Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category

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Gecko’ s “Really Literal” Genie…

November 9, 2014

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Two women begin this Geico commercial eating outside with the usual conversation about how spending 15 minutes with Geico can save you 15% on your car insurance.  “Everyone knows that!,” dismisses one woman.  “Well, did you know that some genies can be really literal?,” retorts the other.

Cut to a mock-sitcom called, “Genie and Me,” complete with laugh track.  A man is unpacking boxes, and comes upon a brass lamp, which he polishes. — Poof!  A genie appears, who has a wonderfully disaffected, almost bored expression.  His master is granted a wish, and greedily if predictably wishes for a million bucks.  The genie gestures, and the house and grounds are suddenly populated with a million bucks…the four-legged, antlered variety!  Be careful what you wish for, as it is said…

…there are other “Genie and Me” episodes available for viewing, all in the style of a 1950’s – 1960’s sitcom, complete with hokey humor.  In one, the mother of the genie’ s master mistakes the magical lamp for a gravy boat.  “Good gravy!,” comments the genie, who is wonderful to watch.  It’s fake television, but still better tongue-in-cheek viewing than much of the drek actually airing on the tube…Ray, Genie! 

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Categories: absurdities, animal presence, animals, Brilliant but twisted, television
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Little Caesar’s “Wag” Commercial

September 4, 2014

 

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In this commercial spot for Little Caesar’s pizza, a father and his faithful canine companion are comfortably chilling in their living room when the lady of the house enters the dwelling.  The dog wags his tail in happy greeting.  “You got dinner already?,” asks the disbelieving Dad.  “Yeah, I swung by Little Caesar’s,” answers the woman.  “You don’t have to call in or wait.”

The guy grins happily, and momentarily his pony tail is wagging, synchronous with the dog’s tail.  I rather wish that I had a real tail, don’t you?- – I protest, I was shortchanged! 

Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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Verizon’s “More Birds” Commercial…

August 17, 2014

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People who seek to lure birds can sometimes get too much of a good thing…or so seems to be the underlying message of a recent Verizon commercial, More Birds.  “There’s good more, and there’s not so good more,” intones the announcer.  Hubby is outside while the wife is inside, plinking away on a computer tablet and happy that she’s accumulating  Verizon bonus rewards points.  

“Honey, look!  I got one to light on me!,” babbles the guy to his largely-oblivious wife as a small bird lands on his extended arm.  “Uh huh,” notes the wife.  “You’ve got a buddy!,” says the guy as a second bird lands on his other extended arm.  While the woman continues to be completely involved with her Verizon bonus rewards points, birds continue to land on the man’s extended arms.  “I’m like a statue!,” he intones, not wishing to scare them away. Trouble is, the birds continue to come, including an owl; things are getting out of hand.  The last bird to come appears to be a large bird of prey, and it grabs the guy from behind, literally carrying him away with his work.  The woman either doesn’t notice, or perhaps doesn’t care.  Familiarity breeds contempt, after all.

Perhaps Alfred Hitchcock was onto something in his classic thriller, The Birds.  Then in mythology we also have tales of the giant Roc, said to be large enough to carry cattle and even elephants away.  At the very least, birds can poop on you and your newly-washed car, which is horrible enough…

 

Categories: absurdities, animals, avian, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
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Jack Links “Feed Your Wild Side” Animals…

August 13, 2014

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Things that erupt from one’s chest cavity are extremely cool, especially if their doing so doesn’t prove fatal to the host, as occurred in the Aliens movies.  The Jack Links “Hangry Moments” (hungry + angry) beasties include a puma, an eagle, and a wolf.  The wolf appears at a dull business meeting, with the host’s boss complaining that the appearance was the second time that week!  Once the ferocious, snarling wolf head is fed some Jack Links jerky, however, it becomes quite docile, nuzzling the man’s face and then retreating back into his shirt, which miraculously isn’t even torn!  In the other spots, an eagle comes from a woman’s chest on an airline, while the puma appears from the chest of a student taking an exam.  

I’d do almost anything to be able to have a fox head erupt from my chest cavity as kind of a co-joined twin!  The uses and applications would be endless, and I could be my own best friend, revealing my inner self almost at will…(sighs longingly)…

Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Tums Meatball Commercial…

June 11, 2014

 

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I, for one, find the thought of a combative meatball oddly disturbing, especially when it’s of near-human size. Now the Tums people have in commercials brought us some rather bizarre sights before, including a chicken wing that whips its consumer across the face, an attacking taco, and worse still, a giant headless chicken carcass ready to use its martial arts skills at a barbecue.  Still, we are reassured by Tums that such things may yet be resolved, so that the chicken corpse may amicably play volleyball with us in the end; one can under some circumstances play with their food.

In this vein, we are shown the scene of an apparently pleasant Italian dinner into which a bellicose meatball drops sauce on a diner, then parachutes down, and immediately picks an argument with him. “Ya want heartburn?  I got yer heartburn right here!,” challenges the meatball.  Surrealistically, this meatball has bare human arms and legs. I will not venture a guess about the meatball’s sex, as I prefer not to go there. Suffice it to say, however, that had Hitler deployed meatball paratroopers in sufficient numbers, the course of World War II might have run quite differently, or at least been more entertaining…plus the troops would have eaten well.

While they’re annoying, it turns out to be fairly easy to hold a giant meatball at bay, being that they’re rotund, and will just swing their short little arms at you if you hold them at arm’s length.  Then with Tums, the spicy meatball becomes quite personable, joining you at your table for an after-dinner coffee.  Probably they also know some funny stories…and it adds a new dimension to calling someone a meathead…

 

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, strange, television
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The Geico Snail…

March 30, 2014

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Many of us have had bosses who aren’t too swift, but this guy is an extreme case, mainly because he’s a snail.  Winding ever so slowly through a cubicled workplace, he wears a tie and tiny spectacles, and even leaves a slime trail behind him…how appropriate for a boss! Well, the snail-boss named Mr. Tompkins is greeted by an employee named Todd, and then informs the hapless man that he is fired before crawling slowly away, whistling as he goes!  None of us would have blamed Todd had he then introduced Mr. Tompkins to the sole of his shoe, but justice is rare in the work world.  

