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Wednesday Addams Actress Dies, the Wednesday Character Still Vibrant…

February 2, 2023

I’m sad to note that Lisa Loring, who portrayed the original Wednesday on the old 1960’s The Addams Family, has died of a stroke at the early age of 64. She assumed the role of Wednesday at the age of five, taking the character from the nameless little girl portrayed first by Charles Addams in his memorable cartoons.

Now prior to the classic TV show, Wednesday didn’t even have a name, prompting Charles Addams himself to name the character, drawing from the rhyme that “Wednesday’s child is full of woe.” Now the early Wednesday character wasn’t as much full of woe as she celebrated it, walking around the mansion with her headless doll that was often identically attired as herself…

It was Christina Ricci who really made Wednesday Addams a breakout character in the two Addams Family movies, however. Her Wednesday was a dynamic, insurmountable force rich with the potential for almost infinite darkness. I really loved Ricci’s Wednesday, who was actually darker than her mother, Morticia.

Jenna Ortega is a worthy successor to the character in the Netflix series simply called, Wednesday. Having been thrown out of eight schools in five years, teenaged Wednesday is sent to Nevermore Academy, where she is depicted as being extremely bright, quite articulate, and of course, dark. She is also quite adept in fencing, archery, and the martial arts, plus plays dark pieces on the cello. Nevermore Academy itself is kind of like a darker version of Harry Potter’s Hogwarts, the student body consisting of vampires, werewolves, sirens, and those with extraordinary psychic abilities. Wednesday fits in there perfectly, and rises to the top of the crop. And yes, Thing is also well represented in the series as Wednesday’s defender and collaborator. Even Wednesday needs a hand sometimes…

Here is an image of the central Addams Family characters in the Tim Burton Wednesday Netflix series. I think that Gomez here actually comes closest to that character’s portrayal of him in the Charles Addams cartoons. Previous film versions were fun and memorable, but Gomez was simply too attractive, continental, and suave…

https://youtu.be/Di310WS8zLk

And imagine, just imagine Wednesday as a furry. She does don cat garb at one point for a competition. A black cat, of course… 🐈‍⬛

Categories: alternative realities, animal rights, Brilliant but twisted, furry, horror, paranormal, Questionably creepy, strange
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Comments: 3 Comments

The NJM Narwhal and Nemesis “Carl…”

January 26, 2023

For a company that boasts of “no talking animals or irritating jingles,” the NJM insurance company has given us some great ones. And what’s wrong with talking animals, I want to know? Sirs, I am one! 🦊

One of the first great talking animals that NJM has given us was this full-suited narwhal. Now it’s not everyday that you run across someone in a narwhal fursuit, and this fellow has the best intentions…he just wants to audition to be the NJM mascot, and gets zero tolerance. The poor fellow seems to have a flaccid horn…don’t they have a drug now that you can take for that? No wait, that’s the infamous “bent carrot” commercials for Peyronie’s Disease, thanks to which we’ll never see misshaped carrots the same way again…aargh! 😾

Anyways, the NJM receptionist sics laid-back security guard Carl on the poor would-be narwhal mascot to usher him from the building. Wearing a full-body narwhal costume isn’t all peaches and crèam; it’s easy to fall on stairs, for example…

Now Carl the Security Guard played by Scott Watson ordinarily has a boring and uneventful job, except when blue narwhals show up. He is unflappable, and plays the role to deadpan perfection, even in this surreal circumstance. He is the perfect foil to the irrepressible narwhal, ebulliently played by Jared M. Smith.

The narwhal is not easily discouraged or defeated, and in subsequent commercials tries to re-enter the premises, including by vehicle again to be thwarted by Carl. “I’m outta here!,” blusters the narwhal, only to find that his flippers make poor appendages for operating a car…

So catch the delightful rivalry of Narwhal vs. Carl, which to me is vaguely reminiscent of Charlie the Tuna trying to get Starkist to take him in those old commercials. This might be a great live action cartoon…

And now for the first time ever, we bring you the fox-narwhal hybrid. Yes, I think I could get into that character! Please note that my horn isn’t floppy or bent. Everyone sing now: “Fox-narwhals, fox-narwhals, swimming in the ocean, and causing a commotion, because they are so awesome…“

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, aquatic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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Comments: 6 Comments

Liberty Mutual’s “Catchy Tune…Squirrel Squad”

January 24, 2023

If you’ve ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese place or visited the Orlando, Florida area in times past, you’ve probably had contact with those animatronic animal robot bands that may have been high tech at one time, but now are more cornball and laughable than anything else. Liberty Mutual recreates the look and feel of those vintage robot animal bands in their recent commercial, “Catchy Tune.” You see, if a catchy tune can be implanted as an ear worm in your head, perhaps you’ll be more likely to think of the company or product it promotes should you want to buy something as mundane and unexciting as insurance.

