Archive for the ‘unexplained’ category

Demon Panthers; Helicopter Crew Meets UFO; Doppelganger

March 28, 2015

wpid-wp-1427508717485.jpegThe S3/Ep08 episode of Monsters and Mysteries in America featured a cryptid, an otherworldly encounter, and a paranormal experience, a bit of something for everyone!  In Alexander City in Illinois in the Shawnee National Forest (Devil’s Kitchen sector) lurks a never-identified feline creature, similar to a black panther but at over 9′ in length much larger.  The panther is further extraordinary in that it can apparently appear and disappear.  Accounts of the demon panther date back to the mid-1800’s, with a butler working on the exterior grounds of a mansion reportedly attacked in July of 1917 but the attacker never found.  More recently in fall of 1969, cryptozoology investigator Loren Coleman traveling as a passenger in a car saw a large black panther crossing the road, wishing to exit the vehicle to search for tracks which he was not able to do as his companions wished to leave the vicinity.  A bit later in fall of 1969, Mike Busby was out driving late at night when his car quit, causing him to exit the vehicle to work on the engine.  The panther then pounced on him, and the situation was dire until he went limp and the headlights of another vehicle caused the creature to break off the attack.  Remarkably, the panther was then seen to walk off into the woods on its hind legs! The police thought that the panther was a large wolf, although the victim knew better and suffered a lengthy recovery from the attack…

…there are those that believe that we all have a doppelganger, a “double walker” that is essentially a duplicate of a living person although they are a kind of imperfect evil twin that may be bent on replacing their mainstream version.  Abraham Lincoln supposedly saw a pale and deathly image of himself in a mirror, a vision which his wife interpreted to mean that he would not survive his term of office.  In Oviedo, Florida a family was reportedly invaded in April of 2003 by a duplicate of one 17-year-old daughter which both the girl’s mother and her sister reported seeing.  The duplicate could supposedly open doors and perform actions in the physical world.  The doppelganger even appeared to the young woman at work, and to the mother at home after the daughter had gone off to college…creepy, huh?

Lastly, an incident was covered in Louisville, Kentucky where two air police officers in a helicopter were pursued by a UFO in February of 1993.  The supposedly alien craft circled and chased the hopelessly outmatched helicopter, eventually shooting three fireballs at them which required emergency evasive action.  The UFO was described as moving quickly with no visible means of propulsion, and it vanished following the encounter.  Two police officers on the ground also reportedly saw the strange craft but were unable to pursue it.  The segment also touched upon a January of 1948 incident when planes unsuccessfully chased UFO’s, as well as a 1955 encounter when a family saw small alien creatures outside of their farmhouse, later finding glowing material left on the ground. – – Where is Fox Mulder when we need him?!

 

Mantis Man; Spottsville Monster; Tornado Phantoms…

March 23, 2015

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In the S3/Ep07 installment of Monsters and Mysteries in America, the first segment concerned a huge, hostile Bigfoot-type beast reported in Spottsville in the northwest part of Kentucky. Reports of the creature date back to 1892, but the segment largely concerned the Nunnelly family who in 1975 moved to a farm house in the back woods, where they sensed something strange. Chickens went missing, and two brothers in the family found a dog carcass, later finding eight dogs killed and mutilated in the same manner. Family members heard rustling sounds in their yard, and reported seeing a seven to nine foot tall hairy creature with piercing eyes covered with hair and emitting the odor of rotten eggs…

…well, the family reported coming under siege from the creature, who would rattle their door knobs and screech on their porch. They repeatedly called the police, who would investigate and discover nothing, finally refusing to come further. Deciding to take matters into their own hands, family members and friends staged a stake-out on their roof one night. They heard sounds, released their dogs, and fired with shotguns into the area with no result. They finally left the house, fearing for their lives. One unrelated Kentucky native put out a recorder in the general area, and recorded an eleven second scream which wildlife experts said matched no known species…

…on a more benign note, the second segment concerned “butterfly people,” luminous beings of light with wings who were reported seen largely by children during a devastating tornado in Joplin, Missouri which occurred on May 22nd, 2011. The entities reportedly shielded people from debris during the tornado. Curiously, forty to fifty children reported seeing the same thing, which only one adult witnessed, describing the beings as angels or guardians.

