Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category

South Park’s “Woodland Critters” Return!

December 15, 2025

We haven’t seen the Woodland Critters on South Park in 21 years, and although many thought that we’d never see them again, they make a roaring return to the finale of South Park’s Season 28!

Now the Critters were originally created as part of a Xmas story dreamed up by 4th grader Eric Cartman for a twisted Xmas story that he wrote, and while they appear cute, lovable, and child-like are really satanic creatures with dark powers including the ability to summon demons and hellfire. They engage in murderous and sadistic acts, including the torture and murder of Strawberry Shortcake.

There are a dozen Woodland Critters that include a bear, deer, rabbit, squirrel, and a fox. All are named simply by adding a “y” to their species name, so here we have Foxy the fox. (We foxes do struggle to control our dark side, you know.) Despite their apparent innocence, the Critters are quite sadistic, and use their dark powers to engage in violent and despicable acts that I don’t wish to even describe in a blog that tries hard not to venture beyond PG-13 territory. This time, the Critters are all excited because Donald Trump has impregnated Satan, who is going to give birth to the Anti-Christ. Things get very strange in a show that includes a talking towel prone to getting high, Towelie…

I know of no other show that has an anthropomorphic, marijuana-addicted talking towel as a recurring character. In Towelie’s defense, however, the government created him, and he’ll do the right thing when he knows what’s going on. He’s actually saved the boys from an evil towel on one occasion…

South Park at its best reverses and confounds our expectations, and the re-appearance of the Woodland Critters after a long absence from the series is an example of that, mixed in with the saga of satirizing the Trump administration and its key players for several seasons.- – Y’all have a Merry Xmas now, ‘ya hear?

“Drive Like An Animal” Progressive Commercial…

November 15, 2025

In a CGI Progressive Insurance commercial, we are shown animals driving. Human nature is seldom seen at its best when behind the wheel of a car, and the roadways can truly be seen as a jungle of sorts. The question that then emerges is, What kind of animals will you encounter while driving? And inevitably, What kind of animal are YOU when driving?!

We can largely imagine how a sloth might drive, but how about a deer? They freeze in headlights, of course! A lion drives ferociously, roaring and embodying road rage. Hyenas laugh as they zip across lanes. A ram drives true to his name…

And not to be forgotten, Progressive’s own spokesperson Flo voices a llama safely from curbside, reassuring that with Progressive that you won’t be held responsible for other people’s mistakes. In a reference to another llama commercial featuring a llama at a hairstylist, she asks also if people are staring at her because of her hair…

The Glories of Vintage Cartoons…

October 16, 2025

I have always had an interest in and appreciation for vintage cartoons, not to disparage the modern product ( although some “limited animation” ‘toons are poorly drawn and abominable). It’s just that when we look back on some of these efforts stemming back to the early days of animation, we can appreciate how clever, wildly creative, and groundsbreaking they truly were…

One such example is the 1935 Looney Tunes cartoon Hollywood Capers (featuring Beans). Now Beans (one of the Boston Beans, he tells us) is a black cat properly attired in overalls and a too-small hat who sneaks into a production studio, and we meet cartoon versions of Charlie Chaplin and W.C. Fields along the way.- – How sad that such classic characters are becoming increasingly unknown to many people!

Now Beans creates all kinds of mischief in the studio, even meeting the Frankenstein Monster, who was almost a current issue at the time that this cartoon was made…

So take the time to view some early vintage ‘toons, which can have the sensation of being an acid trip sans drugs. They are wildly remarkable for their time…

NJM “Tour Tram” Commercial…

September 9, 2025

Perhaps the older souls among us can remember the classic “land shark” routine played on the original season of Saturday Night Live…a voice would come to your door, announcing a delivery of perhaps a telegram or candy gram, and when you answered the door, a large rubbery shark head would descend over the tenant and drag them outside, another tragic victim of The Land Shark! Yea, verily, it is written that when the oceans are full, the sharks will hunt on dry land!

