Archive for the ‘furry’ category

Do Woodchucks Chuck Wood?

September 16, 2010

– – Geico has brilliantly re-invented classic lines and slogans, beginning with the little piggy who cried wee-wee-wee all the way home, and now posing the question of,  “Can Geico save you 15% or more on car insurance?–Do woodchucks chuck wood?”- Remember how kids love that old chestnut of a tongue-twister when they’re about ten?

Well, these anthropomorphic woodchucks certainly chuck wood, and they appear to have made an afternoon’s entertainment of it, taking turns heaving the wood into a pond accompanied by their own maniacal laughter, sorta like the Beavis and Butthead of the rodent world.- -Oops, watch out, here comes the farmer, and he’s mighty ticked, shouting “Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!” None too deterred by the farmer, the woodchucks continue chucking their wood…and do you blame them?– They’re woodchucks, for crying out loud, it’s what they do!

– -Catch this video airing on television or YouTube and elsewhere, sure to be a classic!

“Beast Legends” Is Upon Us!

September 9, 2010

– – You gotta give the Syfy channel credit for trying to  please us, and Beast Legends starting September 9th at 10:00 in my area just might be the ticket!  Billed as an “investigative adventure series,” Legends features a team of a globetrotting animal doctor, a Harvard professor of evolutionary biology, a gifted illustrator, and a mythology maven as they explore the truth behind some of the world’s most renowned creatures.  Your payoff will be a life-like computer-generated model of the creature investigated depicted living in the real world at the end of each show, kinda like the mortal combat simulations shown at the end of Deadliest Warrior matchings.

The show will follow season four of Destination Truth, which could make Thursday night quite a draw on Syfy for our types!- –All hail the mighty Kraken!

Katz the Cat!

September 3, 2010

— Cats kind of tolerate us because we are useful to them; one can see this orientation in Katz, villain of Courage the Cowardly Dog. Now Courage has faced many enemies, often anthropomorphic, including my personal fave The Cajun Fox, who treats even his rivals with friendliness and can drive a car and pilot a plane!

Not as relaxed and laid-back as the Cajun Fox, Katz is a red, lanky anthropomorphic cat with purplish stripes who specializes in scam businesses, such as a vacation resort and motel, always with the intent of killing the patrons when he has no further need of them.  Katz’s catchphrase is, “I wish you hadn’t done that,” usually uttered after he gets injured.  Katz enjoys a “little spot of sport” with Courage, as all of his battles with the dog are games, such as a staring contest.

Springboarding off our previous post featuring spiders, an episode called A Night At The Katz Motel was indebted to Hitchcock’s Psycho, and featured Katz trying to kill Courage’s masters by using giant, horrifying spiders to eat them.  Katz is a smooth and wonderfully sadistic feline who has a vaguely British accent and his own sinister background music, and lovingly maintains a spider collection.

As Katz did say,  “Yes, set a plan; cunning, elaborate, over the top!”- –This is a furry villain you’ve got to love! 


Magnificent Obsession

August 28, 2010

– -Uh–oh!–The previous post has gotten me going again on Catwoman, and I’m afraid you’ll just have to ride it out with me…

Catwoman really has the complete package; she’s furry, female, and feline with just the right touch of sado-masochism going on.   As the folks at Toyota might say, who could ask for anything more?

In the cult of Catwoman, I might be considered a zealot; I’d go door-to-door for her! In fact, I think a National Catwoman Day might be a good idea as kind of a fusion of Halloween, religion, and furry awareness. Besides, who couldn’t use another day off, especially for such a worthy cause?

Catwoman also has an approach-avoidance thing going on; she’s dark, and we wouldn’t have her any other way!   You know that Catwoman would take you to heaven before she sends you to hell…

…and I know it’s all a fantasy.  Catwoman belongs to Batman, after all. –But a fox can dream, can’t he?  😉

Not the Purr-fect Criminal!

August 28, 2010

– – I’ve confessed before to having a weakness for Catwoman, and can you really blame me?  It turns out, however, that a real-life “Cat-Lady” was staging robberies of boutiques in Queens and Manhattan in New York City, wearing a variety of disguises that included…(dramatic pause)…a cheesy cat mask! Her wanted posters were unusual, to say the least…crank up the Bat-Signal, Commissioner Gordon!

