway and observes the spectacle, casting a disapproving gaze and then backing out; the man says nothing.  When the boss is then confronting the duo and telling them that the offense has been narrowed down to one of them, the human shamelessly says that the ostrich is “obviously” the culprit, at which point the ostrich does a memorable and wide-mouthed gasp!  Obviously, some humans are capable of anything…

…and darned if I don’t have an incredible desire to eat some Doritos right now, although I prefer the ranch flavor…ranch, Mmm!

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, avian, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Tums TV Spot, “Chicken…”

January 12, 2014

chicken

– – It’s grotesque, absurd, and surreal, and like something out of a vegetarian’s worst nightmare…the plucked, decapitated, and man-sized chicken in a commercial for Tums Ultra Strength antacids.  Standing upright at an upscale outdoor barbecue presumably where it was consumed, this most foul fowl and the man who is now tormented by it become aware of one another’s presence at the same time.  The chicken carcass utters what I suppose martial arts challenges would sound like if vocalized by a chicken, and begins to swing its sizable plucked wings at the hapless human, landing at least one good slap.  Although caught off-guard, the man responds by dodging and directing a punch at the giant plucked bird…thankfully, we are spared the full  fury of the combat.

…the announcer then interjects, “When that chicken you had at the barbecue starts fighting with heartburn,  fight back with Tums!”  Antacids apparently succeed where fisticuffs do not, for in the final scene, the man and the great carcass are playing nicely with one another at a friendly game of volleyball.  Sports is often seen as an outlet for male aggression and a substitute for war, after all…and I do so like to see conflict resolved amicably, especially when it involves the barbecued dead…

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, humor, strange, television
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Bear at a Bar!

December 9, 2013

honey bear

– – I’m always sad to see an animal turn to strong drink, although lord knows bears have good reason to; they’re hunted, exploited, and subjected to Yogi Bear type portrayals.  Still, the bear portrayed in the brief Jim Beam honey bourbon whiskey commercial seems to be holding it together pretty well, even if he is monopolizing the stock of Jim Beam Honey at a bar where a customer asks the barkeep if there’s any left of it; you know how bears are reputed to be with honey and all, they’ve got that Winnie-the-Pooh thing going on…

…well, the bartender slides a glass down to the unnamed bruin, who apparently is a well-known customer at the establishment.  He obviously knows his way around the bar, and also the stringed instrument that he is shown strumming at the end of the commercial. – – Remember, bears, know your limits, and drink responsibly!

 

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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Geico “Pig in a Blanket” Commercial

December 3, 2013

maxwell football– – Geico’s Maxwell the pig is back in a commercial spot again, this time at a football game where he is again demonstrating the capabilities of his Geico app to a friend, even in the midst of a a crowded stadium.  It’s evidently a chilly day prompting some extra covering in the outdoor facility, and pretty soon the stadium cam zooms in on Maxwell, causing his image to appear on a giant screen, together with the legend, “Pig in a blanket!” For the uniformed, this refers to a recipe for hot dogs prepared wrapped in crescent rolls.  We’ll overlook the additional fact that footballs were once referred to as “pigskins.”

“Guess I walked into that one,” quips Maxwell, who at this point could use some better material…

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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Sears Black Friday Commercial, “Turkey Chase”

November 28, 2013

turkey chase– –  “Get in the bag!- – Get in the bag!,” cries the Denskies’ Dad, a would-be turkey pursuer to an agitated and very mobile turkey, which readily keeps ahead of the hapless hunter.  So intent is Mr. Denskie at bagging the bird that he is oblivious to a number of trees looming in the immediate vicinity, soon colliding with one of the massive trunks and getting knocked out cold.  The turkey escapes, none the worse for the wear. – – So who’s the real bird brain here?!

We haven’t seen a hunter this inept since Elmer Fudd, and Sears is bringing us this reminder of their Black Friday sales as a better way to save money than hunting your own wild turkey, most of which bear little relationship anymore to what’s being sold in supermarkets…and a happy holiday to all of you!

Categories: absurdities, animals, avian, furry commercials, television
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DirecTV Spot, “Attack of the Squirrels”

November 24, 2013

squirrels

– – Squirrels seems to have come into their own lately, appearing in more and more commercials. We’ve seen squirrels engage in kind of a sweat shop revolt in an earlier Sears commercial, and once again, the small rodents are combining in numbers to overwhelm and freak out hapless humans. Sure, they’re cute…but would you want large numbers of them hanging on you, as with this gentleman?

We are shown an adult man named”Dave” crossing a park who is converged upon by multiple squirrels, and verbally orders them to go away. The narrator tells us that the squirrels aren’t listening to Dave, and just don’t seem to care what he says. How very different this is than the DirecTV system, which can be verbally ordered to find kiddie movies, and is fully compliant. Meanwhile, poor Dave is left agitated and spinning about in the park with a myriad of squirrels hanging onto him in a scene reminiscent of the rat attacks from the movie, “Ben.” — The horror, the horror!

We are not shown the ultimate fate of Dave, and the squirrels aren’t talking, either. — What is their agenda? Vigilance is accordingly advised!

Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, strange, television
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The Pepto Bismol Squirrel in “Aerial Enlightenment”

November 15, 2013

Pepto squirrel

– – Enlightenment can apparently be found anywhere, even on aircraft, when you have Pepto To Go!  We’ve already seen the zen-oriented rodent in the forest, and now he pops up on a flight, where he tells a female passenger that he can see that she’s packed…her stomach!  Such a pronouncement would be unwelcome from a human, but coming from a squirrel, we marvel at his sage perception.  

He appears out of a seatback compartment that looks like a medicine cabinet, and before we know it, the squirrel has somehow teleported into the woman’s pocket, emerging with a vial of Pepto, and telling the passenger that relief can be hers. There is a price to be paid, however, for the woman’s airline peanuts belong to the squirrel, and are shown in his tiny paws as he reappears in the seatback compartment in front of her, and the commercial ends.  Wisdom, like the squirrel, is where you find it…and perhaps the squirrel will come when the student is ready…

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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