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“Feed The Pig” Chase Commercial…

July 6, 2024

I find the “Feed The Pig” PSA commercial creepy, surreal, and oddly disquieting in that it features a human-sized pig, the walking and riding embodiment of a piggy bank, going about with a gaping slot in his head! The pig’s eyes are disturbingly human, while his face is frozen, and plastic-looking.

There is something terribly wrong here! With the gash in his head, the commercial makes me wonder who did this to the pig?! Is there some kind of Dr. Mengele or Dr. Moreau who goes about performing brain surgery on porcine members of the furry fandom, or what? What is the purpose of this mutilation? This pig walks, but is he brain-damaged? For some insane reason, this pig appears happy, and is just going about his business…does the pig even know what’s been done to him, or is he too neurologically-damaged?!

In the commercial, a young man shopping receives a text message that his bank balance is low, spots the pig walking along, and then hastily pursues him through a variety of scenes, the pig at one point riding a motor scooter, riding on an escalator, and in another appearing on a subway. The chase continues through the food prep area of a fine dining facility, and through the restaurant itself. The young man is in hot and frantic pursuit, dodging traffic, and even vaulting over a yoga class in a park to the sound effect of the Bionic Man, Steve Austin, jumping…

Eventually, the guy catches up with the pig outside a residence, tackles him, and stuffs a currency bill into the slot on his head! They are surprisingly polite to one another. “Same time next week?,” asks the dude of the the pig. “Well of course!,” the pig obligingly replies…

Created by the American Institute of CPAs and the Advertising Council in in the U.S., the Feed The Pig series of commercials is designed to get young people saving. I get it…but it’s also nightmare fuel! (*shudders*)

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, furry television, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

“Mayhem” Goes Insectile!

June 6, 2024

What’s buzzin’, Cousin? The Mayhem Bee, that’s what! With seemingly no limitations to the number of species that Dean Winters can impersonate, he’s a mighty mite as a bee, attired as always in a conservative suit, and sans makeup. Other animals that Winters has channeled have included a deer, cat, raccoon, St. Bernard pup, bear, and bird!

In this Allstate commercial spot, Winters dons wings, and in his diminutive state buzzes the lady driver of a car in motion, distracting her and shouting “Boo!” into her ear. She looses control, and the car careens wildly before wrecking. Even Winters in his bee-form isn’t immune to the laws of physics, however, winding up mashed against the interior of the windshield. “What a buzz-kill!,” he proclaims…

Some of us, including yours truly, can remember those thrilling days of crank-powered car windows, when stinging insects could enter open rear windows, leaving you no way of driving them out short of pulling over off the road. – – Ahh, the memories of near calamity that this commercial evokes! And three cheers for the very talented Dean Winters!

Categories: advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, insects
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Comments: 16 Comments

NJM’s “Basement Storage” Commercial…

May 23, 2024

It’s kinda like the “Island of Misfit Toys” from the 1960’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Xmas classic…NJM’s “Basement Storage” commercial, that is!

From their “No Jingles or Mascots” campaign, we see a rather remarkable animatronic elephant wheeled in, complete with a well-articulated trunk.  Activating once his human depositor leaves, the elephant wonders if he’s in mascot heaven.  He’s not in mascot heaven or hell, but purgatory might be more like it…the elephant has landed in a basement storage area for mascots unwanted and unused by NJM, mascot-companions for the elephant that include a gorilla and lion… 🙀

Unfortunately, the rejected would-be mascot elephant appears to short out, then repeating his initial query about whether he’s in mascot heaven.  ” Oh boy!,” comments the gorilla…

It’s not easy being robotic…

Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 4 Comments

Allstate’s “Wild Bird” Commercial…

March 19, 2024

Allstate’s Dean Winters as the redoubtable “Mayhem” is doing animal impersonations again, this time as a wild bird stuck in the attic of basketball legend Larry Bird. – -What, you’ve never seen a bird in a suit before?! That absurdity is part of the humor. Well, once again Winters pulls his animal act off, bonking his head against an attic window to show his entrapment, knocking stuff about, and announcing that he’s “going cuckoo…”

All of the ruckus draws the now senior Bird out of his comfy chair into his attic, where he encounters the bird-Winters, and arms himself with a lacrosse stick! “What ‘ya got, Larry? May the best bird win,” declares Winters. It’s no contest, however, as Winters-as-bird handily dodges basketball Bird’s swings. Jumping to reach Winters, Larry Bird crashes through the attic floor, his legs dangling comically through his living room ceiling…

“You may be a legend on the court, but you’re an amateur up here,” mocks wild bird Winters from the rafters. “Now YOU’RE the bird stuck in the attic!”

Once more, nature prevails…as does Dean Winters, whether as a cat, raccoon, deer, St. Bernard puppy, or bird.- – Can he do a fox next?! 🦊

Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal presence, animal problems, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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Comments: 1 Comment

NJM’s “Private Eye” Commercial…

March 14, 2024

Private eyes…gumshoes…private dicks….I’ve always loved ‘em, especially in retro versions, or neo-ones like Rorschach of Watchmen. So when I saw this private eye walking into a dimly-lit diner, soft jazz playing in the background, this fox was hooked…

This private eye had the full look, complete with fedora and trench coat. His client, however, was an oddball…not that I should talk…and what exactly was he? When I first glimpsed him, I thought that he looked like ALF, the Alien Life Form popular for a few years on 80’s television. He seemed at first to have an elongated snout, and was definitely a furry…

…but no, not ALF. Maybe some kinda bovine, I dunno. Anyway, the detective brought him the information he sought, but he wasn’t gonna like it. It seems, ‘ya see, that NJM only had their customer’s best interests at heart, and there was no way that the mascot client could compete with that…

And ALF, I still remember ‘ya, buddy…but don’t even think about eating my cat!