The felonious feline’s daytime identity was that of a death-metal band singer, who performed under the stage name of Purgatory. Now her evil-doing days are over, and Gotham City is safe again!

This was, of course, a pale impersonation of the genuine article, whose whip this wanna-be is not worthy to carry…Meow!



Fur-give?–Suffering Succotash!

August 26, 2010

– – A 45-year-old British woman recently became a hate figure after she was caught by a security camera putting a living cat into a trash bin and slamming the lid.  The cat, named Lola, was found distraught and hungry by her owners some 15 hours later by following her cries.

The woman, a bank worker, has apologized for the incident but just doesn’t seem to fully understand the outrage following her behavior.  She apparently trashed the poor cat on a lark, thinking that it would be “funny” to put the feline into the dumpster.  “OK, I shouldn’t have done it,” the woman is quoted as saying, “but it’s just a cat at the end of the day.”

–Just a cat?!- –Some of my best friends are cats, and perhaps we should participate in such merry sport by confining the woman responsible in a trash dumpster for 15 hours.   Police are guarding the house of the woman after a Facebook page urged that she be put to death…  😦

James Bond, the Dog…

August 22, 2010

– – We’ve all suspected for some time that our animal companions lead secret lives, like Perry the Platypus.–Well, a beagle in Thunderbolt, Georgia has tapped into the social networking thing and has his own Twitter account, spending the day tweeting about his day with the aid of his human.  He has over 3,000 followers, a number which continues to grow daily.- -Catch this canine spy at JamesBondTheDog on Twitter…I just hope that he doesn’t run afoul of Blofeld or another of the Bond villains! 

Raystown Ray…

August 19, 2010

– – Pennsylvania’s Raystown Lake in Huntingdon County boasts its own unidentified aquatic creature, with boaters describing sudden water turbulence and old photos showing large shadowy figures just below the surface…

Now Raystown Lake spans about 30 miles and reaches depths of over 185 feet, so there’s plenty of room for a potential cryptid to hide.   Fact or Faked:  Paranormal Files recently did a segment on the creature that included eyewitness accounts, experiments, a sonar run, and a diving search.   Something was seen in the water of considerable size, while visibility was poor and the investigation was inconclusive;  investigators felt that there was something in the water, but that it remained unexplained.- -What could more true, or safer to say?  We’ve heard this kinda thing many times before…

The creature if it exists is felt to be vegetarian, and to display behaviors and feeding habits similar to a manatee.  I personally have been on Raystown Lake, and unfortunately saw nothing…


Polar Bear Attack…

August 16, 2010

– – How, you may ask, do you thwart a polar bear attack?–After all, it is well-known that the readers of Foxsylvania want to be prepared for every possible contingency, including a zombie apocalypse.   It is best not to tase the polar bear, or to tempt him with a picnic basket…so what do you do when the bear is standing on your gun?!

When you absolutely, positively must do something and prefer not to become bear kibble, consider making a loud, threatening noise and punching the offending bear in the nose.  This tactic apparently worked rather well for a 67-year-old wilderness guide in the far Canadian north.  Polar bears, you see, have a very sensitive nose.  This was advice passed on to the wilderness guide by an Inuit elder, and it did work in this specific instance.

Failing in that, the wilderness guide might have had to resort to bad Terrance and Phillip impersonations, being that it was in Canada and all…

…And A Little Pig Shall Lead Them!

August 15, 2010

– – Yes, that’s right…another post on the same topic, something without precedent in the annals of Foxsylvania!   Some say that he’s cuter than the Geico gecko, but you can’t compare apples and oranges, and appearance is subjective, anyways!  At any rate, Maxwell the Pig has taken on a life of his own, and appears at home both everywhere and nowhere, a surreal porker for the 21st century.   Both lovable and annoying, he’s just being himself!  With a literary tradition going back to the 1728 nursery rhyme (“The Nurse’s Song”), this little piggy is as old as the 18th century but as fresh as tomorrow!

Maxwell knows that life is too important a matter to be taken seriously.  He has a childlike quality and exuberance that would brighten the psyches of the worst “namby pamby jackwagons.” The endless squealing is meaningless,  yet somehow manages to say it allthat embracing life with a pinwheel in each hand while leaning out of the window and shrieking with delight is perhaps the best of all ways to handle it!

The name “Maxwell” is of English/Scottish/Welsh origins, and means “major well.”  This well is one we all could benefit from drinking from…