Archive for the ‘Brilliant but twisted’ category

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“Overworked Elf” Dean Winters Allstate/Walmart Commercial…

December 2, 2024

Aww!–It’s Xmas season again! And what could be a better antidote for that than Dean Winters playing an overworked elf!? Doesn’t the above scene look Christmas-y? A coating of snow, seasonal yard decor, and…gasp!– –Santa and his sleigh on the rooftop!

But there’s a rub…the Mayhem dude is playing Santa’s overworked assistant, and he’s ready to call it a night! Mayhem is wearing his suit, but clearly the worse for the wear. There’s soot on his face, maybe some bruises,and his tie is askew…it’s been a long night! Clearly, the elves need to unionize..

But I’ve always disliked elves of the relentlessly-cheerful variety. I like my elves world-weary, and a bit sarcastic, and Winters fits that bill perfectly! He’s already had a hard night, and so when he hands Santa his pack (“here you go, Boss!”), he fumbles, and the gifts go tumbling down the chimney! It gets worse, too, ’cause there a fire burning in the hearth! An expensive Apple laptop impacts and is broken open, and other gifts ignite! If you have ever dropped electronic devices even a short distance much less ignited them, you’ll know that this does not bode well for their functionality. Yuppers, Allstate insurance sure is needed for protection of these electronics, or as as our elf tells us, you’ll be “Ho-ho-SO out of luck!“

I also love the fact that Winters apparently has names for the reindeer other than what we are used to, referring to one of them as “Cliffton.” I’d be in favor of re-naming most of the reindeer, giving them relatable names such as Frank, Harry, and Clyde. This reindeer looks somewhat startled by the spectacle that he has just witnessed…

Dean Winters has given us Xmas elves before, memorably playing The Elf on the Shelf just a few years back. That elf was dressed in traditional elfish attire, and as human-sized, brought the shelf down that he was sitting on due to his weight. “Elf down!- -Elf down!,” he alerted from the floor…

So enjoy Dean Winters in this year’s holiday offering…he’s a national treasure, really!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, comedy, commercials, furry, holidays, television
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Comments: 5 Comments

The Gospel According to “Felix…”

September 26, 2024

Exploding Kittens on Netflix is a hoot, although not for those who prefer their religion unpilloried…

It seems that God is felt by a divine council to need to be rehabilitated, and so He is sent to Earth in the form of a talking cat, devoid of his most useful but not all powers. He is to help a human family who prayed for his assistance, all the while contending against a similar demonic cat sent to thwart him… 🙀

This is pretty wild stuff that plays like Sunday School on heavy psychoactive medication. God-Cat has not long arrived on Earth before He is corralled by an animal control officer, and sedated. He escapes confinement, and goes on as a strange mixture of deity, human, and feline, railing against his cat incarnation while gradually embracing it. He learns the ways of man, and has frequent epic but hilarious battles against the opposing Devil-Cat.

You might say that God becomes a better fur-son because of all this, but you’ll just have to watch Exploding Kittens to learn of all the enabling details… Meow! 😸

(Foxsylvania proudly endorses Harris-Walz in 2024!)

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, furry, furry television, humor, television
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Comments: 14 Comments

Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday…

September 14, 2024

With Paul Reubens sadly deceased, there remains one chance to see his Pee-Wee Herman character in a lesser-known movie that I wasn’t aware existed until recently. Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday (2016), while not in my opinion his best movie, gives the actor-comedian and his defining character a fitting send-off…

It seems that Pee-Wee, the man-boy in his trademark too-small suit, has settled nicely in the town of Fairville, a wholesome place where he is known and loved by all, and works as a cook in a local diner where his masterfully-prepared meals are the delight of all. When not working, Pee-Wee may be seen motoring about in his sporty miniature convertible.

While Pee-Wee professes that he “doesn’t want to go anywhere, and doesn’t want to try anything new,” this changes when Joe Manganiello motorcycles into Pee-Wee’s town, craves a milkshake in the diner, and bonds with Pee-Wee over their mutual love of root beer barrels. Joe invites Pee-Wee to his upcoming birthday party in the Big Apple, and the film then essentially becomes a road trip movie as Reubens makes his way to NYC, encountering misadventures along the way.

