Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category

Inflatable Car Foxes…

August 10, 2019

I’m seeing him more places; large, inflated Car Foxes, that is! When I beheld my first one of them, I fought an urge to pull my car over, throw myself at his feet, and vow my everlasting love and allegiance. But no, people wouldn’t understand, there would be the court-mandated psychiatric evaluations, and the pushy car salesmen would just try to sell me a Ford or Buick. So for the present I worship from afar, knowing that the great and terrible day of the revolution is almost at hand, and that the vision of those far-seeing eyes and kindly smile may be relied on.  The Car Fox wouldn’t steer me wrong…


…but sometime under cover of darkness, I shall employ my vulpine gifts of stealth and cunning, and slyly return to liberate the Car Fox from his cruel restraints so that he can lead his children, as is his right and destiny! Then the day of reckoning will be at hand, I reckon...

 

 

Chantix’s “Paddleboard Turkey”

July 27, 2019

Well, everybody’s heard about the bird…the Chantix turkey, that is! And while I’m aware that the turkey is paddleboarding rather than surfing, they missed a great chance to use 1963’s Surfin’ Bird by the Trashmen as the sound track for this commercial!

Now there was foreshadowing for this commercial in the last one when we saw the turkey getting out his flip-flops, knocking them together, arranging seashells, and looking at beach scenes on his phone. We shoulda seen this coming, folks. And as I’ve said before, this turkey has a better life than I do. He even returns from his beach visit in the coolest little convertible vehicle that suits him perfectly!

In my twisted mind, I can see Peter Griffin from Family Guy either getting into a dance-off or perhaps a fistfight with the turkey. And like Peter Griffin, “I dream of an America where everybody knows that the bird is the word.” Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow!

“Cats;” Two Paws Up…

July 21, 2019


  

“Cats,” the movie version based on the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical upcoming in December of 2019, promises to be one of those things that you will either love, or passionately hate.  Previously the studio had released little information about the film other than that it was coming out in December.  A trailer is now available of the film, and reactions run to polarizing extremes with either praise or excoriation .

“This is not a cat,” huffs one, “this is an abomination!”  Other descriptions have included the terms horrifying and terrifying.  Why, you may ask, do some people freak out so badly over the early images from Cats?  The answer might lie in the fact that they are not comfortable with the idea of anthropomorphic animals, which in this case involves a blend of live action and CGI animation.  The cats in Cats have human mouths, teeth, and lips blended in with their furry faces along with human hands, and this seems to creep some people out to no end.  Some of the cats wear clothing and others do not, with the female felines who do not showing breast swellings.  The cats also have tails that move and sway, which seems to have phallic connotations for some viewers.  Anthropomorphic representations of the animal characters also seemed to disturb viewers of the Sonic (the Hedgehog) movie.

Those things being said, the cats of Cats move with ballet-like feline grace and are quite engaging once disbelief and initial astonishment is suspended; they show distinct personalities and a variety of moods.  The cats are shrunk down to their appropriate proportional size in their environments, and are not human-sized even if bearing some human features.  The cast is stellar, and includes Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson, Idris Elba, and even Ian McKellan…yes, the actor who played Magneto is playing a cat!  When Jennifer Hudson opens up with her powerhouse voice to sing Memories, time seems to stand still.

I’m hardly objective about all of this, being a furry myself.  I could fit easily into this world, but I can understand the discomfort of those who cannot.  This is entertainment, after all…consider it as something different, not as an affront to reality; you may like it, and it might even grow on you.  Cats the movie is likely to be a big hit for the holidays, with viewers likely to love it, hate it, or simply shrug and say, “that was weird.” Such was the reaction to the original musical, which ultimately became wildly popular.  A tale based upon anthropomorphic cats who sit about introducing themselves until one of them dies is weird by nature, and likely to provoke fur-vor on both sides…

Colonel Chester…

July 10, 2019

The iconic KFC founder and spokesman Colonel Sanders has enjoyed a lively if bizarre post-mortem career, melding into Robocop, being portrayed by Reba McEntire, and even tripping the light fantastic with Mrs.Butterworth.  Now the Colonel has morphed once again to be portrayed by Chester Cheetah, retaining the original’s trademark white suit, beard, and tie.  Frankly, this spokes-cat wears the garb well!

And so it comes to pass that Cheetos mascot Chester Cheetah becomes Colonel Chester to mark the launch of a new Cheetos Sandwich, even skateboarding in his commercial outing.  The popular anthropomorphic mascot is but the latest in a kind of rotating spokesperson concept for the franchise.  Time will tell if he continues to be “dangerously cheesy…

  

 

 

 

The Guilty Pleasures of “BattleBots”

June 21, 2019

  

Robotic fighters have long been a recurring theme in science fiction, and an object of fascination to males like myself who refused to grow up.  From the Richard Matheson story to its adaptation in the Twilight Zone episode “Steel,” inspiration was drawn for the Hugh Jackman movie, “Real Steel.”  As an enabling step towards realization of those fantasies, we also have airing on The Discovery Channel the BattleBots series, a place where the pugilistic arts meet high technology in an arena of mechanical mayhem.

