Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category
December 7, 2017
It’s being called everything from a sympathetic re-telling of “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” to an origins story for the Abe Sapien character from Hellboy, but by most accounts The Shape of Water is one of the best films that Guillermo del Toro has produced.
Set circa 1962 during the depths of the Cold War, the fantasy drama concerns the unlikely relationship between a mute female custodian, Elisa, and an intelligent amphibious humanoid creature torn from South America and kept in a secret government laboratory in Baltimore. It’s readily believable for any dabbler in government conspiracy theories. Called “the Asset” by his captors, the being faces exploitation and eventual “harvesting” in order that his biology might be further studied and applied to the space program. As their relationship deepens, the humble cleaning lady resolves to take action to save a unique individual from captivity and worse…and “the Asset” has additional capabilities of his own…
The film works on many levels, and is rightfully up for numerous awards. Seeing it might be the best Xmas present that you could give yourself!
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, aquatic, creature features, cryptozoology, furry, furry perspectives, movies
Tags: films, The Shape of Water
Comments: 3 Comments
December 4, 2017
The S1/Ep2 episode of Terror in the Woods on Destination America was titled Hunted by Bigfoot, and was an hour-long account of a personal encounter with the legendary cryptic creature. In Adams County, Ohio two men both named “Mike” and their son, Jordan, hunted for Bigfoot on their own, equipped with portable voice recorders and amplified listening devices. On October 11, 2014 they drove deeply into the woods, initially setting up by a bridge where they mimicked Bigfoot howls in an effort to lure them in. They successfully recorded howls, tracking them deeper into the woods and ending up in an isolated graveyard at night where they again set up. Knocking on a tree with a baseball bat, they got a response perhaps sixty to seventy yards away. Half an hour later, they heard a howl. Footfalls and a whistling, aggressive howl were perceived coming in two different directions. Coyote sounds were heard joining in, one apparently in distress.
The three decided to leave when the creatures appeared to be drawing closer. They stopped for a deer on the road who appeared to be fixated on something in the woods. Howls heard appeared to shift in front of them as if they were being pursued. One of the men, recounting that he “was excited and scared at the same time,” saw a shadow or dark shape about six to seven feet tall standing by a tree which howled. One of the men pulled his sidearm and went to the treeline where he heard a great inhalation of air followed by a deep, intense roar. He fired a round into the air before they resumed their escape in the vehicle. The son, Jordan, said that the night was life-changing…
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, encounters, strange happenings, television
Tags: Hunted by Bigfoot, Terror in the Woods series
Comments: 2 Comments
December 3, 2017
The S1/Ep6 episode of Terror in the Woods featured an encounter with a cryptid and later a ghost, haunting, or restless spirit encounter. First considered were the adventures of Rodney and fellow campers who were settled in at a campsite in Red River Gorge, Kentucky when a large rock landed near them, followed by others. Guttural vocalizations then came towards night as well as tree-knockings, sounds reportedly generated by Bigfoot creatures hitting limbs against trees. The campers heard bipedal footfalls, and Rodney saw the outline of a large creature, which shunned flashlight beams and began throwing tree limbs. Later into night, camping pans were knocked over, rummaging sounds were heard, and Rodney despite having only a machete exited his tent to see a Bigfoot creature scraping a pan, presumably scavenging food. The creature stood six to seven feet tall, and had broad shoulders and long arms. This Bigfoot made long, angry vocalizations as it made off. The other campers with Rodney were professionals who did’t want to speak of the incident. Rodney, however, continued to wander the woods in later times with a camera and firearm in search of the creature.
