Archive for April 2015

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Bigfoot of Ashe County: AIMS Erupts…

April 27, 2015

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Well, it was Round Two with the infamous Cherokee Devil on the S3/Ep08 installment of Mountain Monsters. The AIMS team met with “Aaron,” a supposed Bigfoot expert who maintained that there had been 12 sightings of the Cherokee Devil in the past 3-1/2 years, following which encounters seven of the people involved had simply disappeared! For the Devil to manifest himself, the witness has to be alone.

As team members Buck (pictured) and Huck had experienced previous encounters detailed in the last episode, they decided to venture out at night themselves without the knowledge or approval of the rest of the team. Heading to the shack in the woods where Buck had earlier supposedly been stashed by the creature, they found backwards writing on the walls, and heard scratching sounds. Team leader Trapper was not pleased to hear of their exploits the next day, and the assembled group returned to the shack, almost failing to find it as it had been camouflaged, presumably by the Devil. A spooky dude appeared outside of the shack who made the team members appear eloquent by comparison, and it was ventured that he was one of the seven who had seen the creature and completely disappeared. He did exactly that while the team was checking out reversed writing on the rear of the shed, so there wasn’t much character development there.

Well, the master plan was to use Buck as bait, placing him in a protective cage on the bridge trap that had been constructed but unused during the previous episode. Buck however took it upon himself to sneak out undetected late at night to go one-on-one with the Devil, who he felt would not appear if the trap was set, being that the Devil could read minds and all. The episode was reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project as Buck went first to the shack and then to the bridge trap by his lonesome, all the while thoughtfully video-journaling his thoughts for our convenience…


As the youngest member of the AIMS team sat alone on the bridge trap, the Cherokee Devil apparently manifested itself to him, although we in the viewing audience saw nothing; this is a low-budget show, after all. Buck was apparently able to drive the beastie off by uttering the Cherokee word for “leave,” a trick apparently communicated to him by the little Cherokee girl whose ghostly presence had been perceived in association with the Devil. – – Wasn’t that convenient?!

 

Categories: animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, controversial, furry, paranormal, speculation, television, unexplained
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Chupacabra and the Kraken on “True Supernatural”

April 24, 2015

 

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Both the Chupacabra and the Kraken have been considered at other times on several similar shows, but like old friends (I have strange associates) it was good to visit them again on S1/Ep2 of True Supernatural (2014).

Information on the Chupacabra focused on appearances in and around Cuero, Texas. Specimens acquired in this region have leathery, hairless skin, strange paws on which the middle digits are somewhat attached, blue eyes, and apparently strange nodules on the rear end. The creature moves unusually, and may have only two nipples on a side. Unlike Mountain Monsters, the True Supernatural show tends to interview actual scientists, university researchers, and also more credible eyewitnesses.

Three reputed Chupacabra corpses were at hand, one of which was from Dr. Phyllis Canion, who lost 28 chickens on her ranch to the mysterious predator. From the three specimens, samples were sent to an animal genetics lab at the Texas A & M University, where analyses were run on bone, skin, and teeth that yielded conflicted results. One specimen was identifiably canine, the other a coyote-dog hybrid, and Dr. Canion’s was a coyote/Mexican wolf hybrid. Normally these two species don’t breed, and the Mexican wolf hasn’t been seen in the area for 80 years. Speculation ranges from the conspiracy crazy…that Chupacabra was a living weapon created by the government…to the more reasonable, that Chupacabra represented a form of spontaneous evolution…

Now in Berlin, Nevada a site has the fossilized remains of nine Ichthyosaurs, apex predators that were rather like the killer whales of their Triassic day. What is curious is that these remains all show broken necks and ribs, with their skeletons twisted and seemingly arranged. The inference was given that these bad boys were themselves bested by something even badder, namely the legendary Kraken! Cephalopods are known to construct fort-like structures and to be far more intelligent than we usually give them credit for being. The scenario was presented that when oceans covered the area, a Kraken lured these mighty Ichthyosaurs into its lair, killed them, played with their remains, and then arranged the vertebral columns in a fashion which may have mimicked the array of suckers on its tentacles. Wild stuff…and as invertebrates tend not to leave much of a fossil record, we do not of course have proof of a Kraken other than sailor accounts from an earlier century.

