Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category

Honey Badger…

December 24, 2011

 – – Although only the size of a medium dog and weighing in at about thirty pounds, it’s hard to find a more vicious and tenacious predator than the African Honey Badger (Mellivora capensis), also known as the Ratel.  A relative of the Wolverine, the Honey Badger has been listed in the Guiness Book of World Records as “The World’s Most Fearless Creature.”  

The Ratel’s well-deserved fearsome reputation has been earned based on the fact that it has no known natural predators, and has been known to attack jackals, wildebeest, wild boars, buffalo, humans, monitor lizards, and even lions and cheetahs!  Armed with razor-sharp teeth and inch-and-a-half long claws, the Honey Badger routinely eats poisonous snakes, spiders, and scorpions.  The Ratel also loves honey, from which he gets his name, acquiring such by boldly invading a beehive and using his quarter-inch thick skin to absorb the hundreds of stings he’s likely to receive in the effort. 

Not registering fear, pain, or any emotion other than anger, the Honey Badger has become a popular internet meme, and may be seen in commercials opening pistachios by flailing them with a cobra…

 

Pepto Bismol’s “Turducken”

December 15, 2011

 – – A turducken by definition is a boned turkey stuffed with a boned duck that is itself stuffed with a small boned chicken which sometimes also contains a breadcrumb or sausage meat stuffing!   It is perhaps a commentary on western society that with starvation still rampant in the third world and even parts of the west, a way has been  found to combine and consume the flesh of three (perhaps four) animals simultaneously, but we’ll leave such musings to the philosophers…perhaps such could be considered at the next Republican debate, which might prove amusing…

Governor Perry:  “If one of them things comes near me, I’ll shoot it and eat it myself!”

…but for our purposes, we are left to consider what a mythical creature such as a turducken might actually look like, and Pepto Bismol has come to our rescue here in both gastric and  imaginative terms!  The Smoke & Mirrors design, animation and VFX studio created a vision of the turducken that combined the green-hued head, beak, and webbed feet of the mallard duck with the comb and wattle of a chicken and the wings and tail feather configuration of a turkey.  The body incorporates a gradation of the feathering of all three animals. 

We may see the fruits of these creative efforts in the latest Pepto Bismol commercial, where we are shown a flock(?) of the mighty turducken as they move in a great tide over the plains!  The creature might be a natural for an animated kiddie series…

Cabela’s “Big Game Hunter” Buck

December 13, 2011

 – – I don’t like hunting, even in its video game incarnations since the goal is killing the most helpless, majestic animal that you possibly can.  The commercials for the PS3 version of the product, however, are a hoot, featuring as they do a sentient and articulate buck who sits on the couch while playing the game and winging comments at his human host as he does so.  In one commercial version (not depicted) the buck even mocks an outrageous sweater that the host is wearing!

While it’s arguably creepy that a deer would be depicted killing other animals including his own kind, perhaps he’s just imitating his human models…and I’ll take as much of a deer trash-talking humans as I can get!

Red Bull’s Zebra Commercial…

November 30, 2011

 – – Red Bull commercials generally impart the concept that by drinking Red Bull, the consumer acquires superhuman strength and abilities that allow him or her to perform an extraordinary feat.  One such commercial puts a furry twist on this theme by introducing a female zebra who is depicted having an unfortunate encounter with an alligator after she first applies lipstick and then downs a can of Red Bull.

Things do not look good for our fashionable zebra when she goes for a splash in a nearby river and is assaulted by an opportunistic alligator who goes into his death roll with her, a usual finishing move.  We assume the worst when the combatants disappear below the water surface, but fortified by Red Bull our heroine emerges a moment later, sporting…a new alligator purse!

Red Bull, you see, gives you wings…and females are considerably tougher than they look as well!

DirecTV’s “Frozen in Time”

November 24, 2011

 – – DirecTV’s “Don’t Just Watch TV” campaign continues with a great man versus wolves battle raging in a suburban home while a casually-dressed man walks unhindered along the perimeter of the combatants, pausing the action mid-fight as he wanders from room to room to get a drink, accept a pizza delivery,  and generally get more comfortable.

The episode, “Frozen in Time,” follows a fur-clad torch-brandishing arctic explorer as he fights off a ferocious pack of wolves in the midst of a raging blizzard.  The wolves are magnificent in live action, seamlessly integrated with a CG man…

…and I’m gonna keep watching until the wolves nail that sucker good!