The “Catacombs” segment took place in Savannah, Georgia. Ashley and Jess with others climbed down into the catacombs which were located near an abandoned hospital that was used as a quarantine location for yellow fever patients in the late 19th century. Some of the unfortunate patients had tried in the 1800’s to escape the grounds via the catacombs while others were simply contained there. Anyways, the group held a seance in a large chamber of the catacombs and heard a large stone shatter on the wall. The last person in the group to depart the catacombs is reported to have felt a suctioning force on her body which pulled her back into the underground chamber. A second effort to climb up and out was successful, however. It was related that guards were stationed in the catacombs in the past to prevent patients from escaping them, with the inference being that they had encountered one of these spirits, still trying to perform their duty…
Categories: anthropomorphic, controversial, cryptozoology, speculation, television, unexplained
Tags: Bigfoot and the Catacombs, Terror in the Woods series
Comments: 1 Comment
November 27, 2017
One of the latest commercial pitch-beasts is Ernie the Elephant, voiced by John Cena. Although a fish out of water or elephant away from the jungle, Ernie is strangely at home everywhere, and would be infinitely more affable as a symbol of the Republican Party than the sitting American president.
Now Ernie prefers pistachios to peanuts, and touts them for the Wonderful Pistachio company at a variety of sites including a ball field (above) and even in an elevator where he’s set off a weight sensor alarm. Ernie regards pistachios as a healthy snack, which he relates to be important in a age of unrealistic body images; ain’t it the truth! Nothing says healthy snack more than an elephant with saggy gray skin and a ton of junk in the trunk, apparently.
Elephants in commercials are rare, with the icon for Elephant Insurance being the other exemplar who comes to mind. Ernie is far more laid back, however, and if you have to have an elephant in the living room, I’d rather that it be this easy-going guy. In my mad world I’d love to see a cross-over series with cgi animal characters such as Ernie, Chester Cheeto, and the milk-that-messes-with-you cow from the Lactaide commercials…now that’s entertainment!
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Ernie the elephant
Comments: 4 Comments
October 28, 2017
This year brought the novelty of a new Halloween special in the form of Michael Jackson’s Halloween, a 3D animated hour-long special which aired on CBS October 27th, and featured the music of…Michael Jackson! While centering on the efforts of two young people to rescue a dog and defeat an evil witch (Conformity) who wants to banish music and dancing, the high point of the hour to me occurred about seventeen minutes in when the two protagonists guided by a talking Bubbles the Chimp to “follow the music” entered a surreal pumpkin field where Hay Man, a groundskeeping scarecrow with a pumpkin for a head voiced by Jim Parsons (Sheldon from Big Bang Theory), was kind of channeling Michael Jackson in a Jack Skellington-esque way…
With an entourage of dancing pumpkins and forest and field animals (including some foxes), a rather funky rendition of Jackson’s Dangerous was performed, complete with Jackson’s trademark moves and even a pelvic thrust or two. Also memorable was a later encounter with a mad scientist cat voiced by Dietrich Bader, Franklin Stein, creator of a machine to destroy music but really a frustrated musician himself whose technology becomes converted to summon Jackson. And fear not, the evil witch (Lucy Liu) is defeated in a big dance finale by a stylized representation of 1980’s Michael Jackson himself in an outfit reminiscent of his Thriller attire. Music and dancing are safe, so relax…
Jackson enjoyed both scary things and animals, and his presence looms large over this special, both in terms of the soundtrack and assorted images of the performer, seen even in the wallpaper pattern of the mysterious Jackson Street Palace Hotel where much of the action transpires. As someone who appeared in quirky delights such as Disney’s Captain EO and Moonwalker, Michael probably would have liked this “magical adventure of personal discovery,” and we foxes do like to get our groove on!
Categories: animal elements, animal presence, anthropomorphic, furries, television
Tags: Michael Jackson's Halloween
Comments: 3 Comments
October 13, 2017
We all know that monsters prefer to reside either in the closet or under the beds in our bedrooms. Tapping into this childhood fear, a boy summons his parents during the night, afraid that there are monsters in his bedroom. The parents dutifully appear, assuring their son that there are no such monsters, and that Progressive Insurance, not monsters, are keeping watch over them 24/7. Dad then says goodnight and exits before the boy can ask other questions.