As the great Fox Mulder would agree, the truth is out there. Cue the X-Files theme music, please…and release the Kraken!

Categories: animals, aquatic, controversial, cryptozoology, speculation, television, unexplained
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Mercedes-Benz “Fable” Commercial…

April 22, 2015

 

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I love to see classic fables revisited, and Mercedes-Benz has a winner in this one!  You know the story; the overly-confident hare challenges the stalwart tortoise to a race, in this version calling him a “turtle” and taunting that he better have a jet pack under his shell!

This bunny-boy is an arrogant jock of a type I’m well familiar with from high school; “Bask in my glory!,” the hare tells an adoring crowd.  Then the race begins (with a fox referee, please note), and the hare is off in a cloud of dust while the tortoise plods on, even being passed by a snail!  So great is his lead that the hare feels he has time for a few hands of cards with other woodland animals over a tree stump.  Meanwhile, the tortoise uses that time to turn into a Mercedes-Benz factory.  “Plot twist!,” he announces.  A magnificent Mercedes is shown; “Slow and steady, my a**,” comments the tortoise, his last word drowned out by a throaty engine growl.  The headlights of the Mercedes flare on like an angry beast…

All too late does the hare see the tortoise coming, the vehicle vaulting over him as he frantically tries to pull away from its approach.  “Who’s your turtle?!,” he exults. The victory of the tortoise is glorious!  Such is the power, you see, of German engineering…

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

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Bigfoot of Ashe County: AIMS Under Attack!

April 21, 2015

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The S3/Ep07 of Mountain Monsters was a strange business indeed, getting into the Cherokee Devil, a kind of Bigfoot with alleged mind-control abilities.  Like a Jedi Master of Star Wars fame manipulating the mind of an Imperial Storm Trooper, this Bigfoot we’re asked to believe used his powers of mental dominance to befuddle and manipulate two members of the investigative team of “West Virginian Sons.” Clearly, he wasn’t the droid that they were looking for…

Now this Bigfoot from North Carolina was first spotted in the 1600’s, stands a whopping 8-1/2 to 10 feet tall, weighs in at about 800 lbs., is black to gray in color, and has prominent eyes.  Interdispersed with the usual coarse and questionable humor, the team first interviewed a furniture maker called “Liz” who spotted the creature and was mentally dominated by him, loosing four hours of time when she regained conscious awareness in a different location later.  

On the first night’s investigation, the team found “Honeysuckle Domes,” nests of sorts used by the creature.  They heard something large in front of them, and when team member “Buck” led the way, he vanished and was found later sitting down in a broken down shack in a kind of trance state.  “He told me not to move,” muttered Buck about his encounter.  The team took Buck to a safe location, where he later said he was sick and confused, sleeping badly that night.  The next day, Buck related that the Cherokee Devil Bigfoot had pulled him by the elbow and tossed him in the shack, showing team members some nasty bruises on his left upper arm and shoulder. Buck also maintained that he saw a Cherokee girl appearing with the Bigfoot.

The team believed that Bigfoot was trying to hide something in the woods, later finding a totem pole type object.  “Huckleberry” then fell, becoming agitated and then zoning out when he got up.  They bundled Huckleberry away in their truck, where he muttered spooky things like “It doesn’t matter,” and “I know who’s gonna die.”  When leaving the spaced-out Huckleberry alone in the truck for a few moments, he wandered off…

…Buck had rejoined the team by then, and in searching for Huckleberry claimed that he had seen the mysterious Cherokee girl again.  The team sought out the totem pole that they had found previously for answers, but found it was missing!  A short while later they heard Huckleberry scream, and found the rascal nearly naked and muddy (not a pretty sight) holding the totem pole. Tackling him in a body of water, the shock of that seemed to restore him while doing nothing to enhance his appearance. 

With enough freakiness for then, team leader Trapper decided to pull the team out, regroup, and come back again another time.  Such repeat encounters usually don’t go well either, and are equally unrevealing.  The season finale is upcoming for those of stout hearts and strong stomachs…groan!

