The Bridgestone Beaver

Posted April 2, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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– – What goes around, comes around…or so we are shown in the karmic Bridgestone beaver saga, generally regarded as probably the best of this year’s Superbowl commercials.  We are shown an industrious beaver hard at work in a wooded area, dutifully carrying a branch across a road with a bridge spanning a river visible in the background.–Oh no!–A car is then shown zipping down the road towards the beaver, who throws his paws up in anticipation of becoming roadkill.  The guy driving, however, calls upon the excellent handling characteristics of his Bridgestone tires, and is able at the last second to swerve around the threatened beaver, avoiding a messy tragedy.

For the beaver, life is one dam thing after another…and we cut to six months in the future, when the same motorist is shown traveling down the same road during a storm.  This time, a tree across the road halts the driver’s progress.  It’s a good thing, too, because the bridge the motorist must cross has been swept away by a raging torrent of water!  The beaver and the motorist spot one another, and exchange salutes…it’s a great moment!

A parable for our time…now that’s car-ma!

Comments: 2 Comments

To Be Young, Elusive, and Serpentine…

Posted April 1, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, scalies
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– – She’s young, beautiful, quite deadly, and on the lam; the Bronx Zoo Egyptian cobra, that is!  A mere 3 ounces and just twenty inches long, the missing adolescent cobra has more than 135,000 followers on Twitter, some of whom suggest possible hideouts for her or relate supposed communications.

Staffers at the zoo believe that the elusive snake is still holed up in some warm spot at the Reptile House such as a heating duct or under a large appliance.  Unless discovered, the missing reptile could spend months in hiding before eventually emerging for water or something to nosh.

The snake’s toxins can cause respiratory failure, and is probably the type of asp that Cleopatra used to commit suicide; the venom is lethal to humans in 15 minutes.   Snakes tend to seek out confined spaces where they feel safe, where I rather imagine that she’s listening to some White Snake…

Addendum:   The Egyptian cobra has now been located by zoo staff coiled in a dark corner of the Reptile House during a sweep of the premises.  She is in good condition, but her Twittering days may be over…

Comments: 1 Comment

At One With Beer and Nature?

Posted March 30, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, furry spirits, television
Tags: ,

– – The Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World is notable here because of his apparent natural abilities with animals, who also seem to appreciate his legendary charisma.   We pause to salute this man because he goes out of his way to protect animals such as husky dogs, bears, and as illustrated,  foxes. As evidence of his ability to get along with and even control nature we cite the fact that whenever he swims, dolphins follow him.   He has a live owl that is shown in one commercial landing on his arm.  A recent commercial shows this beer-drinking wonder shooing a mountain lion out of his kitchen!

The actor who plays “The Most Interesting Man” is in real life Jonathan Goldsmith, who is committed to Saber Tigers, an organization designed to save big and endangered cats.  That makes Goldsmith one cool cat himself…


Comments: 4 Comments

It’s The Big One!

Posted March 28, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: blog business, Off-topic

– -Well, we’ve made it to 200,000 hits here on little ole Foxsylvania…a far cry from the days when I was getting perhaps seven hits a day, and almost gave up on this blog!   Now I’m committed…or perhaps I should be!

What can I say?–Thank you guys so very much!!!

Comments: 4 Comments

Another Dubious Bigfoot Video…

Posted March 26, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: cryptozoology, strange happenings, unexplained, unidentified
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– – Lord have mercy, it’s another Bigfoot video, this one from a guy in Rutherford County in North Carolina taken March 22nd, and guess what?—It’s blurry! The Bigfoot in this video is socially challenged and hygienically impaired.

The videotape is reported to show a 7-foot-tall, 300 pound, six-toed Bigfoot as taken from a distance of 15 to 20 feet away.  The creature, described as brown and furry, allegedly ran across a local road in Rutherford County, and smelled “like a cross between roadkill and a skunk.”  Bigfoot also supposedly snarled or growled at the photographer as it ran across the road.

Needless to say, the authenticity of the video has come into question, with a local respected Bigfoot hunter maintaining that a real Bigfoot creature would have only five toes and present with a different walking stride.   To quote another commentator, “I don’t believe that we as humans have seen all there is to see in this world, but when you show me a video that is in focus and does not appear to be some gorilla-suited weirdo, then I will believe someone captured Bigfoot on film.”

Comments: 2 Comments

Candy, Chicks, & Rock ‘N’ Roll!

Posted March 24, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, movies
Tags: ,

– – Most Easter family movies are old school cartoons better left forgotten, but Hop may set the bar higher.  Featuring E.B., the teenage son of the Easter Bunny who plays a mean set of skins and wants to become a drummer in a rock ‘n’ Roll band, the hare destined for greatness splits for Hollywood only to be hit by the car of Fred the slacker in L.A.  Alas, one cannot escape their destiny…

Taking the Easter Bunny heir in as he recovers, Fred discovers that he has the world’s worst house guest, and that they both are running from adulthood; do ‘ya blame ’em?   Hop blends state-of-the-art animation with live action, and features some cute touches,  such as the all-female special forces of the Easter Bunny, the Pink Berets, who really kick tail!

