DirecTV’s “Grandson With A Dog Collar”

Posted February 21, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, furries, furry commercials, television
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– – Some people regard this commercial as hilarious while others regard it as an ad full of stereotypes and prejudice.  It’s DirecTV’s “Don’t Have A Grandson With A Dog Collar” ad which like  others for the same company takes us through a chain of events sequence illustrating the consequences of making a bad or wrong decision.  In this one, it seems that if your cable is on the fritz, you get frustrated.  When you get frustrated, your daughter imitates.  When your daughter imitates, she gets thrown out of school.  When your daughter gets thrown out of school, she meets “undesirables” (-shown hanging out in a video game room, gasp!).  When she meets undesirables, your daughter ties the knot with undesirables.  And when your daughter ties the knot with undesirables, you get a grandson with a dog collar!  Don’t have a grandson with a dog collar, we are admonished…get rid of cable, and upgrade to DirecTV!

Now dog collars themselves are worn by a variety of different types, including actual canines as well as some goths, heavy metal fans, sado-masochists, and furries.  It’s a personal decision and a personal statement that doesn’t mean that the wearer is bound for a life of crime, or that social deviance is inherently bad.- – No, I don’t wear one, but I’m I’m fine with it if you do…and I can see how some people of alternative life styles might be offended by this commercial.

On the other hand, the expression on the face of the painfully straight grandfather as he sits at the end of the commercial  holding his dog-collar wearing grandson is priceless!  It’s a fish out of water scene that might be a scenario for a sitcom…

Comments: 2 Comments

DirecTV’s “Stop Taking In Stray Animals!”

Posted February 19, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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– – A series of DirecTV commercials shows us the consequences of making bad decisions in a chain of events fashion reminiscent of Laura Numeroff’s 1985 children’s classic,  If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.  It seems that if you pay too much for cable, you throw things.  If you throw things, people think that you have anger issues.  When people think that you have anger issues, your schedule clears up.  When your schedule clears up, you grow a scraggly beard.  When you grow a scraggly beard, you start taking in stray animals; and when you take in stray animals, you can’t stop taking in stray animals!  

In this half a minute gem, we are shown each step in this downwards spiral, winding up with our unfortunate man at home looking cheerfully demented with unkempt hair and beard, clad in his robe and slippers and surrounded by numerous stray dogs and cats and even a raccoon and opossum!   We are told that one may break out of this bleak cycle and stop taking in stray animals by getting rid of cable, and subscribing to DirecTV…

Aspects of this commercial are funny and I take it in the spirit in which it was intended, but the problems of animal collecting and hoarding are real as are the problems of homeless, neglected, and abused pets.  The commercial might also be criticized for potentially ridiculing those who have taken in stray animals, a practice which is far from objectionable if done responsibly and in full awareness and acceptance of the commitment involved…  

Comments: 4 Comments

Geico’s Black Panther…

Posted February 18, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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– – Geico continues to produce noteworthy commercials with a furry twist, one of their latest featuring a magnificent black panther doing duty as a money-saving home security system!   I certainly wouldn’t mess with him…trouble is, the couple employing the big feline’s services aren’t getting much sleep out of the deal, especially since the panther appears to be sizing the duo up, staring as cats do so uncannily well and licking his lips- -heck, they can’t even talk as the fearful woman “shushes” the guy! 

The point of the commercial is that Geico offers security that will save you money and doesn’t involve adopting a rescue panther, but cat people will enjoy seeing this black beauty, who as David Bowie sang so memorably, “…can stare for a thousand years.”

Comments: 2 Comments

Icelandic River Monster?

Posted February 15, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, aquatic, cryptozoology, mysteries, strange
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  – – A video reportedly showing an apparent subarctic anaconda snaking its way upstream through Iceland’s Jokulsa River as shot by a 67-year-old farmer has been subjected to an analysis in which the position of the monster’s head were matched up with relation to static reference points.  It was concluded that the “monster” was actually stuck in one place on the river, with moving water creating the illusion of a swimming snake.

The object is thought to be a fishing net or long piece of cloth caught on a branch or a rock lying beneath the surface of the water.  The serpentine shape is caused by chunks of ice hanging onto the net.

Iceland does have a legendary Lagafljot Worm, the Icelandic equivalent of the Loch Ness monster…but this was no Nessie cousin.

Comments: 3 Comments

Street Luge Maxwell!

Posted February 13, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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 – – Maxwell the Pig seems to be getting into extreme sports, and continues to be hamming it up and having the time of his life!  Geico’s original 2010 commercial turned the porker into a web sensation, and the last time we saw him he was flying down a zip-wire.  Now Maxwell’s trying out a street luge, and making it all look easy;  he catches up to a street-luging human, gives him a memorable “bro-nod,” warns him “Ahh…heads up!,” and then becomes airborne!   At no time does Maxwell lose his blue and white pinwheels or express anything but giddy delight as he “Weee’s” his way along in his quest for the ultimate thrill!

