Dean Winters in “Deer Mayhem…”

Posted January 4, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Dean Winters in his Allstate commercials effectively does a remarkable range of impersonations of objects, types of people, and to my interest, animals. In recent memory he has portrayed a raccoon, large breed puppy, bear, and my personal fave, a cat! Remarkably, he channels all of these creatures with little or no makeup, and often while wearing a suit. He doesn’t require a costume or prosthetics, rendering his minimalist but spot-on impressions by posture, actions, and attitude…

…and so equally masterful is Winters’ impression of a wild deer, emerging from a wooded area chewing on a leaf. He comes to a road, musing “What is this thing?” as he freezes on that surface, because that’s what deer do. Transfixed by the headlights of an approaching car, Winters as deer is thrown up onto the vehicle before landing on the pavement before it, leaving vehicular damage in his wake…

Winters is not a dead deer, however, continuing to address us scuffed up while lying on the road surface. Heck, Mayhem is nigh about indestructible. And if you had Allstate insurance, you might save some bucks, and be saved from Mayhem…like him! 🙀

Comments: 2 Comments

Sympathy for The Grinch…

Posted December 16, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, famous furries, fantasy, furry, movies, seasonal, television
Tags: ,

Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m the Grinch…of Mt. Crumpit!” – -(to the tune of, “Sympathy for the Devil,” by The Rolling Stones)

At this time of year, my thoughts turn naturally to The Grinch. He was, after all, a furry, and like many of us, misunderstood and much-maligned. Max was a furry too, an anthropomorphic dog, loyal and obedient to his master, even if the Ego to the Grinch’s Id. Max I suspect actually liked Xmas, and probably would have affectionately licked any Whos that he came across…

Now, can you imagine being visibly different as a child, then banished to lonely exile on the foreboding heights of Mt. Crumpit? As Kermit the Frog memorably lamented, “It’s not easy being green!”

Is there not, I say, a little bit of the pre-redemptive Grinch in all of us? Who of us has not had dark thoughts after being exposed to Xmas carols and commercials since Halloween? I mean, how many times can you suffer hearing “I Want A Hippopotamus for Xmas” before you utterly lose it?! 🙀

And let’s face it, The Whos were annoying in their relentless cheerfulness. They represented the overkill aspects of Xmas, and holding us all up to an impossible celebratory standard. Clearly, they needed taken down a few pegs, an infusion of Grinchiness…

Even pre-redemptively, The Grinch had some remarkable qualities. He was a survivor, a strong if solitary spirit who was a master strategist and a genius inventor with many skills, kind of the Wile E. Coyote of Xmas characters. His Road Runner was the Xmas overkill that is everywhere at this time of year. I submit to you that The Grinch was a cultural warrior, a tragic hero who only wanted peace and sanity, and perhaps a little Who Hash…

So respect and honor The Grinch, who meant well but whose reach exceeded his grasp. I shall celebrate The Mean One in my heart always, and save him a generous slice of roast beast…🦊

Comments: 3 Comments

NJM’s “Snowman” Commercial…

Posted December 6, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, humor, television, twisted reality
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What could be more Christmas-y than a cute, smiling snowman? The one in this NJM insurance commercial is even rather pint-sized, so he’s not particularly menacing. Two kids are crafting the snowman, one of which looks a bit like Ralphie in A Christmas Story. And wouldn’t ‘ya know it, once they put Dad’s ball cap on said snowman, he’s comes to life in the best Frosty the Snowman tradition…

Rather than lead the kids in a parade, this snowman begins to sing about Polar insurance, “the coolest around,” He waves his stick-branch arms cheerfully about. The kids scream, and run away; Mom and Dad are still standing there, however, and the insurance-shilling snowman asks them if they have any hot chocolate. One wonders if the snowman has a death wish…

For a company that prides itself in having no mascots, NJM has produced for us some of the best mascots around…a variety, no less!

Comments: 2 Comments

Ditching the Drama Llama “Flight” Commercial…

Posted November 14, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Drama Queens (and Kings, let’s be honest) are just about everywhere on the internet. You can barely enter a forum without encountering at least one, and they are easy to “trigger.” So it is appropriate that Dramamine has unveiled a spokes-animal that is an actual drama-llama, trying to get Rachel nervous about an upcoming flight…

…walking with her, the drama llama reminds the air traveler that she got nauseous during a previous flight, that the flight may get bumpy, and that she has a middle seat. But when Rachel whips out her box of Dramamine, the llama audibly gasps, stands back as the jet door closes, and tells the passenger that he or she is gonna wait right there!