Coming to theaters from Universal Pictures on April 1st…it will leave you wanting candy, and singing the song!



Comments: 4 Comments

Ram-bo and Gum Gimmicks…

Posted March 21, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
Tags: ,

– – Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in the Aliens series forever set the bar high for me on what a strong, take-charge woman should be, someone who can hold her own with space marines and even prevail against a ferocious mother alien in mortal combat.  None too shabby either is a young female we are treated to in the latest Stride Spark gum commercial who when charged by a ram, wrestles the sucker to the ground, and uses the power of oomph to intimidate and deter him from additional aggression.

Now we’ve seen ram-tactics successfully employed before by shadowy gum agents, those frightening secret operatives determined to retrieve the long-lasting gum from users in order to compel them to buy more gum; commercialism ain’t pretty.   In an earlier spot for Stride,  a ram is successfully deployed to strike a poor male chewer crossing a street, causing the gum to fly out of his mouth where it can be retrieved.  These same secret operatives are not above using wrestlers or even German ethnic dancers to achieve their objectives.   Probably in the future, the History Channel will link them to Freemasonry or some dark alien agenda.

I fear the gum agents and their unspeakable objectives, and like the truth, I know that they are out there…

Comments: 2 Comments

Squirrel Goes Nuts!

Posted March 18, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, furry, unexplained
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– – It’s never pretty when a squirrel runs amuck and goes on the rampage in a neighborhood…and so, things must have gotten ugly indeed when a squirrel terrorized a Vermont neighborhood, attacking at least three residents and eluding wildlife control experts for more than a week!

The rascal rodent has bitten and scratched neighbors in Bennington, Vermont without apparent provocation.  One victim was shoveling snow outside his home when the sneak attack began.  “He was holding on.  He wouldn’t let go.  I was finally able to get him off, and as soon as I got him off, he just jumped right at me again,” said one man, who suffered several nasty scratches last week;  the horror, the horror…

A veterinarian has hypothesized that the gray squirrel might have been raised as a pet, and lost its fear of humans.  Wildlife authorities say its unlikely that the squirrel has rabies, as the incidence of rabid rodent cases is reportedly very low in Vermont…

…maybe the poor thing’s having an existential crisis.  At any rate, you who are traveling in Vermont have been warned, and we may at least be grateful that this squirrel doesn’t talk, wear aviator glasses, and keep company with a moose…

Comments: 3 Comments

DIRECTV Mini Giraffe Commercials…

Posted March 16, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, strange, television
Tags: ,

– – He looks, sounds,  and acts like a James Bond villain, and I guess not all Russians have suffered since the breakup of the former Soviet Union;  at least one, Epic Win, lives in opulence that would put the Czars to shame, surrounds himself with beautiful young women, has associates who lift massive weights apparently made of gold, and in what I am most interested in, has an affectionate mini giraffe as a pet, one who even has his own treadmill in the latest commercial!

The aptly-named Russian was previously seen in a DIRECTV commercial pictured here named, Opulence, I Has It. While some people have actually posed the question,  there are no giraffes in reality of that size, with even newborn giraffes being much larger.  The wonderful creature pictured in the commercial moves very convincingly, and would presumably be the product of genetic engineering, which our fabulously wealthy Russian with all of those gold bars could indulge in…

…and check out the wealth of detail in the commercials as well; in the original, the obscenely-wealthy Russian has a Van Gogh, and poker-playing dogs appear briefly in the background (one is cheating)!   But  for one of the females to lift a tray of gold bars as if they were light as feathers is perhaps a reminder that we’re seeing an entertaining fantasy…

…Mini giraffes?–I wants it!

Comments: 3 Comments

Geico “Cats and Dogs” Commercial…

Posted March 14, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
Tags: ,

– – In a wonderful nod to the classic car chase from the movie Bullitt as well as 1970’s detective shows (think “Starsky and Hutch”), the latest Geico “Cats and Dogs” commercial asks whether Geico can save you 15% with actor Mike McGlone answering himself,  “Do dogs chase cats?” Then we’re treated to an old-school car pursuit with a furry twist…

Cool at the wheel of an early 1970’s Mustang is an orange tabby (Jax the cat),  who doesn’t appear overly concerned about a hot pursuit by a boxer (Drake the dog) in a beat-up gas guzzler through mean city streets.  There’s even a  funky jazz fusion soundtrack to accompany the chase sequence!

While we’re not  shown the outcome of the chase, we do get a cool undercarriage shot as one of the cars vaults a rise in the road.   My money’s on the feline wheelman, who needs fear no boxer for torque art with him…


Comments: 5 Comments

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