“Flo” then appears out of the boy’s closet where she’s been checking the wiring, clad as always in her spotless white uniform…now that’s scary! Also appearing then from under the bed is a wonderful horned and hairy monster who in well-spoken and literate terms expresses concerns over the boy, wondering aloud if something wasn’t going on at school that was making his charge not quite himself…he’s just not engaging!
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have your own private guardian monster? Just the thing to turn loose on telemarketing agents and religious, fund-raising, or political solicitors who come unwanted to your door! I want one for Xmas…and Happy Friday the 13th, buwahahaha!
Categories: anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: bedroom monsters, Progressive's "The Closet"
Comments: 5 Comments
October 11, 2017
With Spooktober here on Destination America, it’s time to delve into the archives a bit and consider a fairly obscure but historically interesting cryptid who reportedly terrorized London in the Victorian era. He was called Spring-Heeled Jack for his supposed ability to execute astonishing leaps, capable apparently of clearing a house in a single bound.
Now numerous images of Jack exist, ranging from the hideous to the almost dashing figure shown here. Most reports describe him as appearing demonic, with clawed hands and prominent red eyes. Jack also had the described ability to spew blue flames at his victims. He was prone to attacking women and making off with children, with surviving victims suffering claw injuries and psychological trauma. His first attack is said to have occurred in 1837, kissing and clawing up a woman who drove him off with her screams. Numerous attacks were said to have taken place in 1838.
Jack’s escapades became the topics of “Penny Dreadful” fiction, and parents used to keep difficult children in line by threats of his appearance. The last recorded sighting of him dates back to 1904. Some have speculated that Spring-Heeled Jack was one of the inspirations for Batman, as you might see suggested by the figure above. And with his last public appearance occurring over 100 years ago, perhaps this Victorian boogeyman is due for a revival, Steampunk being “in” and all…
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, paranormal, speculation, unexplained, urban legends
Tags: Spring-Heeled Jack, Victorian horror
Comments: 5 Comments
September 21, 2017
This is quite the Zen goat, serenely sitting on a couch in a Hotwire tv commercial and playing a sitar. I haven’t heard a sitar played this well since Ravi Shankar, or perhaps Muriel in Courage the Cowardly Dog. Since he’s anthropomorphic, the mountain goat’s name is “Carl,” and he’s in this surreal “No Pressure” environment to help demonstrate that time is a construct of human perception, an illusion like that we are shown of Martin Starr, our host, in an hourglass filling with red sand. Since Hotwire can always get you a great rate, you’re under no pressure to book at a certain time. So book, or don’t…the universe abides irregardless, dig?
And perhaps seated at the hooves of Carl, we could all be wafted away by his sitar music to partake of a little transcendental meditation…groovy, baby! Anyone else up for a ’60’s revival? Bring your Beatles and Jefferson Airplane albums, your Peter Max poster, and of course those psychedelic brownies…far out!
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Hotwire "Time" commercial, sitar-playing goat
Comments: 3 Comments
September 8, 2017
We haven’t seen the Kia Soul hamsters in a while, and this newest arrival…diapered, and fresh out of a hospital delivery ward…runs like a gazelle! Pursued by hospital staff, the little dickens leads all on a merry chase down the corridors, never missing a step and maintaining a healthy lead. Passing through a variety of hospital locales including a kitchen, the little speedster winds up on an elevator where he raises a finger to his nose to admonish an observing little girl not to inform on him. Finally grabbing a sheet to serve as a parachute, he vaults off the top floor of the hospital, descending to land in the back seat of a turbo Kia Soul passing on the street below.
The baby hamster’s name, naturally, is Turbo…and set to the music of Motorhead’s 1980 song, Ace of Spades, the diminutive speedster proves that timing in life is everything…
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials
Tags: Kia hamsters, Kia Soul Turbo
Comments: 3 Comments
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