DQ’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll Falcon

Posted July 8, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, cool things, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television

Tags: ,

 – – Falcons seem to be going through a surge in commercial popularity, and Dairy Queen has also come to realize that animal spokesmen sell.  They’ve then given us an all too brief glimpse of one of the most awesome birds yet to be seen on television,  the Rock ‘N’ Roll Falcon!  This is one bird who knows how to do wing gestures, and who also talks the talk; “It’s good to be back in Boston, YEEAAH!”  If used as a front man, this falcon could guarantee that a band’s album would go platinum!

Dairy Queen had earlier given us such things as kittens floating in bubbles as well…

The State Farm Falcon Commercial…

Posted July 6, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, feathered friends, furry commercials, strange, television

Tags:

– – Insurance companies seem to be competing these days over who can produce the most off-the-wall commercials, and State Farm is in the running with an ad featuring a couple walking down a surreal street populated by a number of people, many of whom are carrying strange objects such as a gumball machine or a stuffed moose head.- -Well, it seems our man on the street has been saved sufficient money that he’s invested it in a falcon, which we see perched on his gloved arm.  Others beholding the falcon are envious, and make comments to the effect, “Aww, I could have got a falcon!”  The couple call their State Farm agent and thank him for buying them a falcon, but he denies having done that, maintaining that he simply saves people money, and that what they do with it is their concern.

Despite the fact that the peregrine falcon is magnificent, it should be pointed out that they are classified as raptors, the possession of which generally requires state and federal permits that can take years to acquire as well as specialized knowledge about their care and handling.  You can’t just go out and buy one at Walmart, no matter how much money you’ve saved! 

Scorpion on a Plane!

Posted July 4, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, Invertebrates, strange happenings

Tags:

 – – It sounds like a sequel to the forgettable action flick Snakes on a Plane, but the scorpion on a plane was all too real, and it stung a Portland-area man flying from Seattle to Anchorage during a June 17th Alaska Airlines flight.

The male victim felt something crawling inside one of his sleeves while trying to sleep on the flight, and thought it was a small bug.  When it turned out to be a scorpion, the man at least had some fun out of the experience by gathering the arachnid up in a napkin, and showing it to his girlfriend!  Predictably, she freaked.   By this time, the man’s elbow was burning from the sting, and two doctors on board checked the guy out while the flight crew called for medics to meet the plane at the airport in Anchorage.  The girlfriend kept her feet on the seat for the rest of the flight, refusing to put them on the floor.

The arachnid is felt to have been a striped bark scorpion common to Texas where the flight originated.  An Alaska Airlines spokesperson said the airline has never had a poisonous creature like the scorpion on one of their flights before.

Politicians, lawyers, and my ex-supervisors apparently have never flown Alaska Airlines…

“Gladiator” Fights Lion; Not Worth Lion’s Time…

Posted July 1, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, deplorable practices, just plain stupid, strange happenings, weird

Tags:

 – – With the World Animal Bothering Belt on the line, a self-proclaimed Egyptian “gladiator” stepped into a steel cage set in a wheat field in Mansoura, Egypt with a reportedly 660-lb. (?) lion in order to attract foreign visitors to Egypt and lift his country out of its post-revolution downturn. 

As the “gladiator” glared and bared his teeth, the lion, which had been fed an entire donkey before the event, is reported to have looked bored.   The event lasted 17 minutes, with spectators said to have been disappointed and to have regarded the feat as a publicity stunt.

One can only imagine what thoughts were running through the lion’s head about the human warrior, who carried a “shield” made of an old satellite dish (“You are so lame, pink skin!”).  The Egyptian Tourism Minister commendably blasted the spectacle as an inhumane act against animals…

For his next exhibition, perhaps the warrior will take on a narcoleptic camel, an agoraphobic scorpion, or even a rather large jellyfish in a bucket of water!–Hey, reality TV should be this good!

The Chicken or The Egg?

Posted June 29, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television

Tags:

– – Worldly philosophers have debated this one for eons:  Which came first, the chicken, or the egg?   In this short commercial for DirecTV, we see a chicken voiced by John Goodman answer his door to behold…an egg distinguishable only by eyeglassses!   Well, the egg (voiced by Steve Buscemi) winds up on the chicken’s couch in a homey-looking room where they debate the chicken vs. egg issue while promoting DirecTV.  The chicken gets the last word in…

Don’t Forget To Duck!

Posted June 27, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: science, space

Tags: , ,

 – – A bus-sized asteroid with the catchy name of 2011 MD will pass within about 7,500 miles of the Earth on Monday, June 27th…a near-miss in astronomical terms.  An object of this size can be expected to come this close to Earth about every six years or so on average. 