 

Categories: anthropomorphic, controversial, cryptozoology, paranormal, strange happenings, television, unexplained, unidentified

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Hannah and Her Horse…

April 19, 2015

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As a diehard Mr. Ed fan, I’m glad to see talking horses on the small screen again! Fashion model Hannah Davis is shown on a pristine beach, together with a magnificent white horse.  Making her pitch for DirecTV services, the horse soon chimes in with his agreement, revealing that he not only talks, but sings a bit as well. Hannah and her Horse replaces the Rob Lowe spokesman after compaints were made that his spots were misleading. 

A horse is a horse, of course, of course…but it’s hard to beat anthropomorphic talking ones who can also improvise a tune!

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Geico Chicken…”It’s What You Do…”

April 15, 2015

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Dang, this chicken leads a more adventurous life than I do!  A  free-range chicken is shown riding the rails, traveling shotgun with a trucker, enjoying a campfire gathering, and sitting at a diner counter while observing egg platters being served…that’s gotta be awkward! – – Ahh, the lure of the open road, to be footloose and fancy free!  All the while, said chicken manages to send pictures of her exploits to a worn-looking farm couple, her former owners…

…it’s what she does…after all, she’s a free-range chicken, doing what she’s called to do!  The sweeping melody of “Ride Away” by Roy Orbison accompanies the Geico commercial, and I’d love to log a few miles with this bird! 

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Rocky Mountain Demon Wolf…and More on “True Supernatural!”

April 14, 2015

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Once again the Destination America channel has spawned a new show on the strange and the unexplained, this one called True Supernatural, a title which in itself may be an oxymoron. The introductory episode I viewed rehashed an artifact from the alleged alien abduction of Barney and Betty Hill in 1961, alternating with a story on an as of yet unidentified “demon wolf.” Rather than running one storyline through to completion, the show spent several minutes on one tale then bounced to the other, going back and forth in this fashion until this viewer at least was annoyed…it’s not like there were any commonalities between the stories being covered!

Now many of us are familiar with the classic Betty and Barney Hill abduction tale, and aliens are apparently pretty rough on human clothing, tearing and staining Betty Hill’s blue dress, which was the artifact examined.  A pink powder was left on the upper portions of the dress which unfortunately was lost when the victim aired the dress out. The stains remained, however, and persist on the dress to this day.  Speculation exists as to whether the stains may harbor alien DNA, but despite testing by six labs, none can identify the powder, extract DNA from the stains, or even reproduce the stains on the dress fabric by human means.  This might even suggest that the aliens in question did not even have DNA, at least as we would recognize it.  Betty Hill’s poor damaged dress continues to exist in university storage, and if a smart lawyer ever catches up with said aliens, they’re gonna be smacked with major damage claims, not to mention pain and suffering!

Now the town of Ennis, Montana has the stuffed remains of an unknown species referred to as the Rocky Mountain Demon Wolf, a gigantic and ferocious creature.  Reports of the creature’s predations date back to the 1880’s, with the specimen shot in 1886.  The animal has an oddly-shaped head, and slopes off towards its hind quarters, rather like a hyena.  It’s hide is so tough that it’s reportedly resistant to arrows and even bullets, making it hard to kill.  Known to take sheep and dogs, modern killings recorded in 2005 and 2006 suggest that perhaps the creature may still be active.  As to what the animal is, speculations range wildly from a mutant wolf to a hybrid to a wolf with birth defects caused by exposure to heavy metals.  Wilder still are speculations that this demon wolf may be a primitive canine, a kind of prehistoric remnant or “Lazarus Species.”  

DNA testing on the Demon Wolf has been delayed due to the fact that two groups are claiming ownership of it, and the courts must decide who to award it to before such work can be performed.  With the glacial pace of some court proceedings, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for that ruling!

