Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category

Nissan Pathfinder Commercial, “The Ark”

July 25, 2014

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A countryside drive in the rain becomes an animal rescue mission of sorts for a father and daughter in a recent Nissan commercial for their Pathfinder model. In this relatively simple but cute entry, it’s not a fit day for man nor beast out…and the animals, both domestic and wild, appear forlornly along the roadside, apparently in need of rescue, or at least a place out of the rain. Fortunately, the Pathfinder has lots of room, and the father obligingly pulls up to allow his daughter to collect the sodden animals, appearing in biblical groups of two.

They certainly are a diverse lot, with even kangaroos and penguins among their number! I’m happy to report that a fox may be seen in the back seat as well. At the end of the ad, the storm is over, the skies are clearing, and the animals are departing the Nissan; the world is made anew! Now if only Russell Crowe had been hired to drive the Pathfinder, clad in his Noah costume…but the producers probably didn’t have that kind of budget.

Snickers “Godzilla” Commercial…

July 16, 2014

 

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Godzilla, as we learn in a Snickers commercial, is an alright dude!  We are shown footage of the big guy in just slightly larger than human form, hanging at the beach, riding four wheelers, playing ping-pong, and making the scene at a party.- – What a party animal!

Godzilla’s actually pretty cool!,” comments one male party-goer to his friend.  “Except when he’s hungry,” corrects the buddy.  Then the footage cuts to Godzilla in full rampage, hundreds of feet tall and blasting cars airborne with his breath.  Fortunately, someone in the crowd knows the remedy for this situation, and lobs Godzilla a Snickers bar. – – He eats the morsel, gets a blissful expression on his massive face, and then suddenly…Party Godzilla is back, water skiing and blending happily into human society again!  

You’re not yourself when you’re hungry, we are told. Studies have shown that hunger and anger can be linked. Maybe then the answer to unrest in the Middle East and elsewhere is simply to bombard the combatants with Snickers bars…heck, diplomacy doesn’t seem to be doing much, so make chocolate, not war!

Dish Kangaroo Hopper “Mommy Mind” Commercial

July 10, 2014

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Other than the occasional “Aussie” hair products commercial, you don’t see a lot of kangaroos in advertising, and it’s hard not to like this little guy, who appreciates a good nap yet is there when you need him. The ‘roo is of the size and general appearance of a stuffed animal, and is sensibly belted into his seat. Riding shotgun in the family car with Momma at the wheel and two boys beginning to fuss in the back seat, the Dish kangaroo awakens from a sound sleep, proclaiming that naps are awesome!  He quickly takes the measure of the feuding kids in the back seat, telling the driving Mom, “Chill out, Momma Bear…I got this!” as he hands the warring brats a tablet with their favorite shows on it. – – Why, it’s a miracle! The brats shut up, and blessed silence again reigns, their little minds engaged by the shows that have been downloaded to the tablet by the Dish Hopper feature. It’s so much better than throwing the kids from the moving vehicle, and with far less legal complications!

“How did you do that?,” asks the grateful and incredulous Mom. The kangaroo then explains how with the Hopper he put all of the kids’ fave recorded shows on the tablet, “So you wouldn’t lose your Mommy mind in the car.”

“Mommy likes Dish!,” responds the long-suffering Mother, who has been driven half out of her nut by her kids.  I’m sure that lots of parents can identify with that on a car trip of any duration.

“OK!,” responds the kangaroo, with a tone and expression indicating that he is slightly weirded out by Mommy’s reaction…and wouldn’t “The Kangaroo in the Car” or “Road ‘Roo” be a great title for a kid’s book?!

The Gecko Meets Rocky and Bullwinkle…

June 16, 2014


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Rocky and Bullwinkle have had a cult following since the 1960’s, falling into lean times until a big-screen movie treatment brought a modest revival of sorts.  Geico has occasionally honored classic ‘toon heroes in their commercials, including the great Wile E. Coyote.  While neither Rocky nor Bullwinkle can aspire to the lofty title of genius rightfully bestowed on the Coyote, it’s still good to see them occasionally getting out and about in public. This was the case in a recent Geico commercial where we first see the omnipresent Gecko in the Rocky Mountains, reflecting on the enduring qualities of both the Rockies and his insurance company employer.

Enter the irrepressible Bullwinkle Moose, long a fountain of misinformation.  Now the Moose and Squirrel have been the embodiment of randomness long before it became mainstream, and when the Gecko speculates about whom the Rockies were named after, Bullwinkle J. Moose appears out of nowhere, and unasked ventures that they were named after his friend and constant companion, Rocky the Flying Squirrel. Rocky himself then flies in, balancing endearingly on the Moose’s palm.  Rocky tries to correct Bullwinkle, who then shifts to an explanation that the Rockies were named after “First President George Rockington.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” correctly observes the Gecko at this point, referring to Bullwinkle as, “Mr. Winkle.”  Apparently recognizing that logic is wasted on Bullwinkle, Rocky executes multiple dramatic flying loops around his friend, and flies off.  The whole commercial doesn’t make a lot of sense, but such was the general nature of the sixties show about the best-known residents of Frostbite Falls

Godzilla Fiat Commercial…

June 3, 2014

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“He’s back…and it looks like he’s craving Italian!” – –  Well, who could blame him, right?!

