Archive for the ‘imaginary animals’ category
December 15, 2011
– – A turducken by definition is a boned turkey stuffed with a boned duck that is itself stuffed with a small boned chicken which sometimes also contains a breadcrumb or sausage meat stuffing! It is perhaps a commentary on western society that with starvation still rampant in the third world and even parts of the west, a way has been found to combine and consume the flesh of three (perhaps four) animals simultaneously, but we’ll leave such musings to the philosophers…perhaps such could be considered at the next Republican debate, which might prove amusing…
Governor Perry: “If one of them things comes near me, I’ll shoot it and eat it myself!”
…but for our purposes, we are left to consider what a mythical creature such as a turducken might actually look like, and Pepto Bismol has come to our rescue here in both gastric and imaginative terms! The Smoke & Mirrors design, animation and VFX studio created a vision of the turducken that combined the green-hued head, beak, and webbed feet of the mallard duck with the comb and wattle of a chicken and the wings and tail feather configuration of a turkey. The body incorporates a gradation of the feathering of all three animals.
We may see the fruits of these creative efforts in the latest Pepto Bismol commercial, where we are shown a flock(?) of the mighty turducken as they move in a great tide over the plains! The creature might be a natural for an animated kiddie series…
Categories: animals, cool things, fantasy, feathered friends, furry commercials, imaginary animals, television
Tags: Pepto Bismol's turducken
Comments: 2 Comments
May 2, 2011
– – Gossamer is a hulking, hairy reddish monster somewhat reminiscent of Bigfoot who is part of the Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies universe. He wears enormous tennis shoes, and has a heart-shaped face in which may be seen oval eyes and a wide mouth. Beyond these features and dirty clawed fingers, little else may be discerned about Gossamer, whose primary characteristic is the trademark hair; indeed, Gossamer may be made entirely of hair! He is anything but gossamer, a name referring to a delicate type of spider silk.
First appearing in the 1946 film Hair-Raising Hare, Gossamer was the henchman of a mad scientist who bears a strong resemblance to Peter Lorre; if you don’t know who that is, you don’t watch enough old classic films ! Anyways, Bugs Bunny is lured by a mechanical female rabbit to the lair of the mad scientist to be a meal for Gossamer, but makes merry sport of the monster instead (“I’m always interested in meeting interesting people!,” Bugs tells the creature while working on his nails). Gossamer is revealed to be frightened of people, who it must be admitted can be pretty frightening.
Originally nameless, Gossamer was referred to as Rudolph in a 1952 short, and didn’t land the name Gossamer until such was bestowed on him by none less than Marvin the Martian in the 1980 Duck Dodgers feature. Gossamer has enjoyed small roles in a number of Warner Bros. productions since…
Categories: animal oddities, anomalies, cartoons, furry, imaginary animals, weird
Tags: cartoon cryptids, Gossamer, Looney Tunes characters
Comments: 1 Comment
October 9, 2010
– – Once feared as an evil cross between a demon and a turtle, the Kappa has become somewhat of a Japanese national mascot, more loved than feared and depicted on such innocuous items as lunchboxes. The darker incarnation of the Kappa, however, is blamed for the disappearance of livestock and even children, prompting a segment on a Destination Truth investigation.
Journeying to the location of a recent reported Kappa sighting near Tono, Josh Gates and his team set up infrared and trap cameras to capture any images of the elusive beast, and broke into two groups to sweep the area. They saw a large dark shape in the water, which was later regarded by experts to be a large fish or perhaps an eel. Also checking out skeletal remains of a reported Kappa foot at a Japanese shrine, the team returned with photographs of the same, which were regarded by a mammalogist to be bones of a canine.
The conclusion?–Evidence for the Kappa is not convincing, and the creature exists at the juncture of folklore and animal misidentification…
Categories: animals, cryptozoology, imaginary animals, mysteries, scalies, unidentified, weird
Tags: Japanese Kappa monster on Destination Truth
Comments: 2 Comments
September 25, 2010
– – We all know that the government does terrible things behind our backs, like the calamitous Plum Island experiment that created yours truly.–Well, it would appear that the Navy has engineered a half-shark, half-octopus killing machine as a super-weapon which, of course, gets out of control as genetically-engineered creatures are prone to do…life would be so dreary if they didn’t!
