Archive for the ‘Brilliant but twisted’ category
May 29, 2019
I, for one, have received entirely too much information about the condition of the youngest Charmin bear’s “heinie.” The bespectacled youngest brother bear whose name is Dylan, gleefully picks up his underwear from the floor in a commercial, dancing around with it unafraid because “(his) heinie’s clean.” While I’m sure we can all sleep better with this knowledge, it bears remembering that none of the ursines visibly wear any underwear in their commercials, or for that matter, clothing of any kind whatsoever. Yes, they are bear naked! That which is not worn remains pristine regardless of defecation, so Dylan’s boast is pointless…
So there, bear, with your underwear! Keep it there, and get out of my hair!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Charmin bears, clean bear heinies
Comments: 3 Comments
May 14, 2019
Things get stranger and stranger in the world of advertising, where weird means memorable which can equate to name recognition and subsequently business. Duncan the walrus is an unlikely representative of Geico insurance, but he certainly gets the job done, just as he completely fills the hockey goal, making it impossible for the opposing team to score in a recent Geico ad. Geico makes it easy to get help when you need it, you see, by having licensed agents available 24/7, and it’s not just Geico easy, it’s “having a walrus in the goal easy…”
Duncan is decked out in protective hockey gear, even though it’s ludicrously too small for him. We see in the commercial spot a hockey puck bounce off his shin guard, while a frustrated opposing team skater grouses that the walrus is “ridiculous.” The team coach off on the sidelines doesn’t think so, shouting “Way to go, Duncan!” as he throws the walrus a fish from a bucket that Duncan catches on the fly. The sidelined coach and team members then further show their appreciation of the goalie by making walrus sounds. Having had his fish and excitement, the walrus must then be admonished not to fall asleep on the ice. “Duncan, stay up! No sleepies!,” cries the coach in the closing.
One wonders if Duncan in his off hours doesn’t reflect upon the lyrics from the 1967 Beatles Magical Mystery Tour album, for he is the walrus…“goo goo j’goob.”
Categories: absurdities, advertising, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Duncan the walrus, Geico walrus goalie
Comments: 4 Comments
May 3, 2019
In this short advert, the Sierra Trading Post squirrel couple are up in a forest tree, mocking the “silly humans” camping below with their Sierra cooler. The male exuberantly brags that he buries his food “all over the place” for the excitement of never knowing whether he’s going to find it again, or starve to death. There’s something to be said, I suppose, for living life on the edge…
These squirrels exist somewhere in the nexus of where funny meets cool meets creepy. There’s something about their paws that I find disquieting, although the squirrels seem to be living life with gusto, whether it’s discussing being run over or starvation. There’s probably a lesson in here for us…
(…tip o’the pen to CaryComic!)
Categories: advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Sierra Squirrels "Exciting Life"
Comments: 3 Comments
April 22, 2019
Watching a commercial of the Chantix turkey camping, I wonder if the vest that he’s wearing is goose down filled, and if so whether the wearing of it isn’t some kind of crime against birds in general. Don’t get me wrong, he does look good in it, kind of like an avian Eddie Bauer. One almost expects to see Elmer Fudd emerge from those woods in the background in his ludicrous hunting outfit, toting a long gun and announcing, “I’m hunting wabbit…but you’ll do!” Then in my crossover fantasy, previous Chantix spokesman Ray Liotta emerges from those same woods, engaging Elmer in a firefight since one corporate spokesman might reasonably be expected to defend another. Ray would easily win the fight, having played tough guys in Mafia-inspired films. Elmer is hardly known as being a marksman…
Other questions lurk, too…since the Chantix turkey represents the slow turkey approach to smoking cessation, might we someday expect to see his cousin, cold turkey? That bird might be imagined as being cold to the point of chattering, and to have really jittery nerves. As we view the Chantix turkey hiking in the woods, we’re sorry that he’s mute. Perhaps in the future he could be given a voice, even singing the Happy Wanderer song as he hikes. With just a little refinement, this turkey could really take off. He even cooks over a campfire, and I’d toast marshmallows with him..we’re all forest friends here!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials
Tags: Chantix turkey camping
Comments: 9 Comments
April 12, 2019
Human-sized anthropomorphic cats can be a wonderful fantasy or a chilling nightmare, depending on the individual’s perspective. Arm and Hammer Cloud Control cat litter brings us one such feline family in a brief recent commercial, with Mama cat relating how in her house things would get out of control fast, especially in the litter room. So she uses Arm and Hammer Cloud Control litter to be in control of the “cloud of nasties” that otherwise might be a problem around a cat litter box. No one wants their bathroom to stink, after all…
The dressed, human-sized cats are both whimsical and surreal, and would probably be an improvement over some neighbors that I’ve had…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Arm and Hammer Cloud Control cats
Comments: 3 Comments
April 8, 2019
Back in the 1960’s, sitcoms ruled television, and many of them were poorly connected with actual life…heck, we even watched Gilligan’s Island! A show called Hazel which ran from the early to mid-60’s even featured a household maid as the title character. Drawing upon this television tradition, a recent Progressive commercial features their iconic spokesperson Flo unwillingly cast into the role of new maid by the generic middle class family moving into a house that Flo is merely trying to inspect, but at each turn she’s perceived as being “the wacky new maid” who just pops up unexpectedly everywhere while they are performing such activities as carrying a large decorative fish into the bathroom.
