Archive for November 2010

ET in an Ice Meteorite?

November 30, 2010

– – I could die happy if extraterrestrial life or a major cryptid would be found within my lifetime, but disappointment constantly haunts these dreams.

–Well, here’s another straw to clutch at:  a guy in Michigan claims to possess an ice meteorite rich in extraterrestrial organisms that conveniently plopped down on the road near his home in South Haven, Michigan in March of 2000.

Since it hadn’t snowed for weeks, the guy deduced that the ice must have been from an ice meteorite.  He gathered up the ice, stashed it in his freezer, and spent the following ten years trying to convince scientists to analyze the frozen mass.  Their collective interest was underwhelming, and the true believer in September put out his own bucks to have chemical analyses performed by two commercial labs.  The labs found that the samples contained particles with unique molecular structures, which their finder regards to be alien life forms.

A news conference will be held November 30th at a Ramada Inn in South Haven regarding the supposed find with coverage from media outlets, mostly hailing from outside of this country.   The discoverer admits that more rigorous analysis is needed to see if the meteorite is a meteor-wrong..

More Annoying Than The Average Bear…

November 28, 2010

– – As if we all didn’t suffer enough at Christmas, you’re soon to be hit with both a Yogi Bear and a Smurfs movie!  As Al Bundy might have questioned, “Are we not fit to die?!”

The live-action/CGI Yogi Bear movie opens December 17th, and stars none less than Dan Aykroid as the voice of Yogi with Justin Timberlake doing the honors (?) as Boo-Boo Bear.  Aykroid was reportedly sent tapes of  Daws Butler performing the original voice of Yogi Bear, but refused to listen to them, preferring to do his own take on the character.  The movie is reportedly pretty thin on a story line, not that there was great intellectual content in the original Hanna-Barbera cartoon…

Of greater interest to me is the fact that the film in theaters will be preceded by a new 3D short with Wile  E. Coyote and the Road Runner entitled, “Rabid Rider.”– -Now that’s entertainment!

The Death of Bozo…

November 26, 2010

– – The bear, that is, not the clown!  Bozo the black bear had spent more than 15 years receiving treats near the grounds of a Northeastern Pennsylvania mountain resort, and was by all accounts a tame, gentle animal.  Unfortunately these very qualities probably led to his demise at the hands of a crossbow hunter on Nov. 15th, the first day of archery season.

One area resident fed Bozo for 17 years from the time that he was a cub, noting that the gentle giant was especially fond of donuts and anything sweet.  Bozo was considered a “mascot” at an area eatery, accepting ice cream there the night before he was slain.  He would sometimes let people pet him.  Local residents who had come to know and love Bozo are grief-stricken.  “I mean I feel like I lost a friend,” said one.

Ironically the hunter did nothing illegal, whereas those who fed him did. In Pennsylvania it’s illegal to feed some wildlife, including bears.–Why?–When a wild animal looses its fear of humans, it’s vulnerable.  Bears can create a public nuisance if they’re fed by humans, and they’re creatures of habit that can become accustomed to finding food in one area.

The legal slaying of a beloved and tame animal may create, however, a public relations disaster for the practice of hunting, which has already come under fire.  Hunting is further damaged by the attitudes of some of its practitioners.  One hunter said regarding Bozo’s death, “As long as the bear was not on someone’s property, it doesn’t matter if a few people liked it.”

Attitudes of that type and this image say more about hunting than any animal rights activist ever could.- -RIP, Bozo…



Dogged by Controversy!

November 24, 2010

– – No, they haven’t found the Dogman of Wisconsin…it’s just some Australian art turning heads and uniting playfulness with an edgy sexual content.

The exhibition titled “Returning to the Animal Within” is by Marc and Gillie Schattner of Sydney, and features 20 paintings and five sculptures of dog-headed humans at play and in repose.  The sculpture pictured titled “Good Boy” shows that canine-human chimeras also enjoy a good cup of coffee, but its anatomical correctness resulted in police investigating an obscenity charge.

An upcoming sculpture depicts a dog-man in a suit stooping to pick up his own poop; a good example, and environmentally responsible!- -‘Mutt or smut?–You decide!

Furry Superhero Spotted!

November 22, 2010

– – Our last best hope against Bad Kitty,  Powercat was recently spotted soaring high over my area, and I consider myself fortunate to have captured one of the few known images of this mysterious and powerful but elusive hero…

…at some point in the future, Powercat and the evil mastermind, Tiger (aka Bad Kitty posted about previously) will probably tangle in a battle royal expected to lay waste to much of civilization as we know it…imagine the encounter!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Powercat:  (flying in) “I’ve come fur ‘ya, Bad Kitty!”

Tiger:  “Powercat!–DAMN!”

Powercat:  “Nothing beats my kung fu, Bad Kitty!”