Well, just when you thought that it was safe to leave your house or apartment, the land sharks, courtesy of NJM Insurance, are at it again! They appear to have evolved, however, and are much more genteel, having developed legs and even wearing ties and carrying briefcases, probably to lure us into a false sense of security before they strike and glom down on people…

Now a tourist tram train appears to be visiting a Hollywood set, where their on-board host tells the passengers that they’re in luck, an insurance commercial is being filmed! One lady talks to her companion, wondering if they’re shooting an action feature. The video director calls for action,, and we see our genial shark, walking along just like any businessman…then the director calls for a stunt shark, who appears, changes places with shark #1, and gets blasted with water!

Our touring lady appears disappointed, commenting that nothing blew up…but perhaps Chief Brody should be put on alert, just in case! Maybe they’ll need a bigger boat…

We’ve heard of The Wolf of Wall Street…why not The Land Shark of Hollywood?

“The People’s Choice” with Cleo, the Talking Basset Hound!

June 8, 2025

Before Mr. Ed, a forgotten show of the 1950’s called The People’s Choice starred Jackie Cooper but the real attraction was a basset hound called Cleo who appeared to be talking or at least projecting her thoughts to the human characters…

Now Jackie Cooper was one of the few child stars who actually found work as an adult actor once his 1930’s role in The Little Rascals was over. In The People’s Choice (1955-1958), he played an aspiring politician who initially was secretly married to the mayor’s daughter. Cooper would later go on to play Perry White in the first three Superman movies…but this post is about Cleo, who would offer sardonic commentaries upon the human actions about her.

This was hokey 1950’s comedy, but the concept of a talking dog was innovative for its time, and Cleo often did steal the show, paving the way for Mr. Ed and future anthropomorphic animal characters. Hard to find now, some full episodes of The People’s Choice may be viewed free of charge on YouTube…Woof!

The Repatha Heart Commercial…

April 18, 2025

I rather like the notion of having anthropomorphic internal organs that can function outside of our bodies without killing us by their absence, and come complete with their own sets of organs, such as limbs, eyes, mouths, and apparently brains, as such ambulatory organs can talk. We’ve earlier seen commercials for stand-alone organs such as the bladder (Myrbetriq), who (below) kind of resembles a large red apple with very soulful eyes…

Now wouldn’t it be cool if you also could at will detach various of your internal organs, and take the whole family out for, say, a walk in the park? Or perhaps send them on missions to do your bidding, even to freak out or scare people? There’s got to be a good horror movie in that scenario, with you having a perfect alibi for the police while your organs went out to terrorize the neighborhood!– –This could give a whole new meaning to venting your spleen! Why, with autonomous, detachable organs, you could even bring new meaning to the old song, “I Left My Heart In San Francisco! I’ll bet that the heart could really belt out the old standards, I tell ‘ya!

(A heart in a piano bar, performing a medley of Tony Bennett songs…)

But I weirdly digress…the heart in this Repatha commercial is a sweet if wounded soul, wearing a bandage on her head to denote having suffered a heart attack. I’m assuming here that the heart has the same gender as its possessor, as it does have rather feminine eyes, eyelashes, and lips…but we’ll leave the matter of secondary sexual characteristics in organs to wiser heads than mine, such wasn’t covered in my biology courses…

Repatha is used to control LDL cholesterol when statins alone don’t do the job, and both the lady and her detached organ don’t want another heart attack. Appropriately enough, the sound track to the commercial is the song, “Listen To Your Heart…”

So a Happy Easter to all, and please leave your organs within your body, or at least keep them on a leash…don’t leave your muscles in Brussels! And if you leave your heart in San Francisco, maybe high on a hill, it will call to you…

Little Caesars Pretzel Crust Commercial…

April 14, 2025

Little Caesars has brought back it’s Pretzel Crust pizza touted in this commercial, and it’s all that office anthropomorphic sheep worker Brian can think about…so much so, in fact, that he keeps bleating that “It’s BAAAAACK,” at one point pounding his hooves on his computer keyboard to bring up the BAAAAACK legend on his computer screen…

While bosses would like to have sheepish, compliant workers, I doubt that those hooves of worker Brian would be capable of hitting individual keys on the keyboard. Brian does, however, sport good office attire, so we can perhaps forgive him if he acts a bit sheepish…

