– –When the Revolution Comes,
I’ll go on a different kind of fox hunt,
And roam through the woods with automatic weapons,
Their chatter echoing in the still morning air.
I’ll track down a human hunter,
And tell him I need his skin for my jacket.
I’ll drag him along the forest bed, terrified.
And when he thinks that his doom is certain,
I’ll let him go…
Because I only want to make a point,
And turnabout is fair play… 😉
– – An image macro and one of a number of Advice Dog variations, Philosoraptor originated on 4chan with the image starting out as a T-shirt design on Lonelydinosaur.com. Philosoraptor challenges the reader with his deep, existential, and Paleolithic questions…in my book, he’s far cooler than Advice Dog!
The Urban Dictionary defines Philosoraptor as one who engages in aggressive moral or ethical debate tactics…you are alive (for the moment) when the Philosoraptor engages you in Socratic dialogue, so try to show a little respect or he will open your mind using eighty razor sharp teeth and two 4-inch sickle claws…
– – It’s still hard for me to believe that John Candy is dead, taken way too young of a heart attack in 1994 at only 43 years of age. John created many memorable characters, but as a furry I love him most for his creation of the half-man, half-dog (or Mawg, also seen as Mog) Barfolomew in the 1987 Mel Brooks movie Spaceballs, an obvious parody of Star Wars and Barf a cheaper version of Chewbacca. The film did modestly at the box office, being issued as it was ten years after the movie it parodied. Brooks’ blend of slapstick and genre parody was getting old even in 1987, but the film remains funny and a cult classic.
Memorable quote: “It’s not that we’re afraid, far from it, it’s just that we’ve got this thing about death…It’s not us!” Who better to be his own best friend than this marvelous John Candy creation?– –RIP, John, and thank you…
– – We’ve done it…100,000 hits! Just a note of thanks assisted by the Courage Wolf to mark the occasion here on humble little Foxsylvania!
Thanks so much for reading this wonderful nonsense, and for making this place one of the stopping points in your on-line travels!- –Two paws up!
– – Now this is disturbing, not that the Burger King isn’t; food which fights back as people attempt to eat it! The new Grey’s campaign for Tums features furious and funny food fights (– -Holy alliteration, Batman!) that are tamed only by the fast-acting antacid! Talk about food coming back on you…
There are three spots, in one of which a spicy chicken wing whacks its would-be consumer repeatedly across the face, complete with kung fu movie sound effects! The guy winds up with his face liberally decorated with barbecue sauce…PETA would love this! Another spot features tacos of terror…(of course, tacos and other foods have been known to come back for another round the next day!)
Tums, not surprisingly, takes the fight out of the pugilistic entrees. (–Imagine a classic martial arts film on G4 or the like in which Bruce Lee enters a Kentucky Fried Chicken and challenges to take on any poultry wing in the place!- -Or perhaps, Night of the Living Dead Shrimp!) This does, however, add new meaning to the warning to watch what you eat…be afraid, be very afraid! 😉
– – Sock monkeys seem to be going through a renaissance lately. I’ve always found sock monkeys vaguely unnerving, and I’m not sure that I entirely trust them, feeling that there’s more to them than meets the eye. This impression has been heightened for me by the Kia Sorento “Joyride” commercial featuring a life-sized sock monkey together with his equally-unlikely companions that include a robot, a teddy bear, a knobby orange thing called “Muno,” and “Mr. X.”
Well, no good can come from this unholy alliance, and the strange crew goes on a road trip that includes stops at a bowling alley, a mountainside hot tub, a tattoo parlor, and even Las Vegas where they gamble and show off a few dance moves; what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas, often for good reason.
But suddenly, we flash back to reality, where the characters in this surreal little drama turn out to be toys in the back seat of a Sorento! It’s kinda like A Toy Story on acid, or maybe a rejected Twilight Zone episode…
…and I’m still uneasy about sock monkeys! Perhaps it’s because he’s shown driving the car, although from what I’ve seen some cars might be better driven by a sock monkey…at least he’s not texting! 😉
– – You may not want to watch this show while eating, especially when he’s grappling with cockroaches, but otherwise Billy the Exterminator on the A & E network is a hoot!
Now Louisiana has lots of critters needing removal, and Billy together with his brother, Ricky, and other members of his family run a small but effective operation that’s shared with you. Billy himself looks like an over-aged punk rocker or goth, complete with spiked hair, black clothes, spiked armband, and an aura of cheerful insanity; such apparently helps in that business. He seems like a really nice guy and knows his stuff, even if you wouldn’t want him to marry your sister…anyhow, ladies, he’s taken! As far as exterminators go, Billy’s also refreshingly humane, and tends to be into relocation of most of the life forms he removes, except for the insects.- –Catch and Release, three words to live by!
Watch a few episodes, and you’ll see Billy remove poisonous snakes, raccoons, bats, beavers, and a variety of other mammals and invertebrates from sites where they’re not wanted. In a recent surreal episode, the intrepid exterminator was called upon to remove a nasty, p.o.’d rattlesnake from the cremation area of a funeral parlor. It’s not all the glory stuff, however…in an another episode, you crawl along with Billy as he goes underneath a building to remove the festering and rancid corpse of a bloated, decomposing cat that’s stinking to high heaven.–“Fluffy’s not so fluffy anymore,” jokes Billy, noting that bugs are crawling in and out of the late cat’s head.- -Sure am glad that I wasn’t snacking during that one!
So give Billy the Exterminator a look…he’s got an interesting if offbeat life, and you might find a new role model!
– – Not to be confused with the Big Mouth Billy Bass fish, a horrendous novelty gift of almost ten years ago, Frankie the Fish is a similar but distinctive item who memorably hawks McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish sandwich.
“Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish/Gimme that fish,” sings Frankie in his own distinctive fashion in a commercial that tends to run through your head over and over again until you’re ready to filet yourself. Notable is the fact that the two human actors in the ad don’t talk at all, one shrugging off the singing fish on a plaque and the other displaying surprise. The sandwich is made from cod and pollock, and originally a taxidermist created a pollock fish with a remote control device to operate his head and tail. That creation was considered too scary, so the fish was made more toy-like to be less creepy.
McDonald’s sells about 300 million Filet-O-Fish sandwiches annually, 25% of them during the 40 days of Lent. Frankie himself is quite the spokesfish, with the ad viewed on You Tube more than a million times…
– – This Minute Maid commercial is priceless! “Mr. Hill, there’s something wrong with Scooter!,” cry elementary school students in alarm to their teacher. At first, he’s drowsy and really doesn’t care, only reassuring the kids that he’s kept the store receipt for the unresponsive rabbit.- –Somebody forgot to boost!
Then in an alternate scenario, the teach when alerted slams down some Minute Maid Enhanced Strawberry Kiwi juice, spies floating helium balloons tethered nearby, rubs the balloons on his hair, and then applies the balloons to the bunny in distress, the static electricity acting like a cardiac defibrillator! Scooter is saved, jolted back to life and awakening with his static-charged fur standing on end while the class cheers!
Now you see why science education must never be neglected, to say nothing of enhanced fruit juices…
– – The lady inviting the “Kitty” into her house to snuggle with her in bed needs her eyes checked badly, ’cause what she’s really inviting in is a rather large raccoon, who roams right in, and makes himself at home! The commercial ends with the raccoon blissfully reclining on the woman’s bed.
The woman in this hilarious and brilliant Sears Optical commercial needs to be more careful, ’cause raccoons don’t have the best of reputations… 😉
FOXSYLVANIA 
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