Now the tone of these different sagas varies greatly, with Steel as shown on The Twilight Zone dark and dystopian, and set in the then-distant future world of…(gasp)…1974!  Good ole Battling Maxo could no longer hold his own against the more advanced models then.  Far more family-friendly was Real Steel, a movie more centered upon the relationship of a father and son than upon the robots themselves.  The weekly BattleBots series is a strange spectacle featuring teams of bright people from around the world who at times don costumes and whoop and yell as they yet intently field weaponized remotely-controlled devices against one another in a containing area.  Their creations, often resembling lawn mowers from hell, inflict damage upon their opponents until an adversary is unable to operate, or time for a match runs out.  Although not choreographed, matches borrow from “over-the-top” traditions of professional wrestling, complete with a ring announcer, commentators, and a whipped-up audience waving signs…

…Now, it might be interesting to see some cross-over action on BattleBots, such as seeing those ‘bots versus a Cylon from Battlestar Galactica, or perhaps a Dalek from Dr. Who.- – That ought to drive up the old ratings!

 

Chantix Commercial, “Cold Turkey…”

June 9, 2019


  

In our most recent Chantix commercial, we get to venture inside of the Turkey’s home, and it’s an immaculate, spacious place…certainly nicer than my den!  Now it’s cold inside his home, symbolic of the old “cold turkey” approach to smoking cessation, so the turkey turns off his window air conditioner, and dons a colorful sweater vest…this is the “slow turkey” method, after all…  

Our feathered friend does all kinds of things at home, like tending to his aquarium, moving some sea shell souvenirs, mixing up what appears to be lemonade, and getting his flip-flops out of the closet.  I really don’t know how they will fit on his turkey feet, but he somehow managed to wear hiking boots when we saw him camping.  Yes, it would appear that our boy may be planning a visit to the beach!  I envy him…

Perhaps our next episode will be subtitled, Bird at the Beach, or perhaps more simply, Living With A Turkey.  I’m sure that’s a title that many of us could identify with!  Here are a few other suggested segments:

– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Beach Blanket Bingo!”

– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Fowl Play!”

– – “The Chantix Turkey Meets Rocket Raccoon!”

– – “The Chantix Turkey in “Feathered Fiends!”

– – “Turkey in the White House!” (- -nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

(…the possibilities are unlimited, folks!)

 

“Meet the Best of Geico Winner” Commercial

June 3, 2019


  
Most of the great ones are here…the most iconic Geico spokesmen, that is, in a recent commercial set in their makeup trailer!  We briefly see the Gecko, the squirrels, the sloth, the Caveman (“Let’s do the eyebrows first”), and the contest winner, Kathleen.  But where is the Camel, it’s asked?

“Mr. Big Shot’s got his own trailer,” bitterly answers the Caveman, and we cut to that location, where we see the Camel in the lap of luxury, receiving the ministrations of two makeup artists while he sips on a lemonade and Alonzo Vasquez’s Rollout tune pumps.  Even Joe Camel of cigarette fame never had it this good! – – Ahh, being Number One has its privileges!

The Slowskys in, “Snail Mail”

June 1, 2019



It’s good to see The Slowskys again, especially with Bill Jr. growing up so fast!  Parents Bill and Karolyn continue to live life in the slow lane, loving drip coffee, lay-overs, and being put on hold; heck, they even get snail mail, delivered by an authentic snail!  With today’s posting comes the message that they’ve been invited to a Y2K party, to which Bill Jr. quips, “Wasn’t that like 20 years ago?”

“Oh look, Karolyn, we’ve got a mathematician on our hands,” grouses the father turtle in the Xfinity commercial.- – Ahh, the impetuousness of youth!  Young Bill Jr. is a modern, with-it kinda reptile, however, sporting his headphones and backwards-turned ball cap and tapping away on his Xfinity powered cell phone.  This is a turtle of today’s generation who’s on the move, and headed to the future…

On the Cleanliness of Bears…

May 29, 2019

I, for one, have received entirely too much information about the condition of the youngest Charmin bear’s “heinie.”  The bespectacled youngest brother bear whose name is Dylan, gleefully picks up his underwear from the floor in a commercial, dancing around with it unafraid because “(his) heinie’s clean.”  While I’m sure we can all sleep better with this knowledge, it bears remembering that none of the ursines visibly wear any underwear in their commercials, or for that matter, clothing of any kind whatsoever.  Yes, they are bear naked!  That which is not worn remains pristine regardless of defecation, so Dylan’s boast is pointless…  

So there, bear, with your underwear!  Keep it there, and get out of my hair!

Sierra Trading Post Squirrels, “Exciting Life”

May 3, 2019


In this short advert, the Sierra Trading Post squirrel couple are up in a forest tree, mocking the “silly humans” camping below with their Sierra cooler.  The male exuberantly brags that he buries his food “all over the place” for the excitement of never knowing whether he’s going to find it again, or starve to death. There’s something to be said, I suppose, for living life on the edge…

These squirrels exist somewhere in the nexus of where funny meets cool meets creepy.  There’s something about their paws that I find disquieting, although the squirrels seem to be living life with gusto, whether it’s discussing being run over or starvation.  There’s probably a lesson in here for us…

(…tip o’the pen to CaryComic!)