Archive for December 2018

Season’s Greetings!

December 25, 2018


Forget Rudolph…I’m traveling with Odin’s reindeer!

A Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, Happy Yule, and Glad Festivus to all of my readers!

~ the Fox sends you Season’s Greetings from Foxsylvania!

Yuletide Horrors…

December 19, 2018

Since Christmas has been pushed on us since October, it’s only fair to bring a bit of Halloween to the merriment with tales of The Wild Hunt. Traditionally associated with Germanic folklore, notions of The Hunt have since spread and been adapted across Europe, and may even have resonated in North America…

The Wild Hunt stretches attempts to explain it a bit, but basically involves a group of spectral or supernatural huntsmen who ride in frenzied pursuit of unknown or unspeakable prey, or portending a catastrophe such as war, plague, famine, or a second Trump administration. The Huntsmen are traditionally led by a god such as Odin, a historical figure such as Theodoric the Great, a figure drawn from religion such as Satan, or at least a really bad dude. The cohorts of the Leader of the Hunt have been seen as elves, faeries, demons, or spirits of the dead. Their bestiary consists of horses (often spectral) and large fierce canines of the hellhound-variety.

Now riders of The Wild Hunt might be glimpsed as a vision or passing mist in the midwinter sky, and such was seldom regarded as a fortuitous thing, portending calamity to the observer at the very least. Unfortunate observers might have their souls sucked from their bodies by the Riders especially if they obstructed or attempted to interfere with the procession, while by some accounts they might also be rewarded if they helped in some way.

Celtic conceptions of Cernunnos, the bestial Lord of the Hunt, may have been influenced by Wild Hunt mythology. He’d give Santa a ride, but he ain’t no reindeer…

And in North America, the mythic concept appears as Ghost Riders (In the Sky), also a haunting song that may help in visualizing the spectacle. — So have yourself a scary little Christmas!

“Mr. Murderbritches” is Free…

December 13, 2018

You have to love the name “Mr. Murderbritches” for a bobcat kitten, but I wouldn’t recommend petting him because he might rearrange your face. I also had to search a bit for a non-bloody picture of the little guy, whose images often appear with a chicken that he has just killed, or eating a road-killed deer. This is hardly some cuddle-kitten, but rather a tough little hombre, a wild thing that is truly wild…approach at your own risk!

Now Mr. Murderbritches is a 4-to-6-month old bobcat kitten who was first reported by a homeowner in Kanarraville, Utah in their chicken coop, at which time the bobcat hadn’t killed any chickens. He was let out by a sheriff’s deputy, with a live trap set up in case he returned, which he did the following day. Held in captivity for one night, Murderbritches was later released away from the property but again returned, successfully killing and eating a chicken from the coop at that time. Joshua Carver, a conservation officer with the state’s Division of Wildlife Resources, then released the snarling cat back into the wild.

Murderbritches then made his way to an isolated property miles away from where he was released, and became stuck in a dog kennel. The conservation officer captured the small wildcat again, feeding him a delicious meal of roadkill deer and eagle-killed pheasant before releasing him again even further away. The badass bobcat struck and hissed at those releasing him, and hasn’t been seen since. The cat was “too mean” for the conservation officer to tell if the animal was male or female at first.

Now here’s a quiz to see if you’ve been paying attention. Mr. Murderbritches is:

a.) A clown that you don’t want performing at a childrens’ birthday party.

b.) A new Xmas gift doll for a child that you hate.

c.) A new heavy metal band.

d.) Trump’s next nominee for Department of the Interior.

e.) A bobcat kitten.

Aww shucks, you probably all aced the quiz! In the words of Conservation Officer Carver, “I get a kick out of wildlife being wild.” – – Long live Mr. Murderbritches!

https://youtu.be/7xcuJ3OPl8k

Halos “Good Choice, Kid: Fair” Commercial…

December 11, 2018


Our internal organs are revolting…seriously!  First we have the walking big-eyed bladder of the Myrbetriq commercial, and now in a Wonderful Halos commercial we have a stomach so appalled by the dietary choices of its host that it jumps out of his mid-section complete with skinny legs, and like something from John Carpenter’s The Thing scrambles off in the opposite direction!  In the Halos “Good Choice, Kid: Fair” commercial, we are shown one gentleman with double deep-fried butter sticks in each hand offering one to another guy at a county fair.  It’s more than his stomach can stomach, erupting from his gut and charting its own course…

It’s not that I’d be immune to the allure of a double deep-fried stick of butter.  I’d probably enjoy one immensely, dying with a smile on my face even as it clogged my arteries.  County fairs are notorious for providing such guilty pleasures.   I just doubt that I could retain the blissful composure of the fried butter stick eater as my gastrointestinal organs visibly bailed ship and exited my body, which is the stuff of serious nightmares.  The butter-eater seems to shrug it off…

“Who knew these things were bad for you?,” comments the double deep fried butter eater as his stomach runs off.  “Everyone,” responds the other guy, continuing to sensibly eat his Wonderful Halos oranges.  Sometimes, you see, the right dietary choice is easy, even if guilty pleasures aren’t going away any time soon…