Categories: advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 2 Comments

Arm and Hammer “Crazy Hard” Hardball Litter

March 9, 2024

Those Arm and Hammer cats are back, from the same people who brought you a feline John Travolta at the disco a while back! Disclaimer: If seeing cats in bed makes you feel uncomfortable, stay out of their bedroom! But I’m a furry, this is my world, and so just cope with it, OK? No one forces you to be here, after all… 😸

These cats in their bedroom and alternative universe just love to watch videos of the crazy and stupid things that humans do, the same way that folks in our benighted reality love to watch cat videos…and humans do some stupid things, like throw balls of used cat litter around, to see how hard it is. And how hard are they? Crazy hard!

This is lightweight HardBall Litter, after all, and you can even hit clumps of it with a tennis racket against walls. Or throw it downstairs. – -Tsk, the things that these stoopid hyoomans do! Always makes you laugh, though…

And isn‘t this a handsome couple, just enjoying themselves? So what if they’re sharing a bed? We’ve come a long way as a society since Lucy and Ricky Ricardo had separate twin beds in their bedroom! And how do you suppose that kittens are made? Cats got needs, ‘ya know…but we’re not gonna get into that here, this being a semi-respectable blog, and all. Meow… 🐈🐈‍⬛

Categories: advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

Aliens, Seeking to Rent…

February 24, 2024

Jeff Goldblum is an awesome dude. He knows dinosaurs, has blended his genes with a fly, and is equally comfortable with aliens, fighting them or otherwise. In a recent Apartments.com commercial, he is part of a group having a first encounter with arthropod aliens that have been described as giant ants, but I also see some resemblance in them to Star Trek’s Species 8472. In either case, they’re quite cool as well. The hard-headed military types in the group of humans seem all too willing to open fire, but Goldblum knows better. These aliens are just looking for a rental apartment, probably in a good location, and not too expensive…

And these aliens argue amongst themselves as to whether they want a one or two bedroom apartment; two would accomodate her mother when she comes to visit, so of course the guy is in favor of a single bedroom model.  In either case, Jeff Goldblum is tuned to their wavelength, and sure to be able to fix them up.  They’re just extraterrentrials.  Some things seem to be universal, after all…  🦊

Categories: advertising, aliens, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, sci fi, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

Progressive Commercial “Sting” Operation…

February 8, 2024

What?!- – Say it ain’t so! Progressive Insurance’s Jamie in cahoots with bank robbers, and ones wearing cat masks, to boot? Well, Jamie is the eternal innocent, and when he signed on to be a wheelman, he didn’t understand that title to mean an escape car driver. Rather, wheelman is an old family name for Jamie..it’s Irish!

So when three cat animal-headed robbers make a hasty exit from the bank, Jamie cheerfully asks them if they’ve gotten their banking done.Unfortunately for the robbers, Jamie’s in no hurry to burn rubber leaving, either.He pulls out slowly, almost immediately stopping at a stop sign where he times the stop by counting 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, etc.Jamie deals with their befuddlement by sharing that he has Progressive’s “Snapshot” feature, which rewards good, but not speedy drivers. These robbers are screwed…

And I guess that you could say that these were cat burglars. I envy them their masks…

Categories: advertising, animal occurrences, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, fursuits, television
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Comments: 9 Comments

Dean Winters in “Deer Mayhem…”

January 4, 2024

Dean Winters in his Allstate commercials effectively does a remarkable range of impersonations of objects, types of people, and to my interest, animals. In recent memory he has portrayed a raccoon, large breed puppy, bear, and my personal fave, a cat! Remarkably, he channels all of these creatures with little or no makeup, and often while wearing a suit. He doesn’t require a costume or prosthetics, rendering his minimalist but spot-on impressions by posture, actions, and attitude…

…and so equally masterful is Winters’ impression of a wild deer, emerging from a wooded area chewing on a leaf. He comes to a road, musing “What is this thing?” as he freezes on that surface, because that’s what deer do. Transfixed by the headlights of an approaching car, Winters as deer is thrown up onto the vehicle before landing on the pavement before it, leaving vehicular damage in his wake…

Winters is not a dead deer, however, continuing to address us scuffed up while lying on the road surface. Heck, Mayhem is nigh about indestructible. And if you had Allstate insurance, you might save some bucks, and be saved from Mayhem…like him! 🙀

Categories: advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 2 Comments

NJM’s “Snowman” Commercial…

December 6, 2023

What could be more Christmas-y than a cute, smiling snowman? The one in this NJM insurance commercial is even rather pint-sized, so he’s not particularly menacing. Two kids are crafting the snowman, one of which looks a bit like Ralphie in A Christmas Story. And wouldn’t ‘ya know it, once they put Dad’s ball cap on said snowman, he’s comes to life in the best Frosty the Snowman tradition…

Rather than lead the kids in a parade, this snowman begins to sing about Polar insurance, “the coolest around,” He waves his stick-branch arms cheerfully about. The kids scream, and run away; Mom and Dad are still standing there, however, and the insurance-shilling snowman asks them if they have any hot chocolate. One wonders if the snowman has a death wish…

For a company that prides itself in having no mascots, NJM has produced for us some of the best mascots around…a variety, no less!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, humor, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 2 Comments

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