What’s more, it appears that this animatronic Squirrel Squad band exists on a miniature stage neatly squirreled away (pun intended) right inside a wall of your very own house, ready to be summoned forth at any time! That would get old in what…a minute or two? You might even say that this Squirrel Squad would drive you nuts! What would be more appropriate, actually? But I kinda like the drummer…and hey, these guys work for peanuts! I demand pizza or some Chinese noms…. 🦊



(What?…I’ve played a few gigs…)

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 4 Comments

“Catering by Linda” Progressive Commercial…

January 20, 2023

The world of anthropomorphic singing fruits and vegetables is one that I usually don’t visit, being that it’s too “trippy” for me if not outright nightmare fuel. One wonders exactly what spices small business owner “Linda” is adding to her stewpot, but I’ll leave that to the authorities to determine…

Anyways, as singing carrots, onions, and other ingredients tunefully offer themselves and others of their kind to Linda’s blade for slicing and dicing, we are wondering if we’re witnessing renegade Muppets, a rejected episode of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, or perhaps some kind of off-beat horror movie. An assistant then advises Linda that their delivery van has been sideswiped, and she must inspect the loss of mirror there suffered, and then call Progressive, through which she has small business insurance…

It’s not long thereafter that Linda can return to “living the dream,” unless you are one of her ingredients, I suppose, who must then be living a nightmare… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

NJM’s “The Breakup” Walrus…

January 16, 2023

I find anthropomorphic walruses rather unsettling, although I’ve seen some portly balding dudes with brushy mustaches who rather resembled walruses; think Wilford Brimley! NJM has brought us some rather outstanding anthropomorphic animals in the past, including a standout ferret. He was a winner, whereas this guy is just disturbing…

In the commercial, the lady announces to her walrus dinner-date who symbolizes her former insurance company that she is breaking up with him, and going with NJM, a company that the walrus notes does not even have a mascot. The walrus is disturbed, and leaves in a huff, announcing that he is not then paying for dinner! The lady says that this is fine, as she’s saving money with NJM. The walrus waddles off in a huff, leaving us to notice the amazing details in his costume, flippers and all. I just think that the commercial could have gotten more into some walrus behaviors, like having him throw down an entire raw fish for dinner.

It’s important to remember that no actual walruses feelings were hurt in the making of this commercial.- – Goo goo goo joob!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 6 Comments

Shape-shifting in ‘Toons, Circa 1930…

January 4, 2023

It’s easy to think that the notion of shape-shifting from human to animal or animal to human form is a relatively modern notion, whereas references to it can be found dating across cultures from hundreds to thousands of years ago. To limit our discussion of shape-shifting, we’re just going to consider one early example of it occurring in the cartoon world…

Now the character of Betty Boop began as kind of an anthropomorphic French poodle who first appeared in Dizzy Dishes crafted by animation pioneer Max Fleisher. She was the girlfriend of Bimbo, a mischievous, trouble-making dog (below)…

Yes, I still like this guy, echoes of whom reverberated in 1960’s counter-culture cartoon art such as that created by Robert Crumb and others. Yet it was Betty who the viewing public latched onto, and within a year, her long dog ears had morphed into earrings, and her black dog nose had become tiny and human. Moreover, the evolved Betty was hawt, a caricature of a 1920’s flapper girl, and…gasp…a sexual woman!

Consider how female cartoon characters were commonly portrayed at the time, for example, Disney’s Minnie Mouse. It’s hard to imagine anyone being turned on by Minnie, including Mickey. But Betty had it all going on, although her features were described as neotenous, with the enlarged head, big eyes, and small limbs reminiscent of those of an infant or young child. Betty’s catch phrase of Boop-oop-a-doop was also evocative of infantile “baby talk.” So hot was Betty that she had to be toned down a bit for the general viewing audience that included children…

It must last be considered who was the real life model in styling for the cartoon character of Betty Boop. While several people have claimed credit for that honor and even litigated for the recognition, credit should actually be given to an African-American woman by the name of “Baby” Esther Jones, who died in 1984, and was an accomplished singer and dancer in Harlem…

So to paraphrase an old ditty, “Don’t worry if you work hard, and your rewards are few. Remember that Betty Boop was once a dog like you!”

Categories: alternative realities, anthropomorphic, cartoons, furry, furry art, retro cool
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Festivus, now more than ever!

December 23, 2022

I would be remiss if I failed to wish you a Happy Festivus this December 23rd! Festivus…for the Rest of Us, is to remember all of us who feel disconnected from the joy of the holiday season. Perhaps you are tired of Xmas promotions since October, are flat broke from spending money you don’t really have to prove that you care about certain people, dread the thought of spending time with relatives you hate, or simply can’t stand to hear Holly Jolly Xmas one more time. Come to Festivus, all ye who are Xmas weary and heavy laden before it even begins! Festivus has a big tent!

