Archive for January 2019
January 28, 2019
No, good readers, we have not turned into a BDSM blog, but are only sharing images of a centaur which appears in a Snickers “Fantasy Night Football” commercial. You see, Matt, the centaur pictured, has gotten his fantasy nights confused…and we’ve all been there, right (–not)? So anyhow, Matt decides to go horsing around, and shows up at a neigh-bor’s house in his centaur’s costume. The only problem is, it’s Football Fantasy night, and not…whatever else it is that Matt is into, ahem! We shall not go there, being a semi-respectable establishment…
The commercial may be seen as an extension of the “you’re not yourself when you’re hungry” Snickers theme, and Matt must be hungry indeed. Perhaps it’s appropriate that Matt is in his centaur suit, since Snickers is named after a horse…and being a centaur does add new layers of meaning into the expression, “going for a ride.”
I’ve always wondered, though…when a centaur is ill, does he see an MD or a veterinarian? There are unanswered questions here…hmmm!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anomalies, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
Comments: 5 Comments
January 25, 2019
In this Cox Communications advert, two anthropomorphic pandas are playing a spirited game of ping-pong, complete with appropriate panda grunts and cries…but things are not as they appear, for a mother summons one of the “pandas” to dinner, and playtime is over. He touches a button on a device, shedding his panda avatar and revealing that he’s really a human boy. His friend is likewise human, and furthermore located at a distance away. They give each other a wave and a “later dude” through a projected screen, and return to their mundane real lives…
This is an envisioning of technology of the future, and I find it completely believable. I’d better start saving now for the mobile emitter and massive data plan that I’ll need to shed my human self at will…
Categories: advertising, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Cox Communications Panda, future technology
Comments: 3 Comments
January 21, 2019
It’s not easy being a turkey. Apparently, if a carnivore doesn’t get you, a nicotine addiction probably will. Is Elmer Fudd lurking in wait for our feathered friend, or a cancer specialist? Life is full of uncertainties. In light of his questionable destiny, the turkey in our Chantix commercial is keeping active in a variety of activities, and probably maintaining a positive mental attitude as well. This bird has a fuller life than I do…he gardens, reads, mows the lawn, and finds time to float in his pool. I envy him…I don’t have a freakin’ pool, so the wages of poultry must be pretty good. He even puts out a feeder for the birds…but wait, isn’t that what he is?! I’m so confused…then in order to minimize the number of strikes against him, the turkey is wisely trying to kick the cigarette habit with Chantix, a program which allows him to go “slow turkey” as opposed to cold turkey.
Unanswered is the question of whether unsuccessful quitters of his species are the source of smoked turkey; I’ve always wondered. Anyways, I’m glad that this Chantix user is no bird brain…
Categories: animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, avian, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Chantix turkey
Comments: 3 Comments
January 20, 2019
In the bizarre singing competition of The Masked Singer, the contestant known as The Deer looked like a stag wearing a gas mask with steampunk accessories such as metallic gauntlets and a long overcoat. Dance moves were hardly the Deer’s forte, with his movements stiff and minimal, possibly due to the headgear. With his vocals equally forgettable, The Deer was voted off during Episode 3, and was unmasked to reveal football great Terry Bradshaw. Perhaps his outfit could be used in a remake of The Island of Dr. Moreau…
Lion gave another good performance, and Monster I thought surpassed their previous effort. Unicorn’s was adequate but not terribly memorable. I thought that Peacock did well again, projecting a Las Vegas presence by beginning their performance on top of a 30-foot lift before descending to the stage. It was kind of like watching Elvis with feathers…this bird can dazzle!
