Original “Godzilla” Actor Dies…

Posted August 8, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, creature features, famous furries, furry, furry film classics, furry heroes, furry horror, sci fi
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He waded out of the Pacific Ocean in 1954, and into cinematic history.  He was one of the great ones, in every sense of the word.  And now it is with regret that I report that the original actor to play Godzilla has died of pneumonia at the age of 88…

…Haruo Nakajima played Godzilla in twelve films, his last outing in 1972’s Godzilla vs. Gigan.  To prepare for the original role, Nakajima went to the Tokyo zoo to study the movements of elephants and bears, believing that Godzilla had to move convincingly to avoid being a farce.  The suit that he wore weighed up to 220 lbs. as it was crafted in part of ready-mixed concrete.  Stomping among miniaturized sets, Nakajima suffered for his art as wearing the suit caused him to sweat terribly.

Nakajima began his movie career in samurai and war movies before becoming a monster movie icon.  Not limited to one role, Nakajima also played Rodan, Mothra (my personal favorite), and King Kong! – – Thank you, Haruo, for bringing the King of the Monsters to life!  

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Advantage II for Cats Huge Flea Commercial…

Posted July 25, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, bizarre, furry, insects, parasites, television, weird
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Fleas the size of humans are the stuff of nightmares, especially if you happen to find them watching a movie with you, or (shudder) squirreled away all cozy in your bed… 

The giant fleas in the Advantage II for Cats commercial are both repulsive and oddly fascinating; it’s hard to look at them or away from them, perhaps because they’ve acclimated to human life so well.  They seem like world-weary couch potatoes, not really trying to make a fuss but just fit in.  And so it is when the woman vacuuming approaches the giant flea encamped on her couch, the insect very accommodatingly lifts a hind leg to allow her work to continue.  The flea fits in all too well, and is possibly less offensive than other house guests.  

“If your cat has fleas, you probably do also” is the commercial’s disturbing message.  Perhaps in a sequel, we’ll hear the pitter-patter of not-so-little flea legs around the house, or see the one on the couch pick up the phone to order a pizza…

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“Irritabelle,” the Viberzi Woman…

Posted July 10, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, medical, strange, television
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I find people with their internal organs visible disquieting, unless of course they are zombies, in which case you expect that kind of thing, and it’s part of the desired effect.  When said people with visible internal organs jabber and cling, they can be downright annoying, however.  Zombies at least just growl and make noises while they’re trying to eat you.

Submitted for your approval is Irritabelle, the Viberzi commercial woman. Now Irritabelle wears a flesh-colored body suit that’s non-descript except for the imprint of her lower gastrointestinal tract.  Yes, I know, pretty soon all of the young and fashion-conscious will be wearing them.  Irritabelle hangs around her greater self at such places as the market, the office, the bedroom, the beach,  the store, and the doctor’s office, promising the woman she’s part of such sought-after things as abdominal pain and diarrhea, and almost gleefully dragging the woman she dogs off to the bathroom.  She’s a bit of a cut-up too, even wearing an improvised cape at the doctor’s office like a demented superhero…colon girl, perhaps.  Irritabelle and the Lactaide cow whose milk messes with you would probably get along famously.  A show starring the Cow and the Colon would probably beat most reality television.

At any rate, as the personification for Irritable Bowel Sydrome in a commercial for a remedial medication, Irritabelle seems to have plenty of get-up-and-go.  Never has a “gut leotard” looked this good!

 

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Samsung’s “Do What You Can’t” Commercial

Posted June 26, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, avian, furry, furry commercials, television
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I can’t remember the last time that I saw a commercial featuring an ostrich, so this gem from Samsung is unusual. Blundering along the African plain and coming across a dwelling, an ostrich pecks up a few crumbs on an outdoors breakfast table, managing in the process to wind up wearing some virtual reality goggles also left lying there.  Our boy’s horizons are radically expanded through a flight simulation program running on the goggles, and so he is inspired to attempt the impossible for his species…flight.  With Elton John’s Rocket Man as the theme, the ostrich extends his wings, and is soon soaring like a mighty eagle!

Some viewers have called this commercial Samsung’s best ever, and it manages to be funny, touching, and inspirational all at the same time…

 

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Cheating Death Stuntman…

Posted June 12, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, television
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We all know that it’s not a great idea to try and cheat death, since eventually he’s gonna win.  Even 60’s “Batman” Adam West couldn’t hold him off indefinitely, and death is pretty intimidating in his popular “Grim Reaper” incarnation, with black garb, skeletal hands, scythe, and all. This Grim Reaper can even exude a rather impressive black spectral cloud around himself for dramatic effect.