Last was the account of the Mantis Man, a huge, hideous, insectile-type creature reported in Hacketstown, New Jersey. The monster was described by two unrelated fishermen as standing about seven feet high, having mandibles, and large intense black eyes. One observer described the creature as fading as it moved up the river bank where it was spotted, leading to speculation that perhaps the beast was using camouflage and blending into its surroundings. The second observer reported hearing a humming and feeling tingling sensations, and seeing the mantis-man spread its wings when observed by him in a threatening gesture. The fisherman felt like the big bug was somehow sucking information from him. It also eventually vanished as if into a fog. Speculation followed that the giant, scaly creature was psychic, and may have even been an insectile type of alien…better summon multiple exterminators for this one!

Carolina Reptile Man; Succubus; Napa Rebobs…

March 13, 2015

 

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The Carolina Reptile Man is a cold-blooded reptilian beast recently profiled on Monsters and Mysteries in America that supposedly preys upon unsuspecting campers along the South Carolina coast.  Legends of the creature go back hundreds of years to Native American accounts of “men with tails” in the Smoky Mountains, with more recent sightings dating to 2008 and twenty years before that…

…in 1988, an African American youth was reportedly attacked in his car by the reptilian, which perched on his roof and clawed at his windows.  Later, a crop duster about to take off had the creature appear in his flight path.  In August of 1990, a 19-year-old man was camping, and had his sleep interrupted by a yellow-eyed reptilian.  He repeatedly cracked his bull whip at it, but the spry creature snatched the whip from him, and bit the end off!  Beating a hasty retreat to put distance between himself and the Reptile Man, the subject was later picked up by a Native American, who told the camper that he was lucky he had only run into one of them (dramatic pause with music)!

Now we turn to the girl of your nightmares; the Succubus!  Reported in incidents from South Boston, Virginia, the succubus is a demonic female entity, a literally hot date with fiery eyes and heat to her skin who tries to collect male souls, stealing first breath and then life. Legends of the succubus extend back to stories of Lillith in the biblical Old Testament.  It’s in the nature of the succubus to first appear in dreams, then gradually gain physicality; to banish them, you need to drive them off by faith. 

A former prison counselor was profiled who had extensive dealings with sexual offenders, becoming tainted by them and getting into a darker lifestyle.  A succubus descended upon him one night, paralyzing him in bed until he drove it off by force of will.  A former heavy metal rock musician in 1990’s Springfield, Missouri who led a life of sex, drugs, and rock & roll reported visitations from a succubus who assaulted him.  Alluring at first, the succubus became a powerful, grotesque hag.  Able to finally drive the demon off, the rocker was thereafter compelled to live a more upright life.

Finally on Partrick Road in Napa Valley, California tales of Rebobs, flying monkeys, have lured thrill seekers for sixty years, with multiple sightings having occurred in the 1960’s and 1970’s.  In one incident, campers on Partrick Road heard screaming like a female voice.  Falling asleep, a male in the group later awoke to find large scratch marks across his torso.  Leaving, they later returned in their car, at which time something jumped in front of their vehicle and climbed a tree.  The creature was said to be larger than a man, to be dark and furry with wings, and to emit a terrifying screech.  Called “Rebobs,” these monkeys gone terribly wrong were said to be the creations of a mad scientist who made mutant simian creatures that eventually got loose, and made the area their home. 

A 1997 case cited involved a couple who went in search of the rebobs, going up Partrick Road and struck with a chilling cold.  They eventually found a gothic-looking, abandoned house where they heard and saw a red-eyed creature.  It fixed them with a penetrating stare, and gave them a feeling of lasting fear…

The Pigman of Vermont!

