Archive for March 2010

The Sierra Nevada Sasquatch

March 18, 2010

– – In what may be the last episode of MonsterQuest ever, we were promised “aggressively territorial packs of Sasquatch,” and received, blobsquatch, a short,  low resolution May of 1991 video taken at Mono Lake that shows something east of the Sierra Nevada mountains.  Some contend that the creature depicted was a black bear, while others feel it was a genuine Bigfoot clone.  Enhancements of the footage revealed little in light of its poor quality, while whatever was depicted was calculated to be between six and eight feet high…

Perhaps more promising were the Jamie Avalos footprint casts suggesting smaller than average Sasquatch that may represent evidence of juvenile creatures; we all know how cute Sasquatch are at that age!  An adult Sasquatch print tends to run about 16″ long and show a flat foot.  MonsterQuest’s scientific team determined that the Sierra Nevada area (near the California-Nevada border) could support a group of large primates.

Lastly, there were the eyewitness reports, including a hunter who saw multiple creatures in 2005, and a motorist who had an encounter in 2006.  Such eyewitnesses appear credible, even if a bit shell-shocked.

If this is the last episode of MonsterQuest ever*, they have gone out with a whimper rather than a bang, and even Dr. Meldrum may not be enough to save the series.  At least we still have Destination Truth and possibly similar shows to come…

…and as for the Sasquatch, as one expert concluded on MonsterQuest, “They don’t want to  interact with human beings; if they do, they’ll let you know.”

(* I’ve since learned that another new episode of MonsterQuest is coming…America’s Wolfman, March 24th!)

One Tough Dog!

March 18, 2010

– – From our tough dog department, we bring you the tail of a dog in Chattanooga, Tenn. that escaped from a fence in a nearby welding shop, and decided that he could take on a local cop who was running radar, and ruining the day for some otherwise law-abiding motorists…

…well, imagine the look on that public servant’s face when he felt his squad car shaking, and saw a bulldog chewing on his tires!   The mighty mutt also attacked two passing cars and a second police car, and was not deterred when the police used pepper spray and a Taser on him!

By the time that animal center staffers captured mighty dog and two others, he had chewed two tires and the entire front bumper off the first patrol car!- – Talk about bulldog tenacity!  If a Klingon owned a dog, it would be like that one!

Meaning in Randomness…

March 17, 2010

– – There is that in the human mind which wants to see patterns in chaos, and order in the random.  Pareidolia is the term for the psychological phenomenom where a vague or random stimulus is assigned a pattern or meaning by the person perceiving it, and regarded to be significant.  Examples of this might include seeing faces or animals in clouds, Elvis in bathroom mold, or Jesus in food residue…

Consider this instance of an image of Christ found in bacon remnants that were created when a young English gentleman went to cook up some bacon in a frying pan, falling asleep and awakening to find an apparent divine image in what remained.  Dependent upon the nature of the image, their size, and their location, crowds of the faithful or the merely curious can be drawn, and fortunes made by sale of the item on eBay.

We will leave it to others to ponder whether the bacon was cured by Jesus, or if the real miracle was that the gentleman didn’t burn his house down!- -No wonder some think bacon tastes divine!    😉

Sock Monkey Mania!

March 16, 2010

– – Sock monkeys seem to be going through a renaissance lately.  I’ve always found sock monkeys vaguely unnerving, and I’m not sure that I entirely trust them, feeling that there’s more to them than meets the eye.  This impression has been heightened for me by the Kia Sorento “Joyride” commercial featuring a life-sized sock monkey together with his equally-unlikely companions that include a robot, a teddy bear, a knobby orange thing called “Muno,” and “Mr. X.”

Well, no good can come from this unholy alliance, and the strange crew goes on a road trip that includes stops at a bowling alley, a mountainside hot tub, a tattoo parlor, and even Las Vegas where they gamble and show off a few dance moves; what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas, often for good reason.

But suddenly, we flash back to reality, where the characters in this surreal little drama turn out to be toys in the back seat of a Sorento!  It’s kinda like A Toy Story on acid, or maybe a rejected Twilight Zone episode…

…and I’m still uneasy about sock monkeys!   Perhaps it’s because he’s shown driving the car, although from what I’ve seen some cars might be better driven by a sock monkey…at least he’s not texting!     😉

Billy the Exterminator!

March 13, 2010

– – You may not want to watch this show while eating, especially when he’s grappling with cockroaches, but otherwise Billy the Exterminator on the A & E network is a hoot!

