Archive for the ‘alternative realities’ category

“65” the Movie, Works!

July 12, 2023

If you blended Star Trek, Alien, and Jurassic Park together, you’d probably get something like the movie 65, now available on Netflix. The title refers to 65 million years ago when that legendary asteroid impacted with Earth, affecting the planetary history forever….

Now if you were to take an ancient alien-type pilot who was transporting 35 passengers in hypersleep to an unspecified destination before an asteroid shower perforated his ship and forced it to crash land on the Earth of 65 million years ago, you’d have the basic premise of the movie. Our pilot and the only other sole survivor, a girl, must brave the perils of ancient Earth, and locate their escape craft, all before the main asteroid of 65 million years ago arrives to ruin everyone’s day. The predacious dinosaurs who attack our hero and his charge are outclassed by his laser rifle and some really neat mini-bombs, but outnumber him greatly, making this a syfy survival flick. You know they’ll survive, but get knocked around a good bit with numerous close escapes, and it’s all rollicking good fun that’s paced well, and doesn’t pretend to be more than it is…

Laser (and phaser) rifles are definitely cool! They give you so much more of a presence than just a hand phaser. James T. Kirk knew this, and looked like a boss holding one. Did you know that his phaser rifle sold for $615,000 at auction? That’s not a bad trade-in allowance considering that it was an older model compared to those seen in The Next Generation. Wouldn’t you like to own a laser rifle? ‘Fess up, now…

But I digress…Adam Driver shines as the alien but humanoid pilot, looking and reminding me a bit of Keanu Reeves in the part. You may want to catch this Dino-tastic film, because it goes quickly to the action, and future tech versus saurian hordes is a fun ride… 🦊

Dean Winters’ Allstate Mayhem “Bear” Commercial…

June 24, 2023

Allstate’s “Mayhem” personification Dean Winters is a delight, often playing animal characters in commercials without any attempt made at animal costuming. You only know what he is impersonating because he tells you what he is, and is thinking…and acts the part! Dean Winters has memorably played in Allstate commercials a cat, raccoon, and St. Bernard puppy…

“I’m a bear,” offers Winters, “coming out of hibernation after the best nap of my life. And Papa is HUNGRY!” What, you’ve never seen a bear in a suit before? He comes up through the forest to the partially opened window of an SUV, peering through it in an exploratory fashion…

Without effort, Winters/Bear rips the door off the SUV, going inside in search of food. “And while you’re hitting the trail,” he elaborates, “I’m hitting your cooler!” Foodstuff goes flying out of the vehicle, with Winers happy to find some hot dog rolls…

When he’s done, our well-dressed bear whaps the mirror off the side of the vehicle, just for good measure. Now your insurance may not pay for all of this devastation, so you may wanna get Allstate to be protected from Mayhem, reminds Winters…”Like me!” He roars unconvincingly as he walks off, his job there done…

(The “Mayhem” Fox, Instrument of Chaos!) 🦊

Of Mechanical Beasts: the “Metalhead” episode of “Black Mirror”

June 16, 2023

Set in the monochrome hell of a bleak, dystopian future where artificial intelligence has driven civilization into the ground and all but eradicated humanity, three scavengers enter a warehouse in search of needed supplies to help an injured companion. They extract a box which looks promising, but hidden behind the box is a robotic guard dog…

The Robo-dog, like the creations of Skynet, is an efficient killing machine. It sprays the three humans with tracking shrapnel, and kills one swiftly with a firearm integrated into a limb. The two survivors flee to their vehicles with the Robo-dog in pursuit; this mech is relentless and merciless, and it gallops after them, smashing into one vehicle and killing the driver…

That leaves only the one woman, Bella, alive to battle the robotic horror. Fortunately she’s cut from the same cloth as Linda Hamilton and Sigourney Weaver, crashing her vehicle in an attempt to crush the metalhead but only damaging one of its limbs. That damage renders the robotic dog incapable of climbing a tree, and loss of battery power forces it to power down until it can do a solar recharge. It does so, however, and the pursuit continues…

The Robo-dog selects a knife as an alternative weapon, but the survivalist woman blinds it’s visual sensors with paint. It continues to come after her using auditory sensors, and it takes two shotgun blasts to put it down. Before being destroyed, however, the killer Robo again sprays the woman with tracking shrapnel, one of which lodges hopelessly beyond removal in her jugular.

The tales of Netflix’s “Black Mirror” seldom have happy endings, however, and more robo-dogs are on the way, far more than could be out-battled. The dark tale does, however, end with a twist, leaving the viewer dazed and dazzled…what a rush!

(Battle-damaged Robo-fox on the attack…)

“Beetlejuice 2” is coming!

