Archive for the ‘furry’ category

Soupy Sales Gone…

October 24, 2009

Soupy Sales— I can’t take the loss of many more of my childhood icons; Captain Kangaroo has passed on, and now also Soupy Sales at age 83.   Soupy in my opinion has never gotten the credit or recognition that he deserved; a comedian of television, radio, and film born Milton Supman, Soupy drew heavily from slapstick and also used word play and improvisation. His comedy wasn’t always sophisticated, but it could be clever and was always funny; taking a pie in the face was a stock in trade, and Soupy estimated that he and his visitors took 20,000 pies in the course of his career.  Soupy was big at the time in the New York area where I grew up in to the extent that kids would imitate him and do his routines.

Soupy had furry elements; two of the visitors to his shows were dogs called White Fang and Black Tooth, who appeared at his door as giant shaggy paws with felt triangular claws.  White Fang spoke with unintelligible growls and grunts which Soupy repeated back to his audience in English; Black Tooth was also unintelligible, but was into giving loud and sloppy kisses to Soupy off-camera.   Then there was Pookie the Lion, a hip character prone to appearing in Soupy’s window who you could understand. – -Soupy even had a novelty dance record and song called The Mouse which was wildly popular in the mid-1960’s!- –Hey!–Do the Mouse, Yeah! I last saw Soupy on game shows, those last retreats of celebrities past their popularity prime.  Even then, he was funny, using his improv talents to transcend the medium and material that he had to work with.

As Soupy was influenced by the Marx Brothers, so he also influenced other comedians including Andy Kaufman and Paul Reubens; if you twist and press Soupy’s persona, you get Pee-wee Herman!   Soupy was an earlier prototype of the cheerfully demented childrens’ TV show host, filled with manic energy.   All of these comics realized that much comic inspiration can be drawn from childhood, which can be darker and more twisted  than many realize…

Thank you, Soupy, for all the laughter and the furry undertones!   To quote lyrics from The Mouse, “every cat in the neighborhood will be in shock.”

Cats, you see, loved Soupy Sales, and will miss him as will I…


Beer Bear!

October 20, 2009

Beer Bear– -A bear walked into a beer department in Wisconsin…no, it really happened last Thursday!  The 125-pound black bear wandered into a Hayward grocery store, went up and down the aisles, and then decided to check out the bruin, going into the beer cooler in the liquor department, and climbing twelve feet up onto a shelf!  No other customers were in the store at the time, and the single store clerk just kind of blocked things off and summoned authorities.

The bear sat on the shelf for about an hour until Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources officers tranquilized the bear, and removed him unceremoniously from the store.  No bottles of beer were broken…

…was the bear hangin’ with his Bud?Hey, hey, hey!–He’s smarter than the average bear!–If the Ranger had given him one more pic-a-nic basket, this might not have happened!

Goat Renaissance!

October 19, 2009

Goat– – Goats are going through a bit of a renaissance lately…there’s a wonderful new Thera-gesic arthritis commercial with an old woman extolling the virtue of goat tears (“Takes the pain riiight away”), and now there’s a George Clooney movie with goats,  Men Who Stare At Goats.

I’ve always felt that goats have been under-rated for years; they’re intelligent, whimsical, and can make good pets, too.  Perhaps our trendy celebrities will take to championing and adopting goats.- -See, goats aren’t so baaad…

My Wish List…

October 11, 2009

monarch– – I’d  really like to have a costumed arch-nemesis; no plain-clothes nemesis for me, thank you very much…those with a costumed arch-nemesis tend to be memorable, like Batman.  People remember the Joker or the Riddler, but almost certainly wouldn’t remember the Freemason or the Certified Public Accountant. An arch-nemesis has a history with you, in many cases arching you for years; it’s a love/hate thing, really.  A arch-nemesis should be colorful but not competent; you don’t want them to actually do you in (for further exploration of the complex relationship one may have with a costumed arch-nemesis, catch the Venture Brothers on Adult Swim, the Cartoon Network).

What about henchmen?–If you have henchmen, they’ll have to go through them to get to you, and maybe your enemy will wear themselves out.  Henchmen give you extra time to get away, bargain, plea, or just work up to a good cry.  Plus if you have henchmen, you’re giving others work in this depressed economy.

Could I possibly get a sidekick?–Batman, Aquaman, and the Green Arrow have one.  I don’t think Marvel superheroes have sidekicks as much; Wolverine would probably kill his. – – Cancel the sidekick; I’d probably be arrested, especially if it was some teenaged guy in tights.   Maybe the sidekick would write a tell-all book, and we’d split the profits and get rich.  Money isn’t everything, but it’s way ahead of whatever’s in second place.

I’d also like to have minions, followers who hang on your every word and do your bidding.  No one’s done my bidding to this point in my life, so I figure I’m overdue.  In this category, I’d like to have a cat’s-paw, which should not be confused with a rabbit’s foot; some of my best friends are cats, and I’m not into the amputation of bodily parts.  A cat’s-paw is kinda like a chief minion or tool that acts in your behalf.–Wouldn’t that be cool?

…and why don’t we have manservants anymore?–If you want something, a manservant is there to get it for you, and wait on you hand and foot.  I’d like to have someone wait on my feet, and a manservant sounds classy; kind of like a gentleman’s gentleman.  You’ve gotta love the redundancy of that!