Categories: animal presence, anthropomorphic, avian, fantasy, furry, furry music, imaginary animals, strange, television
Tags: Masked Singer Ep3, The Masked Singer
Comments: 3 Comments
January 18, 2019
Dean Winter is back as Mayhem for Allstate Insurance as the “overly confident dog walker” who would walk 100 dogs “if his paws were big enough to hold all the leashes.” Well, he does have quite a herd of dogs leading him, and all that fur makes it hard for him to see where he’s going, causing him to take quite a header on a loose brick, his face impacting with a sickening thud on unyielding brickwork. The homeowner viewing the accident via camera comments that Mayhem is not Kevin, his usual dog walker…Mayhem responds that he is today. Our man of infinite sorrows adds that unless the homeowner has Allstate Insurance, paying for his medical bills is gonna be “ruff.” A dog sweetly licks Mayhem’s battered face…
In my twisted mind, I’d like to see some kind of apocalyptic standoff between Flo of Progressive Insurance and the Mayhem dude where he’d cast all kinds of calamities at her (fire, flood, lightning, raccoons, etc.) which Flo in her flawless white outfit would simply shrug off. It would be kinda like a battle between two X-Men, the irresistible force versus the immovable object. Flo’s sister Janice could be indifferently chewing gum in the background, her attention riveted on her cell phone… (fade to black)
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal elements, commercials, furry
Tags: Allstate's Mayhem, overly confident dog walker
Comments: 1 Comment
January 17, 2019
Think of a real-life X-Files series set in the 1950’s, and you’ve got the gist of what this ten episode dramatic series on The History Channel is like…and boy, did they get the period atmosphere and flavor right, down to the home decor and guys going everywhere in hats! In addition to careful and authentic detail, there is superb acting and engaging scripts based on actual Project Blue Book investigations. Aidan Gillen known for Game of Thrones gives a wonderful characterization of J. Allen Hynek, a brilliant but underappreciated professor called in by the government basically to put cases to rest but finding that science can’t explain everything away. He is pressured by his assigned partner Air Force Captain Michael Quinn (Michael Malarkey) who in turn is pressured by military higher-ups to produce the desired investigation outcomes. It’s all there, including shadowy “Men in Black” figures lurking in the background, and glimpses of a UFO hidden in a government hanger.
Episode 2 concerned an investigation of The Flatwoods Monster, a close encounter of the third kind which occurred in West Virginia in 1952 and about which I blogged here way back in 2010. The incident was previously highlighted in an episode of the late great series, MonsterQuest. Anyways, in this Project Blue Book treatment Dr. Hynek explains away the alien sightings as being of an owl up in a tree so as to appear ten feet tall, but is beginning to doubt his own explanations as the episode ends and he is hustled off the case. Future episodes will probably depict the continuing evolution of the character, and I look forward to seeing it, commending the series for your viewing…
Categories: aliens, controversial, encounters, mysteries, paranormal, sci fi, speculation, television
Tags: Project Blue Book series
Comments: 3 Comments
January 10, 2019
I was not disappointed! The Rabbit rocked the house on S1, Ep2 of The Masked Singer with a rousing rendition of Ricky Martin’s Livin’ la Vida Loca. With his glowing red eyes, straitjacket-type outfit, and head-twitching mannerisms, The Rabbit conveyed a touch of madness and menace, winning over Alien with a great stage presence and a lot of kinetic energy, together with that “fresh from the asylum” vibe that he had going on…kinda like Michael Jackson by way of The Joker. Rabbit was deeply into his character, and I respect that. Perhaps he’ll perform White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane in a future match-up…
In other match-ups, Raven easily beat Pineapple, who was voted the weakest performance of the night and voted off. The identity of Pineapple? — Tommy Chong, who is known for comedy but hardly singing and dancing. Raven’s outfit was dark and foreboding, with almost steampunk and horror elements, and she sang Rainbow by Kesha…
In the third round, 
Poodle sang a strong version of Pat Benatar’s Heartbreaker, but lost to Bee who performed Chandalier by Sia. Bee is apparently a veteran performer who has been doing her thing since the 1950’s! When the menagerie convenes in weeks to come, we’ll be seeing both of them again in someplace where your fantasies meet your nightmares. This is weird but fun stuff, and I’m in for the ride… 
Categories: anthropomorphic, avian, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry-like, television, twisted reality
Tags: The Masked Singer, The Rabbit on Masked Singer
Comments: 3 Comments
January 8, 2019
I’m not unsympathetic to the idea of Emotional Support Animals, although some people have pressed the limits of what may be considered such an animal, and where it may be appropriate to take them. As a case in point we have a Credit Karma commercial where a female passenger on an airline notices a male in the same seat row sporting a blobfish on his lap, who he introduces as Harold, an emotional support animal that he enlisted when his credit rating caused damage to his self-concept. The woman advises the man that he can gain tips on improving his credit rating from Credit Karma, a thought which so excites the man that he accidentally drops Harold on the aircraft floor. “He’ll be all right,” reassures the man. “He’s a bottom feeder!“
Now blobfish are real, a deep sea creature found in waters 2,000 to 3,900 feet deep off mainland Australia, Tasmania, and New Zealand. A few years back, they were voted “the Ugliest Animal in the World.” Blobfish are easier on the eyes if you see them in their natural habitat, since the appearance that people associate with them is caused by decompression damage as the specimens are brought to the surface. So be kind to the blobfish, as you’re not seeing them at their best. Harold could certainly not live out of water, even while he appears to move slightly during the commercial.