Tiger:  “Not even my radioactive hairballs?  (hacks one up)—AHAHAHAHAHA!”

Powercat:  “Gasp!–Weakening…Uhhh!”  (collapses)

Tiger:  “Join me, Powercat!–Don’t make me destroy you!”

Powercat:  “Never!”

Tiger:  “Powercat…I… AM… YOUR FATHER!”

Powercat:  (screams)  “NOOOOOOOO!”

(fade to black with Powercat prone on the ground and Bad Kitty laughing demonically…)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

…Well, isn’t this a stinky litter box?…Is a real cat-aclysm to follow?!-Join us next time on Foxsylvania!!!

Bad Kitty!

November 20, 2010

– -I, for one, would not care to run afoul of this cat…he looks like an evil feline mastermind, or something that a Harry Potter villain might morph into!

…appearing like something out of a Stephen King novel, the cat, appropriately named Tiger, has reportedly inflicted “nasty injuries” upon postal delivery personnel in a small town called Farsley in Northern England.   Royal Mail has announced that they will no longer deliver mail to the home of Tiger’s owner…they apparently are not adept at dealing with cases of feline demonic possession.

By the way, the cat is 19-years-old, which is 92 in human years…but I still don’t recommend disrespecting him!   Do so at your own peril…total global domination is this feline’s goal!

(…Upcoming:  our last best hope!)

Great Gonads!

November 18, 2010

(Warning:  Some Mature content)

– –We all know the appeal of big balls, although I’ve never had to use the ballroom dancing classes my parents required me to take.  The Fox Trot came quite naturally to me, although I’ve never been prevailed upon to do the Waltz or even the Cha Cha…but enough of my ballroom notoriety…

In the animal kingdom, a species of cricket, the tuberous bushcricket (Platycleis affinis)  has been found to have, as AC/DC might sing, “…the biggest balls of them all,” testes that amount to 13.8 percent of its body mass!  This would be the rough equivalent of a human male hauling around testicles that weigh 22 pounds!  I don’t know what this would translate to in foxes, but they’d probably be pretty impressive…

It is thought that the extra large testes in bushcrickets (also known in North America as katydids) allow males to mate repeatedly without their sperm reserves being exhausted…to say nothing of their bragging rights!

The research appears in “Biology Letters,” a journal of Britain’s Royal Society…(heh, and you thought they were stuffy!)

…and AC/DC rocks!–Woo!

Wildlife Conservation Officer Slain

November 16, 2010

– – People tend to think that being a game warden is a fairly tame job; not necessarily so.  When a Pennsylvania wildlife conservation officer recently caught a felon illegally night hunting deer with a spotlight and pulled over the poacher’s truck, a ferocious  exchange of gunfire ensued that killed the officer and left the later-captured suspect wounded.  David Grove became the first game warden killed in the line of duty in PA since 1915.

Poaching is a crime which sadly continues in the 21st century, and game officers, usually working by themselves, must routinely investigate men who are armed, and usually  better armed than the officers.   While game lands can be beautiful places used to enjoy nature, after dark wildlife conservation officers can find drinking parties, drug sales, and people that are knowingly breaking the law.

About 1.5 million acres are under the jurisdiction of game commission officers in Pennsylvania, an area nearly the size of Delaware…

Real Piggy Banks…

November 14, 2010

– – How would you like a piggy bank made from a real piggy?–No, I wouldn’t, either…

They are for sale, however, from a novelty retailer out of Vancouver, British Columbia;  yes, taxidermied piglet piggy banks for a mere $4,000 each!  Production costs are high for the item, with the taxidermy process alone taking six months.  The piglets used have actually died of natural causes.

Animal activists have called the piglet banks, “a particularly callous and demeaning exploitation of a baby animal’s dead body.”  Although no pigs are killed to make the piglet banks, the co-owner of the Canadian novelty retail establishment which has been brought much publicity feels that the real argument would seem to be about taxidermy and whether preserving animals for aesthetic appeal is ethical.

There is unquestionably value in taxidermy to the extent that it has allowed for rare and extinct animals to be displayed and studied; I personally find the display of hacked-off animal parts to be gruesome and repugnant, however…


News and Weather You Can Bear…

November 12, 2010

– – Talk about guerilla theater! Earlier this month during a live newscast tracking the progress of Hurricane Ike that showed the wave-lashed beach off Galveston, Texas the on-site weatherman had to cope with the unexpected appearance behind him of…an anthropomorphic bear!

In a surreal moment worthy of the best of Trigger-Happy TV, the bear-costumed figure moved with grace and agility behind the weatherman, seemingly unconcerned about the rough seas and striking a pose or two for the viewing audience.  The befuddled newscaster, his thunder utterly stolen, could think of nothing better to do other than to shift the camera to a view of a battered pier…all the while kinda pretending that the bear’s antics were not going on!

…caught by surprise by a furry, it was a moment to live for!