Jeff Goldblum is an awesome dude. He knows dinosaurs, has blended his genes with a fly, and is equally comfortable with aliens, fighting them or otherwise. In a recent Apartments.com commercial, he is part of a group having a first encounter with arthropod aliens that have been described as giant ants, but I also see some resemblance in them to Star Trek’s Species 8472. In either case, they’re quite cool as well. The hard-headed military types in the group of humans seem all too willing to open fire, but Goldblum knows better. These aliens are just looking for a rental apartment, probably in a good location, and not too expensive…
And these aliens argue amongst themselves as to whether they want a one or two bedroom apartment; two would accomodate her mother when she comes to visit, so of course the guy is in favor of a single bedroom model. In either case, Jeff Goldblum is tuned to their wavelength, and sure to be able to fix them up. They’re just extraterrentrials. Some things seem to be universal, after all… š¦
What?!- – Say it ain’t so! Progressive Insurance’s Jamie in cahoots with bank robbers, and ones wearing cat masks, to boot? Well, Jamie is the eternal innocent, and when he signed on to be a wheelman, he didn’t understand that title to mean an escape car driver. Rather, wheelman is an old family name for Jamie..itās Irish!
So when three cat animal-headed robbers make a hasty exit from the bank, Jamie cheerfully asks them if they’ve gotten their banking done.Unfortunately for the robbers, Jamie’s in no hurry to burn rubber leaving, either.He pulls out slowly, almost immediately stopping at a stop sign where he times the stop by counting 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, etc.Jamie deals with their befuddlement by sharing that he has Progressive’s “Snapshot” feature, which rewards good, but not speedy drivers. These robbers are screwed…
And I guess that you could saythat these were cat burglars. I envy them their masks…
Dean Winters in his Allstate commercials effectively does a remarkable range of impersonations of objects, types of people, and to my interest, animals. In recent memory he has portrayed a raccoon, large breed puppy, bear, and my personal fave, a cat! Remarkably, he channels all of these creatures with little or no makeup, and often while wearing a suit. He doesnāt require a costume or prosthetics, rendering his minimalist but spot-on impressions by posture, actions, and attitudeā¦
ā¦and so equally masterful is Wintersā impression of a wild deer, emerging from a wooded area chewing on a leaf. He comes to a road, musing āWhat is thisthing?ā as he freezes on that surface, because thatās what deer do. Transfixed by the headlights of an approaching car, Winters as deer is thrown up onto the vehicle before landing on the pavement before it, leaving vehicular damage in his wakeā¦
Winters is not a dead deer, however, continuing to address us scuffed up while lying on the road surface. Heck, Mayhem is nigh about indestructible. And if you had Allstate insurance, you might save some bucks, and be saved from Mayhemā¦like him! š
What could be more Christmas-y than a cute, smiling snowman? The one in this NJM insurance commercial is even rather pint-sized, so heās not particularly menacing. Two kids are crafting the snowman, one of which looks a bit like Ralphie in A Christmas Story. And wouldnāt āya know it, once they put Dadās ball cap on said snowman, heās comes to life in the best Frosty the Snowman traditionā¦
Rather than lead the kids in a parade, this snowman begins to sing about Polar insurance, āthe coolest around,ā He waves his stick-branch arms cheerfully about. The kids scream, and run away; Mom and Dad are still standing there, however, and the insurance-shilling snowman asks them if they have any hot chocolate. One wonders if the snowman has a death wishā¦
For a company that prides itself in having no mascots, NJM has produced for us some of the best mascots aroundā¦a variety, no less!
Drama Queens (and Kings, letās be honest) are just about everywhere on the internet. You can barely enter a forum without encountering at least one, and they are easy to ātrigger.ā So it is appropriate that Dramamine has unveiled a spokes-animal that is an actual drama-llama, trying to get Rachel nervous about an upcoming flightā¦
ā¦walking with her, the drama llama reminds the air traveler that she got nauseous during a previous flight, that the flight may get bumpy, and that she has a middle seat. But when Rachel whips out her box of Dramamine, the llama audibly gasps, stands back as the jet door closes, and tells the passenger that he or she is gonna wait right there!
Although the llamaās voice sounds male, if female would the drama llama be a momma? And at night time, would she be a drama llama in pajamas? Inquiring minds wanna knowā¦
So if you see a drama llama, donāt feed it unless with Dramamineā¦and donāt confuse a drama lama with an emo alpaca, eitherā¦ š¦
This commercial for Mountain Dew blew me away…totally! It’s definitely furry-friendly. Three persons figure in it. A guy is working on his computer in a large office. He stares at his complexion on his monitor, and he is reptilian. A young womanin a diner happens to stare out the window, and sees her reflection as an exotic bird. A third guy is throwing out garbage in an alley, looks up, and sees his image as feline. This furry trio has gotta do the town, and they do!