Sadly, no one claims blobfish as their spirit animal. These guys just can’t seem to get a break. And when it comes to emotional support animals, I’m inseparable from my inner fox…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal oddities, anomalies, aquatic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: Blobfish, Credit Karma blobfish
Comments: 5 Comments
January 3, 2019
Aha, I just knew that we were going to be able to sneak some compelling furry images and characters onto mainstream television soon, and with The Masked Singer on Fox (- -how appropriate!), our time may have finally come in 2019!
Now for those of you not in the know, The Masked Singer is a new reality show (for the U.S., anyways) in which celebrity contestants perform and compete entirely clad in costume head-to-toe, concealing their identity. Most often those costumes are of animals, monsters, or other fantastic life forms with the contestant’s group of twelve including among others a unicorn, a deer, a hippo, a French poodle, a pineapple-man, a lion, and my personal fave, a rabbit! For the first night, six contestants competed on a paired basis, with the lesser voted contestant of each match-up relegated to the bottom three, and the weakest of that group unmasked and sent home. Victors in the matches included a Peacock winning over a Hippo, a Unicorn beating a “Monster,” and a Lion defeating a Deer. The Hippo, a real-life football athlete, ranked lowest and was sent home.
The show kind of blends American Idol with The Gong Show by way of a furry convention. Some of the costumes are elaborate and impressive, and dependent on their individual gifts and the bulk of their outfit some of the contestants incorporate a little choreography into their stage presentations. All of the contestants are supposedly well-known figures in music, comedy, or athletics, and the identity of each will ultimately be revealed as the weaning-out process continues. Popular in Asia and originating in South Korea, the American version of The Masked Singer is certainly different, even if it’s not for everyone…
https://youtu.be/Pv_qCDK9xYw
Categories: animal elements, animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, avian, creature features, fantasy, feathered friends, furry, furry fandom, television
Tags: The Masked Singer
Comments: 6 Comments
January 2, 2019
It’s hard to think of a less appealing figure in a commercial than Mr. Mucus. We’ve seen bodily organs with minds of their own such as the Myrbetriq bladder and the Halos stomach, but this guy is a bodily product, for crying out loud, basically animated phlegm! He’s even a revolting green color, so we think less than kindly of him, and basically want him gone, ASAP; it isn’t easy being green, as Kermit the Frog observed, and Kermit had redemptive qualities. The repulsiveness of Mr. Mucus is why we are glad to see some insult or harm come to him, and will remember any product that can further that end. You’ll never see stuffed likenesses of Mr. Mucus flying off store shelves.- – It’s snot gonna happen, ahem! (laughs maniacally)
The brief ad begins with a man asking his wife where her cough is. The woman responds that she’s fine because she took Mucinex DM, which sent the cough far away. – – How far away? We are then shown Mr. Mucus in the jungle, complete with a safari jacket and pith helmet. Coming across a gorilla, he asks the ape if he’s seen a nice woman with a cough, to which the simian responds Hulk-like by smashing Mucus-boy with a mighty fist that sends him flying swiftly out of sight. No tears are shed on Mr. Mucus…sad!
Mucinex DM, the voiceover then tells us, releases swiftly and lasts 12 hours, not 4, leaving Mr. Mucus to bungle in the jungle…”Well, that’s alright by me.” (Jethro Tull).
(“I’ll write on your tombstone, I thank you for dinner/This game that we animals play is a winner.” —Jethro Tull, Bungle In The Jungle)
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Mucinex "Mr. Mucus"
Comments: 2 Comments
FOXSYLVANIA 
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