February 20, 2015

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Men are such pigs, sometimes…or so I’ve been told, and can well believe, especially after seeing a recent episode of Monsters and Mysteries in America which dished up one monster and two mysteries. Season 3 seems to be running a bit short on monsters, and so is plugging in more “mysteries,” which in this trilogy included a ghost story and a paranormal segment. That floats my boat, however, as I like a little variety in my viewing diet!

Now the Pigman of Vermont is described as having a man’s body with a pig’s head; he’s massive, muscular, has claws for hands but human feet, and parades around naked. He makes squealing sounds that also carry a shrieking component, and has been seen in the “Devil’s Washbowl” area of Northfield, a place used as a lover’s lane by local teenagers. In fall of 1971, a group of teens at a dance went outside to the woods where they supposedly saw a kneeling creature eating roadkill. Inside a cave in the Devil’s Washbowl area, a type of nesting area has been found, together with bones that were mostly feline. In another reported episode, a couple were making out in their car when the guy went to answer a “call of nature,” encountered the Pigman, and was physically thrown into the underbrush. Their screams drove the creature away, allowing the couple to escape in their car although the guy bore claw-like scratch marks on his chest.  In yet another reported incident, a group of young people walking through the woods had branches thrown in front of them repeatedly and heard squealing, occurrences which encouraged them to flee the area.

Now stories of a “Pigman” supposedly date back to the 15th century, with one story maintaining that a young man handled his pigs with cruelty, meeting one night with a bad end at the claws of the Pigman.  His body was never found, and in one account had been eaten…I do so love stories with a happy ending!  One accounting for the Pigman’s existence holds that he was a physically deformed child living in a feral way…

A second episode was a kind of ghost story from Jamestown, North Carolina detailing the appearances of “Lydia the Hitch Hiker,” the spirit of a young woman woman killed in a car accident in the 1920’s who is now bound to the underpass where she died, still trying to make her way home.  In one accounting from 1924, a man picked up a woman of beaten appearance who rode silently with him, at one point indicating by gesture the home of her residence.  When the man approached the resident of the house to advise them that he was returning their daughter home, the woman present indicated that her daughter had died years ago.  Returning to his car, the motorist found that his passenger had utterly vanished!  Another appearance of the spirit in 1972 was reported, when two young men traveling in a car saw a girl sitting by the side of the road who appeared to have been in a car accident; they originally bypassed her, but returned to offer aid, at which time the passenger of the vehicle became severely alarmed by the figure, urging the driver to pull away.  As they did so, the figure supposedly shrieked, “Come back!” A song, “Bringing Mary Home,” may reflect the case, and an investigator found that the unfortunate spirit’s name may have been Mary rather than Lydia.– A good spooky tale!

The final segment focused on “Project Stargate” supposedly conducted at Fort Meade during the height of the Cold War in an effort to turn psychics into soldier-spies.  Recruits were supposedly capable of “remote viewing,” a controversial psychic phenomena where an individual can project his consciousness, in this case to spy on our enemies.  Exercises involved discerning a “target” in a sealed envelope.  Subjects were also asked to see into the future, with one participant reportedly foreseeing the attack on the USS Stark.  Research was also done by Stargate into UFO activity, with one participant in 1982 perceiving a 300′ long object.  In 1984 when asked to focus on coordinates, one remote viewer perceived an encounter with a race of aliens in the distant past of which we are supposedly the descendants, a thread often found in science fiction…

Tennessee Wildman and Subterranean Reptoids!

January 26, 2015

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In S3/Ep1 of Monsters and Mysteries in America, we are introduced to a “manimal” residing in the eastern border of Tennessee that is a territorial, bipedal creature about seven to nine feet tall with large eyes and black to reddish-orange hair.  Not quite as large as Sasquatch, the beast makes up for its smaller size with attitude, and has been known to throw rocks and shake trees.  Sightings go back to at least 1878, when a doctor reportedly held an exhibition of a captured specimen. 