Flonase “Save Your Relationship With Nature” Commercial…

April 1, 2025

I’ve always found anthropomorphic plants a bit creepy, even if they are sunflowers…and this 2025 Flonase commercial is no exception! With a monstrous specimen of this size sitting on the couch right next to her, flowering vines and all, it’s no wonder that this lady has allergy problems…

Now anthropomorphic flowers are rare in both horror and commercials, and this one appears to have eyes, a nose, and most disturbingly, teeth! One is hard pressed to think of ambulatory and even sentient plants, although The Day of the Triffids movies (1962 and 2018) come to mind. Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors (1986) was also a classic that even generated a musical. Even more recently, we have the heroic and self-sacrificing Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, so perhaps plants are starting to come into their own…

In the 2025 Flonase commercial, the lady complains to her floral companion that “He makes her feel so miserable!” The sunflower appears to feel badly about this, extending some vines in her direction but only causing a sneeze…

Fortunately, Flonase is taken, and we last see the lady and flower in the great outdoors, both untroubled to enjoy the experience!- – I just love happy endings, don’t you?

“Overworked Elf” Dean Winters Allstate/Walmart Commercial…

December 2, 2024

Aww!–It’s Xmas season again! And what could be a better antidote for that than Dean Winters playing an overworked elf!? Doesn’t the above scene look Christmas-y? A coating of snow, seasonal yard decor, and…gasp!– –Santa and his sleigh on the rooftop!

But there’s a rub…the Mayhem dude is playing Santa’s overworked assistant, and he’s ready to call it a night! Mayhem is wearing his suit, but clearly the worse for the wear. There’s soot on his face, maybe some bruises,and his tie is askew…it’s been a long night! Clearly, the elves need to unionize..

But I’ve always disliked elves of the relentlessly-cheerful variety. I like my elves world-weary, and a bit sarcastic, and Winters fits that bill perfectly! He’s already had a hard night, and so when he hands Santa his pack (“here you go, Boss!”), he fumbles, and the gifts go tumbling down the chimney! It gets worse, too, ’cause there a fire burning in the hearth! An expensive Apple laptop impacts and is broken open, and other gifts ignite! If you have ever dropped electronic devices even a short distance much less ignited them, you’ll know that this does not bode well for their functionality. Yuppers, Allstate insurance sure is needed for protection of these electronics, or as as our elf tells us, you’ll be “Ho-ho-SO out of luck!

I also love the fact that Winters apparently has names for the reindeer other than what we are used to, referring to one of them as “Cliffton.” I’d be in favor of re-naming most of the reindeer, giving them relatable names such as Frank, Harry, and Clyde. This reindeer looks somewhat startled by the spectacle that he has just witnessed…

Dean Winters has given us Xmas elves before, memorably playing The Elf on the Shelf just a few years back. That elf was dressed in traditional elfish attire, and as human-sized, brought the shelf down that he was sitting on due to his weight. “Elf down!- -Elf down!,” he alerted from the floor…

So enjoy Dean Winters in this year’s holiday offering…he’s a national treasure, really!

The Gospel According to “Felix…”

September 26, 2024

Exploding Kittens on Netflix is a hoot, although not for those who prefer their religion unpilloried

It seems that God is felt by a divine council to need to be rehabilitated, and so He is sent to Earth in the form of a talking cat, devoid of his most useful but not all powers. He is to help a human family who prayed for his assistance, all the while contending against a similar demonic cat sent to thwart him… 🙀

This is pretty wild stuff that plays like Sunday School on heavy psychoactive medication. God-Cat has not long arrived on Earth before He is corralled by an animal control officer, and sedated. He escapes confinement, and goes on as a strange mixture of deity, human, and feline, railing against his cat incarnation while gradually embracing it. He learns the ways of man, and has frequent epic but hilarious battles against the opposing Devil-Cat.

You might say that God becomes a better fur-son because of all this, but you’ll just have to watch Exploding Kittens to learn of all the enabling details… Meow! 😸