Degree Commercial with Bear Grylls and Real Ursine

Posted October 1, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: , , , ,

– – Bear Grylls is a British survival expert and adventurer who hosts the show Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel.  He also does a number of commercials for Degree deodorant, one of which shows us a poor subject pacing in a primitive “perpetual motion simulator,” which is really a large wheel set into motion by the movement of the guy walking inside it.  “Feelin’ fresh and dry!,” assures the hapless subject as he moves at a leisurely pace.  The deodorant’s protection is activated by movement, ‘ya see, so to kick things up a notch, the survival expert tosses the wheel walker a trout, and a bear is introduced in pursuit behind him!- –Now things are getting interesting!

“Help me!,” screams the subject with the bear in hot pursuit.  “Keep running!” is the only advice he is offered by the survival expert who calmly walks away…

Comments: 3 Comments

“Wayne the Werewolf” from “Hotel Transylvania”

Posted September 29, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, movies

– – I’m usually not much for family-friendly movie monsters as they tend to be overly sanitized, but Wayne the Werewolf from the upcoming movie Hotel Transylvania may be a redeeming grace, or at least a focal point for furry aficionados.

  Voiced by Steve Buscemi, Wayne is portrayed as a world-weary everyman kinda werewolf who is a data processor by day and a beleaguered father by night.  Wayne and his wife, Wanda, have produced litters of misbehaving pups, and his ball and chain is pregnant yet again; the poor guy’s once acute sense of smell has even been decimated from too many poopie diapers!  This is a poor guy who really needs a vacation at the Hotel Transylvania where a number of classic movie monsters including Dracula (voiced by Adam Sandler), the Invisible Man (David Spade), and Frankenstein (Kevin James) are free to be themselves…

Comments: 5 Comments

Vampire Squid from Hell!

Posted September 27, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal oddities, animals, aquatic, science, strange

– – They sound like the perfect subject for a Saturday night original movie on the Syfy Channel:  The Vampire Squid from Hell (Vampyroteuthis infernalis).  They rather look like a bad movie monster, too, having a type of cloak-like  webbing, unusually large deep blue or red eyes, and light-producing organs covering its entire body which it can flash! 

A kind of living fossil originally discovered in 1903, the vampire squid lives at a depth of about 3,000 feet and feeds on “marine snow,” a mixture of dead organic material and feces that floats down from above, often embedded in a mucus matrix, yum!  The cephalopod grows to only about a foot long, and can survive in minimal oceanic oxygen zones, a fact which possibly enabled it to survive major extinction events in the evolutionary past.  Feeding rather passively, the vampire squid is the only cephalopod in the world that’s not a predatory carnivore…

…and wouldn’t Vampire Squid from Hell be a great name for a metal band?!

Comments: 2 Comments

“Dirty, Old Egg-Sucking Dog” VW Commercial…

Posted September 24, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television

  – – I’m not a big fan of country music, although I am a fan of Volkswagens, owning a Jetta myself…and it just so happens that a currently-running VW commercial features a Jetta,  Johnny Cash’s music, and an English Bulldog! –Well, it seems that in the commercial the bulldog swallows his owner’s car keys, but fortunately the Jetta’s keyless technology system allows you to operate certain features of the car as long as you have the keys in your proximity.  So even with your keys in your pocket (or dog), sensors in the car will detect your arrival and unlock the door as you grab the handle.  Once inside the car, it can also be started without the keys in the ignition just by pushing the brake and then a button to start the car!

The Johnny Cash song used dates back to 1966 from the “Everybody Loves A Nut” album, with the first stanza as follows:
“Well he’s not very handsome to look at/Oh he’s shaggy and he eats like a hog/And he’s always killin’ my chickens/That dirty old egg-suckin’ dog.”

Beauty, it’s said,  is in the eyes of the beholder…and I’ve heard canines called far worse than “…dirty, old egg-suckin’ dog.”   To illustrate responsible pet ownership, the owner drives directly to the animal hospital, although he does use the dog again to lock the car and roll up the windows!  Surely the bulldog would approve, although not of being called “Shirley.”  Just don’t expect to hear country music coming from the windows of my Jetta!

Comments: 2 Comments

Rockin’ the House…

Posted September 21, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

– – I’m glad to see that the Kia hamsters have developed a taste for the fine arts,  showing their trademark killer moves in an 18th-century opera house in their newest commercial for the Soul “party wagon!” 

The current campaign is called “Bringing Down the House,” and features a ballet performance and breakdancing to the Axwell remix of “In My Mind.”  It’s kind of an electronic dance rave type thing which is played to an audience of upper-crusty aristocratic types who seem to eventually tap into the energy and get into the groove…

The hamsters are good at what they do, BTW…sales of the Kia Soul are up 13% this year!