We see these guys individually and collectively, the reptile viewing his reflection in an elevator glass and the big cat viewing his paw appendages. They go places, too, like a pool hall, making a fine entrance and getting admiring glances. The reptilian is shown performing in some kind of trendy club, playing to a receptive audience. Two of them are shown in an off-road vehicle.There’s no stopping these guys as they make the world their own in their idealized furry forms…
So enjoy…I think that someone out there in commercial-land finally understands the furry experience, and the inner self!And I’d drink a boatload of Mountain Dew if it would transform me… š¦
Allstateās āMayhemā personification Dean Winters is a delight, often playing animal characters in commercials without any attempt made at animal costuming. You only know what he is impersonating because he tells you what he is, and is thinkingā¦and acts the part! Dean Winters has memorably played in Allstate commercials a cat, raccoon, and St. Bernard puppyā¦
āIām a bear,ā offers Winters, ācoming out of hibernation after the best nap of my life. And Papa is HUNGRY!ā What, youāve never seen a bear in a suit before? He comes up through the forest to the partially opened window of an SUV, peering through it in an exploratory fashionā¦
Without effort, Winters/Bear rips the door off the SUV, going inside in search of food. āAnd while youāre hitting the trail,ā he elaborates, āIām hitting your cooler!ā Foodstuff goes flying out of the vehicle, with Winers happy to find some hot dog rollsā¦
When heās done, our well-dressed bear whaps the mirror off the side of the vehicle, just for good measure. Now your insurance may not pay for all of this devastation, so you may wanna get Allstate to be protected from Mayhem, reminds Wintersā¦āLike me!ā He roars unconvincinglyas he walks off, his job there doneā¦
Being a mascot therapist must be a highly specialized niche within psychotherapy, and a sweet gig if you can get it. The clients are all quite remarkable, like the green catfish mascot whoās questioning his whole existence, and having anxiety over the fact that NJM has no mascots. āIdentity crisis,ā writes the therapist dutifully in her note padā¦
Prompted to tell her more, the giant catfish comments almost tearfully that he also can’t seem to blink. āI meant more about NJM,ā redirects the therapist.– –Ohh, the angst, the suffering here!We hear a muffled wailing sound, and the scene shifts to the waiting room, where we see a penguin and a robot mascot on the couch, awaiting their turn with the doctor. They are all good mascots with their tales of woe, no doubt, but unfortunately NJM doesnāt use mascots. Pity that, because these all look like good mascotsā¦
Now if these fellows canāt find employment as mascots, surely they could fit into the Otherkin communityā¦ š¦
Being kidnapped by a giant rabbit is probably not one of the fears or phobias that you have, but after viewing this commercial, it may become one! These aggressive pursuit-rabbits are physically waylaying people in a variety of settings, carrying or dragging them to the Tubi streaming service rabbit hole, and casting them into it! Think that youāre safe in your car? Think againā¦the bunnies mob a group of vehicles stopped in traffic, extracting their occupants. Theyāll kick your chair out from under you, and drag you by your heels! Itās a curious mix of cuteness meets the unexpectedly terrifying. Yes, thereās a Donnie Darko vibe here, and the rabbits are not especially gentleā¦
As they are flung down the enormous rabbit-hole (one is kicked) , the victims do not suffer cardiac arrest, but seemingly have expressions of surprised delight on their faces from the many Tubi offerings that they behold during their descent. So much for fear of fallingā¦this may be the last thing that you seeā¦
Not the best known streaming service, Tubiās intent during their 2023 Super Bowl ads seems to be to make people aware of their existence through a novel device. āFind rabbit holes you didnāt know you were looking for?ā You may never see rabbits the same way againā¦ š
For a company that boasts of āno talking animals or irritating jingles,ā the NJM insurance company has given us some great ones. And whatās wrong with talking animals, I want to know? Sirs, I am one! š¦
One of the first great talking animals that NJM has given us was this full-suited narwhal. Now itās not everyday that you run across someone in a narwhal fursuit, and this fellow has the best intentionsā¦he just wants to audition to be the NJM mascot, and gets zero tolerance. The poor fellow seems to have a flaccid hornā¦donāt they have a drug now that you can take for that? No wait, thatās the infamous ābent carrotā commercials for Peyronieās Disease, thanks to which weāll never see misshaped carrots the same way againā¦aargh! š¾
Anyways, the NJM receptionist sics laid-back security guard Carl on the poor would-be narwhal mascot to usher him from the building. Wearing a full-body narwhal costume isnāt all peaches and crĆØam; itās easy to fall on stairs, for exampleā¦
Now Carl the Security Guard played by Scott Watson ordinarily has a boring and uneventful job, except when blue narwhals show up. He is unflappable, and plays the role to deadpan perfection, even in this surreal circumstance. He is the perfect foil to the irrepressible narwhal, ebulliently played by Jared M. Smith.
The narwhal is not easily discouraged or defeated, and in subsequent commercials tries to re-enter the premises, including by vehicle again to be thwarted by Carl. āIām outta here!,ā blusters the narwhal, only to find that his flippers make poor appendages for operating a carā¦
So catch the delightful rivalry of Narwhal vs. Carl, which to me is vaguely reminiscent of Charlie the Tuna trying to get Starkist to take him in those old commercials. This might be a great live action cartoonā¦
And now for the first time ever, we bring you the fox-narwhal hybrid. Yes, I think I could get into that character! Please note that my horn isn’t floppy or bent. Everyone sing now: “Fox-narwhals, fox-narwhals, swimming in the ocean, and causing a commotion, because they are so awesome…“
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