Archive for the ‘animals’ category

– -Nessie’s Kin?

September 15, 2010

– – In Lake Windermere,  England’s largest natural lake, may reside an unidentified creature estimated at 20 to 50 feet in length described as perhaps a “distant relative” to the legendary Loch Ness monster!

Called Bownessie because of the bow wave of about twenty feet in length that it produces, the creature has been described as a giant eel or sturgeon, although others claim that they have seen a creature with humps; the cryptid has also been called Windie after the lake.  The first publicly reported sighting of Bownessie occurred in Lake Windermere in 2006 and the number of people who claim to have seen something continues to grow.  The most recent sighting of the creature was in July of this year, when a local hotelier was hit by a three foot wave while swimming.  Another witness who claimed that the creature passed beneath him said that the movement in the water was so powerful that he though it was a submarine!  A total of seven sightings have been recorded in the past four years.

A recent video seems to support the existence of some kind of creature in the lake, with an unexplained bow wave of around 20 meters in length recorded.  A new investigation on the lake involving state of the art equipment and a specially chartered yacht has been launched.   A dark smudge reported to be a photograph of the creature follows for your perusal, with the photographer grabbing a pair of binoculars and describing the creature as having a head like a labrador dog only “…much, much bigger…”

Sufferin’ Shellfish!

September 6, 2010

– – I realize that it’s hard to form an emotional attachment with a crustacean.   I also know that Klingons eat some of their food raw and wiggling.  I am glad, however, that a restaurant in Sacramento, California will no longer serve a cruel dish that’s often called “dancing shrimp” or “dancing prawns.”  The dish’s name is a reference, you see, to the writhing that the animals engage in when their protective shells are ripped off and acidic lemon juice is squeezed onto their raw flesh before they are eaten alive...

Scientific research has demonstrated that prawns feel pain, just as other animals do.  A 2007 Queen’s University Belfast study found that when prawns have acid dabbed onto one of their antennae, they respond by grooming the affected area and rubbing it against the side of the tank, just as a dog might lick an injured paw.  When given painkillers, the prawns felt no need to groom or rub their acid-dabbed antennae.  The researchers concluded that these results are consistent with the idea that these crustaceans can experience pain.

When PETA presented their findings and numerous complaints about the practice of serving “dancing shrimp” as cruel, the restaurant agreed to stop serving live shrimp…

Katz the Cat!

September 3, 2010

— Cats kind of tolerate us because we are useful to them; one can see this orientation in Katz, villain of Courage the Cowardly Dog. Now Courage has faced many enemies, often anthropomorphic, including my personal fave The Cajun Fox, who treats even his rivals with friendliness and can drive a car and pilot a plane!

Not as relaxed and laid-back as the Cajun Fox, Katz is a red, lanky anthropomorphic cat with purplish stripes who specializes in scam businesses, such as a vacation resort and motel, always with the intent of killing the patrons when he has no further need of them.  Katz’s catchphrase is, “I wish you hadn’t done that,” usually uttered after he gets injured.  Katz enjoys a “little spot of sport” with Courage, as all of his battles with the dog are games, such as a staring contest.

Springboarding off our previous post featuring spiders, an episode called A Night At The Katz Motel was indebted to Hitchcock’s Psycho, and featured Katz trying to kill Courage’s masters by using giant, horrifying spiders to eat them.  Katz is a smooth and wonderfully sadistic feline who has a vaguely British accent and his own sinister background music, and lovingly maintains a spider collection.

As Katz did say,  “Yes, set a plan; cunning, elaborate, over the top!”- –This is a furry villain you’ve got to love! 


The Spider Dies Hard

September 2, 2010

– – Most spiders are beneficial creatures, but so many try to kill them, at times to their regret.  So was the case for one guy in Essex, England when summoned by his wife to deal with a spider she had seen scuttling behind their toilet bowl.- – Well, unable to reach the spider, the man attempted to spray it with an aerosol can, after which point he struck up his cigarette lighter to determine if he had been successful as the bathroom light had blown out.  You probably can see where this is going by now…

Yuppers, the lighter ignited the fumes and caused an explosion so strong that it lifted the man off his feet, threw him into his hallway, and lifted the loft door off of its hinges!  The man suffered flash burns to his head, legs, and torso and was rushed to the hospital.

The spider?–Well, there was no sign of it at the scene afterwards, so it may well have gotten away, probably with a great story to tell to its innumerable offspring…

Lizardman Waxed!

August 31, 2010

– – Lizardman, aka Erik Sprague, walks the walk of physical transformation into his species; he’s got implants in his head, a forked tongue and fangs, and has had his body inked about 70% green, representing about 700 hours of tattoo work!