May 24, 2023

From Batman to Beetlejuice, Michael Keaton has played them all…and if there’s one movie sequel that he’s wanted to make, it’s been of The Ghost With The Most. Well, in September our long wait will be over with Beetlejuice 2 due to arrive! Our favorite bio-exorcist will again thank heavens be played by Michael Keaton, who after 35 years can probably play the role with less makeup.- -Yes, Beetlejuice will finally be back, and “more juicier than ever! I’m in…

In the sequel which acknowledges the passage of time, the goth girl Lydia from the original movie has grown up, and had children of her own. Jenna Ortega, titular character from the Netflix series Wednesday has been brilliantly cast to play the daughter, which should be right up her alley.

In Beetlejuice 2, we will again return to the strangely bureaucratic world of the afterlife, although plot details have been few and are tightly under wraps. Presumably we’ll get to hear more of Harry Bellafonte’s Calypso music score. There has been reference made not only to Lydia’s daughter, however, but also to Beetlejuice’s WIFE, so we know that Beetlejuice is truly a soul in hell…

I’m really looking forward to revisiting the dark and at times grotesque world of this fantasy/horror/comedy, and can’t wait to hear Beetlejuice once more announce, “It’s showtime!

“Guardians Vol. 3,” and Rocket Raccoon’s Backstory…

May 7, 2023

I eagerly look forward to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 released this month as it highlights and furnishes the backstory of Rocket Raccoon, who director James Gunn describes as the “secret protagonist” of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies…

Now Rocket Raccoon is an iconic character, especially to those of us who identify as furry. In this film, we see his humble beginnings as a “street raccoon,” and Rocket was perfectly happy being an animal. His forced transition to a snarky biological weapon was fraught with pain, and we are shown those Dr. Moreau-type experiments that later led the character to remark, “there ain’t nothing like me except me.” There’s a lot more to Rocket other than the master strategist, pilot, weapons-master, and space maverick that we know and love, and we see his vulnerability and terrible aloneness here…

Fortunately, it’s a commonality of trauma that binds The Guardians together, and in this their final ride as a team they appear to be going out in fine form in a movie described as both dark and hilarious.- – Long live Rocket Raccoon! 🦝

The “Lost in Space” Reboot, Reconsidered…

April 17, 2023

I have to admit that I was wrong in my earlier negative opinion of the rebooted Lost In Space series on Netflix that had been based solely on the initial episode that I was able to view at that time for free. I couldn’t connect with the redefined series characters at that time, and felt that the whole reboot was a pointless exercise. Since that time armed with a Netflix subscription and so able to get further into the series, I can say that the series does get appreciably better after the first episode, when they spent entirely too much time trying to get daughter Judy out of a frozen lake…

Now what really makes the series perk?

This guy! Not the “Robot” from the original series who looked like he was made from a vacuum cleaner and several kitchen appliances, but this sexy alien construction who looks like he was designed by H.R. Giger. There’s not a flat surface on him, nor facial features but rather a faceplate within which swirl colored lights, red if he’s going into “attack mode,” and blue if he’s becoming reflective and empathetic. There’s a bit of the T-800 Terminator in this robot as he does have a dark past, but has bonded with the ever-so-familiar Will Robinson, through whom he’s being schooled in such concepts as restraint and friendship. The Robot’s potential for destruction is channeled into defensiveness and protection as he incorporates human emotion. Heck, he even does primitive cave wall paintings! This Robot can knock down trees, but can also be calm and cool even if a tad unpredictable. He’s a work in progress…

The Robinsons are really much better off with the Robot, who is largely controllable through Will Robinson. Portrayed as a highly intelligent 12-year-old boy, Will is nowhere as annoying as say, Wesley Crusher. Father John Robinson, re-envisioned as a former Navy Seal, is a stalwart and dedicated family man and almost indestructible, capable of surviving in a drill pit after being impaled on a rebar stake, then returning to work almost immediately afterwards. Mother Maureen Robinson has had her IQ bolstered several dozen IQ points from the original character, and is an endlessly resourceful modern take-charge woman who can fix something with almost nothing, saving their backsides multiple times in the process. Major Don West is now a resourceful space smuggler and rogue, a bit like the early Han Solo, who will make the right decisions when the Robinsons are in jeopardy, which is often. Judy Robinson is an adopted daughter portrayed as 18-years-old, and although trained as a medic she can apparently perform almost any life-saving procedure. Middle-child Penny is highly intelligent, intuitive, and creative.

Aww! Isn’t this nice! The Robot at dinner with the Robinsons! This illustrates how while masquerading as science fiction, Lost In Space is essentially a sappy family drama. In almost every episode, there are invariably hostile planetary monsters, killer robots, or a disintegrating planet in environmental upheaval. You know that they will all survive, however, and that there will invariably also be, at the end, a whole lotta hugging going on!

I have to admit, though, that I’m really more interested in the killer robots depicted in the series. I’ve always loved robots, you see, and am willing to put up with the gratuitous hugging of family members if it gets me to one…

Rock this “House” on Netflix!