The Progressive commercial even includes a theme soundtrack written just for the ad that has a 60’s sound and sitcom feel, and includes the lyrics, “she’s not the maid we wanted, but she’s the maid we’ve got.” Actress/comedian Stephanie Courtney as Flo shouting her disclaimer at the family in their front yard seems to do little to sway the neighborhood impression of her, however, in this retro sitcom parody…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal abuse, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: Progressive's Flo as maid
Comments: 10 Comments
March 29, 2019
I had thought that last November’s KFC commercial featuring a Colonel Sanders impersonator dancing with a human-sized bottle of Mrs. Butterworth syrup was a once-and-done thing, but in a companion piece commercial airing currently, the Colonel is back, complete with a misty, bedroom-eyes type expression as he meets Mrs. Butterworth in a marble hallway while a Celine Dion ballad plays. I know that they say “the South shall rise again,” but this is ridiculous!
Mrs. Butterworth appears to make the first move as the impossible couple stare into each other’s faces and the Colonel caresses her molded plastic cheek, probably thinking of all the syrupy goodness contained within…then the couple lean towards one another as a preliminary to a kiss which thankfully, we don’t get to see!
I don’t know what will happen next, and frankly prefer not to go there. Some things are best left to the imagination, and I cringe to think of a Sanders/Butterworth union. Perhaps in the aftermath, however, a horror writer could pen an installment called Children of the Syrup. It would not be suitable for children or sensitive individuals, and viewer discretion is advised…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, humor, television, twisted reality
Tags: Colonel Sanders and Mrs.Butterworth, The Most Delicious Union
Comments: 8 Comments
March 26, 2019
In a hokey but charmingly surreal commercial, Johnsonville Jeff is eating his breakfast sausage out in the deep woods when he is approached by a talking raccoon asking about his meal. In the shorter version of the ad, Jeff also interacts with a wolf and a turkey, whereas the longer version additionally adds a squirrel and a porcupine. Most notably the wolf asks the man in the longer version where he learned how to talk to animals. “Books,” replies Jeff in a deadpan fashion, as if there was really nothing remarkable about the encounter; he’s kind of like Dr. Doolittle in hunting garb. They all have a good laugh together at the end, with the wild turkey practically loosing control of himself…
Johnsonville Sausage incorporates employee input in all phases of their operation, including this commercial which was conceived and is starred in by an actual long-term company employee. Since without the animal presence this commercial would consist of ho-hum talk about sausage, we’ll listen to anything if an animal presents it!
Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Johnsonville forest animals, Johnsonville Jeff and Forest Friends
Comments: 1 Comment
March 18, 2019
For many years now, insurance companies like Geico and Progressive have been producing clever and memorable commercials to tout and lure us to their services. Arriving a bit late to the commercial fray, Liberty Mutual has now produced commercials that incorporate an animal representative in the rather unlikely character of an emu…
These ads invoke the “buddy cop” series of the 1970’s, exemplified by such shows as Starsky and Hutch; Robert Blake’s series Beretta even included a cockatoo as Beretta’s companion.
In the Liberty Mutual commercials, the bird becomes even more of an active partner, riding shotgun with his human partner Doug while wearing aviator sunglasses! Called the LiMu Emu, this bird rocks, although in the Reflections ad he does have a bit of a problem interacting with his own image in a window glass, showing those bobbing, weaving, and pecking behaviors that birds sometimes manifest when confronted with reflections that they consider to be another bird. Partner Doug explains that the LiMu Emu spends so much time time interacting with humans on insurance customization that he doesn’t know quite how to respond to another bird, but that he’ll “figure it out.”
Now I know how to distinguish my own reflection, but do confess to a weakness with distractions posed by shiny things. At any rate, we can rely on the new dynamic duo of the LiMu Emu and Doug, and as Beretta might have reminded us, “Keep your eye on the sparrow…”
Categories: advertising, animal elements, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Liberty Mutual emu, LiMu Emu
Comments: 5 Comments
March 15, 2019
Subtitle: “When meat eaters ruled the seas…”
(Scene: In a commercial we are shown a Viking longboat on a wine-dark sea, the sky likewise brooding and elemental. But what is this? Only one Viking warrior remains conscious trying dutifully to ply the oars, her crew mates passed out from fatigue or perhaps mead. She is weary, for the hour is late…but fortunately, the warrior has a powerful ally in Jack Links Beef Jerky! She bites off a healthy mouthful (not at all daintily), and is empowered! Bigfoot appears in the stern of the longboat, and begins to lay down a powerful and quickening beat on his massive drum to set the rhythm for the lone rower. She is empowered, and roars lustily, the very model of a Viking shield maiden! A raven perched on the railing joins in the cry, and the sleeping crew begins to show signs of life. — On to victory for Odin, mighty warriors!
We then flash to the office habitat of our modern female warrior, successfully fighting the battle of after-hours office fatigue with her Jack Links Jerky. Empowerment is delivered, and Bigfoot enters the office to break the wand of the custodian’s vacuum, because sometimes only destruction will express the mood!- – Rawrrr! – –Meat will apparently deliver this one through overtime just as it delivered the Vikings past treacherous seas. It is good to know that their unconquerable spirit lives on!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 2 Comments
FOXSYLVANIA 
You must be logged in to post a comment.