Now Festivus has a rich if artificial tradition, and is highly therapeutic, all without the prohibitive expenses of psychotherapy. Beginning with the Airing of Grievances, Festivus allows you to tell other people near you exactly how they’ve disappointed you, and what problems you have with them! Talk about clearing the air…

And Festivus, first presented in a 1997 Seinfeld episode, is all about simplicity. No need for an elaborate natural tree with decorations…you simply need to put up an aluminum pole that can be stored in a crawl space, and used year after year. Talk about eco-friendly!

As Festivus rolls on, you progress to the Feats of Strength, much like wrestling where a designated person grapples with the head of the family…and remember, Festivus isn’t over until you pin them! Yow, that one must have hurt!

So if all of this talk about the traditions of Festivus “scratches you where you itch,” it’s not a coincidence…it’s a Festivus miracle! I feel strangely purged and better already! 🦊

And Merry Xmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanza, and Happy Festivus to all from Foxsylvania!

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, holidays, television
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Comments: 5 Comments

“Bambi: The Reckoning“ Is Coming!

December 7, 2022

I have to admit that I am not a great fan of hunting. Perhaps that’s because hunters consider those of my kind varmints, and perhaps it’s because I abhor seeing the spectacle of lifeless deer strapped to cars during hunting season in my state. We all know what hunters did to Bambi’s mother. And I say that payback time is hell…

I have a personal history with the Disney movie, Bambi. It was the first movie that my mother took me to. Think of it, I was five years old, and my own mother takes me to see a stag flick! Is it any wonder that I would grow up to be a furry? But enough of my childhood trauma. With a number of beloved childhood classics now falling into the public domain, they are now subject to revisionist treatment, and what’s coming out is either darkly hilarious or simply horrific, depending on your perspectives.

And so from the folks who brought you Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, we have upcoming Bambi: The Reckoning! Let the hooves fall where they may, I guess…

Forget the 1942 Disney film with its tale of loss, life, and love..this is an extremely dark retelling of the original 1928 story, with Bambi retooled as a vicious killing machine on rabies. Yes, I…CAN…DIG IT!!!

Now the source material of the Bambi character is a 1928 novel by Felix Salten innocently named Bambi, A Life in the Woods. The original story passed into the public domain in 2022, and so is fair game for a horror movie treatment. The 1942 Disney version is not. Film maker Scott Jeffrey will not be allowed to use any of Disney’s character design for Bambi, but is rather drawing inspiration from a Netflix production called, The Ritual. In it, we will see Bambi’s transformation into a revenge-driven nightmare following the slaughter of his mother by hunters. One can hardly blame the guy…

Production begins in January of 2023, so no trailers are currently available, and all we have is a hint of the new character design. I, for one, will cheer on the exploits of this Rambuck. So bust ‘em up, Bambi! Let the games begin… 🦊

One can hardly do better, however, than this SNL visitation of the same theme. Enjoy!

Categories: alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry movies, movies
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Comments: 8 Comments

“Break Free” VW Tiguan Commercial…

November 22, 2022

As the movie Lamb showed us, sheep have been, well, shorn of proper respect and attention in the animal kingdom. They have untapped potential as pets and child-surrogates. This is brought to our attention in a recent commercial for Volkswagen’s Tiguan.

So what happens when you allow a wayward sheep into your VW Tiguan, and take him home with you? Well, he or she becomes much like a dog, hanging out the vehicle’s window, and making themselves at home in your home, demanding walks, drinking from the toilet, making a mess when you’re away, and adorably taking a bath while bleating.—Ahh, the many joys of pet-parenting!

Life gets bigger, you see, when you break from the herd. So “make your own kind of music.” Who am I to judge? Just don’t call your new ovine pet Lambchop. They might get the wrong idea…🐑

And a Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! 🦊





Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 5 Comments

“The Great Wolves Have Arrived” Commercial…

November 18, 2022

The Great Wolf Lodge commercials can be somewhat disconcerting. They are enormous wolves, you see, of a size that makes even dire wolves look wimpy. Fortunately they are friendly, and you ride them like oversized horses to the Great Wolves Lodge resorts…

A mother leaves work to find a Great Wolf waiting for her, and so rides him to pick up her son at school, even though the son would be barely a morsel for the wolf should he turn predacious. But not to worry! These wolves are just the iconic mascots for the family indoor water parks, which started in Wisconsin in 1997, and now have 19 locations…

Nothing brings the pack together like a trip to one of their indoor water resorts, so the commercial’s tagline is to “strengthen the pack!” We may all be grateful that these fantasy wolves are both imaginary and quite docile… 🦊

https://fb.watch/gT8kNjTyYx/


Categories: advertising, alternative realities, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

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