More recently in December of 1981 following a rash of reports of missing animals, two brothers in Rockwood noted their dog becoming agitated, investigating outside of their cabin to discover a creature holding a dog at the edge of the woods.  They shot twice at the beast, which screamed and they retreated.  In Johnson City, Tennessee in September of 1997, two cousins heard a scream and saw the Wildman in the woods, barely making it back to their car before the creature appeared and then fled.

If you prefer reptilians, Los Angeles supposedly has a sinister and scaly reptilian, reports of which date back to the 1930’s when a mining engineer went in search of them.   In Anaheim, California in November of 2008, a woman walking her dog saw a reptilian creature with fangs and red eyes below a drain gate which seemed to use telepathy.  The woman sought sanctuary in a truck and called her boyfriend as multiple creatures converged on her; he arrived with a bat and chased three off.  In Apple Valley, California a woman made multiple sandwiches for her young daughter to give to an “imaginary friend” who resided in the daughter’s closet.  Investigating, the woman caught a glimpse of something which retreated into a deep hole.

By some accounts prehistoric leftovers, the reptoids by a more sinister accounting are extraterrestrials searching for breeding partners!  A woman reports being pulled off her bed by one and sprayed with some unknown substance.  Military men were later reported to have abducted and examined the woman.  Apparently, not just Mars needs women, and we seem to be off to a wild and wooly start to the Monsters and Mysteries season…

Giants, or Big Hoax?

November 23, 2014

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There’s always been interest in giants, and we’re not referring to sports teams here! A History Channel series, Search for the Lost Giants: Unraveling the Mystery (S1/Ep01) investigates the myths and legends about giants that exist in every culture.

Leading the search are an unlikely duo, Jim and Bill Vieira, two brothers and stone masons from a Massachusetts town. The scrapbook of George Sheldon, a local historian, had clippings about the findings of “giant” remains, with about 1,400 – 1,500 reports supposedly in existence. One 1895 report spurring their investigation detailed the discovery of a skeleton supposedly 8′ tall that boasted a double row of teeth. Their investigation then went to the town of Deerfield, Massachusetts where the use of ground penetrating radar found impressions of a flat rectangle 12′ long that they felt might have been a burial site. As the site was protected, excavation of it was not possible.

In the nearby town of Goshen, Massachusetts there was, however, an underground tunnel 15′ deep that had received some prior study in 1980 with speculation made that it might have been a burial chamber for the ruler of a race of giants. The tunnel was covered by a 6,000 lb. rock sitting atop a 6″ thick rock slab, and nearby was an inscription in stone later determined to be in Latin. Removing the obstructing stone and rock slab, the team penetrated the tunnel to a distance of sixty feet beyond which further penetration was impossible due to a cave-in at that juncture.

Feeling that a concealed burial chamber resided beyond that point, the investigators brought in a core drill to penetrate beyond a “zipper” in the stone wall which suggested that such a secret chamber might exist beyond that point. The drill penetrated to a depth of 11′, bringing up sand from that depth which might have been conducive to the preservation of a burial. Beyond this, there was no hard evidence and no remains were produced.

At one point in the hour-long show, the amateur investigators consulted with a paleoanthropologist who termed it unlikely that giants existed in the absence of physical evidence. If a race of giants did exist, the question abides, where are the bones? Rather far-fetched explanations presented as possibilities included the thoughts that such remains were either deliberately concealed by scientists, or quietly repatriated in North America to native Americans. There are more unanswered than answered questions here, but it will be interesting to see in what additional directions this show goes…

 

 

SubterAlien on”Monsters Underground”

October 15, 2014

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The Destination America network has become a kind of mecca for shows on cryptic creatures and the paranormal, and a series airing there called Monsters Underground follows in the shoes of such shows as Mountain Monsters.  One episode of the former series covered a creature called the SubterAlien, a reputedly intelligent, armed, and hostile being that is both a kind of alien and a hidden life form as well, providing something for the fanciers of both genres.  

