Archive for the ‘advertising’ category

Chantix Commercial, “Cold Turkey…”

June 9, 2019


  

In our most recent Chantix commercial, we get to venture inside of the Turkey’s home, and it’s an immaculate, spacious place…certainly nicer than my den!  Now it’s cold inside his home, symbolic of the old “cold turkey” approach to smoking cessation, so the turkey turns off his window air conditioner, and dons a colorful sweater vest…this is the “slow turkey” method, after all…  

Our feathered friend does all kinds of things at home, like tending to his aquarium, moving some sea shell souvenirs, mixing up what appears to be lemonade, and getting his flip-flops out of the closet.  I really don’t know how they will fit on his turkey feet, but he somehow managed to wear hiking boots when we saw him camping.  Yes, it would appear that our boy may be planning a visit to the beach!  I envy him…

Perhaps our next episode will be subtitled, Bird at the Beach, or perhaps more simply, Living With A Turkey.  I’m sure that’s a title that many of us could identify with!  Here are a few other suggested segments:

– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Beach Blanket Bingo!”

– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Fowl Play!”

– – “The Chantix Turkey Meets Rocket Raccoon!”

– – “The Chantix Turkey in “Feathered Fiends!”

– – “Turkey in the White House!” (- -nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

(…the possibilities are unlimited, folks!)

 

“Meet the Best of Geico Winner” Commercial

June 3, 2019


  
Most of the great ones are here…the most iconic Geico spokesmen, that is, in a recent commercial set in their makeup trailer!  We briefly see the Gecko, the squirrels, the sloth, the Caveman (“Let’s do the eyebrows first”), and the contest winner, Kathleen.  But where is the Camel, it’s asked?

“Mr. Big Shot’s got his own trailer,” bitterly answers the Caveman, and we cut to that location, where we see the Camel in the lap of luxury, receiving the ministrations of two makeup artists while he sips on a lemonade and Alonzo Vasquez’s Rollout tune pumps.  Even Joe Camel of cigarette fame never had it this good! – – Ahh, being Number One has its privileges!

The Slowskys in, “Snail Mail”

June 1, 2019



It’s good to see The Slowskys again, especially with Bill Jr. growing up so fast!  Parents Bill and Karolyn continue to live life in the slow lane, loving drip coffee, lay-overs, and being put on hold; heck, they even get snail mail, delivered by an authentic snail!  With today’s posting comes the message that they’ve been invited to a Y2K party, to which Bill Jr. quips, “Wasn’t that like 20 years ago?”

“Oh look, Karolyn, we’ve got a mathematician on our hands,” grouses the father turtle in the Xfinity commercial.- – Ahh, the impetuousness of youth!  Young Bill Jr. is a modern, with-it kinda reptile, however, sporting his headphones and backwards-turned ball cap and tapping away on his Xfinity powered cell phone.  This is a turtle of today’s generation who’s on the move, and headed to the future…

On the Cleanliness of Bears…

May 29, 2019

I, for one, have received entirely too much information about the condition of the youngest Charmin bear’s “heinie.”  The bespectacled youngest brother bear whose name is Dylan, gleefully picks up his underwear from the floor in a commercial, dancing around with it unafraid because “(his) heinie’s clean.”  While I’m sure we can all sleep better with this knowledge, it bears remembering that none of the ursines visibly wear any underwear in their commercials, or for that matter, clothing of any kind whatsoever.  Yes, they are bear naked!  That which is not worn remains pristine regardless of defecation, so Dylan’s boast is pointless…  

So there, bear, with your underwear!  Keep it there, and get out of my hair!

The Geico “Walrus Goalie” Commercial…

May 14, 2019


Things get stranger and stranger in the world of advertising, where weird means memorable which can equate to name recognition and subsequently business. Duncan the walrus is an unlikely representative of Geico insurance, but he certainly gets the job done, just as he completely fills the hockey goal, making it impossible for the opposing team to score in a recent Geico ad.  Geico makes it easy to get help when you need it, you see, by having licensed agents available 24/7, and it’s not just Geico easy, it’s “having a walrus in the goal easy…”

Duncan is decked out in protective hockey gear, even though it’s ludicrously too small for him.  We see in the commercial spot a hockey puck bounce off his shin guard, while a frustrated opposing team skater grouses that the walrus is “ridiculous.”  The team coach  off on the sidelines doesn’t think so, shouting “Way to go, Duncan!” as he throws the walrus a fish from a bucket that Duncan catches on the fly.  The sidelined coach  and team members then further show their appreciation of the goalie by making walrus sounds.  Having had his fish and excitement, the walrus must then be admonished not to fall asleep on the ice.  “Duncan, stay up!  No sleepies!,” cries the coach in the closing.

One wonders if Duncan in his off hours doesn’t reflect upon the lyrics from the 1967 Beatles Magical Mystery Tour album, for he is the walrus…“goo goo j’goob.”

 

 

Sierra Trading Post Squirrels, “Exciting Life”

May 3, 2019


In this short advert, the Sierra Trading Post squirrel couple are up in a forest tree, mocking the “silly humans” camping below with their Sierra cooler.  The male exuberantly brags that he buries his food “all over the place” for the excitement of never knowing whether he’s going to find it again, or starve to death. There’s something to be said, I suppose, for living life on the edge…

These squirrels exist somewhere in the nexus of where funny meets cool meets creepy.  There’s something about their paws that I find disquieting, although the squirrels seem to be living life with gusto, whether it’s discussing being run over or starvation.  There’s probably a lesson in here for us…

(…tip o’the pen to CaryComic!)

 

The Chantix Turkey Goes Camping…

April 22, 2019

Watching a commercial of the Chantix turkey camping, I wonder if the vest that he’s wearing is goose down filled, and if so whether the wearing of it isn’t some kind of crime against birds in general. Don’t get me wrong, he does look good in it, kind of like an avian Eddie Bauer.  One almost expects to see Elmer Fudd emerge from those woods in the background in his ludicrous hunting outfit, toting a long gun and announcing, “I’m hunting wabbit…but you’ll do!”  Then in my crossover fantasy, previous Chantix spokesman Ray Liotta emerges from those same woods, engaging Elmer in a firefight since one corporate spokesman might reasonably be expected to defend another.  Ray would easily win the fight, having played tough guys in Mafia-inspired films.  Elmer is hardly known as being a marksman…

Other questions lurk, too…since the Chantix turkey represents the slow turkey approach to smoking cessation, might we someday expect to see his cousin, cold turkey?  That bird might be imagined as being cold to the point of chattering, and to have really jittery nerves.  As we view the Chantix turkey hiking in the woods, we’re sorry that he’s mute.  Perhaps in the future he could be given a voice, even singing the Happy Wanderer song as he hikes.  With just a little refinement, this turkey could really take off.  He even cooks over a campfire, and I’d toast marshmallows with him..we’re all forest friends here!