The commercial spot begins with two women having coffee, one of which points out that fifteen minutes with Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance.  “Everyone knows that,” replies the other woman.  Seeking to one up her companion, the first woman then questions whether her associate knows that bad news doesn’t always travel fast, and the snail-boss is offered as an example of the same. One might also learn that slimy invertebrates make poor bosses, something that I can affirm from personal experience…

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, Invertebrates, strange, television
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AAA “Accident Rewind” Commercial With Beaver…

February 17, 2014

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– –  Beavers are known for being industrious, and apparently at times they’re a bit evil as well!  In an AAA insurance commercial, we are shown a family of four riding along in a red SUV as birds chirp when they spy a beaver gnawing at a tree.  “Daddy, Daddy, look…a beaver!,” cries one girl from the back seat.  “Oh, he’s so cute!,” chimes in the mother, riding shotgun in the front seat.  “Oh, no no no no no!,” redundantly corrects the father.  

Father knows best, apparently.  We are given a close-up of the beaver, who emits a sound between a growl and a hiss, and drops the tree directly at the family’s SUV!  Fortunately, it’s technology to the rescue!  Dad hits a switch inside the vehicle, and the car is instantly protected by a surrounding, shimmering shield, like those deployed by Star Trek spacecraft against enemies.  The tree is halted harmlessly by the energy field!- – I’d give anything to have one of those!

Sadly, though, 24th century technology isn’t here yet.  “Until there’s an impenetrable force field to protect your car from woodland creatures, there’s the next best thing…insurance from AAA!,” declares the announcer.  I don’t understand why we woodland creatures are getting a bad rap here, but if I can’t get a force field, I’m willing to settle for a Jetson’s flying car.  The future is taking too long to get here…*sighs*

Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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Mr.Peabody & Sherman…

February 8, 2014

Peabody– – I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised that a movie is being made of Mr. Peabody & Sherman, since movies and sequels have been made of The Smurfs and The Chipmunks.  If there’s a chance that parents are familiar with the original subject, a movie treatment serves to introduce children to the character, and film makers hope that a profitable franchise is born.  

Now The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show was a gem in the 1960’s, and has already been subjected to a movie treatment.  Besides introducing us to Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle Moose, the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show had other unrelated ‘toon features that included Dudley Do-Right and Peabody’s Improbable History segments.  Mr. Peabody was a talking, bespectacled, intellectual white dog who in a role reversal had an adopted boy, Sherman.  Through use of a time machine, Peabody and Sherman would travel back in time in episodes to encounter memorable historical figures, teaching Sherman of their significance and at times benevolently influencing the turn of events.  

Based on these memorable offbeat characters, Mr. Peabody & Sherman is an American 3D computer-animated adventure-comedy produced by DreamWorks Animation, and involves Sherman’s misuse of the WABAC time machine with subsequent efforts by Peabody and Sherman to put things back on track before the space-time continuum is destroyed, a problem common in science fiction.  As with the original shorts, the film is described as sweet-natured and amusing, with enough witty touches to keep adults entertained as well.  In theaters March 7th…

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, cartoons, famous furries, furry, movies
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Doritos Breakroom Ostrich…

February 4, 2014

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The 2014 Superbowl was not especially memorable for either football or commercials, but the Doritos ad featuring an ostrich was cute.  The  short spot began with an office boss dressing down two employees for eating all of the Doritos in the breakroom, plus making an awful mess.  One of the two employees just so happens to be be a full-sized ostrich…

…the crime scene itself is then recreated, as we are shown the balding male employee scarfing down every Dorito in sight, and indeed making quite a mess in the process; he would seem from the wrappers to prefer the nacho flavor variety.  The ostrich appears in the doorway and observes the spectacle, casting a disapproving gaze and then backing out; the man says nothing.  When the boss is then confronting the duo and telling them that the offense has been narrowed down to one of them, the human shamelessly says that the ostrich is “obviously” the culprit, at which point the ostrich does a memorable and wide-mouthed gasp!  Obviously, some humans are capable of anything…

…and darned if I don’t have an incredible desire to eat some Doritos right now, although I prefer the ranch flavor…ranch, Mmm!

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, avian, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Tums TV Spot, “Chicken…”

January 12, 2014

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– – It’s grotesque, absurd, and surreal, and like something out of a vegetarian’s worst nightmare…the plucked, decapitated, and man-sized chicken in a commercial for Tums Ultra Strength antacids.  Standing upright at an upscale outdoor barbecue presumably where it was consumed, this most foul fowl and the man who is now tormented by it become aware of one another’s presence at the same time.  The chicken carcass utters what I suppose martial arts challenges would sound like if vocalized by a chicken, and begins to swing its sizable plucked wings at the hapless human, landing at least one good slap.  Although caught off-guard, the man responds by dodging and directing a punch at the giant plucked bird…thankfully, we are spared the full  fury of the combat.

…the announcer then interjects, “When that chicken you had at the barbecue starts fighting with heartburn,  fight back with Tums!”  Antacids apparently succeed where fisticuffs do not, for in the final scene, the man and the great carcass are playing nicely with one another at a friendly game of volleyball.  Sports is often seen as an outlet for male aggression and a substitute for war, after all…and I do so like to see conflict resolved amicably, especially when it involves the barbecued dead…

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, humor, strange, television
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