The sharktopus shows a perverse predilection for beautiful blond women in bikinis, dragging them off boats, beaches, and bungee cords…gotta love the big lug! He also is not deterred by machine gun fire, otherwise the movie might be over quickly.
Coming from B-movie king Roger Corman and boasting a cheesy theme song, the absurd, low-budget made-for-tv movie Sharktopus may be a real hoot! –Witness the glory that is Syfy this Saturday night!
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, creature features, furry, imaginary animals, movies, television
Tags: Sharktopus
Comments: 4 Comments
September 9, 2010
– – You gotta give the Syfy channel credit for trying to please us, and Beast Legends starting September 9th at 10:00 in my area just might be the ticket! Billed as an “investigative adventure series,” Legends features a team of a globetrotting animal doctor, a Harvard professor of evolutionary biology, a gifted illustrator, and a mythology maven as they explore the truth behind some of the world’s most renowned creatures. Your payoff will be a life-like computer-generated model of the creature investigated depicted living in the real world at the end of each show, kinda like the mortal combat simulations shown at the end of Deadliest Warrior matchings.
The show will follow season four of Destination Truth, which could make Thursday night quite a draw on Syfy for our types!- –All hail the mighty Kraken!
Categories: anthropomorphic, creature features, cryptozoology, furry, imaginary animals, mysteries, television, unexplained, unidentified, weird
Tags: "Beast Legends", New Syfy show
Comments: 3 Comments
August 15, 2010
– – Yes, that’s right…another post on the same topic, something without precedent in the annals of Foxsylvania! Some say that he’s cuter than the Geico gecko, but you can’t compare apples and oranges, and appearance is subjective, anyways! At any rate, Maxwell the Pig has taken on a life of his own, and appears at home both everywhere and nowhere, a surreal porker for the 21st century. Both lovable and annoying, he’s just being himself! With a literary tradition going back to the 1728 nursery rhyme (“The Nurse’s Song”), this little piggy is as old as the 18th century but as fresh as tomorrow!
Maxwell knows that life is too important a matter to be taken seriously. He has a childlike quality and exuberance that would brighten the psyches of the worst “namby pamby jackwagons.” The endless squealing is meaningless, yet somehow manages to say it all…that embracing life with a pinwheel in each hand while leaning out of the window and shrieking with delight is perhaps the best of all ways to handle it!
The name “Maxwell” is of English/Scottish/Welsh origins, and means “major well.” This well is one we all could benefit from drinking from…
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, furry, imaginary animals, television
Tags: Geico pig, Maxwell the pig
Comments: 1 Comment
April 15, 2010
– – I’m a sucker for mythology with the usual elements of ultraviolence and the bizarre thrown in, so Clash of the Titans is my kinda thing. The 1981 original didn’t exactly enjoy cult status, but was kind of a campy classic, even boasting Laurence Olivier as Zeus, a mechanical owl called Bubo, and stop action special effects that were all that was available at the time. If you allowed yourself, you could still have a lot of fun with this film, cheesiness and all.
Reviews haven’t been overly positive for the re-make which I have yet to see, with many faulting the dialogue, character motivation, and general lack of humor in the film, which was hastily re-made in 3D. The Kraken is eventually released and visually impressive, reminding me however of the toothy Langoliers creatures from Stephen King. Some have preferred the battle sequence with the gorgon Medusa depicted in Titans… but it’s all good!
…So pass the popcorn, will ‘ya?
Categories: cool things, creature features, imaginary animals, movies
Tags: Clash of the Titans, The Kraken
Comments: 6 Comments
March 30, 2010
– – An image macro and one of a number of Advice Dog variations, Philosoraptor originated on 4chan with the image starting out as a T-shirt design on Lonelydinosaur.com. Philosoraptor challenges the reader with his deep, existential, and Paleolithic questions…in my book, he’s far cooler than Advice Dog!
The Urban Dictionary defines Philosoraptor as one who engages in aggressive moral or ethical debate tactics…you are alive (for the moment) when the Philosoraptor engages you in Socratic dialogue, so try to show a little respect or he will open your mind using eighty razor sharp teeth and two 4-inch sickle claws…
Categories: Brilliant but twisted, cool things, extinct species, imaginary animals, scalies
Tags: imaginary animals we like, Philosoraptor
Comments: 5 Comments
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