Categories: aliens, anomalies, anthropomorphic, controversial, cryptozoology, paranormal, strange happenings, television, unexplained, weird
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Bigfoot of Lincoln County on “Mountain Monsters”

April 13, 2015

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The reality show “Mountain Monsters” is back for a new season, and regretably none of the principal characters appears to have gotten a haircut or had dental work done. In the S3/Ep04 installment, the hillbilly-styled hunters went in pursuit of a hellhound that had eluded them in a previous season only to acquire as a bonus a Bigfoot clone as well…

Now the hunt was on in Lincoln County, West Virginia where a farmer named “Jay” reported seeing a canid creature that stood about 4′ high at the shoulder and weighed in at about 500 lbs.  A second farmer, “John,” saw the creature and produced a trail camera picture that showed the tail and head of a rather long creature shown in profile, putting to rest speculation that the hellhound was a bear.  More interesting was the fact that the farmer also claimed to have seen a Bigfoot-type creature standing seven to eight feet tall and peering into his window one night.  It was speculated that perhaps the Bigfoot creature was associating with the hellhound, in the same fashion that a human hunter might run a dog!

Well, expert trap maker Willy and tracker “Wild Bill” built a trap in the cornfield of farmer John, with netting inside of it intended to slow the hellhound and spring the trap.  During the final night’s hunt, both hellhound and BIgfoot prints were found, and amidst a confusion of yelling, bad lighting, and poor camera angles team leader “Trapper” was knocked down, presumably by the crafty hellhound.  The passage of something moving through the cornfield could be seen which caused movement of the corn stalks over an area.  More dramatically, team member “Willy” was at that point supposedly grabbed by the shoulder and dragged about 30 yards, presumably by the Bigfoot.  

Racing in chaotic and noisy pursuit of whatever had manhandled one of their members, the team came upon a clearing where they found an inverted 20′ tree rammed into the ground and surrounded by a number of rock piles.  The team questioned whether this discovery was of a navigational aide or perhaps had ceremonial significance to the Bigfoot.  With a great deal of oaths and expletives, the team declared their intent to further pursue Bigfoot wherever the trail might lead them…

…Will the AIMS team ever catch a Bigfoot? – – And wouldn’t you like to knock around with a hellhound? The answers to these and other perplexing questions await us…

Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, television, unexplained
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The John Keel Files Special…

April 4, 2015

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Many of us are familiar to at least a degree with the Mothman saga, and the S3/Ep09 2015 installment of Monsters and Mysteries in America spent the full episode on Mothman, emphasizing the investigative role of pioneering paranormal journalist John Keel. Now Keel was on assignment from Playboy magazine to look into UFO’s, and together with area reporter Mary Hyre looked into the hundreds of Mothman sightings that occurred up and down the Ohio River within only two months of time, especially within the area of Point Pleasant, West Virginia.

…now Mothman is described as standing about seven feet tall, and resembling a cross between a man and an alien with wings. A number of sightings had occurred in the so-called TNT area, where old abandoned bunkers had stored explosives during the World War II era. The most intensive time of sightings occurred between November of 1966 and December of 1967, but Mothman was actually just the headliner in what was actually a cluster of paranormal events. In addition to Mothman, lights were seen in the skies, the presence of which attracted dogs which were later found slaughtered and drained of blood. Cattle mutilations were also reported, and a bloodmobile was supposedly attacked at night by a UFO which gripped it in mechanical arms until the presence of other car lights drove it off. Point Pleasant also saw an influx of “Men in Black,” those dark-clad, sunglasses-wearing figures that some see as government operatives while others regard as aliens. MIB’s supposedly tried to intimidate key investigators, including Mary Hyre and her niece. John Keel was contacted by various unknown entities over the phone even after he had left Point Pleasant, and he had the impression that some of them could foretell the future.

The convergence of all of these strange events seemed to be building towards something dire, and sure enough the Silver Bridge collapsed on December 15th, 1967 during rush hour, killing 46 people in the worst bridge collapse in U.S. history. Mothman was said to have flown over the bridge prior to its collapse…

…new sightings of Mothman and related encounters are said to continue, with a reported frequency of one perhaps every month or two. One man interviewed had seen the Mothman while a child in his parent’s car, and he returned to the area to experience another encounter as an adult, when he saw a black figure emerge out of what was described as a shimmering curtain. The gentleman involved speculated that perhaps Mothman was a Thunderbird, some kind of ancient being, or perhaps a multidimensional creature.

Well, everyone’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have a diet Coke…

Categories: aliens, anomalies, anthropomorphic, controversial, cryptozoology, paranormal, speculation, strange happenings, television, unexplained, unidentified

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