Although the llama’s voice sounds male, if female would the drama llama be a momma? And at night time, would she be a drama llama in pajamas? Inquiring minds wanna know…

So if you see a drama llama, don’t feed it unless with Dramamine…and don’t confuse a drama lama with an emo alpaca, either… 🦊

Comments: 11 Comments

Mountain Dew…”Your Soul Needs Dew” Commercial

Posted November 6, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furries, furry, furry commercials, furry fandom, furry television, television, twisted reality
Tags: ,

This commercial for Mountain Dew blew me away…totally! It’s definitely furry-friendly. Three persons figure in it. A guy is working on his computer in a large office. He stares at his complexion on his monitor, and he is reptilian. A young woman in a diner happens to stare out the window, and sees her reflection as an exotic bird. A third guy is throwing out garbage in an alley, looks up, and sees his image as feline. This furry trio has gotta do the town, and they do!

We see these guys individually and collectively, the reptile viewing his reflection in an elevator glass and the big cat viewing his paw appendages. They go places, too, like a pool hall, making a fine entrance and getting admiring glances. The reptilian is shown performing in some kind of trendy club, playing to a receptive audience. Two of them are shown in an off-road vehicle. There’s no stopping these guys as they make the world their own in their idealized furry forms…

So enjoy…I think that someone out there in commercial-land finally understands the furry experience, and the inner self! And I’d drink a boatload of Mountain Dew if it would transform me… 🦊

Comments: 6 Comments

The Halloween Spirit Off-Season…

Posted November 4, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: fantasy, furry, humor, twisted reality
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When you’re a Halloween spirit shocked and overwhelmed by the cloying intrusion of Xmas well-ahead of time, it ain’t easy. I mean, I turned on my car radio on Halloween to find Frosty the Snowman playing…true story! This is why Halloween-spirited foxes are tempted to attack Xmas-playlist radio stations airing in October with chainsaws. It would only be poetic Justice, after all…

Now I’m already mourning the end of spooky season, but the Xmas people were already stepping all over me in late October. If Xmas feels that it deserves to be a two-month holiday, can’t we Halloween folks demand the same? Equal rights, eh Xmas? It’s only fair, after all…

Now Thanksgiving is perhaps the last chance to slow if not stop the Xmas juggernaut, but I don’t have much hope for that, as Thanksgiving icons are basically turkeys. Thanksgiving seems to be basically about grossly overeating, then unbuttoning the pants to fall asleep while watching football, at least in the minds of many…

Christmas just doesn’t listen. Never has, never will. It’s the Godzilla of holidays, fueled by commercialism and profit, and when money talks, business listens…

This doesn’t mean, however, that we can’t at least fight the good fight…and when people wish me “Happy Holidays,” I will urge them to remember Halloween! 🦊🦇🎃

Comments: 3 Comments

Halloween Reflections…

Posted October 31, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, animal elements, anthropomorphic, fantasy, furry, furry television, horror
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Unto you, good readers, I show my inner self. Halloween’s here, a time that I relish more than Xmas. Let us rejoice and be glad in it with a few things that may help you get into the spirit of the season, one that is all too brief but precious in its brevity…

From Michael Jackson’s Halloween Special of several years ago (2017) we bring you Jim Parsons (best known as Sheldon Cooper) voicing Hay Man, and channeling the dance moves of Michael Jackson, complete with a back-up cast of animals that include foxes! What could be more appropriate than some foxes bustin’ some serious moves, because we’re feral, ‘ya see…because we’re bad…because we’re dangerous!

Yes, I’m an unabashed Halloween freak! I adore it, and resist all pressures to “outgrow” the holiday. One does not “outgrow” Halloween…it grows on you, and within you.- -Xmas spirit?- -I nurture the spirit of Halloween! I think that my enjoyment of horror gives me my dosage of Halloween year-round. It’s like a nutritional requirement for me, really…

We animal-spirits are a natural for Halloween, too. We can all draw inspiration from cats. Mine are daily trying to become more human, while I’m trying to become more like them. Perhaps we could meet in the middle…

Yes, Halloween has some dark elements, but it’s also a celebration, a kind of restorative reaching within yourself to validate and liberate what might be there. We need to kick back a bit against the bonds of civilization. This can be a cathartic experience, which ties in nicely with the furry fandom, which is communal but also intensely individual. We are never more free than when we embrace our inner animal…

So enjoy your Halloween, and carry a bit of it in your heart all-year round. I know that I do… 🦊

Comments: 5 Comments

“Renfield” a disappointment…

Posted October 25, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, horror, humor
Tags: , ,

With Halloween less than a week away, I was initially happy to get an opportunity to view Renfield on Amazon Prime video, Now I want to stress that I’m mostly into werewolves as opposed to vampires, but have always found the character of Renfield interesting as Dracula’s quirky and troubled servant, and so was ready to see him take center stage and perhaps receive more character development.