These occurrences include captivity by a trio of female bank robbers who steal his car, an overnight with a farmer who curiously intends to marry one of his nine daughters off to Pee-Wee, and a memorable sojourn with an Amish community! Arriving in New York City, Pee-Wee manages to fall into a well in Central Park, necessitating his rescue. While trapped, Pee-Wee has some apparently delusional encounters with Abraham Lincoln and Queen Elizabeth…

While Pee-Wee and Joe seem to be an extremely unlikely duo, their attraction is supposedly based on shared interests and is a friendship, nothing else. This is a children’s movie, after all, or at least a child-friendly one. The Pee-Wee character is supposedly a boy in latency, although he did seem to show interest in the opposite sex in Big Top Pee-Wee. Anyways, Pee-Wee’s Big Vacation may be seen on Netflix, and is recommended viewing for fans of the character, admittedly an acquired taste for some that others never acquire…

RIP, Paul Reubens. His Pee-Wee character always reminded me of a demented composite of all the kiddie show hosts that I grew up watching…

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, movies
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Buffalo Wild Wings “Box Out” Commercial…

September 11, 2024

The buffalo in the Buffalo Wild Wings commercials appears to be a party animal, and as he shows in the Box Out ad, is a bit of the “bull in the china shop” beast as well, not that a pub equates to a china shop! The buffalo spokes-animal still manages to trash stuff pretty impressively, and that’s without being mad!

I’ve always kinda admired the Wild Wings buffalo as a rather well-rendered and impressive chimera, and he’s certainly articulate and expressive to the point of being brash or domineering. I doubt that his wings would be adequate, however, to enable flight, and support his massive bulk. They’re nice wings, nonetheless...

The buffalo, whose name is Hank, is voiced by Beck Bennett. Crafted for the March Madness event, the commercial is certainly mad and wild. Hank, who thinks that he knows a bit about playing defense, goes into a demonstration by unintentionally knocking people about, even breaking out the window, complete with a bodily ejection and flying glass. One would certainly want to be on this bison’s team, as his opponents might not survive him!

I’ve never posted about a buffalo before, but Hank does cut an impressive and imposing furry figure in this ad; you’d just want to think twice about inviting him to your apartment, however! Unanswered are the questions of whether Hank will be held liable for damages…

And BTW, this fox was born in Buffalo, New York!

And by the way, I just happen to have been born in Buffalo, New York! My university mascot was a bison!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television, twisted reality
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“Earl” from Smalls Food For Cats Commercial…

July 13, 2024

Somewhere between the Mayhem guy’s minimalist animal impersonations and a full-fledged, identity-concealing fursuit is Earl the Cat, doing commercial duties for Smalls Cat food. Earl is anthropomorphic, sleeping in a bed, going into the bathroom and brushing his tongue, and yes…we briefly glimpse a litter box in that bathroom, but thankfully do not see Earl using it!

We see Earl engaging in cat-behaviors such as doing a variety of full-body stretches to limber up the old back…but Earl also does humanoid activities such as going on his computer and getting into social networking sites. He becomes visibly excited when viewing web images of chickens…

Yes, Earl has the best of both worlds! Half-man and half-cat, Earl’s thoughts eventually turn as do all of ours to food. Earl is one of the sophisticats, too…no alley cat he! Picking out a container of food from a pantry-full, he carries it to a nice table, where there is candle-lighting, and perhaps a bottle of vino.- – How refined! – -How sweet it is! But in the manner of domestic animals everywhere, Earl puts his face down to eat directly from his plate.- – No utensils necessary!

Wouldn’t you love to have a human-sized anthropomorphic cat to lounge around your place? Sign me up!- – Cuddles and snuggles, anyone?- –Meow!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry commercials
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Allstate’s “Wild Bird” Commercial…

March 19, 2024

Allstate’s Dean Winters as the redoubtable “Mayhem” is doing animal impersonations again, this time as a wild bird stuck in the attic of basketball legend Larry Bird. – -What, you’ve never seen a bird in a suit before?! That absurdity is part of the humor. Well, once again Winters pulls his animal act off, bonking his head against an attic window to show his entrapment, knocking stuff about, and announcing that he’s “going cuckoo…”

All of the ruckus draws the now senior Bird out of his comfy chair into his attic, where he encounters the bird-Winters, and arms himself with a lacrosse stick! “What ‘ya got, Larry? May the best bird win,” declares Winters. It’s no contest, however, as Winters-as-bird handily dodges basketball Bird’s swings. Jumping to reach Winters, Larry Bird crashes through the attic floor, his legs dangling comically through his living room ceiling…

“You may be a legend on the court, but you’re an amateur up here,” mocks wild bird Winters from the rafters. “Now YOU’RE the bird stuck in the attic!”

Once more, nature prevails…as does Dean Winters, whether as a cat, raccoon, deer, St. Bernard puppy, or bird.- – Can he do a fox next?! 🦊

Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal presence, animal problems, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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The Robotic Ghost Furries of “Five Nights At Freddy’s”

March 16, 2024

There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…

Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…

I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’t mind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…

The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…

(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?! And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr! Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊

See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!

