Archive for the ‘advertising’ category

Chantix “Cold Turkey: Skyscraper”

October 10, 2019

In a recent Chantix commercial, the now familiar Chantix turkey visits the observation floor of a skyscraper on a windy day, finding the temperatures a bit chilly for him as he emerges from an elevator.  The turkey then retreats, returning in a jacket and taking in the sights from his vantage point, even availing himself of the coin-operated viewer common at such locations and at one point looking directly at the viewing audience from the apparatus!

Being an anthropomorphic turkey, our boy actually takes a “selfie” from his location, observed by a pigeon in the background who looks and behaves conventionally for his species. There is no communion of the minds or small talk taking place between these two birds; they are not “birds of a feather,” since we’ve previously even seen the turkey driving a vehicle and living in a rather nice house.  One wonders if the turkey would become irate if the pigeon were to poop on his vehicle, and perhaps be driven by stress to fire up a cigarette again.  That doesn’t take place in this installment, for the turkey, successfully weaned from tobacco, throws into a trash can the pack of cigarettes that he apparently carried in his jacket. Then the turkey clicks his heels (or whatever passes for them on a turkey), and returns to the elevator for his descent from the skyscraper.

With Thanksgiving drawing nearer, I do hope that our turkey can steer clear of opportunistic hunters, although it probably wouldn’t be hard for him to outwit Elmer Fudd…

 

 

 

Geico’s “The Gecko Explores an Old Attic”

October 6, 2019



Attics may be disquieting places in which the stored past lives on, even intruding on the present. Mannequins can be creepy because they imitate a life that they lack, a horrific potential that has been explored in Twilight Zone stories among others.  As part of their GEICOween series, the Gecko takes a new homeowner into the attic of his recent house acquisition, convinced that doing so can reveal the home’s charm in what has been left behind.  While the Gecko discovers a music box complete with a tiny ballerina, the focal point of this attic is a table around which are seated a number of broken mannequins, their faces frozen in a variety of peculiar and even disturbing expressions as they partake of a tea party of the damned…

Observing these house haunts is a bit too much for the new owner of the abode, who beats a hasty retreat from further exploration of his discovery.  Perhaps in the Rod Serling tradition, these mannequins each have stories to tell, and lives that they live when not under observation.  I’d join their little attic party for tea and tales, wouldn’t you?

The inference is that while Geico may not be able to help you with malevolent spirits in your home, they can assist you with homeowners and renters insurance.  Just keep an eye on those mannequins, OK?- –Boo!

 

GEICOween is coming!

October 1, 2019


In a series of Halloween-themed commercials, Geico insurance introduces us to Griselda the witch, a witchy but wonderfully hip witch who builds on traditional stereotypes to in one commercial host a karaoke cooking show, complete with bubbling cauldron in which angel sneezes and a thumb drive are added to the brew!

But I digress…in one wonderful, furry-themed commercial, two female college students have taken in Griselda as a compromise roommate, one seeking someone who can help with the cooking, and the other wanting someone who likes cats.  Griselda fits the bill nicely, spoon-feeding one of the students soup that transforms her into an anthropomorphic cat complete with cat ears, facial features, and furry forearms… I’d drink of that brew anytime! While her cooking may be questionable, Geico can really help these students with renters insurance, we’re told.

Anyways, Griselda is a real hoot as is her furry creation, and deserves to be a breakout  character.  We Halloween lovers thank you, Geico…watch for yourself, and meow!

 

(tip o’ the pen to Carycomic for the idea for this post!)

 

 

Allstate’s “Mayhem Cat” Commercial…

September 14, 2019

Dean Winters is back as the Allstate Mayhem guy, a role he plays to perfection…and he’s no stranger to playing animals as well, having played a raccoon in the attic in an earlier outing (below)…

This time he’s portraying a cat, and the absurdity and whimsy of his portrayal is enhanced by the fact that he’s neither in costume nor CGI enhanced, but simply appearing as a normally dressed adult human male adopting feline mannerisms, poses, and behaviors. 