The essential format of the show is familiar, and time-tested on similar series.  An investigative team under the leadership of Bill Brock in the episode mentioned went to the supposed habitat of the SubterAlien, an abandoned mine system in Calaveras County, California.  In the 1840’s, the Shadow Mine was a working gold mine which closed when 13 men perished there.  It has since been believed that the SubterAlien was responsible for a series of bizarre occurrences, including the disappearance of electronic equipment.  This burrowing alien stands upright, has huge black eyes, and likes to tinker with the electronics to make other devices of unknown purpose.  At least this guy recycles and re-purposes human technology, kind of like The Thing.  I like to see aliens keep stuff out of landfills!

Well, the exploratory team set up trail cameras, and went into the depths of the winding caverns armed with radiation detectors as the creature’s presence is said to spike radiation levels.  The team did find electronics inexplicably strewn in the tunnels, and heard strange noises.  Radiation levels appeared to be rising, and an alarm was triggered on one of their trail cameras.  Tremors in their location about 200 feet underground caused the team to fear being trapped in an unstable, collapsing mine, and they accordingly beat a hasty retreat, pausing only to recover their trail cameras.  When safely outside, the alarm-sounding camera was scrutinized, and found to contain a blurry image of something passing before the camera lens and obstructing it…a scenario we’ve again seen repeated elsewhere!

Revenge of the Grassman!

July 28, 2014

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In the two-hour season finale of Mountain Monsters, our heroes (?) battle a pack of Grassmen and nearly run afoul of trigger-happy moonshiners in Perry County, Ohio. Buck gets taken out of action by his quarry, and Wild Bill manages to set his pants on fire! Yes, it’s heart-stopping action and low comedy in S2/Ep14 of this “guilty pleasure” type show…one you may watch, but hate yourself for afterwards!

Anyways, the Ohio Grassman is the biggest of the Bigfoot-clones, standing 8′ to 10′ tall, and weighing in at about 1,000 lbs. He has shaggy reddish-brown hair, and appears to be expanding his habitat, bugging the heck out of area farmers by messing with their stuff and in some cases, causing them to live in fear.

First interviewed by the team was “Legman,” a mechanic who heard loud noises close to his house and captured an audio recording, which in team leader Trapper’s opinion sounded like a dying raccoon’s screams. The first night’s hunt took place near “Moonshine Hollow,” where a Grassman heel print and scat were found. The AIMS team did not call it scat, having colorful terms for many things that are not repeatable in polite company. The team then entered a ruined “shine house” used by area moonshiners to concoct their brew. A suspected abandoned Grassman nest was found in the house, but the moonshiners did not take the intrusion kindly, firing off a warning shot and driving the AIMS team out.

Meanwhile, Willy and “Wild Bill” sought to gather materials for trap construction from the salvage yard of “Wild Bill’s” Uncle LeRoy, who was not at home, his nephew speculating that said uncle may have had to go see his parole officer! The absence did not stop Willy and Wild Bill from claiming a junk van, and fabricating it as a trap by modifications such as putting plate steel over the van windows.

Trapper and the rest of the team interviewed “Bernie and Linda,” who had taken and shared a video of something with considerable height going past their window. Also interviewed was “Patrick,” a land owner who saw a huge, hairy being, and produced a video of the same near their cabin. On the final night’s hunt, the team received a call from a nearby farmer, who claimed that the Grassman was in his hay barn. The team hurried there, and while in the upper barn loft saw a hole in the floor. Willy poked around in that hole with his shotgun barrel, and had the weapon ripped from his hands by something in the lower barn. The team then bumbled around the unfamiliar farm complex, separating at times to better survey things. During this time, team member “Buck” got bowled over and battered by a door violently propelled inward, presumably by the Grassman. You might say that Buck got smoked by the Grassman, who seemed to be on a roll at that point. Buck was evacuated with shoulder injuries and apparent superficial bleeding. Returning to their van trap, the remaining team members found that it had been ripped apart, with all bait removed. – – You go, Grassman! Things had apparently gotten personal for most of the team members at this point, who decided to persevere despite getting their collective backsides kicked.

