Car Maulings in the Carolinas!

Posted July 20, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: cryptozoology, scalies, strange happenings, unexplained, unidentified, weird

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 – – Lizard Man is again running rampant in the Carolinas, and he’s rough on cars!  This bad boy has a nasty habit of biting, ripping, and pulling apart car fenders, hood ornaments, and radio antennas.- – Try calling bite marks in to your local insurance agent!

In an incident last week in a rural area of South Carolina, owners of a car discovered that their vehicle was riddled with what appeared to be teethmarks that went completely through the car’s fender.  Similar occurrences began in 1988 when a car mauling was reported, with the front fender on a car snapped in two and other pieces of chrome torn off.  Two years ago in a case similar to the original, a van was mauled by something biting through the metal and bending the fenders. 

A teenage eyewitness in 1988 reported an encounter with a creature about seven feet tall that had red eyes and three-fingered hands;  the young man came from a responsible, respectable family, and passed a polygraph test about the incident in which the scaly cryptid ran towards him following a tire change and jumped upon his moving car before being thrown off.   He has never changed his story…

Perhaps this car-biter is suffering from a serious deficiency of iron in his diet…and should we call in the Car Fox?

A Public Service Announcement!

Posted July 18, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, furry film classics, movies, strange

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 – -Here at Foxsylvania, we value each and every one of our readers.  So if you go to the beach this season, we urge you to be careful!  If invited to a crab bake, first make sure that you are not on the menu.  And as always, the admonition to never attempt to eat anything larger than your refrigerator remains sound advice…

Return of the Slowskys…

Posted July 16, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, television

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 – -I have to admit that I’m not a big fan of turtles, and if I want to see something move at glacial speed, I’ll go to Walmart and play “dodge-’em” with the senior shoppers obstructing the aisles there.  The Comcast (now rebranded Xfinity) spokes-turtles, the Slowskys, have been on hiatus for a long time…but would you expect anything else from them?  We last saw the turtle couple, Karolyn and Bill, in 2009.  In the latest Xfinity spot, we learn what the leisurely-pace lovers have been doing in those intervening years…procreating! 

Well, we won’t get into the gritty mechanics of reptilian sex here, as this ain’t that kind of blog…and although he’s been a long time in coming,  offspring Stanley (aka “Bill Jr.”) is at last here, and he’s cute as a button, even boasting toys like a rubber ducky in the comfortable-appearing Slowsky home…

Strange Bedfellows?

Posted July 14, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, strange

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 – – Foxes and Donald Trump make strange bedfellows, but vulpine Americans were again dragged into the commentary at a White House Correspondents’ Dinner.  In what amounted to a roast of the Donald, Seth Meyers commented that “Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head,” a reference to Mr. Trump’s signature hair style.  It’s certainly no one that I know, and I would not volunteer for the assignment myself unless I were paid most handsomely…

Mr. Trump did not appear amused during the proceedings,  and later referred to the jokes about himself as “inappropriate in certain respects…”

“Legend Quest” Coming on Syfy…

Posted July 12, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: strange, television, unexplained, unidentified, weird

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 – – For those of you interested in the kind of drek that I am, heaven help you…and you may want to give the upcoming Legend Quest series a look as it begins on the Syfy channel this July 13th at 10 P.M.  Billed as an action-adventure series, this Quest will follow Ashley Cowie, an archaeological explorer and expert in ancient symbols as he and his team travel the world in search of some of history’s greatest and most mysterious artifacts.  All of the elusive items are believed to hold hidden powers and mystical significance for ancient and modern cultures, and will include such items as King Arthur’s sword Excaliber and the Holy Grail.

Up first is a twin billing with the Ark of the Covenant and a Mayan Talking Cross featured…

DQ’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll Falcon

Posted July 8, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, cool things, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television

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 – – Falcons seem to be going through a surge in commercial popularity, and Dairy Queen has also come to realize that animal spokesmen sell.  They’ve then given us an all too brief glimpse of one of the most awesome birds yet to be seen on television,  the Rock ‘N’ Roll Falcon!  This is one bird who knows how to do wing gestures, and who also talks the talk; “It’s good to be back in Boston, YEEAAH!”  If used as a front man, this falcon could guarantee that a band’s album would go platinum!

Dairy Queen had earlier given us such things as kittens floating in bubbles as well…

The State Farm Falcon Commercial…

Posted July 6, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, feathered friends, furry commercials, strange, television

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– – Insurance companies seem to be competing these days over who can produce the most off-the-wall commercials, and State Farm is in the running with an ad featuring a couple walking down a surreal street populated by a number of people, many of whom are carrying strange objects such as a gumball machine or a stuffed moose head.- -Well, it seems our man on the street has been saved sufficient money that he’s invested it in a falcon, which we see perched on his gloved arm.  Others beholding the falcon are envious, and make comments to the effect, “Aww, I could have got a falcon!”  The couple call their State Farm agent and thank him for buying them a falcon, but he denies having done that, maintaining that he simply saves people money, and that what they do with it is their concern.

Despite the fact that the peregrine falcon is magnificent, it should be pointed out that they are classified as raptors, the possession of which generally requires state and federal permits that can take years to acquire as well as specialized knowledge about their care and handling.  You can’t just go out and buy one at Walmart, no matter how much money you’ve saved! 

Scorpion on a Plane!

Posted July 4, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, Invertebrates, strange happenings

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 – – It sounds like a sequel to the forgettable action flick Snakes on a Plane, but the scorpion on a plane was all too real, and it stung a Portland-area man flying from Seattle to Anchorage during a June 17th Alaska Airlines flight.

The male victim felt something crawling inside one of his sleeves while trying to sleep on the flight, and thought it was a small bug.  When it turned out to be a scorpion, the man at least had some fun out of the experience by gathering the arachnid up in a napkin, and showing it to his girlfriend!  Predictably, she freaked.   By this time, the man’s elbow was burning from the sting, and two doctors on board checked the guy out while the flight crew called for medics to meet the plane at the airport in Anchorage.  The girlfriend kept her feet on the seat for the rest of the flight, refusing to put them on the floor.

The arachnid is felt to have been a striped bark scorpion common to Texas where the flight originated.  An Alaska Airlines spokesperson said the airline has never had a poisonous creature like the scorpion on one of their flights before.

Politicians, lawyers, and my ex-supervisors apparently have never flown Alaska Airlines…

“Gladiator” Fights Lion; Not Worth Lion’s Time…

Posted July 1, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, deplorable practices, just plain stupid, strange happenings, weird

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 – – With the World Animal Bothering Belt on the line, a self-proclaimed Egyptian “gladiator” stepped into a steel cage set in a wheat field in Mansoura, Egypt with a reportedly 660-lb. (?) lion in order to attract foreign visitors to Egypt and lift his country out of its post-revolution downturn. 

As the “gladiator” glared and bared his teeth, the lion, which had been fed an entire donkey before the event, is reported to have looked bored.   The event lasted 17 minutes, with spectators said to have been disappointed and to have regarded the feat as a publicity stunt.

One can only imagine what thoughts were running through the lion’s head about the human warrior, who carried a “shield” made of an old satellite dish (“You are so lame, pink skin!”).  The Egyptian Tourism Minister commendably blasted the spectacle as an inhumane act against animals…

For his next exhibition, perhaps the warrior will take on a narcoleptic camel, an agoraphobic scorpion, or even a rather large jellyfish in a bucket of water!–Hey, reality TV should be this good!