*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, biomechanical, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, furry, furry films, furry movies, horror, humor, Questionably creepy, twisted reality
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Comments: 6 Comments

Arm and Hammer “Crazy Hard” Hardball Litter

March 9, 2024

Those Arm and Hammer cats are back, from the same people who brought you a feline John Travolta at the disco a while back! Disclaimer: If seeing cats in bed makes you feel uncomfortable, stay out of their bedroom! But I’m a furry, this is my world, and so just cope with it, OK? No one forces you to be here, after all… 😸

These cats in their bedroom and alternative universe just love to watch videos of the crazy and stupid things that humans do, the same way that folks in our benighted reality love to watch cat videos…and humans do some stupid things, like throw balls of used cat litter around, to see how hard it is. And how hard are they? Crazy hard!

This is lightweight HardBall Litter, after all, and you can even hit clumps of it with a tennis racket against walls. Or throw it downstairs. – -Tsk, the things that these stoopid hyoomans do! Always makes you laugh, though…

And isn‘t this a handsome couple, just enjoying themselves? So what if they’re sharing a bed? We’ve come a long way as a society since Lucy and Ricky Ricardo had separate twin beds in their bedroom! And how do you suppose that kittens are made? Cats got needs, ‘ya know…but we’re not gonna get into that here, this being a semi-respectable blog, and all. Meow… 🐈🐈‍⬛

Categories: advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

“Disenchantment;” the Middle Ages as Buddy Comedy

January 30, 2024

As Monty Python and the Holy Grail memorably showed us, the Middle Ages were not totally dead and dreary times, especially if approached with a sense of wry humor. Simpsons creator Matt Groening does exactly that in Disenchantment on Netflix, and the series works on many levels, especially if you like history, myth, and satire…

While too complex to adequately cover in a single blog post, the series concerns the life and exploits of a medieval princess, Tiabeanie (Bean for short), a teenaged hellion adept at gambling and barroom-style fighting who has modern sensitivities, and rebels against medieval conventions such as arranged royal marriages…

Seeking to chart her own way through life, Bean is accompanied by mythic medieval companions that mirror the duality of her own nature; an innocent, idealistic elf appropriately named Elfo, and a black demon straight from Hell called Luci (short for Lucifer)…

Luci is my standout favorite in the series, a 9,000-year-old demon as inky-black as the original Felix the Cat, and thought by most who encounter him to be a weird, talking cat. Yes, Luci is the furry character in the series, having horns, fangs, and a forked tail, who despite his denials often postures bodily and presents like a cat. Sent from Hell to guide the Princess towards chaos, indulgence, and destruction, Luci proclaims himself to be “the guy who makes you feel good about doing bad.” This is one cool, laid-back, savvy demon!

This cat-like demon evolves, however, taking a serious liking to Princess Bean, becoming a loyal companion, fighting against her foes, and eventually dying for her…a sacrifice so noble that Luci appears before God in heaven, earning the status of ascended demon, a kind of reverse Lucifer, if you will…a bad guy who becomes good!

So catch Disenchantment on Netflix, if only to visit this fantastic, drinking, smoking, drug-ingesting cat-like thing that I’d be pleased to have in my corner, anytime! Bad boys, of course, can make you feel so good! 🦊

Categories: alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, fantasy, furry, humor, Mythological, television, twisted reality
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Dean Winters in “Deer Mayhem…”

January 4, 2024

Dean Winters in his Allstate commercials effectively does a remarkable range of impersonations of objects, types of people, and to my interest, animals. In recent memory he has portrayed a raccoon, large breed puppy, bear, and my personal fave, a cat! Remarkably, he channels all of these creatures with little or no makeup, and often while wearing a suit. He doesn’t require a costume or prosthetics, rendering his minimalist but spot-on impressions by posture, actions, and attitude…

…and so equally masterful is Winters’ impression of a wild deer, emerging from a wooded area chewing on a leaf. He comes to a road, musing “What is this thing?” as he freezes on that surface, because that’s what deer do. Transfixed by the headlights of an approaching car, Winters as deer is thrown up onto the vehicle before landing on the pavement before it, leaving vehicular damage in his wake…

Winters is not a dead deer, however, continuing to address us scuffed up while lying on the road surface. Heck, Mayhem is nigh about indestructible. And if you had Allstate insurance, you might save some bucks, and be saved from Mayhem…like him! 🙀

Categories: advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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