Falling back and seeking to gain more information, the team the next day interviewed “Erik,” a hunter, who had heard and recorded a sound that the team felt was that of the Yahoo from West Virginia. Most of the team then took the risk of going to see the moonshiners again, who met them with guns but agreed to send the team to a clandestine meeting with one of their number who, talking out of a truck, claimed that there were a pack of Grassmen, and that one was their leader. The moonshiners had apparently placated the Grassmen for some time with fermented corn left out for them, but such tributes were no longer working as the Grassmen were beginning to tear up stills and otherwise intrude on moonshiner territory. The moonshiners agreed to let the AIMS team continue their pursuit of the Grassman so as to be rid of him, but also issued thinly-veiled threats to the team if they overstepped their boundaries; these guys play for keeps, and have itchy trigger fingers.

Back at their camp at night, the team was under siege by Grassmen, and sought to chase them from the area in one of their ATV’s when the vehicle was nearly tipped over by a large rock thrown at it! They beat a hasty but awkward exit from the disabled vehicle, finding themselves encircled by multiple Grassmen, who threw multiple rocks and limbs at them, one of which hit team leader “Trapper” in the head and knocked him to the ground! Warning shots were fired which drove the attacking creatures off.

The next day, Willy and “Wild Bill” set up a “mine field” of leg hold traps buried in the ground, with the field baited by fermented corn left unannounced by the moonshiners. They also had been left a crude note of advice guiding them to a “North Point” where something existed that the Grassmen supposedly didn’t want seen. Going to a barn in that location, something pulled at Trapper’s leg, causing him to loose his balance and fall. Numerous footprints were seen outside in the snow, and Grassman “nests” were seen in the barn. Impacts were heard against the barn walls, and a “mash stash” was found in the barn where the Grassmen had stored it. The AIMS team confiscated the fermented corn, thinking that this would drive the Grassmen in search of it into their leg traps. Driving back to their camps, something thrown again impacted with the ATV, forcing the team into a defensive posture with Willy and Wild Bill going back on foot to the camp to fetch the other vehicle and finding the camp trashed. The team returned in the other ATV to go to the trap area when something yet again impacted with the ATV, that object turning out to be one of the leg hold traps that had been ripped from the ground!

Now this was pretty slick, indicating that the Grassmen had both figured out where and what the concealed traps were, and demonstrating their considerable strength in tearing them from the ground. Repeatedly under attack and thwarted at every turn and with their camp trashed, the AIMS team abandoned their pursuit at that point, but resolved to be back in the future. This looked like an end-of-season “cliffhanger” to me, intended to draw viewers back for yet another season and a potential grudge match with the Grassmen…

Bloodless Howler of Harrison County!

July 19, 2014

 

 

wpid-wp-1405813063343.jpeg – -You’ve gotta admit that “Bloodless Howler” is a far better name for a supposed monster than “Hogzilla” or “Sheepsquatch,” and in S2/Ep13 of Mountain Monsters the AIMS team is hot on the trail of this feline/canine hybrid, reputed to weigh 350 lbs. or more, and to have a feline head with a canine-type body.  Interestingly enough, the creature is a “blood sucker,” draining its prey of blood but not consuming their flesh.  Yet another “monster” indigenous to West Virginia, the Howler was first sighted by coal miners who heard its howl, and found prey drained of blood.  One more thing: the creature is reported to be bulletproof, with bullets passing harmlessly through it…

First interviewed was “Cornbread” (not to be confused with Cornfed, the pig-detective on Duckman), who heard a howling noise and saw something with red eyes that was half coyote and half mountain lion.  He fled from it but fell, firing four rounds into it from the ground that didn’t seem to have any effect but thereafter able to regain his footing and flee.  During their first night’s investigation, the team found a “piss post” marked with the creature’s urine, and thought that they saw a large, white creature.  They heard howling and decided to retreat, in that process seeing a dead deer drained of blood with its throat torn out.  