April 14, 2023

Stop-motion animation has progressed a lot since the days of the 1960’s Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, and The House on Netflix, like Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, illustrates this beautifully! The House is a trio of stories loosely centered around a house occupied by different parties, the house itself seemingly morphing in both size and location. Presenting as kind of a surreal, seductive nightmare, The House at times is quite charming before luring us into disturbing reality violations and explorations of themes like frustrated ambitions and appearances versus realities.

The first family to inhabit the house are human, and are rather whimsical, Muppet-appearing creatures, with something quite British about them. Living a happy but lackluster lower middle-class existence, they essentially buy into the plans of a mad architect to live in a house he builds for them, ultimately falling prey to their own greed and ignorance. Nothing is as it appears to be in The House…

Segments two and three involve anthropomorphic animals in the house, with the second chapter detailing a kind of rat real estate agent who tries to sell the house while battling the bugs that infest it. There is a musical song and dance extravaganza involving the “fur beetles,” the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the dancing cockroaches of the movie-version of Cats. It’s utterly nauseating, but you can’t look away from it, either. Horror mesmerizes…

Segment three, my personal favorite, is for the felines, with hard-working calico cat Rosa seeking to convert the house into rental units, dealing with constant setbacks and non-paying tenants. One of her renters tries to pay Rosa with a fish, whereas the other, a very new-age type of cat, offers a crystal in lieu of rent. Eventually the property is flood-inundated, and Rosa must join her tenants in a makeshift flotilla of boats, some crafted from timbers of the house. This actually represents a kind of liberation from the entrapments of possessions and materialism. The cats really don’t know what lies ahead, but really, do any of us?

Although heavy on anthropomorphic animals, The House is adult animation, not for children who might find its contents disturbing. Although it’s cute and cozy at times, The House has horrific elements, and kind of sneaks up on you at times. The best subtle horror can do that. The House will make you think, but you wouldn’t want to live within its walls, because it’s a stop-motion nightmare…

Art Imitating Art…

April 3, 2023

I have to admit that I’m a big fan of old school gangster movies, even though they predate me. I’m particularly fond of Edward G. Robinson and Peter Lorre in their gangster roles, back in the day when good writing and solid acting alone drove movies.

Bugs Bunny could play that game, too. In the short Racketeer Rabbit (1946), he goes head-to-head with ‘toon versions of Robinson and Lorre, playing them as readily as he often played Elmer Fudd. In this Friz Freleng classic, Bugs is never intimidated, but plays all of the gangland conventions against them, treating a grilling as a sunlamp, ducking under machine gun fire, and treating a gangland “ride” as a delightful outing…

In the end, Bugs has driven Robinson’s “Rocky” character screaming out of the hideout, and Bugs is doing his best Edward G. Robinson impersonation…truly a small masterpiece, a work of art imitating art!

The Fabulous, Gangster Felines of “Lackadaisy”

March 15, 2023

Cats, when you think about it, are natural vintage 1920’s-era gangster animals. You’ve heard of swing cats, and they’ve got the music of the jazz era covered, with an electro-swing soundtrack. So put a bunch of anthropomorphic cats in prohibition era New Orleans. complete with the garb, wheels, weaponry, and style of the era, and you’ve got a real winner! I’d like a piece of their action, frankly…

Now Lackadaisy is a speakeasy that operates during Prohibition behind the front of the Little Daisy Cafe eatery. It’s previous proprietor was slain in a hit, so it remains to the surviving members of the mob to find their way again, and keep their business operational. Fortunately, cats are nothing if not adaptable survivors, and within their numbers they are well able to meet these challenges, all the time looking good, and fully in the spirit of the age…

Lackadaisy is the creation of Tracy J. Butler, and originated as a webcomic that is approaching breakout status, with a short film in the works. Her artwork is richly detailed and highly expressive, with a world of distinctive characters. I really think that great things lie ahead for these gangster cats, and their retro, fully-visualized 1927 speakeasy world…check ‘em out! 😸


“We play rough. That ‘s why they call us animals!

NJM’s “Therapy” Commercial…

March 11, 2023

Being a mascot therapist must be a highly specialized niche within psychotherapy, and a sweet gig if you can get it. The clients are all quite remarkable, like the green catfish mascot who’s questioning his whole existence, and having anxiety over the fact that NJM has no mascots. “Identity crisis,” writes the therapist dutifully in her note pad…

Prompted to tell her more, the giant catfish comments almost tearfully that he also can’t seem to blink. I meant more about NJM,” redirects the therapist.– –Ohh, the angst, the suffering here! We hear a muffled wailing sound, and the scene shifts to the waiting room, where we see a penguin and a robot mascot on the couch, awaiting their turn with the doctor. They are all good mascots with their tales of woe, no doubt, but unfortunately NJM doesn’t use mascots. Pity that, because these all look like good mascots…

Now if these fellows can’t find employment as mascots, surely they could fit into the Otherkin community… 🦊