Asteroid 2011 MD will be visible in moderately-large amateur telescopes, measuring 9 to 30 meters wide with the best guess about 10 meters.   There is no chance that the asteroid will impact with the earth, and even if it entered the atmosphere it wouldn’t likely reach the Earth’s surface…no planet-killer, this.  After making its closest pass at Earth, the asteroid will zoom through the zone of geosynchronous satellites, but is also extremely unlikely to hit any space junk…unless Lone Star and Barf are out there in their space Winnebago, seeking Princess Vespa!

“Bigfoot” Hair and Oil Samples to Undergo DNA Testing…

Posted June 25, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: cryptozoology, mysteries, strange happenings, unexplained, unidentified

Tags:

  – –  Samples of hair hoped or thought to be from a Bigfoot have yielded disappointing results in the past few years when subjected to scientific analysis; some have been found to be from a bison, others from a humble opossum.  Here we go again with hair and oil samples left on a pickup truck in California’s Sierra National Forest over Memorial Day!   Dirt and oil impressions left on the passenger side window may be from a Bigfoot, or they may be bear slobber and snot; a twelve-inch footprint was also found at the site.  An even larger creature left impressions on the driver’s side window which included prints of a nose, eyes, and lips…the lips measuring about six inches long.

Friends of the pickup truck’s owner who have observed the evidence include a former science teacher and a correctional officer.   They doubt that a bear was responsible for the intrusion as none of four ice chests filled with food in the back of the truck had been touched.  DNA samples collected by a forensic expert may eventually shed light on the identity of the unknown intruder, although if the sample comes back having tested as near human or primate, it could match both Bigfoot and a homeless person…

“Pudding Face” Jello Commercial…

Posted June 23, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: strange, television, weird

Tags:

 – – If ever human beings were in screaming need of plastic surgery, it is the “pudding face” people pictured in Jell-O commercials.  The facial images presented are disturbingly creepy, reminding me somewhat of Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of The Joker; the commercials don’t inspire me to go out and buy Jello (“Gee!– -I wanna look like that!”), but rather to collect money to buy the poor afflicted souls with the condition prompt surgical correction (“Give generously, or “Pudding Face” is forever!”).  An army of zombies with “Pudding Face” would be too horrible to imagine.   It’s one of those things so weird and repugnant that you wish you could look away, but you somehow can’t help but stare at the image, as if it were a decayed mummy…

Green Light for “The Lantern”

Posted June 21, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: movies

Tags:

 – – Movies about comic book heroes tend to be at least somewhat disappointing if not outright disasters, and the reception for “The Green Lantern” has been at best lukewarm.  I can’t claim to be wholly objective about the movie, having been a big long-term fan of the comic book and the title character; with this bias remembered and acknowledged, I did find the movie a hoot, and wasn’t disappointed; the pluses at least outweighed the negatives.

Sitting in the darkened theater wearing my geeky 3D glasses and waiting for endless commercials and promos to end, I pondered how much the 3D filming would add to my theater experience; it certainly added $3 to my ticket price.  Perhaps in any sequel, the Green Lantern could take on evil surcharges!  Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan I feel was a good choice for the Green Lantern; he’s muscular without being bulky,  and  played the character well with a mixture of cockiness and vulnerability.  The CGI Green Lantern suit with its Kato-type mask was impressive if unreal, and Hal Jordan flies in a wonderful floaty style, at times striking poses that are classically Green Lantern.  With some but not enough of the action set in deep space, you also get to meet all too briefly a variety of intriguing aliens who constitute the “Green Lantern Corps,” cosmic good guys who serve as protectors of peace and justice; some of Jordan’s training occurs at the hands of a massive and harsh alien drill instructor.

The Green Lantern has a rich and rather complex mythology which I won’t go into here in detail, but suffice it to say that Green Lanterns can manipulate the energy of will into any kind of physical matter and utilize it;  Superman can’t even do this stuff!   A yellow energy drawing on fear represents their major opposition, with a creature utilizing it called Parallax who reminds me of “the Blob” or perhaps a dirty version of assorted nasty entities from Star Trek.  When the best warriors of the Green Lantern Corps go to do battle with Parallax, it’s like the Federation fighting the Borg at Wolf 359 with similar results.

After Hal Jordan fights Hector Hammond,  a catspaw of Parallax on earth who undergoes a repulsive metamorphosis, the ultimate showdown occurs in space…and if you see the movie, stay through the closing credits to see Sinestro turn to the Dark Side and hint at room for sequels!  While not a perfect movie, with tweaking to emphasize the iconic Green Lantern elements this could be a worthwhile series