FOXSYLVANIA

– – It’s never pretty when a squirrel runs amuck and goes on the rampage in a neighborhood…and so, things must have gotten ugly indeed when a squirrel terrorized a Vermont neighborhood, attacking at least three residents and eluding wildlife control experts for more than a week!

The rascal rodent has bitten and scratched neighbors in Bennington, Vermont without apparent provocation.  One victim was shoveling snow outside his home when the sneak attack began.  “He was holding on.  He wouldn’t let go.  I was finally able to get him off, and as soon as I got him off, he just jumped right at me again,” said one man, who suffered several nasty scratches last week;  the horror, the horror…

A veterinarian has hypothesized that the gray squirrel might have been raised as a pet, and lost its fear of humans.  Wildlife authorities say its unlikely that the squirrel has rabies, as the incidence of rabid rodent cases is reportedly very low in Vermont…

…maybe the poor thing’s having an existential crisis.  At any rate, you who are traveling in Vermont have been warned, and we may at least be grateful that this squirrel doesn’t talk, wear aviator glasses, and keep company with a moose…