…but when you’re a stuntman, cheating death is what you do; if you want to save 15% or more on your car insurance, switching to Geico is what you do.  So this stuntman racing death cuts out of a race for a bite to eat, and then rides conveyances, rolling out of a cab in time to beat death to the finish line.  Death shrieks his displeasure, but has lost…at least for the moment.  Time, however, is on his side, and the race goes not always to the swift.  Until that time, the Reaper will always have a place at heavy metal concerts…

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Dentists Where Not Expected…

Posted June 7, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, strange, television
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It’s said that the most terrifying thing that you could find on your doorstep after midnight is a clown, simply because they don’t belong there. Wouldn’t you find it equally creepy to be broken down on a desert road, and have a dentist approach to render aid, clad in a crisp professional white jacket? How about being lost on a wooded trail, and have a dentist appear to lead you to safety, again wearing his white clinical coat? How about being stuck in an elevator, to have a dentist appear prying the doors open?

These are the scenarios in three recent commercials for Aspen Dental, featuring dentists as the proverbial fish out of water, appearing unexpectedly in all kinds of atypical places to render help. Supposedly this is because Aspen is a different kind of dental clinic with different kinds of dentists. But for me, this is all strangely unnatural, someone terribly out of place who we aren’t happy to see even in their proper domain. Steven King could have dreamed these scenarios up for one of his horror stories.

“Open wide,” says the dentist as he pries apart the elevator doors. Conditioned from times in the dental chair, two of three elevator occupants gape their mouths open: how quickly we are trained!  In yet another commercial of the series, a dentist foils a bank robbery, only to have bank patrons throw their wallets at his feet as if he were in on the heist.  Come to think of it, I’ve surrendered more than a little of my money at dental offices, although voluntarily and under legal circumstances.

I’m more accustomed to see dentists portrayed as villains: the ex-Nazi dentist of Marathon Man, for example, or the sadistic dental practitioner of Little Shop of Horrors. If dentists continue to crop up portrayed as unlikely heroes, perhaps “Molar Man” will eventually join the Marvel or DC universes.  I shudder at the thought…

 


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The Blood Skull and Woman of the Woods on “Mountain Monsters”

Posted June 5, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: horror, mysteries, paranormal, strange happenings, television
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When we last left Buck in the previous episode, he had gone solo to the “Three Rings,”  and encountered the mysterious “little girl.”  Well, it turned out that while Buck was momentarily distracted, she conveniently vanished. Meanwhile, ailing team leader Trapper re-entered the scene, and collected Buck and Huckleberry.  He directed them to collect Jeff, which Willy and Wild Bill did, pursued in their truck by the other team.  Jeff related that the rogue team had a building deep in the woods where secrets resided,  and Buck was sent by Trapper back to the shed where photos of the AIMS team had been found on the walls.  Stripping these pictures off the walls, Buck found the words, “Find the blood skull,  find the Woman of the Woods” painted on the walls.

The Rogue Team’s cabin described by Jeff was found by the rest of the team, and Willy and Wild Bill entered it, guns at the ready.  In a back room of the cabin, they found skulls decorating the walls and a topographical map of the dark forest.  Buck then called Huckleberry from the woods, relating that he felt a foreign object was the cause of Jeff’s frequent nosebleeds; Buck had remarked in a previous episode that he knew why Jeff’s nose bled, and he may have received this knowledge as ‘the chosen one” from the little girl during his “lost time.” Well, Jeff was reclined on a table, and in a gross scene the team used a forceps to extract what turned out to be a small skull-like object from his nose…there was screaming and blood. — Yes, the secret of the Dark Woods was not under Jeff’s nose, but up it!  Eww!

Meanwhile Buck had again been seeking the little girl by returning to places where she’d been seen, and spotted her again.  The girl pointed to a grapevine and stump “throne” within which was…the blood skull, seen but fleetingly.  Buck also caught a brief glimpse of the Woman of the Woods, who did not appear to have eyes, but rather flaming orbs or perhaps empty sockets. Returning to his truck, Buck found it occupied by the skull-masked figure who had earlier held him and two team members captive in a shed.  If all of this seems a bit Grimm to you, some say that the current story line has been a hillbilly re-construction of the Little Red Riding Hood tale…

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“The Secret of the Little Girl” on “Mountain Monsters”

Posted June 3, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, controversial, creature features, strange happenings, television
Tags: ,

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In the previous episode of “Mountain Monsters,” Jeff was seen wandering around three large grapevine rings in the Dark Forest while carrying a torch.  In S5/Ep7 it was learned that Jeff had met with the boss of the other team, and had been shown a ritual for the Three Rings constructions that was supposed to draw the “little girl” of great interest to that other team.  Buck in that meeting with Jeff shared his “lost time” in the woods when he ditched his cameraman and wandered about in a trance-like state following which time he was not immediately aware of what had happened.  A video was on Buck’s cell phone from that time which showed the enigmatic little girl, who it was deduced was the key to what the other team was looking for.  Jeff was sent back to tell the other team that he knew someone who had talked to the little girl.