Comments: 2 Comments

Fluzone’s “Hedgehog”

Posted September 18, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

– – If he were any cuter, people probably wouldn’t be able to stand him…the Fluzone Hedgehog, that is!  Now there aren’t really many vaccines that have their own animal mascots…no tetanus shot tarantulas, for example.  But this little guy makes sense, since you get a shot from a needle, and he’s covered with quills.  But you really won’t mind, because he’s even  going to a barber shop to get his quills trimmed…the idea is, ‘ya see, that Fluzone uses smaller intradermal needles!

He’s an anthropomorphic hedgehog, talking a little…and he even adjusts his little red tie!  He’s such a cute little dickens that you want to hug him, even if it hurts!  One just wonders why he goes to a hair salon rather than an animal groomers, but maybe he’s trying to make time with the stylist…and I’ll be surprised if we don’t now see more furry hedgehog avatars and stuffed hedgehogs out by Xmas.

Comments: 3 Comments

“Frankenweenie” is Coming!

Posted September 13, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, fantasy, furry art, furry film classics, furry stories, movies

– – Frankenweenie, a film directed by Tim Burton, is coming this October!  A remake of a 1984 short film by Burton, Frankenweenie is a 3D, black-and-white, stop motion-animated comedy horror film.  Like its 1984 predecessor, the film is both a parody of and an homage to the 1931 film Frankenstein as based on Mary Shelley’s classic gothic novel.  

In the film, a young Victor Frankenstein deploys the power of science to bring his beloved dog, Sparky, back to life.  Unintended and sometimes monstruous consequences ensue.  Vocal talents include Martin Short, Winona Ryder, and Martin Landau.  The art has the look of The Nightmare Before Christmas, and should be well worth a look!

Comments: 2 Comments

Cybernetic Roaches…

Posted September 12, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animals, insects, research, science, weird

– – I, for one, would be freaked to find a remotely-controlled Madagascar hissing cockroach at large in my domicile.  One would wonder what kind of sinister intelligence would be behind it, and such a creation would represent an unnatural perversion of the already repugnant.

Scientists at the North Carolina State University have already created such a fun toy, however, by taking a lightweight chip with a wireless receiver and transmitter, and attaching it to a cockroach like a tiny backpack.  Madagascar hissing cockroaches are the roach of choice as they are large, heavy-duty, and already carry a significant gross-out factor.  With a microcontroller connected to the roach’s antennae and cerci (rear sensory organs), small electrical charges from the wires to the cerci trick the roach into moving in response to a perceived threat.  Charges sent to the antennae make the roach think that it’s bumped into something.  By utilizing both inputs, it’s possible to basically steer the cockroach.

Now what, you might ask, would you use a biobot roach for?  Well, they could be sent into tight spaces to search for survivors after disasters…but would you want to be found by such a rescue party?- -aieee!   Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, right?  Perhaps they might additionally tie small casks of brandy around the roach’s head…

Steerable roaches…that’s something new!  I think I want one for Xmas, too! 

Comments: 3 Comments

“Chipmunk Family Reunion” from Progressive’s “Good Night, Flo”

Posted September 7, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

– – Be brave, and enter by commercial into the dream world of Progressive’s iconic “Flo,” an already otherworldly lady.  We are shown in the commercial the racing car bed that she sleeps in, and are witness to her dreams, appearing in a cartoon-like “thought bubble” appearing above her head.  Flo, perhaps not surprisingly, counts insurance discounts rather than sheep in her sleep state.

Then the parade of discounts is interrupted, and we are shown a dream deviation of a chipmunk family reunion!  They are as cute as the  dickens…but alas!  A dastardly squirrel steals the chipmunk’s nuts!  Despair not, however, for in Flo’s dream, the squirrel is apprehended, and winds up in “Squirrel Jail.”  Even in her dream state, Flo exults “Justice!,” and we are shown a victorious chipmunk holding aloft a liberated nut!   Wonder what a therapist would make of this one…

But don’t ‘ya just love happy endings, even though reunions tend to be nutty? 

Comments: 4 Comments

Gonna Need A Bigger Boat?

Posted September 4, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal occurrences, animal presence, animals, aquatic, unexplained

– – Well, isn’t this a fine kettle of fish?  A male Great White shark weighing about 1,600 pounds washed up on a New England beach this weekend on the border of Rhode Island and Massachusetts, prompting officials to close down two nearby beaches spanning 10 miles of oceanfront.

Officials are not sure why this great white died, or how it wound up in this location.  Tests will be conducted to determine the probable cause of death for the 13-foot predator…speculations  on possible causes have included orcas, environmental toxins, or perhaps Chevy Chase…

Comments: 3 Comments

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