Renfield, however, is one of those movies with a promising concept that fails to deliver due to bungled writing and a wandering, confused sense of what it wants to be. As a horror-comedy, it degrades the horrific elements, and becomes more of a social commentary bathed in blood. Nicolas Cage’s Dracula is played campy and over-the-top. He looks the part, but never reaches the dark and formidable majesty of Dracula, perhaps because you cannot be horrific and comic at the same time…

As for Renfield, he is in group therapy sessions led by a counselor/therapist who is clueless to the real situation but guides Renfield in seeing himself as the victim of an abusive relationship. “I deserve happiness,” pleads Renfield to Dracula. “You deserve only suffering!.” roars Cage’s Dracula as he slashes Renfield’s bowels. Renfield further struggles to update his wardrobe and acclimate to 21st century life, and maintains an upscale apartment. He is complimented on his “nice sweater,” and blesses nuns back when they bless him. Renfield comes across as a proper English gentleman, handsome even in a ruffled way…

Now when he eats bugs, Renfield acquires temporary vampiric powers, and becomes a masterful fighter with an accelerated healing factor, and eventually finds the gumption to confront Dracula. All ties to Bram Stoker’s source material have been abandoned at this point, however…

So there you have it…a good concept muddled by poor execution. While it does have its moments and is entertaining, Renfield may just drive you batty… 🦇

Comments: 18 Comments

“Stranger Things” a Multidimensional Delight!

Posted October 16, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, anthropomorphic, bizarre, creature features, horror, paranormal, psychic, sci fi, surrealism in life, twisted reality
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It’s daunting to deal with the Netflix series Stranger Things in a single post because of the scope and complexity of it. For those unfamiliar with it, suffice it to say that the series is a science fiction/horror delight, and it doesn’t get much sweeter than this!

Stranger Things might be compared to the works of Stephen King blended through The X-Files and run through Buffy the Vampire Slayer, though the comparison is inadequate. If watching the series, begin with Season 1 Episode 1, or it will seem incomprehensible. You may think you’re watching a kid’s series at first as the protagonists are all pre-teens initially, but hang in…

The Duffer brothers who created the series set it in the sleepy Indiana town of Hawkins in the 1980’s, where the government has been conducting secret unethical experiments on children with psychic powers, kinda like human lab rats. One of them, named Eleven as her subject number, has awesome psychic powers, and is at the heart of the show…psychokinesis and remote viewing are among her talents. Raised in a lab, Eleven initially shows a lack of language training, conventional education, and even human contact, but is a fast study...

And it gets stranger still, turning out that there’s kind of a portal to another dimension in the area called the Upside Down, through which monsters pass, and abduct people when it suits them. Some of the monsters closely parallel those of Dungeons and Dragons, such as the Demogorgon or Demo-dog…

There are other monsters jumping between dimensions, too, like the Mind-Flayer, which can possess people and assume a variety of forms. Those possessed can be referred to as the Flayed… 🙀

At the top of the food chain is Vecna, which sounds like an insurance company but who is actually another lab experiment gone terribly awry, and turned to the dark side. Once human, Vecna resembles someone who has been flayed and burned, and also possesses powerful psychokinetic powers, which leads to epic good-versus-evil battles with Eleven.

Soon to enter its fifth season, Stranger Things brings together science fiction, horror, and a little leavening humor in a rare combination, and is likely to hook you into its winning formula...

Comments: 4 Comments

Of Mummified Alien Corpses…

Posted September 15, 2023 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, anomalies, bizarre, cryptozoology, paranormal, science, strange happenings, weird
Tags: , ,

Let me start by saying that I would be beyond excited and thrilled if living aliens or real alien corpses were actually produced. As Fox Mulder’s office poster proclaimed, “I Want To Believe.” I could die happy if positive proof of alien life were produced…

Jaime Maussan, a journalist and self-proclaimed Ufologist, recently presented to a Mexican congressional committee two supposed alien mummified “corpses” that were gray, had three fingers, bulbous heads, an “ET”-type elongated neck, and measured about 1-1/2′ in length. They were presented behind glass panels in small caskets, with the claim made that they were discovered in 2017 in algae mines in Cusco, Peru. They are supposed to be between 800 and 1,700 years old…

These “alien corpses” look phony at even casual photographic examination, and smart money holds that they are paper mache constructions overlayed on a doll body or wire armature. This makes them akin to sideshow gaffes like the “Rat Boy.”

The presenter of said defunct aliens has done such things before, unveiling in 2015 another “alien corpse” that turned out to be the remains of a long-deceased child with a head deformity.

So continue to “look to the skies,” but take comfort in the fact that if 1-1/2 foot tall aliens invade you, with little effort you could boot them into tomorrow… 👽

Comments: 8 Comments

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