So I’m gonna ask Santa for these things; I’d be satisfied to get any of them.  If that doesn’t work, maybe I could get some of that federal stimulus money, ’cause these things would be stimulatin’ to me, woo!    😉

Tiger Mauling!

October 10, 2009

Vitali— A 27-year-old Canadian man was mauled early last Monday by a Siberian tiger after he and a friend broke into the Calgary Zoo and scaled an outer perimeter  fence around the animal’s exhibit.  While seriously injured, the man is expected to recover, and his friend was not hurt.

The two men stood between the outer fence that they scaled and an inner cage where the tiger, Vitali (pictured) was housed.   Once the two-year-old tiger was startled, he probably hooked the one man with a claw, dragged his arm in, and continued to attack, officials said.

The tiger was trying to protect itself, officials added, and had never previously attacked any people.  Vitali will remain in his current environment, not being responsible for human stupidity…


Too Much of a Good Thing…

October 9, 2009

cat hoarding— In Sacramento, California animal control officers seized 77 cats from a home in one of the worst animal hoarding cases seen in that county.  Cat cages were stacked floor to ceiling with animals roaming everywhere and feces caked around the home…the homeowners say that they were taking good care of the cats…right!

The house in Sacramento has been condemned, and police say that they’ll seek felony animal cruelty charges against the couple.   A maximum of seven cats is allowed in that area.

Animal hoarding may be considered a form of Obsessive-Compulsive disorder…and I won’t make a comment about excessive petting…

Furry Court Case!

October 8, 2009

bullfighting– – Warning:  Some Adult Topic Matter. The Supreme Court has been asked to rule on a law with furry implications which involves video depictions of animal cruelty. The disputed statute was used to prosecute a Virginia man who sold videos of pit bull fights.

The law originally was created in 1999 due to rightful congressional worries over “crush” videos, which, I’m horrified to say, depict women pounding high heels into small animals to appeal to an extremely sick and sadistic sexual kink.  Civil liberty groups say that the statute is overly broad and could leave to prosecutors’ discretion whether to go after films that show hunting and bullfighting; I’ve found such videos objectionable as well, but it boils down to what is considered animal cruelty, and how broadly one defines it.

The justices have indicated that Congress went too far in its attempt to protect animals from abuse…note that Justice Scalia is an avid hunter.  I regret that civil liberties and animal rights groups have found themselves at odds over this one, a case which may have unfortunate and far-reaching implications, and may be construed as a step backwards…

Sal’awa on “Destination Truth”

October 1, 2009

salawa– – Destination Truth in a recent new episode featured Chernobyl but had a secondary story on about the Sal’awa, described by highly emotional eyewitnesses as a canine monster about the size of a dog but with hind legs that are somewhat longer than the front legs, a large muzzle that resembles that of a hyena, and imposing sharp teeth.

Reports of the Sal’awa first appeared in Cairo, Egypt in the 1960’s and 1970’s, with a resurgence of sightings then beginning in 1996.  In 2008 in Aswan, the creature supposedly attacked a 3-year-old baby girl and a 57-year-old man, who died after reaching the hospital.

The Destination Truth team interviewed a number of eyewitnesses, including a mother who claimed the creature would have killed her child had she not beaten it off.  The investigators also tracked an unknown creature through a sugar cane field, complete with bouncing camera images and spooky green- or yellow-tinged lighting, popular since The Blair Witch Project. While some impressive growls were recorded, and a footprint was seen and copied  that was later identified as canine, the only image recorded was that of…an Egyptian fox!–Yuppers, my kind is everywhere!

While even the Destination Truth people downplayed the likelihood of a Sal’awa existing, the Egyptian people who have reported it may have been responding to a large feral dog or a hybrid of some kind…

Sticky Business…

September 29, 2009

cat duct taped— Now this is just plain wrong!   A cat dubbed “Sticky” was wrapped in duct tape head to tail and dumped in a paper bag in a neighbor’s yard for 12 hours.  The 19-year-old Philadelphia man who did this was described as having, “a lot of issues.”  He faces animal cruelty charges, a fine, and jail time.

Other that being dehydrated, Sticky the cat survived his ordeal.  He was sedated to have the duct tape removed.

‘Scuse  me now, but I’ve got a human to wrap in duct tape…for if there are no human laws to fit the crime, there is always a higher law which can (holds up a large roll of gray duct tape, laughs darkly, and exits…)

Mobile Dog Fighting…

September 26, 2009

dog fighting– -This picture is a mild example of dog fighting; most are bloody and sickening.–How are dog fighters adapting to increasing law enforcement against their despicable activities?–By going mobile, in a practice called “trunking”…

in “trunking,” large cars with spacious trunks are used to stage dog fights while loud music is played to muffle the sounds of the brutality.  The vehicle may actually be kept moving while the fighting transpires, then stop.  Whichever dog is still alive at that point is the winner, with the dead loser simply tossed to the side of the road.   As the entire operation is mobile, it’s difficult for law enforcement to target it and close in.

Animal control officers in Paterson, New Jersey are stepping up enforcement and warning the public about the practice, with arrests having occurred in other states.  The Humane Society is offering a $5,000 reward for information on anyone participating in trunking…