Mentos UP2U Gum Commercial Tiger

November 2, 2011

 – – Since childhood, you’ve probably heard the rhyme, “eenie meenie minie moe, /catch a tiger by the toe,/ if he hollers, let him go,/ etc.- -Well, in this commercial we see that rhyme visualized when a mild-mannered office worker is using the eenie meenie method to determine which of the Mentos gum flavors to pick. 

 

Suddenly, a tiger pops up on cue with his toe caught in a trap!  The realistic tiger growls menacingly at the office nerd before asking engagingly, “Do I really need to holler?”  Both calm yet afraid, the guy shakes his head no, and likewise verbalizes in the negative…and what else could he say?!  In the background, another worker may be seen getting the h*** out.–Well done, Mentos!- –Don’t play “Hold That Tiger!”

Farmers Insurance “Critters” Commercial…

October 10, 2011

– – Farmers Insurance as part of its “University of Farmers” advertising campaign reveals their finest agents receiving road-kill expertise training under the watchful eye of Professor Nathaniel Burke (actor J.K. Simmons) at a university setting in which a real deer, caribou, turtle, porcupine, and other creatures appear in the classroom setting alongside the agents-in-training.  For the filming, living animals rather than CGI or animatronic creations were actually in the room together with the cast at the same time.

The commercial playfully highlights the in-depth training that its agents receive at the actual University of Farmers in Agoura Hills, California which enables them to dispense expert advice...

Geico’s Rowing Guinea Pigs…

September 29, 2011

 – – Kia’s hamsters rock, and Geico’s guinea pigs row…at least they do in the newest Geico commercial!  Faced with skyrocketing electric bills (…yes, I  feel your pain!), we are introduced to one ingenious gentleman who has created a hydroelectric generation facility where a trio of hamsters row a tiny boat in an aquarium, producing enough juice for him to surf the net all day!  Not that it was any easy task, mind you…it took six months to train two hamsters to row, and fully eight months to get the “little chubby one” to yell “row!” 

I don’t know yet if PETA will consider this cruelty or exploitation of animals…probably not, since the guinea pigs are all computer-generated.  You can even download a free iPhone app called “Guinea Pig Getaway” in which the three intrepid guinea pigs escape their owner, and are looking for a better way of life.- -But in any case, we may be living in the golden age of rodent advertising mascots, and maybe guinea pigs will someday power your Prius!  Then there may be a rodent uprising, a great and terrible day of reckoning…(I shudder to think about it!)

Old Spice “Swagger” Sea Captain and Squid…

September 16, 2011

 – – He’s self-described as not being a “well decorated sea captain who battles monsters on a large nautical vessel,”  but thanks to Old Spice’s Swagger, he smells like one!  The character we see depicted kind of plays out like Jules Verne’s Captain Nemo as seen on a bad acid trip…he walks into a room with a patently fake killer squid attached to his left shoulder at which the captain throws half-hearted punches throughout the commercial while endless gold treasure pours from his pants, quickly filling the room!

Apparently, Old Spice is trying a variety of spokesman, and this bizarre sea captain is part of a new ad campaign to “smell better than yourself.”  Smelling better than yourself may be fairly easy if you routinely smell like squid, and the squid in this one is wonderful, looking like a low budget creature feature creation from 1950’s or 60’s Chiller Theater type offerings.  I like the little guy, who features moving eyes, teeth, and flailing tentacles…the punches thrown at him don’t seem to faze the persistent squid much, and I keep waiting and hoping for him to remove a chunk from the captain.  Failing in this, perhaps we could arrange a steel cage death match for him with SpongeBob…

Kia Hamsters “Party Rock!”

September 7, 2011

 – – You think that you’re watching a commercial for a Halo-esque video game that you wanna play, and it’s got everything — the robotic warriors are engaged in a ferocious battle in a post-apocalyptic world complete with death lasers and Terminator-type hunter-killer aircraft when up pulls a green Kia Soul out of which emerge three human-size hamsters who compose themselves and then dazzle the combatants with their moves to Electro Hop group LMFAO’s hit Party Rock Anthem.  It’s utterly irresistible, and soon there’s a cease fire in favor of some world-class shufflin’!  We’re even shown a sparking robotic lower body that still has some killer moves in it!

Once again, furries have restored peace and harmony, and a dance fight triumphs over a firefight!  It’s all good, but I missed seeing the golden robot that graces LMFAO’s performances…he is awesome, and likely to be a fave this Halloween!