Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category
September 27, 2015
In rural parts of Pennsylvania, hitting a deer on the road is a very real possibility at this time of year. They’re in rut, you see, and the herds are stirred up as the big guys try to get lucky. Poor Charlie and his wife have just had such an encounter, and they need to find a good body shop fast! We are shown their car ramped up on the rear of the deer-driven vehicle, an antlered buck behind the wheel.
“”You just came out of nowhere!,” contests the woman driving to the buck. The deer makes agitated noises and flails around. “Calm down!,” urges the woman. “No one shot your mother,” she presents in a Bambi reference. The deer vocalizes and thrashes around some more, apparently saying something uncomplimentary about the human driver and raising the ire of her husband, who is ready to take on the buck and is becoming verbally abusive himself.
Fortunately, a Yelp representative is there to recommend a five star body shop, and it’s suggested that the deer and humans all go in there together. They are then shown standing in front of said establishment, although the buck remains mouthy and the human male combative. – – Why can’t we all just get along?!
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: deer car accidents, driving deer, Yelp "Deer in Headlights"
Comments: 4 Comments
September 20, 2015
It’s so hard to find a tasty and healthy snack on the African savanna! Two lionesses in a Fiber One commercial would kill for something sweet, and are considering the available offerings. – – Flamingos? – – Nah, they’d have to eat about thirty of them. One offers to split a hippopotamus with the other; too fat, also unacceptable. The hippo appears to harrumph in surprise or indignation.
Fortunately, we humans don’t have to face such quandaries, with Fiber One providing sweet and healthy snacks at only 90 calories. You don’t have to hunt and kill ’em, either…
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Fiber One, illnesses
Comments: 1 Comment
September 15, 2015
Poor Elliot! Although he’s in harness at work, it’s his co-worker Ned who gets noticed by their female boss, and called “a real workhorse.” When Elliot spins around, neighs, and shakes his magnificent mane, his unappreciative boss only orders him back to work. Typical office favoritism and partiality; sounds like this boss is a real nag!
It looks like Starbucks in this commercial is telling us that even an actual workhorse is no match for someone with a double shot coffee or such down the hatch. Living on excessively high doses of caffeine, however, is no horse laugh, even if they do work you like one…been there, done that!
Categories: animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Starbucks workhorse, workhorse
Comments: 3 Comments
September 7, 2015
They bay at the moon, and attack your campsite in a pack, like wolves…the creepy, four-limbed, human sized hot dogs in a recent Tums commercial, that is! Brandishing a burning stick in one hand and his Tums package like a cross before a vampire, our intrepid camper is able to drive the marauding processed meats off. Such is life in the Twilight Zone of the food chain…(shudders)
Be afraid, be very afraid…Tums has lately alarmed us with tales of assaultive meat foods that have included chicken wings, a nightmarish headless barbecued chicken, sky-diving meatballs, and what appeared to be a very angry corned beef sandwich. It’s enough to make me want to add additional countermeasures to my existing zombie defense network…
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, strange, television
Tags: animated foods, commercials
Comments: 2 Comments
August 24, 2015
“Aww, doesn’t the baby look sweet…and tender?”
So you might think that the wolf was thinking in an edgy current public service health commercial about the dangers of whooping cough exposure for infants. In the Big Bad Cough spot, a couple is taking their infant child to visit a grandmother, who transforms from human to lupine right before our eyes! This is supposed to represent the hidden danger posed by whooping cough, carried by the unwary grandmother. Pertussis is a spreadable disease especially dangerous to young children, and the commercial draws upon the classic Red Riding Hood tale.
Now wolves tend to generally get a bad press, representing nothing positive. The Red Riding Hood story has been reworked and re-told a variety of ways, but I’ve always felt somewhat sympathetic towards wolves, and the notion of a wolf in bed wearing a grandmother’s clothing is not without its comic elements, at least in my twisted mind. Perhaps the wolf rather enjoyed the cross-dressing…at any rate, he deserved better than being axed to death by a woodman! In one revisionist kiddie literature version, the story is re-told from the wolf’s perspective…now that’s entertainment!
Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Big Bad Cough, whooping cough wolf, wolves
Comments: 3 Comments
June 5, 2015
In a recent Dairy Pure milk commercial, an enthusiastic teacher is drilling her bovine charges on the “Five Point Promise” of the product. Each “student” is dressed distinctly, with such accessories as eyeglasses and hair.
Apparently, chewing one’s cud is allowed in class…they’re cows, for crying out loud, what else could they do?!
When the teacher asks her students to enumerate what they know about the milk, one blond-haired cow responds, “It comes from udders,” and the rest of the cow-kids titter in repressed laughter. Kids are the same everywhere…udders, heh, she said udders!
What I want to know is, how did this lucky teacher come to have only four students in class? You can bet that they’re motivated, too…after all, what self-respecting young cow would want to be a milk dud, or an udder failure? (Yes, we have no shame here…)
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 4 Comments
April 22, 2015
I love to see classic fables revisited, and Mercedes-Benz has a winner in this one! You know the story; the overly-confident hare challenges the stalwart tortoise to a race, in this version calling him a “turtle” and taunting that he better have a jet pack under his shell!
This bunny-boy is an arrogant jock of a type I’m well familiar with from high school; “Bask in my glory!,” the hare tells an adoring crowd. Then the race begins (with a fox referee, please note), and the hare is off in a cloud of dust while the tortoise plods on, even being passed by a snail! So great is his lead that the hare feels he has time for a few hands of cards with other woodland animals over a tree stump. Meanwhile, the tortoise uses that time to turn into a Mercedes-Benz factory. “Plot twist!,” he announces. A magnificent Mercedes is shown; “Slow and steady, my a**,” comments the tortoise, his last word drowned out by a throaty engine growl. The headlights of the Mercedes flare on like an angry beast…
All too late does the hare see the tortoise coming, the vehicle vaulting over him as he frantically tries to pull away from its approach. “Who’s your turtle?!,” he exults. The victory of the tortoise is glorious! Such is the power, you see, of German engineering…
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 3 Comments
April 19, 2015
As a diehard Mr. Ed fan, I’m glad to see talking horses on the small screen again! Fashion model Hannah Davis is shown on a pristine beach, together with a magnificent white horse. Making her pitch for DirecTV services, the horse soon chimes in with his agreement, revealing that he not only talks, but sings a bit as well. Hannah and her Horse replaces the Rob Lowe spokesman after compaints were made that his spots were misleading.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course…but it’s hard to beat anthropomorphic talking ones who can also improvise a tune!
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Hannah Riding Her Horse
Comments: 5 Comments
April 15, 2015
Dang, this chicken leads a more adventurous life than I do! A free-range chicken is shown riding the rails, traveling shotgun with a trucker, enjoying a campfire gathering, and sitting at a diner counter while observing egg platters being served…that’s gotta be awkward! – – Ahh, the lure of the open road, to be footloose and fancy free! All the while, said chicken manages to send pictures of her exploits to a worn-looking farm couple, her former owners…
…it’s what she does…after all, she’s a free-range chicken, doing what she’s called to do! The sweeping melody of “Ride Away” by Roy Orbison accompanies the Geico commercial, and I’d love to log a few miles with this bird!
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Geico chicken
Comments: 2 Comments
December 31, 2014
The original Geico commercial with Caleb the Camel at the office is now kind of a classic. Success, unfortunately, tends to breed imitation, and so it comes as no surprise in this new commercial to see humans at the zoo tormenting camels on display with “Guess what day it is” banter. As anyone who has heard the many imitators can vouch, it gets old pretty quickly…
We are then privy to a conversation held between two camels at the zoo who are being badgered by camel wanna-bees, complete with dialogue from the original commercial. Understandably, they are weary of it. “It’s not even Wednesday!,” complains one camel to his companion. “Let it go, Phil,” advises the other. The voice of the announcer then cuts in; “When you’re a camel, this is what you put up with all the time…it’s what you do…”
Camels…more sinned against than sinning. Joe Camel, purveyor of tobacco products in an earlier time, never knew these burdens…and a happy and prosperous New Year to all of our readers!
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 3 Comments
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