This lure worked all too well, with the other team descending on the AIMS base camp with firearms, threatening to burn them out if they failed to surrender Buck, who had hidden in the woods near the base camp.  Managing to steal one of the other team’s trucks, he led them away in it, and hid until the next morning.  Meeting at that time with Huckleberry, Buck decided to go back north to the Three Rings area alone, with the rest of the team asked to create a diversion in the south to lure the other team away.  They did this by setting off trip wires of the other team, and dropped a tree across the road to slow that team’s exit, setting it afire for dramatic effect.

Arriving alone at the Three Rings constructions, Buck lit the torches that were there and walked through the Three Rings as described in the ritual to lure the little girl.  Reporting that it got colder after he did so, Buck remarked in hushed tones “She’s here,” and we were shown a fleeting, blurry monochrome image of the little girl at a distance as seen through one of the rings.  The season finale is coming soon, and hopefully too will be the end of this long, drawn-out saga that seems closer to The Blair Witch Project than cryptobiology…

Comments: 3 Comments

“The Three Rings of the North” on “Mountain Monsters”

Posted May 26, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, controversial, cryptozoology, furry, mysteries, television
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With an episode title like “The Three Rings of the North,” (S5/Ep6), you might think that Mountain Monsters was getting into some kind of Tolkienesque fantasy, but the rings referenced were of grapevine, and hobbits were nowhere in sight.

In the last episode of this increasingly strange series, a bloodied Huckleberry was left inside their base camp, and it seems that he claimed to have gotten into a knife fight with a creature he had driven off.  Huck understandably contended that they needed to fortify the camp, at which point Jeff walked off, saying that he needed some air.  “I’m falling apart here bad,” he told pursuing team member Buck, who was able to talk Jeff down and arrange another private meeting with him the next day.

During that meeting, Buck described his getting lost in the last episode, and hearing the “sickening cackle” of the “Woman of the Woods.”  Becoming upset in this recollection as well as a video left on his cell phone, Buck decided that he had missed something and needed to go back to the woods alone to search for clues.  Doing this without even a cameraman, Buck had another fleeting encounter with a little girl who seems associated with the “Woman of the Woods,” and left the site.  

The next day, the team met with their leader Trapper, and Jeff who had been serving as a double agent confessed that he was not a higher-up in the other organization.  An electrified fence was erected around their base camp, with blood found on trees outside the camp, presumably from Huckleberry’s knife fight with the mysterious creature in the camp itself.  Trying to continue his role as defector, Jeff met at night with members of the other team and was told that his tenure there was done; a scuffle ensued when Jeff insisted on hearing that from the other team’s boss.  Jeff was taken away by the other team, later managing to text the AIMS team to turn on the radio that Willy had stolen from the other team in the previous episode.  Listening to this radio, they heard that the other team was headed north to the “three rings.”  They headed north themselves on foot, eventually finding a large grapevine construction of three rings with torchlight illumination.  Jeff himself was wandering about the scene, apparently in a daze and holding a torch…

…the plot thickens, huh?  Not exactly gripping entertainment, but the show’s attempt to live up to their opening promise that “In the Dark Forest, the mystery ignites.”  At this point in the series, the cryptids are almost a peripheral consideration to the soap opera and mystery elements.

Comments: 3 Comments

Huckleberry’s Predator…

Posted May 16, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, television, unexplained
Tags: ,

Skipping now the “Superfan” episode of the previous week which basically served to recycle old material, S5/Ep5 of Mountain Monsters picked up with Jeff and Trapper being found in a barn by the rest of the AIMS team.  It turned out that Jeff was basically working as a double agent, working with “Harry and Stinky” of the other team to gather information.  Jeff advised his team mates to download video from a tripped trail camera, which they did only to find it password protected.  Jeff later supplied the password , and the video revealed an image of…the Black Wolf!

At a night meeting with Jeff, Buck was told that “something big” would be going on by a high rock wall.  Buck became lost in the woods, sending the rest of his teammates by phone to the designated location. Willy and Wild Bill rappelled down the wall in order to listen, with Willy managing to steal a radio of the other team to facilitate this process.  On the radio, it was heard that Jeff was down and bleeding. Fearing that he was gunshot, Willy and Wild Bill hastened to that location, finding Jeff down with one of his gradually-worsening nose bleeds.  Meanwhile still lost in the woods, Buck heard the laughter of the “Woman in the Woods,” wandering off in a daze for ninety minutes before being located by his cameraman.

Meanwhile Huckleberry shared his impression of being stalked by a creature in the woods, following it back to their base camp cabin.  He entered the cabin alone, and was later found there in a bloodied condition by his now-reunited team mates.  “It knows we’re here,” remarked Huckleberry at the end of the episode, which will be continued next week in this endlessly drawn-out saga…

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