“I’m your cat,” announces Winters, “and ever since you brought me home that day, I’ve been plotting to destroy you,” he declares calmly, flashing back to his batting away the petting hand of his male owner on that first day. We are show Winters doing a variety of iconic cat-things, like playing with kitty-toys while lying on his owner’s couch, and spitting a mouse onto their sleeping face.  “I’ve been sizing you up, calculating your every move,” Winters shares as he peers from a cat-condo and rides a Roomba.  “You think this is love?  This is a billion years of tiger DNA, waiting to pounce!” Eventually a faucet left running by the Winters-cat overflows the sink, causing the upstairs bathroom to collapse down to the floor below.  His feline agenda is proceeding nicely…

If you have the wrong type of insurance, you could be stuck coughing up the cash for this,” advises Winters as he coughs up bird feathers by a now vacant cage. “So get Allstate, and you could be better protected from Mayhem, like meow,” he closes, dipping his fingers into a cat-food bowl bearing the name “Mayhem,” and laughing in a rather sinister fashion, his outfit complete with a collar and tag…the devil is in the details, you see!

 

 

 

Jif’s “Squirrel” Commercial…

September 8, 2019

 
I would probably have long since starved to death were it not for peanut butter.  I’ve eaten it since childhood, and continue to turn to it several times a week.  At times, I even crave it; peanut butter is my go-to lunch and snack of choice when I don’t know what to eat. That being said, I indulge my guilty pleasure at home; even I may not be seen at a park, slathering peanut butter on a slice of bread.  I’ve never been known to carry a jar of peanut butter around with me; I’m just not that hard-core…

…not so the curly-haired young lady in our Jif commercial!  Seated on a park bench, she whips herself up a thickly-spread slice of peanut butter bread, only to find herself approached by a squirrel.  Aww…isn’t he cute?  Who could deny him?  So she gives him a tidbit, and is soon approached by another squirrel, then another! No good deed goes unpunished, after all.  Soon the woman is surrounded by dozens of squirrels, kinda like what happens when you feed french fries to sea gulls at the beach…

…It’s then that the commercial takes a surreal turn, for towering above the sea of squirrels is a creepy man-squirrel, wearing a squirrel mask that covers his entire head.  He, too, is seeking a hand-out, and even making beseeching squirrel-noises.  Is this a peanut butter pervert?  And what should the young lady do?  Mace him, scream for help, or try to bean him with the peanut butter jar? This question is left unanswered, but some people will go to any lengths for the product.  It’s that Jif’ing good, we’re told.  I do sympathize, honestly, sharing the addiction…

…but in my twisted mind fed by a love for horror, the question lingers;  what happens when the woman runs out of peanut butter?  Do the legion of squirrels and their squirrel-headed human-sized leader decide that the lady might be tasty, too?  A few pounce on her to take a tentative nibble, and soon she is writhing under a blanket of them…Aieee! (The screen fades to black as we hear squirrels chittering…the Day of the Squirrel is at hand!)

 

Inflatable Car Foxes…

August 10, 2019

I’m seeing him more places; large, inflated Car Foxes, that is! When I beheld my first one of them, I fought an urge to pull my car over, throw myself at his feet, and vow my everlasting love and allegiance. But no, people wouldn’t understand, there would be the court-mandated psychiatric evaluations, and the pushy car salesmen would just try to sell me a Ford or Buick. So for the present I worship from afar, knowing that the great and terrible day of the revolution is almost at hand, and that the vision of those far-seeing eyes and kindly smile may be relied on.  The Car Fox wouldn’t steer me wrong…


…but sometime under cover of darkness, I shall employ my vulpine gifts of stealth and cunning, and slyly return to liberate the Car Fox from his cruel restraints so that he can lead his children, as is his right and destiny! Then the day of reckoning will be at hand, I reckon...

 

 

Progressive Agents of the Corn…

August 6, 2019


   
Fans of Stephen King will get this commercial (The Corning) about Progressive Insurance agents emerging from a cornfield and chanting in a monotone to Charlie the farmer that he is covered for an automotive mishap and saving money because he bundled his home and auto insurance together…

…it’s suitably creepy and surreal.  Led by iconic Flo, half a dozen Progressive agents, identically clad in their immaculate white uniforms, issue forth from the dense cornfield and begin their eerie slow chant while standing in near formation.  “We’re all here for you, all day, all night,” they intone. “Get in the house, Sarah!,” urges Charlie to his wife, wisely following her inside. Their intonation over, Flo congratulates her team for calming a customer by speaking slowly and clearly.  

The best is saved for last when you hear lovable loser Jamie ask the other members of his team if they heard “weird voices” while in the corn.  They all deny it, to which Jamie responds, “Me neither.” Listen carefully, and you’ll then hear a faint, otherworldly voice whisper Jamie’s name, presumably from out of the cornfield…Haunting!