Team members Willy and “Wild Bill” then built a tiger drop box trap, with low comedy provided by “Wild Bill” sliding about by intention on the snowy frozen terrain and at one point making multiple attempts to drive a nail, in the process of which one nail struck him in the face and drew blood.  “Tom,” a mechanic, was interviewed who reported seeing a creature with the body of a dog and a lion-like head.  He also presented a video which showed something going between two vehicles in his junkyard.  Last interviewed was “Charlie,” a farmer, who returned to hogs he was butchering to find a bucket of blood drained.  The bucket was presented to the team, who found the bucket pierced with bite marks.

Well, the trap was set up on Tom’s property, baited with deer and hog blood.  In light of the beast’s reputation for being bulletproof, “Wild Bill” prepared a pointed stick to go after it with.  The team split into two, seeking to drive the creature from opposite directions towards their trap.  “Buck’s” team found a scent post and an apparent den, calling then upon “Trapper’s” group but losing radio contact.  The two factions reunited, however, seeing a thermal image in the junkyard.  These guys are anything but stealthy, making enough noise and commotion to wake the dead.  Converging on their trap, “Wild Bill” saw something in it, but whatever it was managed to escape by digging through a weak point in the back of the trap with the ground having been softened by thawing weather conditions.  

Once again, no catch…but team member “Huckleberry” seemed happy to claim “Wild Bill’s” pointed hunting stick for future use as a back scratcher…and oh yes, next week is the season finale!  I’m sure we can hardly wait…  

 

Hogzilla!

July 12, 2014

 

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The topic of really large feral pigs has come up before on some shows like Monster Quest, and doctored photos of hunters with gigantic hog kills may readily be found on the Internet. It was probably just a matter of time before the Mountain Monsters crew went hog wild themselves, finally venturing out of West Virginia into Hocking Hills, Ohio for a crack at the big pig. You do know as well that the bottom of the barrel is being scraped when a wild boar is being considered a “monster.”

Well, the Hogzilla in question was reputed to weigh 1,200 lbs., be 8′ to 9′ long, and stand about 4-1/2′ tall at the shoulders. Most interestingly, the hog is reputed to have small, crude, usable paws. It was first sighted in the 1790’s, and terrorizes local farmers.

A local eyewitness called “Wild Man” was first interviewed, a backwoods archaeologist who reported seeing a fanged creature who got up on two legs. In the area, the team found a log broken open for grubs. On their first night’s investigation, the team found a trail with leaves torn up, saw a thermal image, heard the beast roar, and found his nest; team member Buck claimed to have caught a glimpse of the beast.

A tunnel trap was built of steel while expert tracker “Wild Bill” provided low comedy grossness by chewing on pork ribs, contending that he was “eating his enemy.” A farmer called Beau was interviewed who contended that the creature tore up his feed bags, and that he saw it stand on its back legs. Beau also shared a shadowy cell phone video of the beast. Also interviewed were hobbyists Tom and Elaine, who had a trail camera image clearer than most that showed the front half of a boar.

The trap was baited with corn and covered with brush, and the final night’s hunt was conducted by Beau’s barn. Urine and mangled underbrush were seen, and “Buck” made hog calls. The hog was tracked to a barn where he could be heard but not seen; the wily devil had slipped out! They pursued him to a feed trailer, where the hog burst out the back. Hooting and hollering, the team pursued their quarry to the trap, where…miracle of miracles…they had actually caught something, a Russian wild boar about 8′ long. It did not have long razor tusks or paws, but as Wild Bill sagely proclaimed, “That is one big pig!”

Seemingly ecstatic that they had actually caught something for once, the team called animal control. Hail to thee, oh mighty hunters! – – Are you not entertained?!