Comments: 9 Comments

Yeti in Stride Gum Whitemint Commercial…

Posted February 11, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, famous furries, furry, furry commercials, strange, television
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 – – With Stride gum packing long-lasting flavor, management has to take strong measures to get consumers to spit out their gum wad, take a new chew, and so grease the economic wheels.  They have devised ingenious ways of doing just that; past commercials have depicted rams butting customers, wrestlers squeezing the gum out of them, and German folk dancers slapping them chew-free.  Now, an even heavier hitter has been recruited; the legendary Yeti!

This isn’t your father’s abominable snowman, mind you, although he certainly is cool!  This Yeti enters a marketing meeting wearing a headband and earphones, and delivers a gut punch to one manager, physically forcing him to expel his gum.  A voiceover warns, “Spit it out.  Or Yeti will find you.”

Stride Whitemint gum is licensed by gold medalist snowboarder Shaun White, although I’d much rather meet the Yeti…

Comments: 3 Comments

Purebred Werewolves on “Being Human”

Posted February 9, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, television
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– – The moon is full as I write, and I’m mindful of how we’re conditioned to think of most werewolves as being, well, reluctant, and if anything tormented by their werewolf status in the Lon Chaney, Jr. tradition. Such werewolves were not born as such, and were “turned” or made into werewolves by the bite or sometimes even scratch of another werewolf.

Episode 204 of the innovative and engaging Being Human show presented us with beasts of a somewhat different variety, a brother and sister pair of purebred werewolves. Both of the parents of these twins were werewolves, and so they were born into the condition. The wolfy senses of such purebreds are heightened all of the time, not just before and during the full moon; indeed, the twins presented take wolfsbane as kind of a canine Xanax to take the edge off, whereas in most werewolf lore it acts as a poison or repellant for werewolves. Far from loathing their lycanthropy, these furry twins (Brynn and Conner) find it a consummation devoutly to be wished, so much so that they wish to turn to their lupine state whenever they wish, not just during the full moon.

The storyline gets more complicated in the series, with regular werewolf character Josh engaging in research to put an end to his lycanthropy whereas the twins who exult in it are interested in the research so as to enable werewolf conversions “on demand;” wouldn’t this be a kick! No doubt more interesting events lie ahead!

Comments: 3 Comments

Dorito-Bribing Dog…

Posted February 7, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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 – – As a member of a species sometimes referred to as “the feline canine,” I don’t take violence towards felines lightly, and always have divided loyalties on questions of cats and dogs.  Dog on cat violence assumed a more humorous bent, however, in the Super Bowl Doritos commercial in which a man discovers that his dog might be responsible for the disappearance of Fluffy, a missing cat.  The dog, deciding that he might be ratted out, decides to bribe his human witness with some Doritos, extending a hush note with spelling at least as good as half of that readily observable on the internet.  I’m sure it’s not the first time that bribes have bought silence…

The Doritos commercial was actually the number one rated ad for this year’s Super Bowl according to TIVo, and it featured Huff, a Great Dane hailing from Virginia Beach.  The consumer-created commercial which reportedly cost only $20 to produce won its originator a cool $1 million prize…Woof!

Comments: 2 Comments

“Bolt” the Dog Shines in VW Game Day Commercial!

Posted February 5, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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 – – He’s a portly poochie, the St. Bernard-Australian Shepherd mix who we first see unable to fit through the pet door at his home.  Like Rocky before him, this dog changes things around by training hard if unconventionally, running up and down stairs, dragging weights around, hitting a treadmill, and even swimming laps at his Pasadena home. 

Finally trim and fit, our dog succeeds not only in making it through the pet portal, but also looks good as he keeps pace with a redesigned red Volkswagen Beetle!  Volkswagen hasn’t abandoned its Star Wars theme, however; the final 15 seconds of the commercial shift to the Cantina previously introduced in Star Wars Episode IV, with Darth Vader even making a special appearance!

We won’t dwell on that, however, in favor of mentioning that our canine hero actually donned a “fat suit” in order to appear heftier prior to his depicted physical transformation…and Bolt the dog has already shot a TV pilot, with the proposed show called, “Scent of the Missing.”  If the show gets picked up, Bolt plays a dog who uses his nose to find missing people…

Comments: 2 Comments

Subaru’s Dogs…

Posted February 3, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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  – – Has the Super Bowl gone to the dogs?!- -There will be plenty of commercials during this year’s event featuring man’s best friend.  In addition to the Volkswagen Super Bowl teaser with dogs barking to Darth Vader’s theme,  Subaru of America has a series of ads featuring dogs in the driver’s seat under the slogan of “Dog Tested.” 

Airing during the annual “Puppy Bowl,” these spots feature dogs on the road doing such things as parallel parking and getting nailed by snowballs.    We see them on the beach, at a campsite, or simply tooling around on the road searching for adventure.  Dogs starring include a poodle, Collie mix, Great Dane, bulldog, and a Blue Heeler mix…

Comments: 2 Comments

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