Now Louisiana has lots of critters needing removal, and Billy together with his brother, Ricky, and other members of his family run a small but effective operation that’s shared with you.   Billy himself looks like an over-aged punk rocker or goth, complete with spiked hair, black clothes,  spiked armband, and  an aura of cheerful insanity; such apparently helps in that business.   He seems like a really nice guy and knows his stuff, even if you wouldn’t want him to marry your sister…anyhow, ladies, he’s taken!   As far as exterminators go, Billy’s also refreshingly humane, and tends to be into relocation of most of the life forms he removes, except for the insects.- –Catch and Release, three words to live by!

Watch a few episodes, and you’ll see Billy remove poisonous snakes, raccoons, bats, beavers, and a variety of other mammals and invertebrates from sites where they’re not wanted.  In a recent surreal episode, the intrepid exterminator was called upon to remove a nasty, p.o.’d rattlesnake from the cremation area of a funeral parlor.  It’s not all the glory stuff, however…in an another episode, you crawl along with Billy as he goes underneath a building to remove the festering and rancid corpse of a bloated, decomposing cat that’s stinking to high heaven.–“Fluffy’s not so fluffy anymore,” jokes Billy, noting that bugs are crawling in and out of the late cat’s head.- -Sure am glad that I wasn’t snacking during that one!

So give Billy the Exterminator a look…he’s got an interesting if offbeat life, and you might find a new role model!


The Flatwoods Monster!

March 11, 2010

– – You can call him the Flatwoods Monster, or you can call him the Braxton County Monster, or you can call him the Phantom of Flatwoods…just don’t call him early in the morning or late for dinner, ’cause this nine or ten foot tall reptilian monster gets cranky, and just might emit some noxious fumes in your direction that could act like mustard gas, burn your respiratory tract, and ruin your whole day!

In a golden oldie incident going way back to September 12th of 1952, the Flatwoods Monster event was still cool, representing as it did a Close Encounter of the Third Kind! Back even before Elvis made it big, a large, pulsating ball of red light hovered above or rested on the ground in the town of Flatwoods in Braxton County, West Virginia.  The apparent pilot of this craft was described as being about ten feet tall but reptilian in aspect, with bulging red non-human eyes, a red face that glowed from within, and a green body clad with green, pleated skirt-like apparel that may have been a booster.   Some accounts describe the creature as having no visible arms, while others attribute short stubby arms ending in two claw-like fingers that protruded from the front of the body.  Clearly, this alien would have had a hard time finding a date on Saturday night, even in West Virginia.

When startled, the creature is reported to have emitted a series of sharp hisses and a thumping sound that emanated from within its body, ejecting for good measure a thick mist of noxious substance that irritated the eyes and noses of witnesses.   An oily residue of this substance was reportedly found on the faces of two of the witnesses after the encounter, another reportedly getting it on clothing.

Now MonsterQuest reports that other sightings of the Flatwoods Monster have occurred since ’52 and in other regions, although Flatwoods remains the epicenter.  Most recently, three such humanoid creatures were seen by a lone deer hunter who was understandably freaked out by the whole experience.  In their investigation of the sighting area, MonsterQuest investigators questioned whether a release of gases from the underground may have caused hallucinations and the reported  fireball associated with the appearance of the monster.  Their investigation found no sign of radiation or gas leaks.   Chemical investigations of a black plastic-like substance found indicated that it was a natural, organic material like wood.

In a tangent, the episode questioned whether the creature seen might have been a human-alien hybrid, and dragged out the Starchild skull, a freaky 800-some-year-old artifact that we’ve previously considered in an earlier post here.  The expert working with the Starchild skull found it to be that of a human child with modifications that were intentionally inflicted, very possibly as part of a cultural practice like cradle-boarding.

So what in the final analysis do we have?–As usual, not much of anything, but it was a fun trip, and it was good to have seen physicist Stanton Friedman again, who made a brief appearance on the episode!  It was also concluded that witnesses from the original and later sightings of the Flatwoods Monster were most likely seeing the same thing…and I’d rather meet with the grays than reptilian extraterrestrials, wouldn’t you?


Animal Lawyer!

March 9, 2010

– – You have, of course, heard of Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. But did you know that Switzerland boasts an animal lawyer?

Now animal rights are no joke in tiny Switzerland, which revised and tightened its regulations two years ago.  Their animal protection laws are 160 pages long, stating among other things that pigs, budgies, goldfish, and other social animals can’t be kept alone.  Horses and cows must have regular exercise outside their stalls, and dog owners must take a training course to learn how to look after their pets.   As in other countries, the law forbids killing animals in a cruel fashion or for fun.    Swiss voters, however, recently rejected by a margin of about 70% a proposal which would have required special lawyers to be appointed to act on behalf of animals.