Movie tie-in commercials are usually terrible, but for this one, we’ll make an exception!  A city street is shown devastated, as if a war is going on…well, one is, but with the King of Monsters!  Godzilla, whose fortunes are on the rise with the new re-boot of his franchise, is clearly in control, buildings crumbling around him and hardly bothering with the pesky small-arms fire being directed against him ( foolish humans, when will they ever learn?).  Attacking a city does make a guy hungry, however, and the big guy is tossing small cars down his gullet.  Along then comes a bright yellow Fiat packed with people, and it too is thrown down Godzilla’s gargantuan hatch like a Cheeto…

…but wait!  Is it too much to swallow?!  The big guy vomits the Fiat back up, completely undamaged, and it hits the ground running flawlessly, spinning away. – –  Is it because Fiats taste terrible? – – No, it’s just because they’re surprisingly big, you see!  I guess that size does matter, after all…and next time, Godzilla, chew each bite before swallowing!

CarFax “Mole” Commercial…

May 6, 2014

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Foxes are stealthy, and in our secret underground lairs, we track...many things.  What we track is on a “need to know” basis, but we will share that one of the things we track are accidents.  So when a balding middle-aged man makes a request in a new commercial released in April to see the CarFax, the floor beneath him opens up, and he is spirited via a tunnel to arrive in the presence of that great and secret control center, still seated in his easy chair.  The Car Fox himself appears before him, but we see that he has a number of able assistants, all vulpine, seated at a number of computer terminals that monitor and regulate operations.  The underground operations center is truly impressive, looking efficiently high tech, just like one of those command centers operated by Blofeld or one of the Bond villains.  They were, of course, mere amateurs by comparison…

The casually-attired Car Fox answers the human’s questions, only because it amuses him to do so.  We are made privy to the information that the foxes employ moles to dig up facts, and we are shown one of these moles gathering information with binoculars.  The moles are simply operatives, of course…foxes are the real brains of the operation.  In a different commercial, opossums are shown to gather service information on a vehicle.  One can never have too much information…empires are won and lost over such matters.

The Car Fox has evolved greatly since his humble beginnings as a simple puppet on the hand of an unscrupulous salesman.  But you can rest assured that your fox overlords only have your best interests at heart.  After all, we live to serve…(wink, wink!)

The Elephant Auto Insurance Commercial…

April 16, 2014

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I feel mildly uncomfortable with the Elephant Auto Insurance pachyderm, simply because he seems so…Republican!   Clad in a conservative dark suit with a blue tie, I almost expect him to bring Mitt Romney out of a back room, or begin advocating trickle-down economics and tax cuts for the wealthy.  Fortunately the elephant doesn’t do any of that although he does own a business, announcing himself as the founder of the company bearing his name.  

Although the elephant is another CGI marvel, there’s nothing overly clever or memorable about the scripting, dialogue, or action in this commercial, other than a reference to the proverbial elephant memory.  While there’s room for more than one animal spokesperson in the commercial business, the venerable Geico gecko, Maxwell the pig, or the hump-day camel don’t presently need to worry about this guy upstaging them…

Maxwell at the DMV!

April 4, 2014

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Geico’s Maxwell the Pig has appeared in a variety of settings, and walking among us it’s perhaps part of his lot to appear at the Department of Motor Vehicles, where most of us of driving age must suffer now and then.  Asked for proof of insurance, Maxwell produces his Geico digital insurance card, which the worker in attendance readily accepts.  

The indignity of being photographed then follows for Maxwell, and as for most of us his photo likeness is less than complimentary; you know how it is, with being rushed through a soulless institution and asked to hold your head at an unnatural angle.  Well, the little porker barely reaches the top of the desk, and when the picture is taken, Maxwell’s eyes are closed.  Maxwell points this out to the DMV clerk, and guess what…she doesn’t care, calling out “next” while Maxwell is left as just another victim of bureaucracy…we’ve all been there, right?

The Geico Snail…

March 30, 2014

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Many of us have had bosses who aren’t too swift, but this guy is an extreme case, mainly because he’s a snail.  Winding ever so slowly through a cubicled workplace, he wears a tie and tiny spectacles, and even leaves a slime trail behind him…how appropriate for a boss! Well, the snail-boss named Mr. Tompkins is greeted by an employee named Todd, and then informs the hapless man that he is fired before crawling slowly away, whistling as he goes!  None of us would have blamed Todd had he then introduced Mr. Tompkins to the sole of his shoe, but justice is rare in the work world.  

The commercial spot begins with two women having coffee, one of which points out that fifteen minutes with Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance.  “Everyone knows that,” replies the other woman.  Seeking to one up her companion, the first woman then questions whether her associate knows that bad news doesn’t always travel fast, and the snail-boss is offered as an example of the same. One might also learn that slimy invertebrates make poor bosses, something that I can affirm from personal experience…

Acura’s “Let the Race Begin” Horses…

March 19, 2014

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– – These are horses as one imagines they would be designed by Skynet in the dystopian world of the Terminator movies.  The spot begins with a crowd gathering for a horse race around a futuristic, surreal track. What’s really cool is that the four breathtaking horses competing are robotic, and as they enter the race they vie fiercely for position, complete with metallic sounds as they bang heads with one another in an almost gladiatorial event.  

From behind, however, enters a flesh-and-bone equine who assumes the leadership position, and then the horses morph into vehicles.  Acura, you see, is casting itself as the “dark horse” in the luxury-performance car market, a field in which it hopes to assume leadership.

I sadly know that I will never own a luxury-performance vehicle as my budget barely allows fox kibble.  I do know that I haven’t seen robotic animals this good since the group Swedish House Mafiia did their Greyhound video, and I hope that advertising delivers up more of these fantastic creatures…