Despite his startling appearance, Erik is intelligent and highly personable, and is soon to have a wax likeness of himself displayed at Orlando’s Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! museum.  More figures of Lizardman may be made for other Ripley’s museums in the future.

Erik has been transforming himself for ten years, and in addition to multiple appearances on television and sideshow performances, he does stand-up comedy and plays in a metal band called (–what else) Lizard Skynard.

He’s remarkable and one of the few so extensively transformed, but I think I’ll be sticking to a few  tattoos, thank you!

Fur-give?–Suffering Succotash!

August 26, 2010

– – A 45-year-old British woman recently became a hate figure after she was caught by a security camera putting a living cat into a trash bin and slamming the lid.  The cat, named Lola, was found distraught and hungry by her owners some 15 hours later by following her cries.

The woman, a bank worker, has apologized for the incident but just doesn’t seem to fully understand the outrage following her behavior.  She apparently trashed the poor cat on a lark, thinking that it would be “funny” to put the feline into the dumpster.  “OK, I shouldn’t have done it,” the woman is quoted as saying, “but it’s just a cat at the end of the day.”

–Just a cat?!- –Some of my best friends are cats, and perhaps we should participate in such merry sport by confining the woman responsible in a trash dumpster for 15 hours.   Police are guarding the house of the woman after a Facebook page urged that she be put to death…  😦

Gators in the City!

August 24, 2010

– – Summer in the city!–Back of my neck feelin’ dirty and gritty!–Be grateful that you don’t feel something else in the city, too…like alligators!

You’ve heard the popular urban myth that ‘gators have been known to make their way to city sewers, and take up housekeeping there?–Well, this myth may have some legs to it, as police in New York caught an 18-inch gator on Sunday after it reportedly crawled out of a storm drain in the Queens neighborhood of Astoria, then hid under a parked car, according to the New York Post. Police grabbed the gator, taped its mouth closed, and said they would send it to a reptile sanctuary or a wildlife rehabilitator.

Sightings of alligators far afield of their traditional domains are usually felt to be associated with careless pet owners who discard their pets when they outgrow their habitat.

Residents of Chicago have spotted  at least two different alligators on the Chicago River this summer…

James Bond, the Dog…

August 22, 2010

– – We’ve all suspected for some time that our animal companions lead secret lives, like Perry the Platypus.–Well, a beagle in Thunderbolt, Georgia has tapped into the social networking thing and has his own Twitter account, spending the day tweeting about his day with the aid of his human.  He has over 3,000 followers, a number which continues to grow daily.- -Catch this canine spy at JamesBondTheDog on Twitter…I just hope that he doesn’t run afoul of Blofeld or another of the Bond villains! 

Polar Bear Attack…

August 16, 2010

– – How, you may ask, do you thwart a polar bear attack?–After all, it is well-known that the readers of Foxsylvania want to be prepared for every possible contingency, including a zombie apocalypse.   It is best not to tase the polar bear, or to tempt him with a picnic basket…so what do you do when the bear is standing on your gun?!

When you absolutely, positively must do something and prefer not to become bear kibble, consider making a loud, threatening noise and punching the offending bear in the nose.  This tactic apparently worked rather well for a 67-year-old wilderness guide in the far Canadian north.  Polar bears, you see, have a very sensitive nose.  This was advice passed on to the wilderness guide by an Inuit elder, and it did work in this specific instance.

Failing in that, the wilderness guide might have had to resort to bad Terrance and Phillip impersonations, being that it was in Canada and all…

…And A Little Pig Shall Lead Them!

August 15, 2010

– – Yes, that’s right…another post on the same topic, something without precedent in the annals of Foxsylvania!   Some say that he’s cuter than the Geico gecko, but you can’t compare apples and oranges, and appearance is subjective, anyways!  At any rate, Maxwell the Pig has taken on a life of his own, and appears at home both everywhere and nowhere, a surreal porker for the 21st century.   Both lovable and annoying, he’s just being himself!  With a literary tradition going back to the 1728 nursery rhyme (“The Nurse’s Song”), this little piggy is as old as the 18th century but as fresh as tomorrow!

Maxwell knows that life is too important a matter to be taken seriously.  He has a childlike quality and exuberance that would brighten the psyches of the worst “namby pamby jackwagons.” The endless squealing is meaningless,  yet somehow manages to say it allthat embracing life with a pinwheel in each hand while leaning out of the window and shrieking with delight is perhaps the best of all ways to handle it!

The name “Maxwell” is of English/Scottish/Welsh origins, and means “major well.”  This well is one we all could benefit from drinking from…