Switzerland’s single animal defense lawyer, Antoine F. Goetschel, represents about 150-200 animals annually, although only a handful of cases go to court each year.  Most of his clients are dogs, cows, and cats.  Cases often involve the serious abuse of animals, such as deliberate wounding, neglect, and yes, rape.  Such cases can get a bit ridiculous, as in one handled last month where the attorney represented a dead pike after an animal protection group accused the angler who caught it of cruelty for taking ten minutes to haul the fish in…

The Dino Dilemma…

March 7, 2010

– – How, oh how, did the dinosaurs die off?- – For many, the answer has been an asteroid impact, while others have blamed the eruption of a mega-volcano. Yet others think that they smoked too much… (Gary Larson, et al)

Well, the latest is that a “dream team” of 41 researchers from 12 nations continue to feel that the evidence points overwhelmingly to a mountain-sized asteroid more than seven miles wide impacting with the earth at twenty times the speed of a rifle bullet about 65 million years ago, leaving a 120-mile-wide scar, the Chicxulub crater,  on the Mexican coast. An impact-induced environmental catastrophe ensued,  with melted rock raining as far as northern Canada followed by caustic chemicals, dust, and soot filling the air, shutting down photosynthesis and causing darkness for perhaps as long as a year...major bummer!

The dinos, however, were in decline for millions of years before the asteroid strike, and the celestial hammering may be seen as presenting additional circumstances that collectively the saurians couldn’t cope with, causing 60% of all species to  go extinct at that time.

…and how about a “Dream Team” of  researchers?- – Can you imagine all of those pocket protectors?- -The nerdish laughter?- -The sexual frustration?!

Early Conditioning…

March 6, 2010

– – I was programmed to be furry from an early age; just my karma, I guess…anyways, when just a wee one I was enrolled in the Cub Scouts (although I would have preferred to have been called a fox kit), and attended weekly meetings in a den led by a den mother.– -Are you sensing a pattern here?!

Then I was made to swear an oath, and they’re serious stuff, by the way…swearing an oath is not to be confused with just plain swearing, which I learned early on can get you into a heap o’ trouble!  Part of the oath was, “…to obey the laws of the pack.” (silent pause for dramatic effect)

Now, many years later, I’m still bound by that oath, waiting for the pack leader to appear.- – Someone’s gotta tell me what I’m supposed to do;  I need my orders, right?   Until then and the coming revolution,  I suppose that as Churchill said,  “they also serve who only stand and wait.” I’m good at waiting as it’s not labor-intensive. – – Someday, the Alpha male will come and give me my marching orders…I have faith!

…another part of the Cub Scout oath was, “to be square”…and that, I’m afraid, has come all too true…

(…although I am a bit twisted, ahahahahaha!)    😉


Fishies of Fury!

March 4, 2010

– – I, for one, do not worry excessively about piranha, although Frankie the Fish does tend to annoy me because his McDonald’s jingle sticks inside my head.  (–“Gimme back that Fillet-O-Fish!”)

Anyways, MonsterQuest warned in their current episode that reports of piranha sightings have been growing around the country!–Yes, a Piranha Invasion! Even though these suckers are native to South American countries like Brazil, piranha have reportedly been caught every year for the past three years in the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri.

So MonsterQuest sent their team to this very location where a baited underwater surveying system was submerged, using what they termed a “dead chicken”  as bait.  While the deceased chicken was shredded up a bit, cameras showed that native fish did it rather than piranha.  The science team additionally ran experiments to see if red-bellied piranha could survive in cold water as would be encountered in the Ozark lake in winter.  They found that the piranha huddled together in temperatures from 55 to 50 degrees, and below that point, they lost their equilibrium and would presumably croak.   Parts of the Ozark lake in question are fed by underwater streams that stay warmer,  possibly in the mid-to upper 50’s range in winter so piranha could survive.

The historical perspectives of the show were to me the most interesting, with reference made to a mega-piranha four times the size of the current model which became extinct ten million years ago.  None less than Teddy Roosevelt gave an account of Amazonian piranha back in 1914 which cemented their reputation as ferocious.  An old grainy black and white photo of about that vintage was also shown depicting a human body stripped to the skeleton supposedly by piranha.  Today, there are dozens of documented piranha attacks in South America, with many of the victims having lost pieces of fingers and toes.

With over 40 different species of piranha, some like the red bellied variety may be better able to survive cold water, and there may be a handful of piranha in the Ozark lake, although probably not a lively breeding population.   Nothing to lose sleep over…

…and maybe next week’s episode on a “Lizard Man” may be more interesting!